CowgirlJane

I am sorry to be so dense but I can't understand what bad side effects you are having. @@anna9/15 I don't mean to be pushy but if you want to talk offline just message me. I am no medical expert but maybe I can share experiences and give you encouragement from the "other side" - I have maintained a major weight loss post sleeve and seem to have found a good lifestyle with being sleeved. Take care and keep thinking positive!!!

I am a project manager by vocation and actually have pretty thick skin. I think most people are understanding that I am not seeking pats on back, I am genuinely reflecting on the fact that sharing my story is so important to me if it saves others.... It is so easy to not get full benefit of the wls tool (i did that on my first try with the lapband!!!) That I almost feel a calling to try to help others find their path to sucess. That doesn't meanI think I have all the answers but more like I want people to believe it is possible.

I saw the post and it was actually a compliment. We are all so gunshy about being misunderstood. .. So ya' called me a bully, and then deleted it? ! didn't even get to read it!!! Actually I said at first I *thought* you were a bully, but then learned to love ya! Then I got all nervous about butting in since I'm not a vet so I deleted.

I am so sorry...heartbreak right on top of WLS is so not fun. I don't really have words to add except it sucks and you are gonna be on top of the world in the future - just have to remind ourselves of that

Anna I am worried about you. I am not keeping track but it seems that you are quite frequently posting about a sense of dispair and somehow I can't seem to follow what us happening. Dang phones and typos but I think you said it is your complications that give you that hopelessness? Is it GERD or something else. I would really like to give you the support you are seeking. I commend you for keeping coming back to ask for help..that takes some.guts to do that.

When I was sleeved I decided that I would do the step 2 and get the DS if I failed once again. I lost alot and have been maintaining with sleeve since feb 2013... so far so good, but I really like knowing it is out there and has very good success rates. Becoming obese again is simply not an option.

Kim, your words resonate deeply. I too want love with a man profoundly but I have lots of love with others and maybe for the stage of like I am at - that is what I need. I have discussed this topic at length with women my age and older, single and married and I don't see that the married are necessarily happier. I decided a few weeks ago to start looking outward more. My counselor wants me to pursue the spiritual path but I don't have that in me right now. Well..at least not traditional spiritual path. I loved that day I spent doing habitat restoration last year. I find joy when my dog suzy brings a smile to an elderly person (i take her lots of places and she is super cute and friendly ). I am going to make a genuine effort to build giving pleasure to others as a routine part of my life...investigating volunteer opportunities. I am such a social person, I have a pal and a son interested in perhaps joining me. I think it is worth exploring this path -for me anyway - as having "fun" just isn't as fun as it used to be.

Implant removal went smoothly. I love that surgical center, they keep me calm and seem to do a great job with medical phobes like me. Conscious sedation but I was.more aware and awake than typical. I found it reassuring. Couple of things - I am in so much pain I am shocked. Suspect digging around to pull out the implant caused some bruising. Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. Nurse anesthesiologist told me that at times my respiration rate seemed very slow, but I was talking. She said "are you in good cardiovascular shape or what?". Told her I used to be better. Doc said pocket was filled with blood which surprised him alot. Fits I guess with the injury theory over the "my body rejects umplants" or the "infection" theory. Did I mention I hurt like hell? My lil dog suzy senses all this. She has gently snuggled me the whole time, avoiding my pain zone. My son peels her away to take her potty and then she us RIGHT back. I am gonna need to get up and eat so she will. I feel kinda icky in the tummy tho. ..I think from the pain. I have been thinking about us volunteering as a therapy dog visiting hospice etc. Suzy is a little excitable at times but she has been a delicate lil princess cuddling me so it will be interesting to see how she does in therapy dog evaluation.

