CowgirlJane

I miss you all. Wish all posted more but I know life interferes. My ex took old dog Boston for the weekend and really understands it is time. Old sweetie is moving around pretty good (last hurrah) but not keeping anything down. Appointment us Monday. I have been the one pushing for it...knowing it is time and yet devastated the time is here.

So glad for you! Btw, I have a son in his 20s who weighs less than me (dammit) at 140 and around 5'9" and he has sleep apnea. Sometimes it is just your anatomy. I am grateful mine went away with massive weight loss...but either way decent sleep is so critical!

I am independent and take complete responsibility for stuff... however at some point I had to acknowledge that "Jane's plan" is what got.me over 300#. It took some swallowing pride and admitting how bad fhings were for me to accept the whole program from A to Z..but I did and it worked. I picked one of the best practices in my area and committed 110% and found success.

Lots of us couldn't eat 4 oz at 18 days....pretty normal. My suggestion is to sip sip sip on water all day. Hang in there!

I wrote letters to my sons and ex....my surgery was December 11 2011 and I gave them to them at Christmas! By then survival seemed probable..ha. In October 2013 I had major plastics which was big deal surgery. I wrote letters to my sons and others. My friend who went with me to Mexico dumped coffee all over them while I was under the knife. Joke was then I HAD to be fine since the letters were gonners!

@@bellabloom your profile says you are bypass but you posted in the sleeve forum. Sleevers are not supposed to experience dumping, but I have had a few incidents of "something" so my advice still stands! I am nearly 4 years out now and it doesn't seem to happen anymore.

I suffered through alot of aches and pains as i was losing. I was told that it is a big adjustment... balance and everything is different when you used to be a very round apple and turning into a peach (or whatever is cuter than an apple!). Anyway, I think it is normal and I would ask for surgeon advice on pain reliever. I tend to just deal with it. I do have some sad news to share, that hopefully doesn't apply to you. About 2 years after getting to goal I started having persistant right hip pain. Bottom line, arthritis from all those years obese. I will need a replacement in 3-5 years, but in the meantime staying active and enjoying life... with the help of joint injections!

Avoid dairy and sugar... at a least for awhile. Journal your consumption so you can pinpoint the triggers. My protein drink of choice is chocolate premier and yet it sometimes does not agree with me. When that happens I have to take a 2-3 month break and then I can tolerate it again . Weird.

Congrats! I am not sure there is a magical formula, but let me tell you what i think! Women want to meet at a coffee shop so they feel safe, have an excuse to get outta town fast if you turn out to be totally different than what you claimed... etc. You would be amazed at the lying that goes on via online dating (lies about age, photos, height, size, work type, history - you name it). The downside of a coffee date is that it is not very condusive to kicking off that attraction/desire sort of feelings... I dunno why... but i love coffee and coffee dates are not my favorite as i never get a sense about people so I always prefer if we can take a walk or something after the coffee if there is any interest at all. anyway, it doesn't matter if you like coffee - order tea or a smoothie or a hot chocolate... but order something so she doesn't feel awkard drinking her coffee alone! Offer to pay for her coffee... or rather, just pay for it. It is a small thing, but can make a difference on that initial meeting. When you talk, listen to her. Watch her eyes and expression. Ask questions without grilling her/inteviewing. Be open about yourself, but, no need to share your whole life history in 20 minutes. Be yourself but don't let nerves make you appear disinterested OR over eager. Just relax and see if you guys feel good around each other. Think in terms of making a new friend - how would you want to be treated? If it is negative, don't see her again... if it is positive or even neutral i strongly suggest asking for a second date because again, I think it is very hard to get a true sense of someone (especially if people are nervous!) over a 20 minute coffee date. If things go well and the setting/weather seems appropriate, how about ask her if she wants to go for a short walk or stroll after the coffee? If that doesn't feel right, when you are parting, tell her you would like to see her again - be bold, ask her if she'd like to go on a date. The worst that can happen is she says no. As a woman, this is always awkward, but if I am interested in someone, I say something like "I'd like to talk to you again" and most of the time that results in the man asking me out. Alot of guys are too shy/low confidence and will ask me out by email or text later. That is okay, and probably more comfortable for many many people. I am super outgoing and have kinda learned that i don't mesh too well with shy/low confidence men so they tend to lose points with me on that one. It isn't that important though - the most important thing is BE YOURSELF and try to enjoy the experience! Good luck!

