CowgirlJane

I can eat anything - no real restriction. Ice cream used to make me "dump" but I seem to have grown out of that now. I consider myself as lucky - my tummy is normal now. i get hungry, I eat a modest quantity and I am no longer hungry. If eat alot of junk, my appetite is triggered, but that is true of lots of people. I do have "treats" but not all the time and in limited quantities. It is a fallacy to expect that WLS will forever restrict your ability or desire to over eat, or eat the "wrong" things and I am not sure where people get that idea.

In my exerience and observation, exercise isn't so much key to getting to goal, but is pretty important for maintenance. The only people who seem to have trouble "stopping losing" seem to fall into two broad catagories: 1. people who develop complications like strictures that literally limit their ability to eat 2. people who develop fears/eating disorders or whatever you want to call it and are afraid to eat/overly afraid of regain. for most of us, we had to fight to get to goal. I lost 150# in 14 months and those last 30-40# were like hand to hand combat...haha! I still love food and eating and have no complications that limit my eating so 4 years post op, I still work at maintenance.

Its temporary.... I promise.

No, worse eating habits were ingrained during my band years. It was easier to eat chips over whole grain bread It was easier to eat carby food over dense Protein I often felt like my tummy was on fire when I was hungry, so i developed a frozen yogurt/ice cream habit as it was the only thing that soothed me (dummy me, didn't realize it was band induced reflux) I had to reset how I ate big time.

We always jump to addiction transference, and maybe it is - what the heck do I know? However, i have been in the dating pool and have had many conversations with men over email, coffee dates and a couple of guys became friends with. Heck, even found a couple of "relationship potentials" so I have heard alot of feedback about OTHER WOMEN in this process. I know that is weird, but guys can't seem to shut up about the topic. Anyhoo... turns out lots of people who are older/divorced very promisciously. It seems like the majority and I can assure you these are not people who had massive weight loss in their background. It was a shocker to me - one of the first men I went on a second date with revealed some issues he had related to having had something like 50-75 sex partners since becoming single. hello?? what? It put the fear in me and I learned that "protection" simply reduces risk and does not eliminate it. So, you get these well groomed, well educated, well spoken good jobs - don't seem like the type to be "high risk" but they are. I am unclear why having a drink with a sexual partner creates more risk because it is not like you can tell how many partners they have had by looking at them - beer googles or not. Having said all that, i do the OP needs to examine what she really wants from life, and how sexuality either supports it or not. (Franky, most of us need to do that about various aspects of our lives) i think cheating/lying is terrible and there are so many choices to have "sexual freedom" without cheating, that it is completely avoidable. I cannot guess when this behavior is an addiction or an addiction transference but i can tell you there are a heck of a lot of people who are way promiscious in their middle years. I am not making a moral judgement, rather a risk assessment. I chose to vaccinate myself against HPV, even though that is not approved for people my age. The one I am most scared of, and nobody even thinks is an STD is Hep C. Get that, and no drinking alcohol EVER and it can be a serious health problem if not fully managed - I don't want liver damage! Anyway, I have kind of gone off course here, just making the point that not everything is a replacement for food and alot of people seem to go a little crazy once they become single, or go through a separation or whatever. I will admit I was saved from this fate of "too many" partners largely for 2 reasons - #1 the scare story from the man I mention above put the fear of good looking/safe looking strangers in me; and #2 finding a long term lover who was monogamous with me even though we weren't in a real boyfriend-girlfriend relationship. That odd situation was actually incredibly helpful to me - he is older and actually gave me alot of good counsel about approaching things in life, built my self confidence and helped me see my value on alot of dimensions, and when i had a lot of inner turmoil, was a bit of a safe harbor. But of course, that fits my natural desire anyway - to have a single partner so wouldn't necessarily be a good thing for others. I came from a lifetime of just 2 committed, all consuming relationships (both decades long) so it was a learning process to be in a much less serious relationship and helped me grow internally too. All my irritation with dating has been trying to find that next serious relationship....and I am quite sure I have been looking in the wrong places but that is another topic entirely!

I am not sure there is a cookie cutter answer to how long it takes to heal. My surgeon gave me a 3 month healing period, but my diagnosis wasn't exactly the same as yours. My personal experience is that my hunger WENT THROUGH THE ROOF after the band was removed. It shocked me because I had not had any fill for years. I worked with a doctor to try to learn to eat moderate carb to keep from gaining weight during the 3 month wait. I am not saying my experience is universal - it is true that I could eat healthy foods easier once the band was gone, but the bad habits of eating alot of sliders, eating soothing foods for my undiagnosed band induced reflux etc were already ingrained. Eating crap triggers more hunger, but I didn't really understand all that back then.

I don't weigh food, but I frequently use measuring cups... especially for foods that I am prone to overeating. It is frankly shocking how small a quantity 1/4 cup of lasagna is...ha! I don't eat lasagna too often, but when I do, apparently I am capable of eating alot of it. I also still use appetizer plates and utinsils at home and I am 4 years post op.

