CowgirlJane

Oh, and here is the other thing. I had NO expectations of what I would look like when i got to goal. I was very very focused on health, physical ability and life enjoyment. I strongly encourage you to put your focus the same way becasue life is too damn short to worry about every lilttle nitpicky flaw. I did have skin removeal/reconstructive plastics and am THRILLED with my results. I have observed that people who make peace with their bodies are always much happier (without plastics or post plastics even) because the mind is actually harder to change than the body quite frankly...

I lost 160+ post sleeve and about 185 from my lifetime high. WEight loss didn't make me happy. In fact, losing the fatsuit, losing eating as a soothing and emotional numbing tool has caused some angst. What weight loss did was quite literally take a huge weight off my daily existance. I can move better, I have less pain, I feel more socially comfortable, i feel more normal. Weight loss doesn't solve a darn thing in life, but it removes one of the obstacles to enjoying life to the max. I don't think I was a food addict (whatever that even means) but I surely used obesity and overeating as a way to regulate moods and numb myself. It has been shocking to live in a world where i experience and feel so much more... almost like bright lights shining in my eyes or something - kind of overwhelming at first. I am 3.5 years post op and it is getting better. I didn't realize it before - but this emotional state is EXACTLY what triggered regains in the past. Like I just couldn't tolerate the intensity. I had a helpful counselor who taught me some things but one of the most valuable was to learn that it is "okay" to feel... sometimes that means feeling bad. That sounds completely nuts, but one of my issues was I always felt the need to fill the hole in my heart. I am really learning that sometimes your wounds need to be felt, sadness and worries do need to be experienced and that is when healing begins. It is working, but it is a slower process than I expected. Another thing I have learned is there are lots of people who are WAY more unhappy then me... I don't mean to make it seem like a race to the bottom or anything, but truth is I am MOSTLY very happy. I am grateful for it. I am grateful for another chance at life. When I get anxious or defensive or any of those "bad" feelings I remind myself that this is the human condition and it is normal to feel that way sometimes but the main thing is to not let it hurt relationships or interfere with my enjoyment of life.

Kim, I saw that other post. Interesting and I agree - you have done AWESOME! We are so self critical at times... I didn't download the article but one of the crazy things is the weight they use for ideal. My NUT told me 142 is what they would use for me, i did get down to 140 but I was really quite thin and not healthy feeling (that was last year when I was struggling so much). In my mind I have lost 100% of my excess because I think my goal in the 150s is more realistic, but I get that mathematically I am more in the losing something like 90% of my excess. I'LL TAKE IT!!!!! I went on a girls weekend this last weekend and one of them is a dietician. She claims that many many people have a complete regain about 10 years out - I haven't seen studies of that type so I was curious about it. I didn't press her because I didn't really want a big group discussion AND dieticians are not necessarily that educated about these things. Just curious if anyone else has seen it? Saw a very young elk calf this weekend. A "late born" calf still had his spots and was wobbly legged. My hunter friend said he was a week or less old. He was well camoflauged and just stood up next to us on the trail when our horses startled him into moving. Thank goodness my horses just looked and thought same things we did - that is a MIGHTY BIG DEAR FAWN - ha! Then my friend and I were like... wonder where mama is... I don't want to be between that baby and anyting big enough to have given birth to it! It was very cool though. We also startled a number of grouse, flew right up under my horses and they were both awesome. Got to see their eggs too. We heard a bear huffing, never saw him, that is an unnerving feeling since with the hills it was hard to tell how close it was. We listened and could hear it moving along a ridgeline next to us so we calmly made our way... making a quiet but deliberate exit from the scene. Bears don't want to attack, but it is cub season.... and I know that huffing is a warning noise "you are in my space and I don't like it".... My younger horse Mia can be a pill and she isn't the best trail horse in my mind, however she was AWESOME through all this. Especially compared to this lady that joined us (an aquaintance of one of our little group). She was arrogant about how her horses had this advanced level of training but you would have never guessed that based on what we saw this weekend.... bolting, disobeying, crowding other horses etc. Made Mia look like a champ.

I regret living a less fullfilling life for decades due to obesity I regret that I needed the help of WLS to attain and maintain a normal, healthy weight/size I recognize that WLS is a risk, both short term and long term but I am ever grateful for this help, this "chance" and living the life I have always dreamed of.

Cathy, that Turin trip sounds great! Dee so glad to hear from you and happy you are better! Denise, I thought you were mending and getting more active...No? That is so disappointing but don't let depression stop you from getting therapy or whatever needs to happen. I just did a girls weekend of riding eating and drinking and I do feel bloated!

I shall continue to persevere in the battle against these spamming (fill in insult noun)! Well...after I return from a girls riding, glamping (okay it's a luxury cabin with hottub ) and party weekend!

Vent away...then back on track....that's what I do even post op...

You misunderstand me. I want that intimacy but repeatedly select men for relationships who either can't physically or don't want to (emotional/intimacy reasons). I feel very confident in myself in that setting but since I don't want casual sex encounters I never discover this "issue" until we are months into a relationship. First time I thought..bad luck. Second time I thought....what are the odds? Third time I ask myself what am I doing to attract this to me??? Omg...who knew it could be such a challenge to find this? Since becoming single I did see someone for a long term, not a permanent relationship where we had a terrific time. I wish I could find something even close to that good (and he is way older than me even!) who also wants a serious relationship.