You are doing so great! I went through a period of time when I lived alone while losing weight. Some things, like candy, were alot easier! once again, my grown sons are now my roommates. It is hard sometimes because they bring home ice cream, candy, bread, Cereal and other temptations. They are pretty good about hiding candy in their rooms - they know I don't want to eat it, but if it is in front of me..I might. Ice cream makes me sick to my stomach, but, who knows, I still might eat it. They are good about buying very small portions so i don't have that dang 1/2 gallon calling my name for like a month. I can resist for a week... but those larger containers sit there and I see them so many times ... I might just crack and dig in. The older kid brought home two huge huge containers of pastries earlier this week. He is a string bean and ate most of it. I ate half a danish and realized this isn't what I want, so tossed the remaining few. Nobody complains. We seem to have an "understanding" that if they bring in junk food and place it right there on the counter... I might 1) ignore it 2) toss it or 3) eat it. never know - risky business... better to not bring it home! The real bear are the cereal, bread and stuff normal people should eat in healthy portions but had become my "healthy snacks" and contributed to my obesity. They should be able to have that in the house and I am doing better and better about not snacking on bread or cereal just because it is there. I am nearly 4 years post op and finally feel like I can walk buy Life Cereal and milk without the need to eat it. Damn you Mikey! Kids hate everything but I apparently LIKE everything! You are doing so great! I went through a period of time when I lived alone while losing weight. Some things, like candy, were alot easier! once again, my grown sons are now my roommates. It is hard sometimes because they bring home ice cream, candy, bread, cereal and other temptations. They are pretty good about hiding candy in their rooms - they know I don't want to eat it, but if it is in front of me..I might. Ice cream makes me sick to my stomach, but, who knows, I still might eat it. They are good about buying very small portions so i don't have that dang 1/2 gallon calling my name for like a month. I can resist for a week... but those larger containers sit there and I see them so many times ... I might just crack and dig in. The older kid brought home two huge huge containers of pastries earlier this week. He is a string bean and ate most of it. I ate half a danish and realized this isn't what I want, so tossed the remaining few. Nobody complains. We seem to have an "understanding" that if they bring in junk food and place it right there on the counter... I might 1) ignore it 2) toss it or 3) eat it. never know - risky business... better to not bring it home! The real bear are the cereal, bread and stuff normal people should eat in healthy portions but had become my "healthy snacks" and contributed to my obesity. They should be able to have that in the house and I am doing better and better about not snacking on bread or cereal just because it is there. I am nearly 4 years post op and finally feel like I can walk buy Life Cereal and milk without the need to eat it. Damn you Mikey! Kids hate everything but I apparently LIKE everything! You are doing so great! I went through a period of time when I lived alone while losing weight. Some things, like candy, were alot easier! once again, my grown sons are now my roommates. It is hard sometimes because they bring home ice cream, candy, bread, cereal and other temptations. They are pretty good about hiding candy in their rooms - they know I don't want to eat it, but if it is in front of me..I might. Ice cream makes me sick to my stomach, but, who knows, I still might eat it. They are good about buying very small portions so i don't have that dang 1/2 gallon calling my name for like a month. I can resist for a week... but those larger containers sit there and I see them so many times ... I might just crack and dig in. The older kid brought home two huge huge containers of pastries earlier this week. He is a string bean and ate most of it. I ate half a danish and realized this isn't what I want, so tossed the remaining few. Nobody complains. We seem to have an "understanding" that if they bring in junk food and place it right there on the counter... I might 1) ignore it 2) toss it or 3) eat it. never know - risky business... better to not bring it home! The real bear are the cereal, bread and stuff normal people should eat in healthy portions but had become my "healthy snacks" and contributed to my obesity. They should be able to have that in the house and I am doing better and better about not snacking on bread or cereal just because it is there. I am nearly 4 years post op and finally feel like I can walk buy Life Cereal and milk without the need to eat it. Damn you Mikey! Kids hate everything but I apparently LIKE everything!

