CowgirlJane

@@coops it's even worse....he has many rentals and one of his old friends, from church, runs an effing puppy mill out of a trailer. I so want to report it. I was wondering if I am depressed (don't think so- I feel good) but I just don't give a fuck about dating/men anymore. Midlife crisis in men is real and it sucks.just heard from guy I had been dating for 3 months before he got depressive. Not a word wishing me well....all about his own stupid drama. It's just unreal I am in Monterrey ready for my boob fix! I am nervous but mostly excited.

This thread began with her mother, who only ate an Apple a day, forcing the OP on diet pills from when she was 8 and essentially forcing her to stay thin via whatever means. The OP said she gained 70# after moving out since she finally had access to food, and the mom was insistent on bariatric surgery. The plan was to teach mom a lesson by letting her waste a bunch of money ( I just assumed cash pay) and then back out quite literally at the last minute. Surgeons and hospital were great but too quick because she was knocked out and woke up with her stomach cut out thus foiling her plan to " teach mom a lesson" the OP went on to say she consented to everything ( signed all the paperwork) but didn't really know how much she weighed, BMI but approximated. She also didn't know anything about the sleeve but felt terrible ( physically). Her sisters have consoled her that she will feel better but mom is happier that she won't be able to gain weight back again. My reply was about that last point....yes Virginia, you CAN gain weight back post bariatric surgery. I think it is clear this person is either a troll, or needs mental help or some combination thereof, especially when the previous post psychprof quoted is thrown in. op said she was in counseling which is another fishy detail. Wouldn't a counselor be ethically required to report the cohersiin of this scale?

Get IV fluids and update us on how you feel. Gotta be honest, I didn't quite feel human about the first 8-12 weeks but look at me now-loving life as a trim person...I was sleeved 4years ago and would definitely do it again in a heartbeat!

I have never heard a story like this! I am a mother of 2 young adults and I can't fathom them wearing a sweater I bought they didn't like much less have MAJOR PERMANENT LIFE CHANGING surgery against their will. There are so many things to say I don't know where to start.... first I am sorry you find yourself in this situation. It is so important to get educated, because let me assure you, it is quite possible to regain that weight down the road even post sleeve. It is your life, but that would be a lose-lose situation for you and your mom. I can't help but feel the toxic nature of all this. What will happen if you marry a man she doesn't care for, or your future children or career or whatever needs "fine tuning"? Heaven forbid, what if your future child is a bit heavy??? A few years down the road, living with a sleeved tummy will be easy peasy.....but will this ever end? I know you love each other, but this is one of the strangest things I have heard in a long time.

When I was sleeved, 60 g was a standard recommendation and many of us did fine on it. My 3 year post op check...they said "the evidence now says 80g is the minimum ". When i went for my bod pod analysis, she said I should go for 100g due to my rather muscular build and desire to reduce body fat and build more muscle. My point is that high Protein / low carb really really helps control hunger and helps build muscle but I am not convinced that it is critical to health otherwise

I love it...I agree with a hamster free fridge Seriously, dense Protein is not really tempting to snack on unless I am hungry! Nuts, Peanut Butter, crackers etcetc...on the other hand... get the hamsters running..ha!

They are both good procedures. I thknk I have weighed in on this question twice this week. One of the threads had alot of good comments, might be worth looking for. I was sleeved 4 years ago, maintaining at half my former weight, couldn't be happier with results.

I am sorry you are going through this. My sleeve was 4 years ago, been here since before that and I would NOT say those are at all common. I can't recall the name of when the stomach shape isn't right, but I hope they get you fixed up soon!

I am 51...look at my before and afters. ..no gaunt girl here! I am sorry I can't spin this positive. It's like somebody has their 40 th birthday and you say "sure hope you don't get bald and fat"

Kathy, that news would stress me out! I am sure it will all work out though! I leave for monterrey and my new boob! I have been nervous. ..me and my anxiety! But it has turned to excitement. It is an event that represents "moving on" , my theme for 2016! I actually feel great even though I did something to my back. Ouch Few dates with a guy named Glen. ..I felt we had potential even though I am not really drawn to him...then I got the "pro Trump " rant and I just can't fathom it anymore. I am. It that political. ..but Trump? Trump?

I might need to.mail order as they just had chocolate and vanilla on the shelf.

