CowgirlJane

Writing "hore" on your car is beyond catty over weight loss. Are you sure there isn't some underlying issue or incident? All of us have gone through getting alot of attention post massive weight loss, I had a few intense experiences over it as it was alot of attention that I wasn't used to. (Still get attention but it is just background now don't notice it). You do get people who can be insecure and feel threatened but what you describe seems too much. Years ago I had someone HATE me for no reason I could fathom, reported me to HR etc. They investigated and determined she was mentally unbalanced and had just picked me as the random target.

when I was banded, i kept it a secret. Told my partner, my children and my closest sister. One day I was at a family reunion, walked into my sister's campsite in time to hear her telling everyone there all the terrible things about my lapband. She didn't see me at first, and when she did, changed subject but never awknowledged that break of trust. It was especially painful because I was having severe problems (it was right before i had to have all my fill removed and give up on the band). When I was sleeved, I didn't tell "everyone" but I don't make a secret either... this has worked alot better for me. I assume anyone I tell will likely blab it.

your profile says you have lost 32 pounds - assume that was from the pre surgery diet? I actually GAINED weight right after surgery because they pumped me full of Fluid. It was probably 8 days before i started seeing any "net" losses. I think I lost about 28# total in my first month but I had over 150# to lose. Most people lose quite a bit the first 3 months, but it doesn't happen in a linear fashion... stops and starts and stalls and all.

The band is appealing for many reasons, but based on my personal experience was actually much harder to live with then say the sleeve. So, I suspect that the band being lower risk at time of surgery remains a very compelling story... for patients as well as the surgeons! However, some of us really suffered from the "less serious" complications. For me, the constant getting stuck when eating dense Protein drove me to eat sliders... and caused alot of social embarrassment. I dont think surgeons really understand those sort of "complications" very well. And let's be honest - fills and unfills are an ongoing revenue subscription....

Although now it is dated, i learned so much about dressing from "what not to wear". Learn how to dress flattering for your changed body type (shape is most important factor!) I found while losing weight i liked dresses and skirts becaues they are more forgiving than slacks on fit as I was losing weight. During that, I remembered I LIKE wearing dresses! I stopped because when I was obese, cute shoes killed my feet so I went to slacks 100%. I think you find your style over time. I did shopping trips at stores where they actually help you (rare these days!). Went shopping with a friend. Went shopping alone and took alot of selfie pix. I do think you need to really try on alot of stuff because it is really about how something looks on YOUR body not the hanger.

nobody likes a cpap, and I mean nobody. if you need it, use it. As you lose weight you likely wont need it anymore but in the meantime, it helps you get actual sleep. I personally felt like crap the first weeks and even months post sleeve. It is really hard to stay hydrated and getting back on solid food was a chore...etc etc. I didn't feel truly human again until about 10-12 weeks post op. To some extent, there is a little bit of just "powering through it". Hang in there, it gets easier and you start feeling GREAT as your fitness improves, the weight comes off etc.

You can't do much from your phone. From your laptop, it is pretty clear.

I think that is a very realistic attitude. People assume the further you are out from your surgery the more it is "behind you" but I think maintenance is really just as hard and without the constant "wow you look fabulous" type encouragement. I am hanging in there more because i love how I feel and I just cant bear the idea to be obese again...

You see lots of posts about people who cant stop losing because this is the place where people come to worry. If you look at it statisitcally, it is not a common long term problem. I lost 150# to get to goal and had to fight hard to get the last 40# off. Later, I got a little under goal by working hard. Then, I had some life issues that made me go through a tough time emotionally. I started Unintentionally losing weight but rather than whining about it, I sought medical help and found out why and stopped it before it got serious. I had to take proactive steps to stimulate my appetite. I got pretty trim for my frame/body style and didn't feel very good at that lower weight. Now nearly 4 years post op, I am a couple of pounds over goal and certainly struggle more with maintaining/relosing weight than anything!. I think there are alot of things to worry about, but the likilyhood of you maintaining a weight "skinnier" than you desire is pretty low frankly.