Protein drinks are a way to get a lot of protein in with very low carbs and moderate calories. Back when I was banded, I was not informed of the benefits of a high protein/moderate carb diet and did not use Protein Drinks. There are still surgeons who don't want you to drink your calories. I dunno, I am maintaining a pretty massive weight loss (half my starting body weight) and I still have 1/2 or 1 premier Protein Drink daily... usually in my coffee plus a few sips and I call it Breakfast. I am 4 years band to sleeve revision. I am not wild about ANY of them. The ones I could tolerate where premier chocolate or strawberry. The vanilla is vile but works as a base for a smoothie or a fake latte. For ones that start as a powder, I found the nectar Syntrax the only ones i could BEAR to drink. My my main complaint is they weren't very "satiating" as a person with a mature sleeve. They have lots of crazy flavors - the best ones in my opinion was the vanilla bean and I think the chocolate was okay. I don't use it anymore but I did during the weight loss phase. The best way to try the syntrax product is get their sample pack. It used to be you could get it for the price of shipping which was a great way to try before you buy. I recommend calling the company and asking. I bought my big jug powder of the vanilla bean from Amazon as that was cheapest at the time.

Happy for you! And years down the road you will be grateful for the amazing weight loss and paying the price of a little hairloss wont sting so bad.

Wow. I am sure glad I take the time to answer newbie questions... I mean really - what could those of us that have been sleeved for YEARS possibly contribute to the conversation? BTW, if you do a search on the term "bougie" you will find about a zillion threads where people "report in" their bougie size since you only want to know what people have and not what their outcomes or experiences have been.

Today was a very stressful day. I made the appointment for Saturday to have him put to rest, peacefully. The boys are out of town, but I called them. They are a half days drive a way and decided they would drive home to be with him. I explained that dogs live "in the moment" and i would be there to be sure his passing was peaceful but they felt strongly they wanted to be there. This dog is quite literally the last remnant of their childhoods and quite meaningful. They have never lost a pet before so although they are adults, it brings out the children in them. So, my EX comes over and loses his mind. He was not rational. I had other shit going on (explained below) and I finally said "it is your call, work it out with the boys, but you know my opinion". So, he cancelled the vet appointment and is taking the old dog for the weekend. He called me later and i could tell he was crying, and he just said "I know you are right, but this was just so sudden, maybe Monday" I can accept that. Boston isn't eating, but he is moving around pretty good especially since he is off all pain meds - he is more alert. My ex is taking him for the weekend starting tonight which takes a little pressure off me. I feel just sick about it too, so I know where he is at with this. So, my home remodel has gone really well in the big picture, but there have been issues. One of the guys punched a hole in my garage door yesterday - heaven knows how. So in the middle of the nightmare above, the contractor sent out the garage door expert. Contractor being very fair - paying for the repair or if I decided to get a whole new door, I would only pay the difference. $550 for repair that the contractor is paying for... and additional $250 I get a new garage door. Actually, a good deal for me when you think about ti considering this door is vintage 1980 and has issues... but, the stress of all this just kinda piled up today. To make it worse, the garage door guy was hitting on me. I should be flattered, but, I have a dying dog, emotional baggage with my ex, a hole in my garage door and an issue with the "last touches" on my remodel, not to mention an upset family and some shit at work... I was not flattered I was just overwhelmed. I actually wanted to cry. Anyway, deep breath. After all this, one of my best pals and I went horseback riding. I am helping her build confidence, pushing her limits in a safe way. I had wild child pony (remember, the pony I sold who came back!) who is actually faster than our riding horses. He is a little pistol. Anyway, I was leading him while riding my horse and we were careening around the park at alarming speeds having a helluva good time. Then, we stopped at a mexican restaurant and had a beer and shared some street tacos. Life is good, in spite of it's many challenges. I come home, and old dog is still not eating, but he is moving around and fairly lively. I feel like it his last hurrah. I am waiting for the EX to come and pick him up.