I went to my nearest Vitamin shoppe and they said the Cookies and cream is being phased out. they had chocolate and vanilla... I looked for other brands with that similar ingredient - the egg, the slow and fast release but decided to buy the chocolate matrix. I had it for lunch and it tasted WAY better than the first two tries, but I think I want to get some P2B or something. The most incredible thing is how filing these are!! Way more than the thin Syntrax nectar which always leaves me hungry. Even after all these years - many new tricks to learn. Thank you SteveHud and others. I am traveling to Mexico, did not want to check bags and so can't take my liquid premier protien and now I have a viable alternative!

During weight loss phase I ate 4-5 mini meals...no "snacking" but ate protein and ideally veggies every 3 hours

I think there are two reasons 1 If you start at a lower weight you will lose slower. I didn't have that problem as I revised at 300 pounds. 2. Years with a band teaches some people to get used to that feeling of full all the way up to the esophagus. I was very deliberate and and worked hard to eat till no longer hungry rather than seeking "full" My losses were as good if not better than average virgin sleever but remember I started out with a very high BMI

My arm lift was the one I feared the most (visible scars) but actually made a huge difference. I recall my son and his girlfriend meeting me at a "bar" a few weeks post op and her...omg...you are so much smaller ! Comment. I am top heavy by build so reducing that skin bulk was a big impact for me. They turned out great. I actually had no idea it was a problematic procedure.

I know I am the exception and I do not recommend this for others...but I stopped tracking about 4-5 months post op. I had a NUT who should probably be a counselor because she knew I had a history. ..had tracked on a and off since I was 8 years old. It was part of my history of failure. It scared me to stop but my losses actually accelerated. I really appreciate this thread because Andrews story of tracking , yet gaining is my freaking life story. Reducing sugar, reducing snacky crappy processed food has been instrumental. So, KEEP TRACKING if that has been your success story but the quality of food does matter too! I feel like I eat like royalty now - no cheapo lousy food for me and for the most part, I maintain.

I definitely receive as I mentioned. ... I struggle with identifing how I express. I suspect it is acts of service. Let's think about this...I financially supporter 2 men in LTR and today I care for my grown sons...love to cook for them etc.

@@Babbs I am so happy for you! !! I have an amazing life. ..more than I could have dreamed for given my childhood roots. I am blessed on ALL FRONTS which makes accepting my anxiety issue doubly painful. For decades I "willed" my way through life...and that was the hard path. It started with self honesty, then sharing with a few very trusted friends, and frankly now announcing it publicly. Naming the bitch has helped me tremendously. I have anxiety struggles for no reason except that I do. (We all have reasons but I have so much that it is foolish to focus on those pain points ). What I choose for myself is a different way forward. I don't swallow it, I don't bury it, I don't try to hide it anymore. What a relief! People say depression and anxiety go hand in hand, maybe, but anxiety is really a different thing for me. It is feeling "too much" which is why food and obesity were such a great mask..the. numbing. I am so much better and continue to live a better life over time. ..I wish the same for all.

I am sorry I didn't read the whole thread...so here is another stock reply. I have been maintaining 150#loss for a few years by making choices to help control hunger. Hunger is real, I was morbidly obese most of my life with a drive to eat that never stopped. Sweet food (Water melon)triggers hunger. Snacking, spreading food out like that, you never get satiated and you wind up eating alot. The solution is exactly what people have said. Eat Protein, dense protein FIRST, folowed by green type veggies. Do that 4-5 times a day. If you eat chicken breast and broccoli, are you really hungry an hour later? Water load BIG time between meals. I never get thirsty, but if I don't get enough fluids, I am shockingly hungry...coincidence? Then, there is head hunger, that desire to eat...that is a whole nother subject but also quite real. I guess I sound like a know it all, but all I really know is I spent decades in the 250-350 weight class and now hang out in the 150s....I was sleeves 4 years ago and I have learned that this "stock BS" actually works although it is not always easy.... Hang in there, keep working at it, make a plan, journal, set yourself up for success..you can do it!

