CowgirlJane

I want some life advice, I sure wish there were more of us still reading/posting here because I always appreciate the diverse views.

Family reunion weekend and a crappy eating evening last night and I am way UP. I tell myself it is salt but this is getting out of hand. I need an intervention.

The line in this song by tim McGraw reasonates with me... why do we risk love and life after all the times we have been hurt? We ride and never worry about the fall , I guess that's just the cowboy in us all "The Cowboy In Me" I don't know why I act the way I do Like I ain't got a single thing to lose Sometimes I'm my own worst enemy I guess that's just the cowboy in me I got a life that most would love to have But sometimes I still wake up fightin' mad At where this road I'm heading down might lead I guess that's just the cowboy in me The urge to run, the restlessness The heart of stone I sometimes get The things I've done for foolish pride The me that's never satisfied The face that's in the mirror when I don't like what I see I guess that's just the cowboy in me The urge to run, the restlessness The heart of stone I sometimes get The things I've done for foolish pride The me that's never satisfied The face that's in the mirror when I don't like what I see I guess that's just the cowboy in me Girl I know there's times you must have thought There ain't a line you've drawn I haven't crossed But you set your mind to see this love on through I guess that's just the cowboy in you We ride and never worry about the fall I guess that's just the cowboy in us all

Is your story posted somewhere - sounds like you have been through alot! Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I337 using the BariatricPal App

One thing I always visualize about food and the pleasures it brings... it's like that bad boyfriend. You know, makes you feel good for a short time but then ruins your life and makes you miserable over the long run. Breaking up is painful, but eventually the grief of that loss will fade and there will be room in your life for lots of other joys and pleasures besides food! Hang in there.

I have been reading these forums about 5 years; I am 4 1/2 years post revision to sleeve and maintaining a massive weight loss - so one of the cranky vets around here. My primary comment is that your surgeon's guidelines do not fit, even remotely, the "norm" based on what others have shared, what I have read on websites of major respected bariatric centers etc. While we do each need to follow our program to maximize success, I really question whether a month of clear liquids acheives anything. When I read the details of your program it looked like a plan to maximize initial weight loss - but that won't work if you can't stick with it! Besides, in my experience, the real power of the sleeve is that time period when you begin solid food (for me it was around 6 weeks) through the period of time when your hunger returns (for me, it was about 8 months post op). Tiny amounts of solid food were all I needed to feel great, and lose weight during that window. It helped me change my relationship with food, but suffering through an extended liquid diet would not have done that. I am not sure what I would do in your shoes because you do need to follow a program, but I would not be happy with your program either.

In fact, there was a fairly strongly worded post created by a site administrator making it clear that "vets" are not really that important here and supposedly cause the issues. There are snarky people everywhere on the internet, but many people who are maintaining at goal provide positive support. I relied on it when I was preop and beyond, but probably more for motivation and seeing the vision of what was possible to achieve post sleeve. I have come to the conclusion that advice is not particularly welcome AND now that everyone sees things on mobile devices they can't see tickers, signatures and other things that I found so motivating in my early stages. Bottom line, since it is hard to view the photos and the "stats" it is much harder to find experienced people to use as your motivation, mentor, etc. Kindle, I normally don't care for "flounce" posts but I am pretty much there with you on your reasons and want to let you know that you will be missed. It isn't the few, it is the majority really and it has been escalating for a while. That is why WLS forums are filled with newbies and not veterans.

My relationships have changed - my close friends are still close friends, but I have churned through some aquaintenances. I have netted more in the end so I guess it isn't a problem... I too tried to think "why" but I kind of realized I didn't really want to hang out with them anymore either. so, something changed, maybe there is no one event or incident, just a shift in life focus?

Down one pound...

Skin removal was a big deal, but I am so glad I did it! I had a lower body lift, breast lift and small implants, arm lift - all 3 amazing results. Later I had a thigh lift (not such a good plan). I made this collage because there is a photo of me with no spans, post weight loss.... Wow what a difference getting rid of that skin! The thigh lift was later because ( sad to say) thighs really get worse not better.

I had the band for 10 years, ended up heavier than I started! I revised to sleeve in December 2011, lost about half my former size and maintaining in the goal weight ballpark. For me, sleeve and band have been completely different experiences. I was a bottomless pit and the band didn't help me (after first year) whereas I now have what I consider a normal, not insatiable, appetite.

My relationship was ending ( only I hadn't received the memo yet) at the time of my sleeve. I very much benefitted from the moral support my (now ex) partner gave me. No intention to offend, Kindle is one tough cowgirl, most of us need a little more help than that! However, physically I was able to take care of myself 100% from day one but I would NOT be doing farm chores right away! So, you will be able to care for yourself physically and the support is only helpful... Well, if it's helpful! My ex did ease my worries, but I also wanted to be left alone in my miseries too!

I hit goal in February 2013, and it took quite awhile before I saw myself realistically. When I see my before pix, I can't imagine I was that big. Sometimes even now I will notice someone looking at me and I think my dress is stuck in my panties or something, my friends have to tell me...no, you and your porn star hair (running joke) are being checked out Photos help, time helps! Congrats on your success!