I am skeptical about this subject. Mine was 38 and I have been maintaining 150# loss for a few years. I have never heard of them going under 32 BUT I am also not sure how important the bougie size vs technique. What you should investigate is long term, over 3 years incidence of bad reflux and if that is associated with sleeve size. I honestly don't know because when I was sleeved 4 years ago there was a "theory" that smaller sleeves might have higher incidence of this long term complication. Serious reflux upticks at about 3 years post op....knock on wood I am still okay no reflux.

It is very normal to need a PPI for the first few months post op. I found that I could not drink plain Water for quite awhile post op. Warm herbal tea was a lifesaver. Herbal tea isn't really tea so there is no caffeine and it is gentle on the tummy.

For some people, their sense of "shame" about overweight is so ingrained they don't know another way. I was fat shamed alot by my dad and ironically he was morbidly obese. Sorry you have to deal with this.

No, but did you post to the thread? If so, you have subscribed to the thread. If you can find the option "content I follow" you will likely find it on your list of subscribed threads.

I felt pretty crappy (although it got better and better) until about 12 weeks post op. I would say your experience is pretty normal. Now, 4 years later and 150# lighter - yeah, I feel a lot better!

I am up at this early hour due to sick old dog. He is no longer keeping food down. He vomited foam after digesting the mild chicken/rice I home cooked for him since he can't tolerate dog food anymore. He is 14, arthritic and has a spinal problem. It is time to let him go but the kids are adamantly opposed. I have been going along with palliative care for about 5 months and have reached the point where I don't care what the family thinks, I can't let him keep suffering. As part of the "treatment " for the vomiting he must be taken off the 3 pain meds he is on for 3 days. Tomorrow he will start hurting. It just isn't right but in a family of males I am the only one brave enough to face this.

I lost 150#... pretty much one at a time!

okay, I was on Tinder for about 3 days. It was not my style. a zillion one off contacts, but it never resulted in even a coffee date. The person who originally told me about tinder had the exact same experience. So, if you like your phone app blowing up with lots of random people it's awesome... if you want to meet someone IRL, I am skeptical.

Best piece of advice I EVER got was from a nutritionalist. She said the formula for long term success: 1)is to keep portions SMALL - eat to absence of hunger, do not try to find "full". This helps keep a better feeling of restriction over time 2) don't graze - you would be amazed how the calories and carbs can add up one itty bitty bite at a time When you are first sleeved you will have no idea what I am talking about, but when you get 6-12-18 months post op you will be very glad you developed those two habits early on. Everytime somebody talks about how much the "can" eat or all the they don't like the response which is just because you "can" eat something (or quantity) doesn't really mean you should aim to. In other words, the choice is still in your hands.

I realize there is a strong emotional component to this - I am not trying to minimize it, but here is another perspective. Eating junky crappy food makes us want junky crappy food even if life is wonderfully perfect. I believe that if you can "break" the physical drive for those foods, it will support your effort in breaking the emotional. I say this as someone who used to weigh TWICE as much as I do now. Counseling has a huge value, but it never stopped me from craving certain foods, from having that high drive to eat. The last counselor I saw pre weight loss was an eating disorders specialist and she was sure i was lying when I told her that i was like really really hungry all the time. Neither she nor I understood the obesity disease process and how that excess fat acts like another organ in your body ... feeding the appetite monster. I am not sure the best technique for you, but I made huge strides toward breaking that cycle when I was sleeved. I white knuckled it for awhile and over time... food just ... stopped pleasing me like it once had. In some ways it was even a little sad to realize that even if I WANTED to feel better by overeating, it didn't really work! So, just some ideas - how about committing to just 5 consecutive days of eating "clean". Meaning, don't starve yourself, but eat Protein, veggies and avoid all processed type food. Journal it, log it, reward yourself with non food things each day. Tell yourself that those chips and Cookies and crap will be waiting for you later if that is what you REALLY want. (don't worry, now that I am not eating that crap there is plenty for the rest of North America - ha). If at the end of 5 days you decide you don't like eating this way - well, you can make a choice of what to do next. For me, it was always helpful to think in terms that i don't need to do this "forever" just for now. As time has gone on, I want to eat healthy forever because I feel and look so much better - that different behavior has created a reward feedback to me which is motivational. I know this is very very hard. I am rooting for you, whatever course of action you choose.