Wow Denise I am glad you are able to hike and did you get to dance too? He sounds like a cool guy - I say why not just let things see if they evolve into something real? Sounds great! I went to a friends party and did a bunch of riding this weekend - forcing myself to do good stuff in life. I did work in a "first date" with someone. In someways he isn't my type (short!) but other ways is my type so I thought, well, why not. We met to listen to some blues music and did a little dancing. He was fun to be with, but an incident happened that upset me (more in hindsight). So, he got very flirty with me and more than hinted we go back to his place. I of course said NO and had a very convenient excuse that i was heading off to a party. I decided it was a good sign that a man is interested in me sexually as I have had experiences of guys who had sex issues (Scott for example) and we never really had a sex life beyond kissing and stuff. So, I think to myself, I would rather know that he actually wants sex, right? so, then I he compliments my hair a few times, which of course I thank him. Then he starts touching me alot, especially my hair and says how much he wants to run his fingers through it. My hair is uber curly, there is no finger running and besides... we are in public, during the daytime, in a town where lots of people know me. Like... go easy there sort of feedback I give. Next thing I know, he gets a goodly hold on my hair and gives it a pretty serious pull like some guys like to do in a sexual context. It didn't hurt so much as it embarrassed me. Alot. So, I didn't make deal out of it, we listened to music a little longer and then I headed off to my party. I told him I would see him again (he asked) but later I asked myself... what? Do I want to see this guy again? So, tell me, am I being a weird prude? I WANT a guy who is passionate and touchy and sexual but sheesh... I want to be seduced not pressured and that is how it felt. Your thoughts? I also met a guy at dancing last week and exchanged numbers. I think he will ask me out - he was nice, into horses, a bit shy/quiet and I have no idea if he is my type. I find it interesting that the less I care about finding someone the more they keep falling in my lap so to speak.

Story of my life...best I can tell the most compatible guys live at least 200 miles away...ha! @@Daveo your mate will arrive. I cannot emphasis enough building the life you want to live will attract the woman you want to live with. Mates don't solve a effing thing and yet a wonderful mate is a gift from God. I think once we find contentment people will be knocking down doors to share it. So find contentment and.Miss Wonderful will show up! I get alot of attention from the opposite gender but I continue to mature emotionally so my views are evolving. I have been in the.ballpark of goal since feb 2013 and still "feel" the emotional etc work I need to attend to. I really recognize how important being true to thine self is key. I have much more brewing on this topic... more to follow.

As an obese person I often"self protected" and as a result was sometimes perceived as standoffish. On of my major changes is to be more vulnerable and open with people. I only shared progress and goals whilel losing on here. Now that I in maintenance I am very open with my friends about regain/eating challenges etc. It is part of my transformation and I have found it to be very positive.

I hope that is nothing serious. I DO tell all docs of my obesity history because my body is changed permently by obesity. Example is that xray did not show arthritis in my hip but it hurt.liked made and got worse with PT. My detailed description of medical history prompted a different series of xray that of course found advanced arthritis in that hip. They called it "central" arthritis which is related to obesity history. Anyway glad you are over it and I often get pissed off that even losing all that weight I STILL have consequences to deal with... so i can relate.

I am so sorry this hurt you so much. I have to agree with lipsticklady and others though..obesity is a medical term. It took me YEARS to admit it applies to me. I feel like you put yourself through emotional turmoil when you give it so much power. Its just a word. I hope you see the humor in the story i will share. In the 1990s a friend was expecting a baby and at nearly 40, that was unusual at the time. She accidentally saw her chart and written in huge letters at the top was the phrase "advanced maternal age". We joked about that for a long time because no woman wants to be called "old" for any reason..haha. Damn doctors.

My 2 young adults sons have been living with me for over a year... and we have recently enterered into an agreement where they contribute... yeah! Okay I shall be crass.. I don't feel like I can have a guest in my home....and yet is my home!

Oh, and you need to update your stats on this site..still shows you in the 200 range.

You rock sister! I still remember the freaking joy at being under 200#. Seriously, it is a MAJOR victory to hit and maintain it!

