CowgirlJane

I too have mixed feelings about young people and bariatric surgery, but then I saw your Bmi. I am telling you the honest truth, once your BMI is over a certain point.....I dunno, 50?... the obesity disease process has you in it's grip. You have a metabolic condition called obesity....and an advanced case of it. WLS is a tool that if used well, will help you manage your primary symptom which is excess weight. I think you should go for it. I also want to say as someone of the"benefit" of years, I would not have been as successful at your age as I have been. I know this to be true because I completely failed with my initial bariatric surgery. You really have to reach a point where you want it pretty bad. You have to be ready to shed the fatsuit - whatever the excess weight and over eating means for you.

Ok, I see the real problem here...You all are missing a great opportunity - talk while people eat...hahaha...captive audience. In all seriousness, my girlfriends don't eat much more than I do, that is how they stay trim.

i think you are wise to question this. Life experience has taught me that not all surgeons are experts on nutrition. When I was banded in 2001 I had no idea the importance of Protein and fell into the slider ( ie carbs) trap as it was easier to eat. It was very interesting, i weigh about 153 right now, and a friend is a dietician. She has not advised me on eating, but in casual conversation she told me that with my muscular build, I should be aiming for 80-100g of protien to maintain that muscle mass (which helps with maintenance). Another data point, I did a body fat analysis. the woman doing is a bodybuilder. She was way heavier than me, but smaller. she told me, I should have at least 100g a day along with a strength routine if I wanted to decrease body fat and increase lean muscle mass. I was sleeved 4 years ago, and was in the 300s. I believe that the higher protein target and low to moderate carb has helped me tremendously. Also, I was instructed to have 5 "mini meals" per day. I wound up settling on 4, but the idea was to eat "small" - stop before being "full".... eat to absence of hunger. Keeping portions small without grazing all day, it is a fine balance but if you can strike it you manage your hunger and keep that feeling of restriction for the long haul. i always tell people to listen to your surgeon - you pay him for his expertise - but this advice does not match my personal experience.

I tracked carefully for a period of time, and recongized I was letting small things in. 2 Quest bars in a day, when one would surely suffice. Crackers with meat and cheese.... and probably more crackers than was reasonable. Having half sandwiches for lunch, snacking on a nuts and other calorie and carb dense food. It's not like I was binging or anything... just was eating more than I needed if i wanted to keep losing. My ambition was to lose150#, so I felt a certain sense of urgency needed to make my goal. The last meeting I had with my excellent nutritionalist before she moved.... she told me I was sliding into maintenance unintentionally. She advised completely eliminating Protein bars since i was struggling with controlling the frequency and quantity. The other thing we talked about is I had to face my own... ambivilence. Here is what i mean - I had lost enough that I was no longer super obese, health much improved, people were wowed by my appearance etc. But I think I was still a size 14-16 or something like that. I was proud of what i accomplished, but i also recognized I looked a bit matronly and I still felt kind of safe, emotionally, with the fat. i had to ask myself what i really wanted. i think that self reckoning was more important than ditching the quest bars.... So, once my food was back on track, the losses returned to pretty good. Then, some folks on here started talking about High intensity interval training. I had become aware that i would do hours on the elliptical, did weight machines and the gym etc but I wasn;t really making leaps and bounds fitness progress. so, i tried my first spinning class. I found out why everyone put a towel under their bikes! i have long thick hair and by halfway through the class, my hair was soaked and dripping sweat on the floor. I learned more about HIIT and abandoned my old "low to med intensity" workouts in favor of the high intensity intervals, and shorter duration. That was like lighting a fire to the metabolism and I went back to losing 10-12 pounds a month again!!!! Of course, I was still very diligent about the low carbs and really managing my food because the food intake is really critical. I have always said I had to do hand to hand combat with the last 40 or so pounds and it is the truth... but i made it to my goal of losing 150# in 14 months, even with that lull in progress while I got straightened out. So, i think you do really need to decide what it is you want and what you are willing to do to get it. Not everyone just slides into goal doing the same old thing - we are all different. Many of us found ourselves off course... even a little can slow down progress. There are also plenty of people who are quite okay with losing say 100-120 when they need to lose 150 and i think that is perfectly valid too. For me, it was a lifelong dream to be normal size and I felt like that was my big chance so it was worth the push to make it happen. That is a very personal decision. I do think it starts with self awareness and diligently tracking for a period of time makes you much more aware. BTW, I am a rare one that does not normally track, I have learned to eat more intuitively, but that is a subject for another day. I think tracking is an outstanding tool - whether you do it all the time or more as a spot check.

