CowgirlJane

Ha... you guys are funny. My dad's nickname for me was "barrel" Nice huh? Anyway, I was your classic apple pre op... now I am a freaking warrior princess - that title seems to be missing from the chart.

Words don't do justice to how happy I am for you. Thank you for sharing this incredible journey with all of us!!!

I don't worry about fats either - I eat very atkins like too, but I bet it is less than many people consume since I don't eat deep fried, fast food, candy bars etc.

@@globetrotter Welcome home. How was the trip? What did you see? Did you and your mom get quality time together? I hope you did get to taste some of the wonderful food there.. to me it is part of the ITalian experience although you have to watch the portions for sure!

@@BigViffer that is quite a story. It leads me to believe you are the only hetro male she had met in ages! I actually cannot relate at all to the people that jump in so fast - I mean, you just find out someone is from Indiana and not gay and you are hearing wedding bells? ha How did she know what other deep dark secrets you might be holding?

I have been called both (perhaps even in the same post!) 1. Bully and 2. I sugar coat too much Whatever. I try to share my experiences, sometimes it helps people, sometimes it doesn't. Doesn't mean I am correct or that my experiences translate directly to someone else. Maybe at times we can be too terse in our replies which can lead to hurt feelings etc.

A tangent on this discussion that came up in my mind is that this stuff always talks about bariatric surgery. AS though the surgery itself causes "emotional health" issues. As we all know, the surgery is a tool - and plenty of people regain... so it seems like what they should study is "massive weight loss" and emotional impacts. What I would like to know is long term studies on longevity post bariatric surgery. Specifically, do people who have WLS live longer than those who remain obese (and don't have WLS). That physical change seems like a very relevant study topic and I am not sure there are conclusive studies on it. My personal belief is that not abusing food/not being obese can cause underlying emotional health issues to be become more obvious/acute. Speaking for myself, I am much healthier both physically and mentally then I was before. I probably complain more now..ha... because my expectations are higher!

When i responded to this thread, it wasn't "marked" as mens room. I am not sure if it is due to the device I was using (I have a smart phone, kindle and laptop) or a system glitch. I am on my laptop now and it is clear but at the time i couldn't tell. I thought about going back and deleting it, but I dunno that any lives have been lost due to my post...

I have no strictures or other limits on food. I get hungry! Cereal and bagels are a nightmare for me because they make me hungry with "rebound" hunger from the carb. If it doesn't impact you that way, then maybe the carb heavy meals are not a problem. Seems like you are maintaining well. breakfast: I often have a premier Protein or Egg Beaters and a low fat sausage. If i get fancy, there is a veggie/sausage/egg beater omelette. I would wind up eating half for breakfast and the other half for lunch Lunch: lately I seem to be missing lunch often. Not such a great idea... Some of my favorites: -left overs from breakfast -salmon patty served over salad with a little blue cheese -sandwich meat and cheese in a lettuce wrap Dinner: protein and veggies and salad snacks: I try to not eat before bed, but if i do it is a Protein Drink (good - better than snacky food!) or Protein Bar (not so good) I might also have a yogurt, leftovers from dinner etc.

