CowgirlJane

This comes up on the forums from time to time and I honestly can't relate. I might be guilty of finding very obese people ...invisible, but if I make a personal connection, I feel compassion. I was at a live music dance with a meetup group. One of the men was very very large, barely walked with a cane. He was so obviously grooving to the music, that I asked him if he wanted to dance. He basically just nodded and tapped his foot to the music, but he was on the dance floor with everyone! I noticed after that, a few other women danced with him too. The way I feel when I see someone in his situation is i empathize and hope they can get the most out of life. I don't feel disgust or pity, but I do feel empathy because I remember how hard it is.

Or, maybe you are a lucky duck this is discovered and can be treated, I surely didn't get a liver biopsy with my sleeve!

My only real"horrible pain" moment was when I went home and decided to lie down in bed. Turns out the surgery had caused my ab muscles to be sore and that was a scream with pain, don't do that moment. My do over would be...start with the recliner. Christmas was 2 weeks after my surgery and I decided to treat myself to a bunch of Peanut Butter blended in my chocolate shake. My body was NOT ready for that and I"dumped" - thought I was going to die. So, I wouldn't have anything too sweet or high fat until things have settled down. Trust me, you don't want to experience that!

Are you taking a PPI for acid? Acidy tummy feels like hunger sometimes. Many people feel that "eating is a chore" thing AFTER they move to solid food so more like 4-6 weeks post op.

@@OKCPirate ha. There are exceptions don't get me wrong but for me a 15 plus year age difference is just too much.

I think it is normal. Those early months you need to eat food like taking your prescription medications - it serves to keep you healthy. This is your window of opportunity to change your relationship with food. My appetite returned around 8 months post op. Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I337 using BariatricPal

Same age, grown kids but still working. My gfriend and I joke that we are big hits in the 65plus crowd....but we'd both prefer men close to our age. Here is the reality - 50 yo man with a comparable income, fitness and attractiveness who doesn't have kids at home has his pick of 35 year old women. I am actually ok compromising on the age issue as long as he is fit and relatively healthy but reality of it is I am quite active and energetic - most 65 year olds don't keep up with me. I'd rather stay single then take on young children or pushing a wheelchair. Paradoxically based on the contacts I have received plenty of WAY younger men would love to "date" me. I'll pass on that too. Nobody under 40 should ever see me nekkid except for my handsome young doctor. Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I337 using BariatricPal

My bariatric practice changed their fluid recommendations....no drinking right after meals, but no problem before. I am not an extreme athlete but work hard around my farm in the summer. I can suck down huge quantities of water and then eat lunch no problem.

@@Oregondaisy @@feedyoureye Might have some info for you. Both very successful vegetarian sleeve veterans.

@@Erica517 you can google 5 day pouch test and find it for free. I personally can't do it - it is basically all liquid / Protein drinks and then you slowly reintroduce food. It really works, but too much suffering for me. the point is to hit the reset button on your eating. I follow low to moderate carb because carbs/sugars, even healthy ones like fruit trigger appetite in me. Watch the Protein Bars, they are often very high carb/calorie too. I had to quit Quest bars to help me get to goal back then. I believe that for many of us, eating good healthy foods, eating 3-5 mini meals a day (not grazing or snacking!), staying hydrated are the keys to appetite control. I got a bit over goal last summer, and am now under goal. Changes I made were drinking WAY more Water, eliminating wine (boohoo) and being diligent about my protein and carb goals. I am 4 years post sleeve and if i eat junk food, you would think I didn't have WLS. I haven't tried, but i bet I could do serious damage to a bag of cheetos for example. If I eat dense protein FIRST, I am much less hungry and am satiated on smaller quantities.