I was busted trying to take premier Protein in carry on. Powders are fine. i recommend finding an easy to mix one that you can stand with Water.

Hi Julie, i always forget about the VIP lounge! I was not a successful bandster (that is what we called ourselves back in the day) but one of the worst things was the unpredictable nature of my restriction. Or, I'd make a mistake and a piece of lettuce would "block" me and then one more bite and I'd lose it. I hated it. This is not my personal experience with the sleeve, 4 years out. I eat the same amount as my 2 skinny friends... I don't stand out. Occasionally a date will wonder why I don't order a full meal, and I tell them I prefer smaller portions for health and weight management reasons. so far, nobody has been too concerned with it. One of my fallback dinners is from the appetizer menu... a shrimp skewer and maybe steamed veggies or a small salad. I go to places that prepare them well, flavorful and satiating. Wonder if you can find "an old standby" that you know will be agreeable to take the stress away?

I was cleared for horseback riding at 6 weeks. I figure if I can swing a 35 pound saddle onto a tall horses and then get on and ride around at alarming speeds you should be ok. I would be building up strength by walking before that, whenever you are cleared for that Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I337 using the BariatricPal App

Do you measure and track every morsel and sip? If not, I would spend a solid 2 weeks being very diligent about tracking. This data will be your evidence of how to correct course. It is my opinion that 2 months is way more than a temporary stall. My weight loss slowed to a crawl about 7-8months post op. I made a course correction and went back to steady losses and made goal in 14 months. For me, it was a good decision and I have maintained for 3 years now.

ok, to play the dating game, you need a much thicker skin than that! People come and go... for no obvious reason and lots of time I am glad they are gone. And,i have been flakey too - I just am not invested until I get to know somebody. The hard part for me, is once i am invested, i hate things to end even if I want it to end. i know that sounds crazy, but it is how i feel. i just started dating again, after taking a break. I met the first person last night and what was incredibly refreshing is my ability to be completely straightforward. We spent a few hours together and at some point we spoke about very genuine things. There is something to be said for just not worrying too much about one person in the early stages - there are like a lot more out there where that one came from. don't give up so easily and don't focus too early on one person because about 95-99% percent of them aren't a good match or it isnt the right time for one or the other of you anyway.

most plastic surgeons recommend silicone strips or tape for scars. pain in the butt, but probably more effective.

You are almost a year into this - interesting that she could look right at you and say those things.... However, I do think we get a little cocky too. I have learned that in some ways, WLS patients are a bit more vulernable to certain health issues. Or, as a plastic surgeon once said to me "not always as healthy as they look". i use that as motivation to keep up with my much hated Vitamins, hit my Protein targets and stay active because I DONT want to be one of those that faces degraded health 10 years from now. I am still really wanting to see a large scale study of life ecpectancy of WLS vs not; comparing people who say are obese iin their 40s.... and statistically what happens. I peronally know a few super obese people who have literally dropped dead many years before their time. I can't say I know any successful WLS patients with that same story.

I had something oddly similiar happen with a work colleague. ok, i have been with the same company for decades, some people i only see every few years so I KNEW there would be a lot of comments and attention. i felt that these people had accepted and been good to me when obese, so I had no bad feelings about being tolerant of their adjusting to my new look. However, one lady was over the top. So, after the first few encounters, i started to lose my good feelings toward the "I need to read your badge to prove it is you" or "this can't be real" or "omg, Jane was kidnapped and replaced by this hot chick". Its not that the words were that rude, but it was always in a public, professional work environment at alarming volumes. She frankly, was acting kind of nutty and it made everyone uncomfortable. Finally, someone ELSE told her to let it go, get used to it kind of thing. sometimes people just say things in an obtuse way and they didn't really mean it like that - it is more like shock. The reason some people giggle at terrible news, it is like an involuntary response. It probably says more about that person than it says about you. Anyway, what you will find, much like Ann mentions about the stages, is that this big change in appearance is an adjustment for you AND for the people around you. but, at some point in the future, people won't even remember. I dug out a "before" photo for my sons about a year ago. They were both silent. They both looked a little distressed even. One of them finally spoke up and said "I don't ever remember you looking like that, I knew you were overweight, but in my mind you have always been beautiful like you are now". People's brains and memories are a funny thing. I can hardly remember being like that too - it is like memories from another life. I self identify so much with my current look and body that it is kind of surreal for me to look at my own before photos as well.

