CowgirlJane

Small portions of all my favorites. Key for me is to avoid grazing all day.

I did forget to mention that the universe may bring some ... shall we say balance. Without getting into too much detail - we ran into 3 young people that know this man's son... and obviously know/recognize him too. He is a very charming, confident man so I saw no particular red flags except what I thought was the normal "I'd rather be on this date alone" kind of vibe. In hindsight...I am thinking he is probably wishing he had picked a different place to enjoy a drink and dinner.

I am with you. Not my circus, not my monkeys. I hated being judged when I ate too much, i don't like being questioned about the way I eat now and so I really have the attitude that it is not my business. Restaurant portions are ridiculous. I always get either a small appetizer or share a meal.

Actually, I had a great time. I was just disappointed. I read advice for women about finding a good man - to get over the looks thing. I think one of the problems i have is I pass over some good possibilities because I am not attracted to their physical attributes. Either that, or choose to stay single and go on alot of little fun dates like this. As time goes on, I wonder more and more why i even want to find a partner actually. I am working on ideas for myself for the next few years - things I want to take center stage in my life - and not a one of them involves a man. My lame dresser - and I never meet soemone with the idea of "changing" them - is a very nice man (can you believe we went to Ikea together because I was just going there and he offered to come along - scored about 1000 points there) but I am actually more concerned that i sense he might be prone to depression but that is just a gut feeling. He is many good things though. It is all very easy and casual now, but something that @OKPirate said really reasonated - how important good mental health is. I am really being choosy on THAT front because I really regretted it when I started to fall for a guy (dated for about 4 months last winter/spring) who is quite emotionally ill but hid it very well. And when I started to get an inkling, I found ways to overlook or justify it. I have learned that lesson - that point is just not negotiable. anyway, I share my story knowing that some of you are just diving into the dating pool. You might be ready and find a wonderful person, but I don't care what you look like, your age or whatever - it isn't so easy. I am considering writing a book about all this nonsense though.

Nice to hear from you! I will be 4 years post revision to sleeve and am so happy with my results! I think alot of us would agree that the crap that surfaces post weight loss is sometimes the real challenge! Congratulations on your ongoing success and getting a peaceful life back too!

As I said before, it was just a date. I wasn't even going to be dating right now (remember I am lopsided!) but it seemed like an opportunity.

Go to the BEST running shoe store around. Jock and Jill in Seattle had a podiatrist there for a fitting event. I weighed 250# and needed awesome shoes tor the 60 miles over 3 days Susan b Komen cancer walk. I trained and I walked every mile and I credit those shoes with helping me make it. Anyway that first pair costs a lot (and they need replacing pretty fast if you do alot of miles due to loss of impact protection due to miles)...but now you know"your shoe" including size and can buy online or outlet or sales.

I dressed up - looking hot without hoochy...haha. I have a decent body for a 51 year old and am okay flaunting it to a man I am interested in. Much to my relief, he showed up dressed great... just perfect. I felt like we were the couple that makes middle age look not too shabby. We went out to this really amazing brand new place.... hard to explain but it was like a huge complex with multiple restaurants, bars and even a 91 degree swimming pool!! (we didn't go swimming). We toured the place, laughed, and talked, had a few drinks and a yummy dinner... all good. He was such an attentive gentleman, helped me with my jacket, treated me like a princess. It felt so wonderful. Tall, dark, handsome, age appropriate, funny, great conversationalist - I mean the kind of person you could visualize spending time with.... just too good to be true isn't it? So, we get to the end of an amazing like 3 hour date and I say. " I had a wonderful time" and he says "Me too, I really enjoyed your company more than you know" Than I say "I would like to see you again". (I am a big believer in stating my interest and letting him decide what to do with it.) Then there is an odd pause.... and he says his schedule can be difficult. I thought.... okay, weird, I guess my magical evening wasn't a mutual experience. Then it dawns on me... "your married aren't you?" Yup Can you effing believe it? Apparently wifey is out of town this week. Can you effing believe it? I realize this is very much an emotional response to a big disappointment, but I feel ready to give up. I deserve a man like this who is actually available and not decietiful would be a bonus. I did meet someone else recently - I am trying to do what my counselor said which is to not zero in too quickly. My someone else has many great attributes but not so charming, a very lame dresser and as a 50% parent of teen kids not as available as I would prefer - but of course leaps and bounds better than effing married!!! My thoughts right now are... don't be such a sucker and give less charming dude a more serious chance with me. Or else give up entirely. Can you tell I am pissed?

I had 240 implants and people think I have huge boobs... so i don't know what to think...

Not sure if you all realize but waist training is severe and actually changes your shape internally...this isn't about smooshing skin. This is what tranny guys do, it is what Victorian era rich women did. I encourage you to really research this. Compression garments are great, but this is a big step.