@@peytonplace Marsha, thanks for the reply. Posts go "poof" on me sometimes too, I have developed a habit of saving the long ones half way through... because the short ones never disappear...grrr Okay, i had a lower body lift, breast lift and augmentation and arm lift. More recently I had some work on my thighs, so no stranger to plastics! I discussed my butt with the plastic surgeon and he advised against implants for all the reasons you mention. i didn't really want that anyway. Some people get this procedure where during the lowr body lift, they use some excess ... skin?... to kind of fill out the butt. I know a couple of people who went for that - they loved the results but it was a painful and difficult recovery. And, it took like a year before they could sleep on their backs! Not worth it to me and surgeon didn't think it was worth it either. I know big butts are what is currently in, but don't really mind, and most of the time it isn't really a big deal, but this particular outfit, it was a problem. I am glad i did plastics, but, it is a big deal and not for everyone! I believe it is riskier and bigger surgery than bariatric. Implants can have long term complications. I always thought that things like arm lifts were no long term risk once healed (mine were awesome!) but someone on these forums has long term nerve damage from an arm lift.... like i said, consider the risks because living with a bit of excess skin isn't so bad... As far as the regain, you can find much info on these forums on this topic. For most people, what works best is going back to what worked for you in your losing phase. Going back to basics - Protein first, no grazing, stay hydrated, yada yada. i think it is wise to weigh weekly (as long as that doesn't trigger obsessiveness for you) because then you notice the 5 before it becomes 50. If you want more advice, ask away and I suggest reading the veterans forum as that seems to be "regain central" My general feeling about goal, maintenance and all that - it isn't really a destination, it is more like the lifelong deal. I try to see it in a positive light - i have skinny friends around my age, and they ALL watch what they eat to stay thin. Okay, they were never food junkies, so maybe it is easier, but my point is that we live in a world where food is pushed at us constantly... our brain is stimulated to want to consume it! You really have to work hard to keep cravings etc under control. I have discovered that WHAT I eat eithr triggers or helps control hunger. This is why I maintain a moderate carb diet - sugars, even in fruit and other healthy sources triggers appetite for me. As far as the phone app, does myfitnesspal look a little like the older version of this sites app? It used to be black, now the app for Bariatric pal is white background.

Well I would never wear a jumpsuit because of my big gut. I saw it on their clearance and I thought.... I don't have a big gut anymore, why not try it. It is very flattering - well, except the draping of that soft fabric over my butt makes it look even flatter than it is. If you have a relatively flat tummy, this type of outfit should look good. If i still had tummy skin, i am not so sure... all that draping... and it fits me looser than it looks like on the model so there is alot of fabric. The advantage for me is there is a bit of an optical illusion that de-emphasizes my upper body size - or more accurately, i just think it looks more balanced. I often choose slightly flared skirts etc to try to get some of that "balance" too.

So, last night I was out with a friend (yes, finally well enough to leave my home!) and I was telling her about this jumpsuit. She also has no butt, although she is in general skinny her but is especially skinny... anyway, she says "get the butt falsies"... pauses and continues "but the downside is if someone grabs your ass it could be weird" i found it hysterical because honest, having my ass grabbed has not been a major issue in my life...ha!

My GP told me I just needed the right cookbooks... yours is a rocket scientist by comparison. I got a new doc, was sleeved in Dec 2011, lost about half my body weight(150) and been maintaining last 3 years. I am not saying it's easy, and maintenance is a lifelong deal, but decades of dieting ( I am a WW pro!) never got me to a normal weight/ size and I couldn't maintain longer term.

my fitness pal is great - there are other nutrition info sites too just an example: http://nutritiondata.self.com/ If you are more old school, you can actually buy little booklets that have "standard" nutrition info for things like grapes, Beans etc - don't tend to be brand specific.

Form is everything when it comes to weights. Honestly, you get better results with either free weights, or with systems that use your own body weight as resistance. However, "machines" tend to be much clearer on proper form and less risk of injury mistakes due to poor form. I would like to recommend personal trainers too except i was doing INTENSE exercise and doing awesome, until I decided to hire a personal trainer. 6 weeks later I was injured and needed months and months of rehab due to his inexperience. One of the problems is that because I was so aerobiclly fit (at the time) he felt I wasn't working hard enough and would always feel I wasn't pushing hard enough. I am like - I used to weigh over 300# and have the damaged joints to prove it - so just because i am not red faced and huffing doesn't mean I am not working. As you can tell, i am now jaded on personal training! I have learned a ton about form from my physical therapist though, and I actually thought I was pretty well educated as I actually took a college class on weight training and have a couple of very good books etc on proper form, but she brought me to the next level.

Pre WLS, someone pointed this out to me... and it rang true. I tended to use food as an emotional ballast. So, I could do awesome on weight watchers or whatever sensible program for 3 months, maybe even a year or two... but at some point, it is like the underlying "need" just could not be met anymore and i would go back to including crap, and overeating quantities as part of that self soothing. A ballast, to bring my emotions back in balance. So, if that were the whole story, i wouldn't be maintaining my weight loss so long (I am 4 years post sleeve) so there is more. The more is the fact that I was HUNGRY 24/7. When I did weight watchers, i learned to stuff my self on lettuce and other "free food" but it didn't change the constant gnawing hunger. The sleeve at least temporarily reduces the hunger hormone. Longer term, it is my belief that getting rid of the FAT reduced my hunger. There is some evidence that body fat, especially belly fat, almost behaves like another (and unwelcome) organ that pumps out hormones etc. It is likely the reason that belly fat is associated with so many negative health issues like cancer and heart disease. Anyway, I do get hungry now, but it is more of a normal - I haven't eaten in hours, it is time to eat. PreSleeve, preweight loss I could eat a huge meal, and be ready to do it again in an hour or two. My sensors where out of wack. What is interesting is my son who is not obese, once told me that he can eat a limitless amount of food. He has had to consciously choose to not have seconds, not pile the plate high. One thing my years on weight watchers did is help me teach my sons better habits and they are slim (older) to average (younger) and escaped the obesity curse. My nieces and nephews, their cousins, are as a group absolutely obese to super obese - much bigger than their parents. One of my brothers has 3 kids that are normal size, but the rest of the cousins are very overweight. I think there is a genetic component that is either aggravated by lifestyle/how you were raised etc or not.

