CowgirlJane

The only man I became close enough to share my sleeve story with was fine with it/didn't really want to hear about it. He has kind of a life view that a person's past is just that and he was more concerned with the "now". I realize that WLS is a big deal, but I am far enough out that I eat the normal, small portions that keep middle aged women trim. What I mean is that the fact that i order an appetizer for a meal doesn't surprise anybody and i am never questioned about it. I don't feel that I owe my life story to someone unless i am getting serious with them... which for me is MONTHS not a few dates. My personal experience/opinion is that I would NOT date while losing weight. Here is my rationale, I went through ALOT of changes during that time. Maybe not everyone has this experience, but I discovered that my obesity was about alot of things, not just food. In my post sleeve world i discovered my athletic self, my confident self, my loves to dance self, my girlie girl self PLUS getting even more serious about my horsey loving, fast riding tomgirl self. I feel like it would have been a disservice to ME and probably the guy to have gotten involved with someone before I discovered those things about myself.

John sounds cool...just go easy is my advice. With your surgery coming up it is easy to get over involved too soon. I finally got medical assistance for my "dry" vaja issues. I started yesterday, supposed to take 2 weeks but I already feel better. Hope i don't get side effects. If i can make it 3 months with the hormone ring ... estring. .. then I will shift to once or twice a week inserts and hopefully can maintain. So far, I am liking feeling like 32 year old " down there"

I am probably one of the "over sharers " but it has been part of my internal transformation to let down walls... This has nothing to do with the OP question. I think you do need to protect yourself from the unsupportive people that first year or two....

I was being pushed to rny because I failed at band and was high BMI. I just couldn't get over my fears so I cancelled. I found a surgeon who felt I would do well with sleeve and that was nearly 4 years ago and I have done awesome! Difference is my reflux was 100 percent band induced. My views have really changed over the last few years. I love my sleeve BUT what I really love is being normal sized with minimal nasty side effects - if my sleeve ever needs fixing I would definitely consider RNY now. It sounds like rny is a better path for you due to the reflux. I would keep an open mind but you do need to research and be comfortable with it as a choice.

Oh and the main reason for feeling weak is dehydration. Also, could electrolytes or even salt intake be low? Either way, I don't think rice is an ideal food (well ever) this early. Do talk to your NUT or surgeon's office as they may have advice.

I would NOT try it yet. Rice tends to swell and do you want to risk anything just 2 weeks post op? Focus on meeting protein and hydration goals....there is plenty of time for other foods later. It's hard and boring to do the pre and post op diet but so worth it - hang in there!

I will be 4 years from my band to sleeve revision at end of this year. I have done well, small regain but still very close to goal. No complications.

I don't mean to be discouraging. I have NEVER been able to maintain a significant weight loss for any length of time - but post sleeve I lost almost 170# and have kept most of it off quite well. I am still in single digit clothing etc.... I am just saying that it is quite easy to regain and you must approach with the mindset that this is a tool to use, but it is your committment to your results that keeps you successful. The sleeve at first seems like magic (For most people they lose weight pretty easily at first) but if you don't accept permanent changes into your life, you risk regain... even without eating huge quantities.

4 years out this December and I CAN eat anything at all. I choose not to because I work at maintenance...

I informed my family by email AFTER the fact and respectfully asked for either support or silence. The silent ones waited a year or two..but became supporters after they saw how much better my life is. I just didn't want negativity since I was so scared preop and early months post op.

@@toler48 I can see why you might assume that regain is impossible but let me tell you, i don't eat very much and I am about 10# over goal. You don't need to eat all day long, you just need to have a few hundred extra calories a day to regain.

I reluctantly agreed to meet a man for a beverage (feeling jaded lately not too into dating at the moment) and we hit it off pretty well so we went to a daytime music festival that was happening right in that small town he lives in/I go to alot. We had a good time, did a little swing dancing etc. He tried to talk me into going back to his apartment, an invitation i declined but hey, can't fault a guy for trying right? He was being very flirty which culiminated in pulling my hair... lets just say in a way that seemed very intimate. Reminder - middle of the day, out in public at a music festival in a small town where i am well known/see people i know all the time. I felt embarrassed and actually a bit appalled. I am a physical person interested in an intimate relationship eventually, so I don't want to rule out someone just because he is interested in sex, but I felt anxiety when he texted me asking for a second date and I haven't decided what to do. So,I am asking for opinion of other singles... am I being a weird prude?

@@ezbeinggreen your comments are very valid, but I am a little further down the road. I went through the "everybody is looking at me and it's weird" phase. I went through the whole mysterious world of understanding how I am seen by others. I have no problem saying "no" and setting boundaries, I was just very puzzled by this interaction. The only reason i even gave it all a second thought was because I have had the unfortunate experience of entering into a "relationship' with someone who is no longer interested in physical intimacy (likely for emotional reasons I guess) and don't really want to repeat that so I want to be sure I don't rule someone out just because they are still interested in it. Does not mean I intend to "hook up" as seems to be implied on this thread - that just is not my style. On another note, I went to a dance lesson at a different place last night. It is kind of awesome that my friend and I got swooped up by experienced partners right away so we had a fun and great lesson! My "partner" knows lots of dances and after our 2 step class he showed me waltz and chacha basics too. He is at that place 3 nights a week and likes dancing with lots of ladies so I now have a connection there.