Interesting insights. I attach with people, but slowly. I really think there is something to this whole theory because it explains alot of things - like why I don't fall in love very easily as just an example. Cathy, http://5daypouchtest.com/ this is the plan I "follow". I put that word in quotes because being a vegetrian, I improvise a bit. As you see, there are a few recipes that don't look like "diet" fair at all. fatty, creamy, Soups that resemble stews included in the first two days... I make something like that... I don't formally count calories while doing this... I make mushroom soups, spit pea, bean soups, and even a fake meat and potato stew this time... I also include Protein drinks for breakfast. Even though it is not very low carbs, it is lower than what I normally eat, and I find I jump over the carb monster in the first two days, then I just eat more firm Proteins as the days go on. I can try and try to get back on a plan to get the loss going again, and I have to say, this plan gets that going for me.... I like it. When I stop eating this way, I will gain the weight back.... but Im going at it with the intent to keep more of the principles in place. I have lost 7 pounds in the last week, my pants are looser (hurrah) I have lost quite a bit of my head hunger, and find myself wanting to eat because I actually need to.... I have not been strict about it... I did make chocolate (gluten and sugar free) mug cakes the other day that were delish... and drank a half of a Margarita and some champagne last night at a big party at the local Museum, and still lost a half a pound this morning (I did dance for almost 3 hours...). We have had no bread in the house this week...I say its worth a try, and doesnt have to be too strict... eat the hardy fair, it helps keep you feeling satisfied. Sheryl... I went through lots of therapy... some conventional and some not... My issue was pinned to being born premature, and put into an incubatorfor 10 days. My mom was told that I would not survive by the Doc... she was afraid to bond with me, and I was left mostly to the nurses. I "remember" through hypnosis, the cold hands and rubber gloves.... feeling like I really wanted to live when I was born, then was confronted with this cold and sterile environment.... My mother and father loved me very much, but I was just a little detached with them. I had the idea that they didn't want me to be warm and huggie... Mom used to tell me that I didn't hold my hands up to be picked up by her...which made her feel like she wasnt wanted by me, that was not true, but I didn't know that. I still have some insecurity about being able to be friends with people... just like with my family, I love and feel attached, but do not reach out readily. I don't want to be a bother.... I have grown out of this quite a bit, and reach out more... but the drop of insecurity is still there....drugging myself with food was filling that insecurity for sure... and still rears its ugly head. I can almost always trace my impulse eating to emotions.

Had an awful day yesterday...but its over. Today will be better. I saw 159 on the scale this morning! Very very close to goal again! I still want to get under 150, but this is feeling good.

Well, I am the inverted triangle though I much prefer the athletic spin. I too wear the low rise, with a belt. All pants have a way of shimmying down. My gfriend told me once she was gonna LAUGH if my pants fell off in public. I have an 8-9 " difference from waist to hips bit my waist is WAY up there so it doesn't help with jeans fitting.

This sounds really really awful.... but I wish there were enough hot guys in my age range to warrant a crazy hot chart. Sigh

There is a whole world out there#

Ok another tip...this is hard to describe. .. I am a business woman and it has happened over and over again when a guy realizes I am conversant in ROI, marketing plans, managing teams etc...they get all excited and drive the conversation down the business road. 100% of the time I don't want a second meeting. I think I am compatible with that kind of man...but as the saying goes "I know I am smart, tell me I am beautiful" I am being silly but the basic point is when I leave a "date" how I FEEL is the key. If i feel like I have been to a business meeting. ..eh...not so much.

I concur with everything Bellabloom said. May I add...eye contact? Look at her like you want to be with her. There is a fine line between looking at me like a slab of beef that would be tasty (which I don't find too flattering) and looking at me like you are interested in me. Treat her like she matters. It sounds so basic, but you would be astounded how many don't do basic things like that. Different women are attracted to different things but universally people want to feel like they are of interest to you. They want to feel respected. I have a small evil streak...I am a project manager which means I am tough and am somewhat adept at interacting. I actually had a date admit to me that his ex broke up with him over several issues. .lousy sex being one of them. Can you imagine someone admitting that? It was about date 3 and honestly I didn't ask..he just told. my point is simply that when people are checking you out they notice little stuff Be yourself, be genuine, but remember that most women want very much to be desired but in a gentlemanly way. Omg...this reminds me of yet ANOTHER first date horror story. It is hard to believe but true. About 5 minutes into our initial meeting this dude pulls out "personality " cards. Like a deck of cards. I work in corporate America so I was very very familiar with this. Of course I lied on his game cuz NO WAY I am doing second date with someone who carries a deck of cards like that! Ok,

Love it!!!

Good question and I can argue both sides of this one. For me, right now, anything more than 30-45 minutes apart is a "no go" because I eventually want someone to be a meaningful part of my life. My best girfriend lives 45 min away and we often meet somewhere between us. She has only been to my home a few times. I know in my heart that I would not prefer that in a serious relationship.

No reason to get involved with a jerk or addict for any reason at all. Not all of us want to marry again, not all of us want to permanently give up physical intimacy. I think it is good input, and i hear what you are saying but my real point is that being very clear on our own needs/wants/desires and proceeding with caution however and whatever you decide. Life is full of risks, and relationships are risky business no doubt. Even so, no reason to knowingly invite bad juju into our lives.