Once upon a time there was a forum called verticalsleevetalk that was small enough that people had a chance at remembering who someone is. While the relationships were not deep at.least they weren't the crazy volumes of.people we have now. THE Lapband Group isnt The only One That Got smooshed together. there was a time would I felt I could actually "mentor" someone who had my similar circumstances or we had some sort of connection. While I appreciate everyone that bothered to read and reply, I can't help but notice a few assumptions about me...example that I judge what size I think someone should be before being sleeved. This is merely an example, how could you know that someone I care about in real life had "only" 50# to lose pre-sleeve and i am cheering her on?? It is true if someone asked me if they should be sleeved at a low BMI I would ask them to think about if they'd really tried everything else first. Is that unsupportive? Why do they ask questions and seek opinions and then attack me for expressing it? "should I get the sleeve with 50 to lose". I am genuinely using this as an example of my bewilderment - that specific topic isn't the point - and I don't actually recall being critized on that one so no offense intended.

Thank you for the review. Last winter I loved the protidiet hot chocolate until I figured out how to make with premier protein. I am seriously seeking an outstanding hot chocolate for winter!

Wish I could see how they look on you. I am totally little red riding hood but I would pick snow white between those two looks.

This discussion is aimed toward people who are several years post op - NOT toward people early in their journey. Are we relevant anymore to the new people posting? More than once I have been "grouped" with some unknown (to me) group of people who are mean and dogpile on others. While I am unrelenting in the truth of my experiences I don't intend to cause harm. After awhile one does have to question if this is the case since the accusation is made both openingly and veiled and by more than one person. I can discount it to some extent (opinions aren't necessarily shared by others, people can be a bit on edge in the early days etc) but lately I have questioned my involvement in these forums. I get something back, but to be honest I could probably get that support by posting in vet and maintenance forums only. I try to help because if it weren't for others - who have long since left- I probably would have not been sleeved nor found the lasting success. But, they have left,the next wave left, and others have replaced whilst I hang on. I am asking this question, not just about me, but across the board. When I am feeling cynical I am reminded of my experience when banded when I was told I would just be satisfied to "eat dainty portions" and like magic I would become trim and slender. I feel that now the sleeve is being mass marketed with similar questionable advice. I am especially empathetic to those like me who had so much to lose and were pretty deep in the obesity disease process. Ann had a thread about how little value nutritionists added and I am keenly aware of how...useless...some of the guidance people are given in the mass marketing of the sleeve. This sounds like burn out but it is actually a different question - at 4 years post op is my experiences relevant? Just because I needed to shift my whole dang world to maintain this huge weight loss - is that even useful/relevant now? Part of why I ask here is because I have received some direct criticisms that I don't even understand...I feel like the hard of hearing granny who cannot understand why everyone is mad that I announced my grand daughter's bra size in public (yes, my granny did that as she was astounded at my girth!) Again please respect that this question is directed to fellow vets.

Very good experiences back when I used to buy healthier dressings, pancake mix, protein bar etc. These days I eat a lot more basic less processed foods so no longer use em, but highly recommend.

I second this suggestion. We are all individuals but me personally will not pursue a man after expressing initial interest. I am really clear likr..."I really enjoyed our talk today, you are everything and more than I expected, I'd like to see you again." If a man does not call after that very direct invite I conclude he wasn't interested. Funny story about someone contacting me like 3 months later. ..guess he got the message but a little slow!

@@Babbs mentioned she is enjoys staging homes/redecorating. I am sure there are others of you that have some skills/experience in this area. I have a "vision" but now that the basic remodel is mostly done, I am thinking about furniture, area rugs, furniture layout, ways to keep things clean and organized, color schemes etc. I am curious what resources might be useful to give ideas and validate my thoughts! i have perused some stuff on HGTV etc but wondering if there is something that is a practical guide that doesn't take hours and hours of loooking. I actually thought about going to "open houses" looking at homes staged for sale to get ideas. It has taken years, but my home transformation is mirroriing my inner transformation. I am getting rid of things that no longer support the life I want to live. It is hard, like letting go of the fat clothes, but letting go of "stuff" that represents a life I don't lead anymore is what i need to do in order to more fully live THIS life. Okay, I might NEVER be able to part with the little girl angel "decorator" plates my mother collected. In her final years, she started to see that little girl angel decor as almost like memories of her daughters as little ones and how she saw them. As a decorator item, does not fit my style, but an example of something that I have such a difficult time letting go because when I look at them, I think of how she saw them... However, I have some similar things that I CAN let go of and I so look forward to having a clean contemporary look and feel!