I don't mean to be a nitpicker, but I want to be sure that newbies researching get accurate information. When I was researching the sleeve in 2011 it was clear even then that there are some long term complications associated with the sleeve. #1 is reflux/GERD. in fact, it seems to peak about 3-6 years post op - I recall reading that about 30% are impacted. Most people can manage it well though... a few have to revise to bypass because it is so bad. I had to ask myself if I was willing to risk this. #2 regain. This is a risk of all WLS and the sleeve has very comparable stats to the bypass, but it is still a long term "risk" #3 Less common, but real problems like: ulcers and other "problems of the stomach". This seems fairly uncommon, but there is a person on this forum who developed a "leak" a year or more post op from an ulcer. Reactive hypoglycemia, vit B deficiencies and other very uncommon type problems can show up. I don't say any of that to scare people - just go in with your eyes open. I, like most sleevers, have no complications and am very happy with my choice, but there are long term concerns to be aware.

I think the lack of real food is going to bite you in the butt later. This is the time to lay the foundation for later eating habits and that means eating real food too (as you know)! It is easy to feel like it isn't worth the trouble since I am guessing you are at that stage of ZERO appetite. The question is, when that appetite returns, will you be eating chicken, fish,, turkey etc and veggies or will you be grabbing sliders? Truth is that Protein bars can sort of become sliders for people - tend to go down easy and be very carb heavy even with all that protein in them. Did your doc/surgeon give you any guidance as to meal content/timing? My NUT had us eat FIVE mini meals a day. She didn't call them 2 Snacks and 3 meals - they are all mini meals because they follow the same exact pattern, small portions of protein, veggies and if still hungry fruit and if still hungry other carbs. The meals are spaced "about" 3 hours apart. i wound up modifying to 4 minimeals a day but same principle. It was hard working in my Water with that eating schedule - it became like a job to schedule in water. There are phone apps to remind you if something like that would help. I also hated plain water my first year post op so did the crystal light or iced herbal teas type thing. Have you tried doing something to make water more appealing? You are doing well, and you are taking good advantage of this "window" of low appetite but just need to keep moving on and building up skills that will help you in the long run. I also think you will want to be exercising when your weight loss slows down, but I figure fix one thing at a time. I would start with the real food thing.

Someone I work with took her own life this weekend. It really is very upsetting and seems so senseless. Many of us are deeply impacted by this.

I actually don't know what to think. I am 51, and have twice entered into a dating/let's see if we might grow a relationship with men no longer interested in sex. It was disappointing to say the least. As a self reflective person I have asked the question "what am I doing to contribute to attract this situation?" Like do I select for men who have many good attributes but not necessarily seeking this in a relationship? I am trying to not repeat that experience but at the same time I am not a hookup kinda person. This sounds really snotty but it is the truth..if I wanted just a hookup, I have plenty of options in the much younger, fit and hot crowd (the whole MILF thing) and I wouldn't need to deal with the online dumbness. I actually want to date one person with the hopes that it turns into a relationship with all benefits so that is why I seek my own age, compatible interests, reasonable location etc. Anyway, I think I will accept, give it another chance....and if it comes up find a way to address where my mind and feelings are on the topic and let the chips fall where they may.

Boot cut are popular. .. but around here many still wear skinnies. I think boot cuts make me look heavier because I have short but slim legs. With boot cut I have short not slim legs. My solution. ..skirts! Just Above the knee as Tim Gunn says the length most flattering for nearly every body type

I am sorry for this news - I too would be angry that this was missed! I did not realize that liver biopsies were routine with WLS. I understood that it is routine to send any "removed body parts" like our stomachs for pathology tests... just in case. My prayers for the best outcomes and a full recovery soon!