Well I have been called a bully for suggesting that following the plan is part of what you signed up for/paid for when you picked a surgeon and surgery. oh well - everyone has to find their own path.

This is one reason most veterans don't stay around. And you get lambasted, called a bully and worse if you attempt to tell people the truth. I went through a time when I could barely stand it, but I cope iwth it now by not reading most of those types of posts. It took me awhile to figure this out, but it is better to let those stil in the honeymoon period respond to all that. Their reality and truth is that they pretty much can do all that stuff and still lose weight. come year 2, 3 etc that is when they will start looking for solutions to a different set of problems (regain for example) and that is when my voice might actually make a difference.

This is complicated. I went through a period of time of feeling like I wanted to go out alot. Here is what is funny, I DIDN'T engage in these behaviors you are talking about - probably because advances triggered the "flight" response in me. I guess I also view casual encounters as too high risk from a safety point of view (I am talking about this on many levels not just the obvious STDs). I did enjoy dressing to go out, going with a safe group of people and spending the whole evening on the dance floor though. I would go out socializing with groups of people (from meetups) but never hooked up or dated any of them. I arrived alone, went home alone - no exceptions. I have had a couple of relationships over the last few years and much to my chagrin, they have generally NOT been wild passionate affairs. Instead I was looking for what was familiar to me - committed long term relationships - and yet I had that same "fear" of settling down that you are talking about so no big surprise I wasn't too successful at finding a match for that LTR. Maybe it is an age thing too - world is full of us committment phobics. So, I am much calmer now, I seldom go out anymore and I have even less desire than before to "hook up" with a stranger (or someone not in a committed type relationship)/. At the same time, I find my "suspicion" about a long term relationship to be persistent. It is not that I think men are bad in any way, it is more that fear of being trapped, not sure I can go through it all again (risking heartbreak etc) I have been seeing someone for about 3 months now and we are good companions, we consider each other boyfriend/girlfriend but we do not have a physically intimate relationship. I find that completely unsatisfactory but it is the pattern I have done a couple of times since becoming single. Go figure. (before you ask, it takes two to tango and I can't make it happen on my own, just trust me on that one) I am told i am attractive, fit, sexy, vibrant blah blah blah... but I have done something to attract a particular energy into my world. I have no answers, and the counselor I was seeing wasn't much help on this topic either.

Maybe I am more of a cautious person, but nobody I have only known for a few months needs to know my life history, my entire medical history or any of that. It takes me a long time to open the door on all that to someone. I realize he may be true love, but it has been my experience that it takes a bit longer to know that.

Be aware that in the early post op weeks your stomach may not have sensation due to nerve damage. I personally would buckle down, avoid restaurants and eat by mesuring spoon and scale until you are more practiced in the art of eating properly for the sleeve. That is what I did...just a temporary thing to help me along.

I did not feel fully human till about 12 weeks post op....hang in there

Hey..I was called out in front of company executives at a little meet and greet for top performers. The woman who did it was mortified as soon as she realized it..it was not her intention to embarrass me but the words were out and everybody was staring at me. I somehow managed to turn it into a story about a personal transformation after a huge personal loss (death of my sister) which was also true. The theme of the meeting had been transforming our business so it fit. So, I get an"audience" with senior executives and I get the spotlight on being half my former size...peachy. I did get compliments on my inspiring story and true listening which seldom happens when a peon like me is in a crowd like that....so I guess one must look on the bright side.

Never click on those weir links. I reported them when I saw them. Alex asked me not to delete posts outright or they would be GONE by n ow..Haha. I am sure he will take care of them soon. Report em if you see this kind of thing.

So the mesh is for hernia repair? I had hernia repair but I wasn't told about mesh or any lifting restrictions once I was past 6-8 weeks.

Deal a meal. ..how can I forget you my little waste of money. I too have no idea if the program was tolerable. .it was like I opened the cards and.lost all excitement.

I would have been outpatient but due to my sleep apnea spend the night with 2 other patients and a nurse at the surgical center.

You ask a complex question but clearly the "reason" is rooted in the physical changes.

I can barely hold myself accountable. .haha.. surgery Dec 2011 now June 2015 and I am within 5 # of goal. I want to be under goal and back to my lowest weight but this ain't bad either. I so understand where you are. .doing awesome but seek the finish line. I took 14 months to lose 150 and had a lull in losses aroung months 8-9 too...

I forgot. ..I tried hypnosis. ..not once, but twice. Wow...what a waste.

I've done most of em...how to choose. Nutrisystem which tasted awful beyond belief. There was the BIG hormone deal where I thought I might die of starvation. Cabbage, the all soup thing. Y o u know the worst diet ever was given to me as a preteen by our family doc. Super restrictive and gross foods like liver. Yuck

You are 3 months post op..... i dont mean to sound like a Debbie Downer but you have a road in front of you before you can declare permanent victory. I mean to say that at 3.5 years post op and I am feeling more and more healed and I didn't have anorexia or bulimia. How long have you been dating him? I don't tell people my entire medical history. I do disclose that I lost ALOT of weight and had reconstruction plastics. My boyfriend never wanted to know more....if he had asked I would have told him. I also haven't talked about the bone infection I had that disbled me for awhile etc....not a secret just not that relevant.

As Julian Michael says "you can eat your way through ANY exercise program" Exercise is very important but as for weight loss...it's all about the food.