It was one of the hardest things i have ever had to do. For my surgeon, the purpose is liver shrinking so I wasn't expected to lose weight, but rather to shrink the liver. I did lose 8# in 2 weeks and thought I would die of starvation since I didn't know how to eat low carb back then. Anyway, my motivation was that i was quite frightened of surgery and I felt that shrinking my fatty liver was something I could actually DO to reduce my surgical risk. I don't know how true that is - but it is the belief system I had which helped me stick with it. It was absolute misery, and frankly the post surgery time frame wasn't so fun either - but i did it and I am glad because it set me on the path to attaining a normal weight. You can do this!

I am in! I am at goal, but I want to get 5-10# under goal to have a good bounce range!

So last year for Halloween I dressed as Xena warrior princess....all the women recognized my costume! All the men said..."where is your whip?" What is it with you guys??? Big busted woman in a leather corset, short leather skirt, tall boots makes you immediately think "whip"?

Ask your surgeon You will wear compression garments post op but waist training is way more extreme. The extent of my knowledge is someone in a private FB group I am in was committed to waist training and has in fact had post plastics complications. My sample of one tells me not such a great idea.

It's all about context. People don't find stuff funny because they take it personally and as an insult, even if that wasn't the intention. Being"in on the joke" doesn't come easily for everyone. More specifically, someone can make a pretty wacky statement which even they might find funny 6 months from now...but right now, today, they are serious as a heart attack and can't fathom why other more experienced people might find it funny. I think alot of it is hilarious but since support is one of our key goals here, I try to hold my tongue (fingers?) and hope that someday the OP "gets it". Remember that some obese people fear criticisms, being laughed at etc. disproportionately and over react, find insult where none was intended. Heck, some people SEEM to be looking for conflict and get torqued over nothing.

I think the real question here is "what is the problem you are trying to solve?" There are people who choose open relationships/poly marriages because they want that There are people who choose to have uncommitted / not exclusive relationships There are people who avoid the whole deal and essentially have no strings attached type hookups Heck, there are full blown swingers/sex club people Then there are people who only seek exclusive, committed relationships While the last one is what our society says women "should want" maybe that isn't your reality at this stage in life. I do think that counseling to explore this a little deeper might be good to be sure that you are actually happy and content with your choice. I personally think that the deceit and hiding things is immoral but the rest is really a lifestyle risk vs benefit choice you should make. It seems to me that part of the process you are experiencing is finding the lifestyle YOU want. Let's face it, for a reasonably attractive woman, it is super super super easy to find willing sex partners and can be an ego boost. The question is, are you getting what you really need /want or is it a substitute for something you really need/want? Attention and that initial attraction feels good and exciting, but I can tell you for sure - I am SO OVER IT. I have been at goal since Feb 2013. Do you feel that some of this is you like being wined/dined/seduced and actually paid attention to? Nothing wrong with that, but again know your motives, know what you want, be clear with prospective partners and let them decide if they want to be a part of it or not. Side note - I have the opposite bias. I am single, I still want a sex life but I don't feel "safe" in this world of lots of partners. It is much harder to find a high quality committed exclusive relationship. What makes it even harder is I am apparently still dealing with a little bit of "fear" of committment myself. So it creates this crazy cycle where I want an exclusive, loving relationship but I get a bit panic stricken about giving up my much valued freedom (I am not talking sexual freedom, I mean everything else - ha!)

My personal experience is HOW I eat has a huge influence on my hunger, feeling of restriction and in general success. I know not everyone is open to that idea - but going low carb can really help minimize hunger.

I overdid it and paying the price. My drain output is way up and has turned pink/bloody again, I feel poorly, I have pain. I also feel blue...but I KNOW that is because my mind/body gets confused and feeling physically bad makes me sad. I know because yesterday and Saturday I felt great. I went to a haunted house - first time since forever! It was scary but we laughed (between screams) so hard the whole time our faces hurt afterwards. Sat I got out with a couple of girlfriends for a few hours which was cheering. The overdoing it was taking care of a farm related disaster that occurred while I was "recovering" from surgery. About 2 hours of med to hard physical work. I feel better already, took a pain pill and going to nap.

Also I can add is that those early weeks are NO FUN! Try to think as positively as you can and keep your eye on the prize.

Anna, Tums are not very effective. Proselec, Nexium type drugs are much better at controlling reflux. Hopefully you have that under control but if you don't - tums might not be powerful enough. I needed PPI drug for a couple of months post op, but haven't needed since, so this is likely very temporary.

As part of my new..".don't get involved" strategy I am keeping my peace on Alex's thread on band myths debunked. It isn't accurate. Example, i still have the brochure from the band manufacturer saying clearly it is not permanent and will most likely need removal or replacement. I just found out that the most successful bandster I know had her band slip and be removed about 13 years post op... and I think the removal rate at the 10 year mark is quite high.

If you click on your name you see several options...choose."content I follow" which will list all threads you have posted in unless you choose to unfollow.