I had that same concern worry - as a revision from band patient I really thought about this! What I have to honestly say is that even in 2001 there were "early warning signs" that all was not well with the band. I lived in Europe where the band was already being done alot and while I didn't have any local support, I did belong to a yahoo group. My first clue was that there was a general list and then there was a "secret" list where the veterans posted. Once i hit the one year mark, with very limited success and was permitted in the veterans area I came to realize how many people where having complications and very commonly not losing as much weight as they wanted. As most people do pretty well at first with the band - the complications tend to increase over time, the general forum gave a very narrow view of the band experience. There was also a great deal of shaming on that particular website. I had alot of trouble with vomiting more than I should have but there was a culture of blaming/shaming the patient so I never really got the counseling/advice/help I needed to manage the band better. At that time the stock answer "can't help you if you aren't compliant". I would be thinking "compliant with what? what can I eat that won't get stuck and make me vomit and embarrased?" but instead would keep my mouth shut and try to do better - without really knowing "how to do better" At that time, there was less understanding about managing the right level of fill and lots of people had to travel for fills/unfills at great cost, including me, and so often lived with too tight of bands which led to oh so many problems. Well, in truth, my first first first clue should have been pre-op was when my surgeon had me sign a document acknowledging that the band should be considered temporary and would most likely require removal with risk of significant weight gain. I had put on such rose colored glasses I didn't even remember signing that until I went through my paperwork in preparing for my revision to sleeve. With the sleeve, I was looking for all the bad things - and surely found them (risk of leaks, etc etc) - but so far (will be 4 years in Dec) things have worked out as expected, or really better than expected and I feel like more was understood/ widely known about the sleeve in 2011 than was generally acknowledged about the band in 2001.

I have a friend who is taller then me, and I outweigh her by 40# - and i am at goal. I sometimes feel sad - like why am I still so heavy? Why can't I be a skinny girl? Well, the answer is we have very different body types. I am muscular, big boned and after a lifteime of obesity just have more "weight" permanently. She is actually frail, gets tired faster then me and I am pretty sure i'd kick her butt at arm wrestling. I guess it is so tempting to want what others have because she is always jealous of #1 my hair and #2 my outgoing nature. I have to say that as much as I wish i were skinny like her, I guess as a package I like me just fine so I won't wish for a "trading places" - ha!

Like many, i had severe doubts preop. In fact, I spent a miserable year wrestling with the decision to revise from my failed band to the sleeve. I was so sure I would fail... AGAIN. I also feared having horrible complications (like I did with the band) only in the case of the sleeve, removal is not an solution. I was scared I was sentencing myself to a life of obese hell. Turns out to have been an amazingly good decision and thankfully no horrible complications. In fact, a sleevie stomach feels like a normal/why didn't I have this stomach all along type thing. I will be 4 years from my sleeve in Dec this year and I feel like I saved my life with this decision! When I read your original post and then this reply, I was thinking your deeper fear is of changing into a person you don't recognize/want to be? I am not sure, but if that is the case, I strongly recommend DEALING with those feelings not pushing them away. My reasoning is that it is pretty easy to lose weight the first 6-18 months, the "honeymoon" period. You are light enough you are even quite likely to make it to goal before having to deal with this.... but it is very easy to self sabatoge once your appetite and eating capacity "stablize" at your new normal. Yes, it is NORMAL for us to be able to eat more and often to have desire to eat more a few years out. If you have emotional doubts about it, might make that more complex. i have NO emotional doubts and I work pretty hard at maintenance at this point. I was a morbidly obese person for a long time and my body definately wants to return to that state due to the "disease process" and so I have to stay focused even now to stay trim. Only you can answer this - no need to reply to me, but I think listening to that inner voice and deciding if it is a real concern or just normal nerves is important.

I agree with talking to your surgeon. I only threw up with the sleeve from eating too fast - had a few times and then learned THAT lesson. I did not experience what you describe so I would ask him/her - maybe it is normal but i don't think it is "typical".

I assume your concern is about adequate nutrition intake? Several on here have gone on to have healthy successful pregnancies and had no problem eating enough to gain baby weight, successfully nurse etc. I didn't go through chemo, but I got sick last year and lost my appetite. It is incredible how quickly I lost weight (not in a good way). I had to proactively take steps to trigger my appetite. Of course now, I wish I didn't have an appetite..haha... but I am fit"ish" and healthy weight - almost 4 years from surgery. I don't think "quantity" of food intake is a problem after about the 2 -3 year mark but i do suspect we are more at risk of appetite loss. My doctor said that the thing about WLS patients is that there is less relilesnce due to the surgery, so the key is to not let problems like loss of appetite linger or go on too long - manage it aggressively to keep the health up.

Many years ago I lost 85# on weight watchers. My start weight was 332# and at 5'5" I was very big and certainly no "threat" to anyone before, during or after my weight loss. My boss was a food pusher and always brought candy, donuts, treats for the whole team. We had "words" over the fact that she insisted on using the file cabinets right outside my office (line sight view from my desk) as the candy station. All day long I watched people stop, unwrap a chocolate and eat it. Or open the donut box and dive for a good one. It drove me insane. When i asked her to move it her reaction was I just needed to "get over it". She did eventually move it but it actually caused a small riff in our relationship. BTW, she was about 100# overweight - not as big as me, but obese. I finally got her to move that bowl and to this day I don't understand why #1 she feels so compelled to push food and #2 why the location of the bowl mattered. I was literally fighting for my life as I could barely move at that size - again that clearly had nothing to do with competition over male attention. Some people are just odd... or have motives that I really don't understand. What I will say is that people who are teased, belittled or "shamed" as part of their weight loss should consider it as harrassment and treat it as such. I think it creates a terribly uncomfortable workplace.