@@OutsideMatchInside Thank you - will check it out. I don't tend to wear shapers anymore because even though I had plastics, i still have some extra skin - especially my back - and it tends to "spill over" shapewear. These days I look better in bodycon clothes with nothing compressing underneath - I will look at them though! @@LipstickLady that is what I had in mind. Looks to me like they are phasing out though, could not find them anywhere (amazon etc) except on the spanx site and they no longer have all sizes. Your pal might want to stock up! I did order a pair in nude, perfect - thank you! @@JustWatchMe yeah the model doesn't have much booty, but for me, the way it draped, makes my butt looks flat, not just small. Jeans etc I don't have so much that problem....but I liked this well enough that I thought it was worth it to try to address that! Thanks everyone.

I have to add - I just reread the info on the website where they claim it is for errands, or dress up for a night out. If you live in NYC or LA or Paris, that might be true, but where I live, this is definately a dressier, not casual outfit. The fabric is nice and drapey but it looks more like a night out type thing than a "run to the grocery store" type thing. In fact, it is probably dressier than most people's "night out" clothes around here (it doesn't take much, just upgrade from a seahawks sweatshirt or a fleece and mom jeans and you are overdressed - ha!)

Okay, the standard advice is to follow what your NUT or surgeon tells you - but I can't help but pipe up and say, the instructions have been given are "non standard" and a little concerning to me. I still find fruit juices, especially citrus ones a bit hard on the tummy unless I have food too (a big no no of course) - and I am 4 years post op! I can't imagine having that acidy of a liquid (not to mention the sugar) so early out. I only had one dumping experience, and it was about 2 weeks post op, caused by me "treating" myself on christmas day by adding Peanut Butter to a Protein drink. I thought i was going to die. I personally would not risk sugary or super high fat either anything those early weeks based on my own personal very unpleasant experience. Seriously - it was bad. I couldn't handle Water the first several months post op. It made my tummy hurt and tasted like metal. So, what worked really well is warm, not hot, herbal teas. Herbal tea isn't really tea so there is no caffiene, is easy on the tummy and didnt taste metallic to me. I often put a dab of stevia in, but some of those herbal teas are so flavorful that wasn't needed. Soup is not very nutrient dense and at 3 days post op, MOST of us were advised to focus on water (or whatever you can tolerate that resembles water!) and Protein drinks. Protein drinks have protein, but for example, Premier Protein also has some Vitamins and i couldn't handle Vitamin pills early on either. I don't recall where I was 3 days post op, but I think I was still drinking out of a - don't laugh - shotglass! The whole idea was to get in a shotglass of Fluid every 15-30 minutes... the sip sip sip all day long to avoid dehydration. I think that those first weeks, you can't completely trust your stomach "feeling" right - I ate/drank by the clock and the measuring cup/spoon/shotglass since I had no idea if I was hungry, full, or anything. It was a difficult time, but it does pass! I personally was prescribed PPIs - an acid reducer - for the first few months post op and i think that is fairly standard as well. I was told that it takes awhile for the body to adjust and make less acid, to match the smaller tummy. I was lucky in that I don't have ongoing GERD/reflux problems so it was a temporary thing for me. I am 4 years post op, so I realize recommendations may have changed over time, i know all surgeons are different - so take all with a grain of salt. I went to a center of excellence and believe I received very good advice based on what was known at the time, to give best results.

Book arrived, and i have pretty much skimmed it cover to cover (although didn't read the stuff on small kids and other non applicable topics for me). although I did think there were some good nuggets in there, I found myself not relating all that well to the basic premise. And then, it hit me WHY. I don't have the same relationship goals and wants as he describes "all women wanting". Example, I don't think I will every marry again, and have mixed feelings about even living with someone at this point. Of course, that will likely change, but right now I would be quite content to find a fun, decent, reliable boyfriend that has some kind of chance of staying around. So, the book was worth it for me due to a few nuggets that did reasonate AND the internal clarification of what I want and how others might assume, as Steve Harvey does, that ALL women want the same thing. I guess i didn't find him as funny as other people do though....