I was in a 4 month long relationship earlier this year that meant a little something to me. This is a man my friends thought was awesome, we did lots of outdoorsy things together, he taught me to fish, make beer, we camped and hiked and he rode horses with me - all sorts of stuff like that. My lil dog was always welcome at his house and she adored him. It ended, from my perspective because he had some weird stuff in his life and his reaction to it indicated not such a great mental stability. I mean, it was clear he was becoming paranoid and a bunch of other strange ideas and thoughts about things and so when his young daughter came to town I conveniently backed away as he was very uncomfortable about her knowing he was dating anyway. It was clearly mutual, so we decided to part ways. Anyway, I got pissed off because he made a big deal out of parting as friends, but didn't return my call(s) when i had something relevant and somewhat important to discuss with him.... so I thought...okey dokey, doesn't want to remain friends, okay that is how it is. Then, I get an email from POF (I have a hidden profile that I never do anything with) about ultra matches or some stupid thing and there he is with a picture of himself on MY horse. Pissed me off so I asked him to not use the photo of my horse via message. That was immature on my part, but dammit, that was MY horse and it just grated on me when i was having a bad day earlier this week. That triggered him to call me and we talked for about 45 minutes. I found out that his mental/emotional situation is even worse and the reason (from his perspective) that our relationship ended was because I didn't agree to go to this very important annual awards banquet that his daugher, mother, and many friends were going to be at. I didn't feel comfortable that big deal event being the first place to meet the most important people in his life, especially since by then things were clearly heading down hill, but he interpeted it entirely differently. He interpeted it that if I wasn't going to be #1, I wouldn't play. Wow. I was trying to be respectful of boundaries actually and NOT disrespect these other primary relationships but he read it completely opposite. I distinctly remember explaining why I preferred to not go and wait and see how things went in our relationship (after daughter went home) and maybe meeting her in the fall when she came back which just seemed like a more lowkey way to handle it. Anyway, we had a peaceful 45 minute call and I guess with some closure in the sense that I really did think we were compatible (except for his paranoid and anti social world views!) and those same attributes were reaffirmed and perhaps amplified. He did finally say that our basic problem is that I love people and want to socialize and go out and he wants to move to the backcountry somewhere and never have to deal with ANYBODY. Yeah, that is true, I would die of loneliness in the godforsaken world he wants to create for himself. So, in the end, I relented and said ok, use the pic of my horse. I am not jealous, I am just disappointed (as always) that it didn't work out between us. He texted me afterwards and said he was so glad we talked because it clarified in his mind that he really didn't belong on the dating world. While I tend to agree, I NEVER said anything even remotely like that and i don't think he is a lost cause but this goes back to that very negative spin on everything. It continues to astound me how many sad and lonely souls there are out there. I care for this man because I also saw his many good traits (work ethic, incredible old style skills, jack of all trades kind of thing) but... he is not thinking right. I dodged that bullet, as the saying goes. Always try to find someone less nuts then you are... and even he admitted that he is in quite an emotional state and has been for at least half a yaer. Man, I hate drama. Good news is he is unlikely to call again since it was my asking to not use my picture of my horse on his profile and I won't do THAT again. Okay, if he puts up a picture of my cute little dog, that will piss me off but... I will just try to bite my tongue keep it to myself.