I don't know if you are a costco member or have a trader joes nearby.... but if you search for either of those you will find threads started by me where people put in "favorite finds" from those places. I like to cook but am often time challenged, so I love healthy - nearly ready to eat food. There are some who eat lean cuisine type dinners but I can't bring myself to do it. I feel like I eat so little - I want it to be stuff I love or at least like! I bet others will post some easy peasy stuff but here are just a few things: -greek yogurt -all natural sandwich meat with cheese, ideally wrapped around a dill pickle -low carb/low calorie/healthy sausages - there are several varieties I really like and can just heat and eat -I buy salmon patties (from Costco, but you can get them elsewhere) I grill em and put them on top of a yummy bed of salad greens. I use olive oil and white balsamic vinegar for dressing and it is really really good! -Do you like seafood - lots of places have ready to eat shrimp... yum -egg beaters and baby turkey sausages are a regular Breakfast for me - lots of Protein and very low cal/low carb -any kind of sandwich, but instead of bread, use a lettuce and make a wrap! -grocery stores often have premade things that are quite nice. It is expensive, but since 1 serving is probably 3 meals, it suddenly becomes more economical! -tuna in a pouch can be good over salad or as a main ingredient in one of those lettuce wraps Come on people - I know there are lots of other amazing ideas out there!

Loose or excess skin is not cured by exercising, but everything looks better over toned muscles - so go for it! I had plastics so I will answer the question differently - what surprised me the most in terms of impact on my overall "look" was the arm lift. I was awaiting my son and his girlfriend at a restaurant and they didn't recognize me from the back because I looked so much smaller. My weight hadn't changed, but that bulk reduction in the arm made me look so much smaller - and that was in full on winter clothing! I have the inverted triangle build so anything that can reduce bulk up top tends to make me look smaller. The part that was most annoying pre plastics was anything that could not be contained by spanx. I became quite artful at creating a nice figure but how I arranged things under those type garments - ha!

Which surgery did you have? I am a sleever, so we don't have a pouch, but my tastes changed ALOT post op. In general, food became kinda blech and uninteresting for quite awhile. IT was an amazing opportunity to start thinking of food a different way - I am so glad that happened! I am 4 years post op and the only thing that never really went back to normal are: #1 plain Water just tastes a ;little metalic to me whereas i used to love it and #2 I can't handle quite as spicey of food. I am unsure how much of that is a change in taste buds vs my own internal concept of protecting my sleeve? (If that were the case you would think I hate coffee - I don't I loves it!)

I have read and am thinking about each and every comment - thank you for the perspectives. Two things: 1- the most important is i never intended my request for the discussion to be targeted to other "veterans" to be hurtful or negative. The specific reason I reached out to that group was because I wasn't seeking a pat on the back, but to seriously ask people who have been around awhile if at some point we "age beyond our prime" so to speak. I read each comment and message regardless of your "vet" status. What strikes me is that even though my motive was not negative, by making the request it made some people feel apologetic/unwelcome - I am sorry about that. This small observation is classic of what happens on forums isnt it? 2- This discussion has helped me refocus on what is important to me and helps me with a shift in perspective - thank you. @@MichiganChic and others have described that person who helped you "believe" in trying one more time to slay the obesity dragon. I had those that inspired me; helped me help myself! - and am forever grateful. It's not that I feel I owe it to anybody to pay it forward - it is more like I feel compelled or motivated from within; I place value on this.

In answer to your question - recovery from plastics vs VSG were completely different experiences. After sleeve surgery, it was the difficulty getting Water in, the fatigue from mild dehydration, the difficulty transitioning to solid foods, the digestive issues the first few weeks... all temporary but not easy either! Flip side, in terms of raw healing, the sleeve was an easier procedure. i took 3 weeks off from work for sleeve and probably could have gone back sooner. Post plastics, it was 3 weeks before I was allowed to drive. I took 6 weeks off from work! Part of the reason is to minimize tension on incisions to improve scar appearance, but even so - plastics be no joke of a surgery! some people lose weight because their body burns so many calories healing from plastics! In my case, my appetite went through the roof and I had to work very hard to eat super healthy and just maintain even though I was eating alot more than normal for several weeks postplastics. In answer to the question you didn't ask - don't worry about any of this right now. In my opinion, there is a time to focus on losing weight/changing lifestyle/planning for maintenance and there is a time to be investigating and putting mental focus on plastics etc. None of us have any idea how things will work out, how we will feel about our excess skin etc until we get there. I believe focusing on fitness, weight loss, good overall health prepares you for whatever next step you decide to take - or not take! I see no evidence (that includes following plastic surgery and this forum) that any of the wraps, lotions, or dancing under the moonlight prevents excess skin but if you find a product that has some evidence it may help, why not try it? I go back to high levels of fitness and good health being the best thing to do.

@@bellabloom I am glad you are seeking more intense treatment for this. All aspects of our lives are intertwined and I think stabilizing good health is critical to happiness too. I know i have shared before......My former primary care doc warned me it easy for WLS patients to get nutritionally deficient and hard to rebuild good health so tackle it now for your sake, your kids sake. Take care.