Simple ...removed band and revised to sleeve

I am a sleeve patient, so maybe does not apply... but I felt the need to be pretty gentle on my new little tummy the first 6-12 months... well who I am a kidding? I really don't eat hot spicey food anymore and I am 4 years out. Proceed with caution...

Omg...laser hair removal and she seems to have burned me again. Different machine, on very low setting but I am covered with red itchy bumps. I will say I get no regrowth after this machine (last time) but ouch!

I was a volume eater when I was banded but 10 years later I had become a "slider" carb junky. It is because dense Protein and veggies often caused pain but junk food did not. There are emotional reasons and there are physical reasons that obesity can win the battle. Good luck, you can still win the war.

It isn't that complicated. You seem to have been unlucky enough to have a poorly defined program.

I am 4 years out... I cant down like a quart of Water or something, but i certainly drink and eat in what most people consider normal. I stil avoid wolfing down or glugging down food/drink - but that isn't what i need to do anyway!

Nate, I am one who believes in taking action... then at least I feel like I tried everything. Have you considered counseling for yourself and then perhaps couples counseling? My ex had long since fallen out of love with me in a "couples sort of way". I initiated our breakup several years ago and i have since discovered that we make better friends than life partners. he is still a wonderful man, but we were somehow holding each other down. I wish I knew how to fix things... as I am a "fixer" by nature... but sometimes it is like things have gone so far down a path nobody even understands it anymore. That is how I felt anyway. Even with the benefit of hindsight, I am still not entirely sure what I could have done differently as it was a series of events and issues - not some single thing. Maybe there were just too many things and too complicated to forgive? I don't know, but i think it is worth trying to save things.

@@coops I know exactly what you mean. Also, there is this subjective thing about what size even looks good on a given body type. I am broad shouldered and have a naturally muscular build (gee thanks Dad!) so I can outweigh someone by ALOT and not so much look fat as just look proportioned for me. My friend M is taller than me, but fine boned and carries weight in her butt and mid section. I outweigh by a little bit but am like 4 pant sizes smaller - our tops are fairly similar but I have the bust. I have looked at pix of us together - she looks more overweight than I do even though I outweigh her. My friend S is taller than me, very very fine boned and flat out skinny - not muscular at all and has total chicken legs. I outweigh her by 40# and she wears tiny clothes. I only feel like her fat friend when I try on something that is huge on her and I can't button it over my boobs - ha. I think if she was my weight she would have excess fat since she has that ectomorph build with no appearance of muscle tone. I personally think she could stand to gain 10 and I could stand to lose 10... but we will never meet in weight or size and both me healthy. I was looking at pix of myself smaller and while I liked the skinny waist and pants, my face looked older and not so healthy. I am finding much contentment in the 150s and just want to stay here! I felt a bit heavy when I got over goal. So, I am practicing what I preach and focusing on what is best for me. I still sometimes wish I was skinny - ha - but that is cultural influences speaking not really my own perspective on what is most attractive or healthy.

I compensated by focusing on my intellect and I have to admit... eventually became somewhat "a-sexual" meaning - I de-emphaszed my feminity and focused on my role as bread winner, loyal sister,daughter etc. I was always polite and well liked, but not well loved. I successfully created a shield and when I lost weight, my whole energy toward others changed. It was overwhelming and tough to cope with at first.... People seem to think I am alot funnier now though. I am much more open/willing to be vulnerable. Like me or don't - I am what I am sort of attitude. My struggle as I am in middle age is deeply exploring the rest of me. I am more than a smart person. I am more than my looks, my body. I have come to find that MANY non obese people are going through a similar journey if they are willing to be self reflective.

I think your plan is a good one, but for a very specific reason. You will either be successful at maintaining your losses this time, or you won't (I am rooting for you!). If you are not, you will be much clearer on why WLS is worth the "risk" of some of the side effects. I believe that being "all in" can be pretty helpful. If you have mixed feelings/feel like you could have done it without surgery etc - you might be one of those people who regret the choice. I had tried everything (except drugs) and could never maintain losses. I finally reached the point where I couldn't even lose weight very readily anymore (yikes!) and I was very obese. I had no doubt in my mind that WLS was my only way out of the spiraling downhill health and happiness of life...