@@UK Cathy I am so sorry. Cancer is so cruel, 58 is way too young. Your small tribute / memorial of her is lovely. She sounds like an amazing woman and the world has lost one of the good ones.

My horse is 25 (old) so I am borrowing a young Arab who has quite a bit of pep and is spooky and frankly often an idiot. I am a confident rider, but my friends worried about me taking this little loon on our 3 day riding adventure last weekend. Kudos to both of us - together we encountered: - a bear - elk - flushed a bunch of pheasants who flew up in a most alarming manner - many close encounters with mule deer - save a golden retriever who "messed" with the wrong does. Those mammas had that dog pinned to the ground and we had to rescue him on horse back! Because my horse was younger and energetic, i did alot of riding off from the group and doing some "faster" riding and then rejoining them. The spooky little horse really did good! oh, and hanging out with my pals for 3 days was epic all by itself!

Well, I was willing to do things alone...and it was really helpful! Michael brings with him outgoing fun friends so my social life is almost too much now! I am doing something brave....hair color!!! My biggest problem health and weight wise is I am drinking more days a week than not. Empty calories and catching up with me. Good news is I have started jogging, doing my physical therapy again, and getting on spinning bike. I wish was thin, but now I am not fat, but bigger.Size 10 pants instead of 2.... My boyfriend never saw me obese or thinner and he keeps reminding me I am perfect for him, but that I should lose weight if it would make me feel better. So, my current goal is to slowly turn the tide....stay exercising, eat reasonable and rein back on the partying just a bit, with less focus on trying to lose. I am genuinely happy, but I don't want to be obese again.

There is alot of info in this thread: http://www.bariatricpal.com/topic/291240-52-links-and-info/ I was very successful with 5:2, but I couldn't keep doing it as I realized it was contributing to mood swings. I found out that happens to some people, so I really couldn't stay with it. However, I still use some of the basic concepts such as allowing a "long" overnight window of letting the digestive system rest. Also, of eating lighter on some days to make up for the higher days. All in all, I thought it was easy to follow and effective - except for giving me an uneven mood which I didn't like at all.

Thank you for sharing. When I was investigating plastic surgery/skin removal I talked to several people on the phone as well as of course forum messages etc. What I discovered is that the people that basically accepted themselves were the happiest with their skin removal results. It is similar to what you are saying, there has to be a basic self love, quality of life, good health in place before you can genuinely enjoy and fully benefit your new "slim life". So, it is painful to regain but look at where you started! You are still a success story!!!

I am so sore! Yesterday, I went jogging (not walking!) and had a brutal golf lesson.

Have you seen this - perhaps returning the vets forum to a limited one again? Funny thing i suggested it, LL picked it up and lots of people are for it. I am sure there will still be whining newbies who don't like what we have to say to each other... http://www.bariatricpal.com/topic/371260-veterans-only-please-one-year-post-op/page-8

In the early stages, the preop diet was the hardest. Now, I would say that maintenance after about 3 years post op got really hard! I am 4.5 years post op and can eat alot more and really have to work it continually.

@@UK Cathy I am limiting my time on BP because Alex's post about how us vets are big meanies pissed me off. I still want to be supportive to our little group though! What is going on in your life Cathy? I am gaining weight, I haven't stepped on a scale in 2 weeks because I am scared and I need to get my butt in gear and get on the program!

I like the idea, but now that most people use this site from their mobile apps - it doesn't work that well. Example, i post something in the vets forum aimed at people who are a long ways out from surgery. We banter - you know the stuff that people talk about. Then, because it shows up under "new posts" someone clicks on it, doesnt even realize they are in the vets forum (or rants, or singles etc) and takes offense. This happened to me - quite awhile ago I made a post in the singles forum that offended someone deeply; among other things, she felt that my comments were not in any way helping WLS support. I wasn't posting about WLS, but of course that person didn't realize it was a specialized forum. I am actually kind of done with it all.

I am 10# over goal, and 25# over my lowest weight. I am annoyed with it, but I am lucky to have people in my life who remind me how awesome and beautiful I am even with a little muffin top. I think this battle is won or lost in our own minds and heart and the first is accepting and caring for ourselves. I spent much of my life beating myself up, and i am not doing that! I used to work out alot, but developed serious physical problems too, I don't have a good answer, but what I know is the "winners" are the ones who don't give up. You are in that catagory... just the fact that you acknowledge it and ask for help tells me that you will not regain all your lost weight. You can do this... but it will be slow. My advice is to not think in terms of "I need to lose XX by a specific date". Instead, focus on slowly improving your health... finding exercise that works for you, making alot of small better choices. Hang in there - we can do this!!!!

I spent a year in anguish over the decision to revise from band to sleeve. It was not fun, but I think that helped me really come to grips with how important this is. How big this decision is. I never had any regrets post op because I KNEW I had no real choice - that my very life was on the line. I have been shocked at how well it turned out! I am 4 1/2 years post revision to sleeve and still a hot ole lady - ha! I am loving life.