It is an interesting topic. I suspect that you are very right that there is a deep emotional component for some of us. Perhaps it is timing, support structures around you etc. When i was 22, I lost 60# to becomes slim and attractive. I nearly lost my mind.... i had no idea how deeply it would impact me emotionally. I regained that weight lickedy split, i think as a survival mecanism. I am more mature, clearer on myself as a person, and so was able to come up with much healthier coping mecanisms this time around! I can imagine a person who has severe issues/depression just not being able to handle the loss of food for comfort and the fatsuit shield. I am pretty much over it now, but it shocked me to learn how much I have leaned on it over the years. I haven't seen a counselor in a while but decided to go back last week. She said a few things that really hit home... one of them was this "I admire how you have left behind your food addiction and are now working on the real things that need to be faced." I am not sure I buy into food addiction, but I certainly had very disordered eating and used food to soothe and comfort myself. I hid my true self behind the fatshield in many ways that I didn't even recognize at the time.

In the early days/weeks many of us could not reach Protein goals - staying hydrated is TOP priority in that time frame. Premier Protein with the 30g of protein is a great choice to help get there. I was given 60g as the protein goal, but based on new research my practice now suggests 80g. I had a dietician (friend) tell me that due to my musclular build she thought I should aim for 80g too. Anyway, it takes awhile to get there, it is very helpful to have a guide to cover the stages. Most of us started on Clear liquids, then full liquids, then mushy, then more solid (slowly) and then no restriction except good eating practices.

There are a couple of variables here. There are a few who set very low goals - may be just right for their body types or may be completely unrealistic to maintain - how can we tell from afar? Lets be honest, if you start out at 500# you are unlikely to get down to 115# and maintain it in a healthy way, right? I personally believe that people that acheive "goal" are more likely to maintain in a healthy range even if they bounce up a bit from their lowest. Statistically, MOST people bounce up a little around year 2-3. AS long as it is "a little" I personally think they are still amazing successes. I base my opinion on my previous experiences (banded) and on what the NUT told me. She felt that when people acheive a weight that is desirable to them, they are much more likely to "fight" to hang onto it. I personally believe that skin removal helped me too - I am very motivated to maintain my results. I am 51, and this is the first time in my entire life I have maintained massive weight loss for multiple years and I partially credit it to getting to a "normal" size and then the skin removal. I feel like I joined a club I don't want to be kicked out of - the club of feeling normal.

I am not a match member, so the link didn't work for me. I saved some of the text of previous profiles, and I worked hard to paint the right tone to be clear without being too detailed - but as I indicated elsewhere, it is the photos more than the text it seems... I think I could write "crazy mean woman who will ruin your life" and still get the same number of emails from the ridiculous as long as my photos were good - ha!

I was banded in March 2001, just before it was approved in the usa. I was living in Germany at the time where it had been common for awhle by then. I had it removed in Sept 2011, so just over 10 years. I did have alot of complications and had to have all Fluid removed in 2003. I should have had the band removed then too but i was just too... discouraged and disappointed. I didn't get good support and guidance but also I think the bands were tighter/smaller then because I had alot of issues with reflux, vomiting etc even with the fluid removed. I am glad they are better now.

I have done online dating, on and off (more off than on) for awhile. I dont have stats on how many messages I ignore. I am a very polite person so if the contact is in the realm of reason, I used to try to respond in a polite way. However, if I have a public profile, with photos, I am simply overwhelmed with emails and messages. It makes it very difficult to "find" the good ones in the flood of ridiculousness. I seriously get alot of messages from men way way older and way way way younger.... and the ones located a long ways away... the unemployed, disabled, still married, I can go on and on. It does no good to specify anything in my profile, because those types just look at the photos and email away. While I didnt find the love of my life, the quality of men I met improved drastically (way fewer coffee dates that went no where etc) when I initiated contact while "in hiding". My way of doing that was very lowkey.. like, read my profile, if you are interested message me kind of thing and I got a very high response rate to those little messages i would throw out - like very close to 100% because I picked men that would be a good potential match based on their profile info, location etc and not just the photos. But this is why when I am ready to dive in again it will be eharmony or maybe just in real life or something different... this "numbers game" doesn't appeal to me too much.