Sleeve, bypass or DS are all options for us "failed bandsters". Get educated on the pros and cons of each choice. .. commit. ..and you can do this! I am half my former size. ...thank you sleeve!!!

Well... I am nearly 4 years post op and to make my Protein goals I generally have a Premier Protein daily. I use it in my coffee...sip on it during the day etc. I am half my former size and believe that a low carb high quality Protein Drink helps me maintain. Protein Bars...another very high carb story. ..

I didn't read your blog..but I had a lower body lift..and more...in October 2013. By Jan I was skiing and horseback riding. I wore stage 2 compression garments while doing vigorous activity but daily life, I didnt have much swelling at all by then.

Premier protein and I have become...friends. why? Because LIKE being half the size I used to be!

I was so hesitant to get the arm lift due to scars....but OMG. ...they turned out great. The scarring is nearly invisible 2 years post op...I go sleeveless all the time now!

I know several people who met their spouses at work - so good stories happen too...however...i have worked for the same company for DECADES and prefer to keep my personal life (all aspects) seperate from work. That attitude has served me well. Think hard about this.

I am more self confident than the average woman.... so I would probably be okay with someone picking me up once we had talked alot/met. Of course, I share a house with two young strapping lads (my grown sons) so I probably have a false sense of safety - ha. I like the suggestion made to say something like "I would like to see you again, would you be comfortable with me picking you and taking you to that movie we talked about? Or is there some convenient location we could meet at?"

You know what I noticed... and this has been progressive. I know from the first meeting whether i want to see someone again. In my early days of "online dating" often the man would be interested in me, but I didn't want to see him again. I always hated having to communicate that. I have gotten much better at sending the right signals and in general I don't have that happen anymore.... we just have a pleasant coffee, chat or whatever and it seems that it goes unspoken that we arent going to pursue this. One of my insights was believe it or not reading about meyers briggs personality types. It might be all bogus, but I am an ENFP and one of the things I learned is that often that personality type is flirtatious and engaging without even realizing it. I am more self aware now and am much better at being friendly and pleasant without sending the "flirtatious" signals. I recently realized that my obesity used to keep me in the safe zone - I could be all smiling and engaging and everyone knew i was not actually flirting. Now that i am more shapely and attractive, it was being misinterpeted. Who knew the world was so complicated? haha

@@Adam Kramer much harder to self sabatoge DS

via my plastics FB group I have met alot of DS'ers. There are benefits to it, but also bigger risks. When I did plastics consults years ago I had two different surgeons tell me that the only patients they had that they really worried about were DS patients because unless you are quite diligent about nutrition and supplements you can be thin but not necessarily healthy. My suggestion is to check out obesity help where they have a larger group of DS patients. I would be sure that your surgeon has a great track record with this more complex/higher risk surgery. I have also heard about a newer procedure that is more of a "mini" DS that you might want to look into (cannot recall what it is called!) I considered DS as my backup plan, but since I have been maintaining well as a sleever I haven't looked into it any further. Good luck whatever you decide!

Well, it's just a date... but I guess like alot of people I have trouble meeting someone in real life (hence the online dating) so it is refreshing actually.

Woo hoo! Self care is one of the big changes needed for many of us!

Intimacy is not the same as sex. I think it is a process and I suspect the journey varies alot by our own state of mind. I felt great intimacy with someone who I knew there was no long term potential and it took me a long time to figure out why. In spite of his failings and issues, he brought good things out of me, and I felt safe. ( this is the man I saw soon after losing weight). That self discovery helped me understand why I perhaps had not picked a good match for a life partner previously as "safe" is important but not enough. I have grown alot since then and one of the things I recognize is a certain wariness about allowing myself to get too close too quickly because just like some people fall "head over heels" due to physical attraction, I am prone to having that happen when someone is smart, conversant and somehow triggers that SAFE feeling. I am striving to be much more careful about emotional involvement now because mentally healthy is so important and not always clear at the beginning. I had a few month relationship with someone a while back who I think is a little wacko.... that was reconfirmed when we talked on the phone several months after our break up....this guy is paranoid and I actually think potentially dangerous...not because of anything he has done, but rather the crazy path his mind is going down. So I think true intimacy has a alot of complexity and I think it is very possible to feel it even with the "wrong" person. That process of learning how to find healthy intimacy is really an interesting one....and one that plenty of people don't seem to achieve.

You are doing great!

Whew..I am back to goal. I gained like 5# from the implant removal. Well, I am going out to dinner with the man I met out dancing on Sunday. I think he is too old for me, but he knows how to dance which carries huge bonus points! Denise, here is a an idea, why not go to the gym right after PT. You are dressed, out there, anyway. So I am getting the impression this last surgery is working, right? I sure hope so after all you have been through.