Great list! i find at 4 years out I am less reliant on "specialty" products - yes I take my Vitamins, and do drink premier Protein and more recently Syntrax MATRIX (the only powder i can stand!). I aim for 80+ protein a day and I can't quite hit it without at least one Protein Drink a day. Premier goes great in coffee, or just drinking and MATRIX makes decent shakes and fun little "cakes" that I recently learned how to do for my dessert cravings. I find I am much more tolerant of pills now so choking down my Calcium citrate is no longer such a chore. I still have either gummy or liquid vitamins. i am suspicious of many of the drugstore brands of Multivitamins because SOME of them have such powerful binding agents that your stomach can't break it down and you pass much of it through. I don't know which brands to avoid, and I seem to do okay on my current program, which started back when i could not get pills down (or rather pills became a Meal Replacement since i couldn't eat and take vitamins). I seem to have Iron rich blood so have never needed to take iron. The must haves for me are more the protein sources and how to get reasonably unprocessed food with the most convenience. It is a balancing act because if I buy everything fresh and raw, it often goes to waste. I am not a diligent cook... however, there is prepackaged or freezer food from places like Trader joes and costco that are "healthier" and are not high in sodium, carbs, and other junk so many of those things become my "must haves". The blessing and curse of costco is they keep rotating what they have. Some of my old standbys are no longer available (like a particular turkey italian sausage) so i need to keep trying new things. I do think one of the keys is to keep an open mind about changing as circumstances change, but to always keep an eye toward complying with the "basics". The way you maintain is more or less the same way you lose weight, only you have a bit more (and i mean just a bit) wiggle room to have "extras" during maintenance.

What made this interesting to me, was the specificity. Like, actual examples of the experience. I have issues, but not these, which I find oddly reassuring. Really, i don't feel guilt or even really worry about what I have eaten. I am diligent in the sense that I keep a close eye, but I don't feel the desire to punish myself with excessive exercise, for example, if I eat more than planned. In fact, I view exercise as a tool to keep my body ready to do the stuff I WANT to do like hiking, horseback riding, snowshoing, cross country skiing etc. Exercise in and of itself is not really a big focus for me anymore, it is kind of like basic hygenie I guess. I had about a 10# regain this last summer and in the past I would have faced that with one of two approaches, both essentially panic responses: - what the heck, give up, stop weighing, buy bigger pants -panic, try some program lose 30# and regain 50 Instead, I stayed calm and decided first to focus on stopping gaining. I made small changes and stabilized. Then I thought, hmmm, what do I need to do to lose a few. I made some more small changes - going back to basics of course. I am back under goal again but it took several months. This was a low stress way to address it. what I also noticed was those 10# felt horrible because my snugger jeans wouldn't zip anymore, but nobody around me even noticed. It is not like the Earth stops rotating because Jane put on 10#... there is something to be said for putting these things into perspective.

When they diagnosed"stretched sleeve" did they indicate how that happened? A recent thread about someone with a "retained fundus" has put this in a new light for me. Essentially a surgical error. I was band to sleeve revision and so went to the most experienced of the surgeons at my practice. Due to the scar tissue they sometimes can't do a proper sleeve on revisions. I remember my surgeon teling me he thought I had a good "tight and correctly shaped" sleeve. I was coming out of anesthesia at the time so didnt inquire about what he meant, but now I think I get it. He was pretty sure he'd been able to remove the fundus and leave a banana shaped sleeve.

@@UK Cathy I am glad you were able to be with your mom on that important date. I never really get over the loss of someone I love, so I can really relate. I didn't mention thighs until I got there because in the photo consult he didn't think it was worth doing. It was when he saw how badly the cellulite pockets rub together that he agreed it really could be helped. Just didn't go the way either of us hoped. Based on how my left thigh looks, I think my end result will not be a thigh gap up high, BUT no long hanging blobs of skin and cellulite that rub together! Even though I weigh heavy for my height 5'5" and this morning 153, I don't really have that much excess fat so dieting doesn't help that area. I am aiming to get in the 145-150 range though! Went to a wine tasting (very small quantities) last night and it was great to get out of my house. I have given up wine, any drinking, for over a month now so I enjoyed those sips of awesome, expensive wine alot! My pal bought a $50 bottle of a really delish cab, I am buying the steaks!