So in response to the men on this thread... I think women notice details alot more. However,the good news is that looks are NOT most females primary motive in seeking a mate. I think in general it is much more important to be sure that they are verbally communicated with on this AND OH SO MANY other topics. I would not reject a lover over excess skin or scars.... however I would want to know. I have found men that I have dated have an astounding lack of curiosity..they just like the results. Be prepared that women might actually"need" details as we are apparently wired a bit differently.

Ok, sadly I am expert on this topic. I took a lover after losing weight but before plastics. He told me I made WAY too big a deal out of my saggy skin. I guess I was terrified of being rejected after the "big reveal" and so painted a terrible story so he could reject me before.... This man changed my life for the better as he boosted my confidence and made sure I knew that "my value" on the dating market so to speak. He was with me through plastics too..and after my scars faded a bit said "you don't need to worry about them, guys won't notice". I learned alot from him...most guys are either"into" you or not. If they are into you, the details of how you look don't matter...they are sold on the package. I decided that guys that are too critical are too much like women and not my cup of tea anyway. (That is NOT an anti female remark my best pals are all chicks, we just tend to zero in on details more!!!) So my experience since then? Well I haven't had many lovers but I give them the high level...I lost alot of weight and had skin removal surgery. Well before there is any nekkidness...actually I do this on the first date..... I wear sleeveless tops so they can see my arm scars. 100 percent of my small sample I have to tell them about the scars they didnt notice that to me were so obvious. In conclusion, being healthy, confident etc etc counts alot more than saggy skin or plastics scars. I do need to mention I date within my age range..not sure what a 25 year old guy would think!

Sad thing about Bill is it seems that he has brought alot of drama and pain in the ass from day one. Wasnt he the one with the girlfriend who made up being pregnant? Then just the immature reaction to every little thing etc. I have found that people who have alot of drama like that generally are the source. Your life will be better once he is gone. I am not having a happy week but I am doing the things I need to do to get on track. I am literally forcing myself to right now to do things but i know it will pay off. I agreed to let my boys stay living with me and they are now paying rent. I am regretting my decision right now. Not because they do anything wrong, but i just don't want to be responsible for so many people. I like having them here, but I also feel like I want a life of my own. Lets be honest, I want to feel like I can have a boyfriend over and of course I don't do that! Sorry I am so pissy lately, it is how I am feeling.

I think you are mistaken that most people have lost 100# by six months. I worked my ass off...followed program very closely and worked out daily and I didn't make 100# in six months. Some people lose very rapidly and that is what you remember but I doubt its most. It took me 14months to lose 150# and that was considered fast and alot (got to normal weight) by my surgeon. However, I take seriously the concern you raise. When you have alot to lose you do want to take maximum advantage of the "honeymoon" period. I think you should track your food and activity, check you are following your program well and not letting certain foods sneak in. I had a big slow down about 7-8 months post op because I was eating too many Protein bars.

I want to suggest that you consider counseling. Now, I hate counseling...haha... so i make this recommendation because what i hear is genuine love and concern for your husband. What I fear is that over time... say, the next 2 years, this turns into a whole lot of other emotions.

Once again, no consolation to offer - but I have two sons. My oldest is adopted, my youngest is natural born. I would die for either of them, and at times I want to wring both/either of their necks. While I definately have more traits in common with my natural born child, I have seen that kind of diversity in "all natural born" families. I often feel that when I offer my perspective of old age it is taken as judgment and that isn't what I mean at all. what i mean to share from life at a more mature stage is that perspectives - there are many dreams that seem so important and then in hindsight... I had a really bad day on the anxiety front today. dammit

To add to this... alot of the skinny bitches are actually not very happy either...

When i had surgery the Protein target was 60 g plus. My practice has updated it to be 80-100grams based on updated experience/evidence. Even all these years out, I have a hard time hitting 80-100 grams without the premier Protein drinks. I thought i was doing okay until I tracked a few days and even with protein first, I was still in the range of 60 or so. I thought the OP was asking for food suggestions to make the protein goals - maybe I misunderstood.