You are NOT a failure and your honeymoon is far from over! You have gotten some really great advice from people here! I found 3 things really amped up my losses (this is assuming meeting Protein, Water goals) - 1) look for hidden carbs. In my case I found them in Protein Bars, some Vitamins, almost anything that comes out of a box. I get plenty of carbs by e eating protein and vegetable based diet, with low carb _protein drinks. Even fruit, is sugary and might not be your friend during weight loss phase. I am not a fan of milk for adults....as a doctor once told me "cows milk turns a baby calf into a half ton steer very rapidly, and has the same effect on people". Some of us are more carb sensitive then others but if you aren't losing as fast as you want, this is an area to experiment with. 2) calorie dense foods like nuts, Peanut Butter, too much cheese etc. Your tiny tummy can get alot of calories and carbs from those foods. Eat 100 calories worth of chicken, and you are satiated for hours - is that true of those nuts etc? Not for me 3) activity/exercise makes a difference. According to calorie math, it shouldn't matter much, but it does. I believe that more than the calories you burn during exercise, overtime it revs your moter up and you just burn more daily. I found higher intensity, shorter duration especially effective combined with an overall active lifestyle. You need to get to a reasonable level of fitness before you can go high I intensity, but slowly work toward it, results are amazing. Your surgeon is an ass, but it isn't about him...it's about YOU making it to your goals. I know you can do this!

second try didn't taste much better, but very Syntrax nectar powder is low cal, low carb but was never filling to me as a drink (well, not since I was a baby sleever!). as a cupcake, it is filling so I found a way to use it up. Maybe after that i will buy a different brand to see if the flavor improves any....

I read the book twice and found it very powerful. I can't imagine a class on it... but interesting. So, my two llove languages - basically tied for first place... I took the test twice, two years apart and basically got the same result: Words of affirmation Physical touch Damn, no wonder my two long term relationships with men of Nordic heritage who were raised to be quiet and physically reserved made me feel so "wanting". I just want a hug and someone to tell me they love me - apparently that is asking too much.

@@OKCPirate It is true that have had made some really good friends! My friend TM, we met on POF, never dated but did horseback ride, hike, we have camped together, I helped him look at reacreational property he wanted to buy etc and i was his "coach" - ha - when he was dealing with finding his current girlfriend of 2 years! I consider them both awesome friends and see them regularly, we go to each others parties and social events all that. Heck, my horses stayed at his place for about 4 months last winter even. I hope they both remain lifelong friends because I suspect they will be married before too long. My friend TI, we dated about a month I guess, never went anywhere, never got physical or anything, but mostly became hiking buddies the summer of 2014. We have since gone to comedy shows and plan to have another hiking season this year! We talk at least every few months even when we aren't tackling the cascade mountains together. We talk about everything under the sun - he is a physicist, but another non linear thinker and we explore the universe (verbally) whilst hoofing it up and down mountains. We both have knee, elbow and hip problems so we are quite the pair all "braced" to climb 2000-3000 feet to some alpine lake, just for the privelidge of hiking back down! My friend P, well, he wants to start a serious relationship with me now. We were both in transition when we met and were in the "just date casually" phase but that was a few years ago. He moved away for work which is the only thing that ended our dating, we talk on the phone all the time, I know all about his kids, his career, he knows about my life. He is a true friend - trouble is he is out of state and I am just not open to a long distance relationship. If he was in the area, I would start up with him in a heartbeat - good man, fun, funny and has lived such an interesting life - we love each other's stories. We went to a movie once and he told me the favorite part of the movie was my laugh. I think we will be lifelong friends, or at least I hope so! And then there is the man who was my lover for quite some time, who helped me find my confidence in myself, and helped me see my "value" on the dating marketplace so to speak. He was a person who helped me transform on the inside by his keen observations, and gentle but direct feedback. Seriously, gave me more insight about myself than any counselor ever did. There were oh so many reasons that could not develop into a lasting relationship, but I can honestly say we feel love and affection for each other. He contacts me every few months and it is difficult to stay away, but i do, because he is also unreliable, irresponsible, a little nuts, seriously way older than me and by far the most high drama person I have ever known and his world gives me stress. If I had to live with him - one of us would be dead in a month - ha! I can still feel the fondness while knowing there is no future.... So, all that is NOT a complete waste of time, you just have to realize you may not actually get what you are seeking... I should probably complain less and share more of the wonderful things that have happened as the result of my dating endeavors.

Desk job, and I took 6 weeks off. I also had breast and arm lift at same time... I was sucking down Protein and focused on healing - needed all of those 6 weeks off.

Dated a few "old skinny dudes" and they look "gaunt" even without WLS... jus' saying. Not everyone ages the same or as gracefully.... I love your plan to make sure hubby still recognizes you...teehee