I have had sleep issues much of my life... so probably not a good representative sample. I am fairly effectively managing my sleep problems now, but in general, I take better care of myself including better "sleep habits". I would love to sleep for 8 hours straight (and not require surgical anesthesia to make it happen!). In truth, i sleep about 3-4 hours, wake up and sleep a bit more. A bad night is when i can't get that bit more....

There are many aspects to a person - character, ethics, morals, thought patterns, behavior, insecurities... just many layers. I would argue that due to better thought patters, better overall health, fewer insecurities, less physical pain, it is has made more room for the good things. It is hard to be genuine in your everyday life when you don't like who you are at that moment. It is hard to be forgiving and giving if you don't completely believe in your own worth and worthiness. It is hard to feel joy for other people when your own pain is so encompassing Very few people have the courage to actually tell you the truth. I have an aquantaince from a barn I used to keep my horse at. She told me a truth that I recognize. When I was obese, I was always polite and respectful, would chat and be friendly in a superficial way.... but there was always a wall. After I lost weight, she told me that I put out this energy that made people just want to be with me, to feel some of that. I thought about what she said, and she is right... a wall that I had constructed over a lifetime started coming down. Due to my basic outgoing and extroverted personality, I think in some ways it was a bit of an untruth to be so guarded whilst being superficially friendly and outgoing. I feel like I am much more the real me now.

McD has always made ne feel sick. I think the right way to think about your experience is to ask yourself "if I am insatiable hungry again, what can I do differently? " guilt is useless, turn this into a way to practice picking yourself up and keeping going...only you have learned something here! The only way you maintain over the long haul is to become skilled at "just keep doing what works" and to learn from but not be tortured by mistakes. Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I337 using the BariatricPal App

It's more than the flavor, some of them make me feel icky. Like bother my stomach. Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I337 using the BariatricPal App

I don't think you will ever hear me say I am the "same". This is part of why it's so disruptive too, I mean I spent some time finding my footing. Not only am I half my former size I changed inside too ... and for the better. Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I337 using the BariatricPal App

I keep hearing about that "act like a lady, think like a man" book. Reading the reviews it doesn't really sound like my world view (the tired saw that all men are dogs). Hell, at my age I am pretty stoked to find a guy who matches my libido...but I digress. since what I have been doing is no longer working for me, I am gonna change things up even if I have some doubts about the underlying premise. The big mistake I make over and over is narrowing to one person too quickly, I lose interest in meeting anyone else. This has resulted in a few relationships over the last few years, none of them lasting more than 3-4 months and i am tired of it. (Not entirely true, had a pretty long relationship with someone who was supposed to be a more casual thing - weird, huh?) I realize this is starting to impact my feminine self esteem even though I have been just as likely to end things...more like I just am tired of getting to know someone, they impact my life and then are just gone. I don't take losses well, even unimportant ones like breaking up with someone I wasn't in love with. This wasn't my experience when I was young so I guess I am finally taking seriously the advice EVERYONE has given me and when I am ready to "try again" to avoid this pattern. What the heck, nothing to lose - I am going to do the thing where you see several people and wait for months before exclusively dating any one person. Is this what people call serial dating - a term that makes no sense to me bit I have seen in guys profiles "no serial daters". Me, I am just trying to avoid serial killers, I have very reasonable standards. Here is the thing I keep wondering about people who date 3-5 people (the members of the pool most likely change quite a bit until you find a serious prospect ) - how on earth do you have time? I mean I figure you need to see a person at least 3x a month so they remember you, right? That is alot of dates. Do you move toward going "dutch" in this situation? Men always pay for dates in my experience unless I specifically am treating them, but I would often cook or do things like that. I guess I am wondering what people think is typical. I am just trying to figure out how to actually do this thing I said I am going to do. Hope the book comes with an instruction sheet. I predict that I will start going to meetups, fire up an online profile etc in March. so far, getting dates has been no problem, but finding love has been quite elusive. .... I have another change I need to make but I am not yet sure how. I need to learn how to flirt better. I mean with complete strangers - I have this terrible habit of avoiding eye contact or smiling at someone I find attractive - I think i send out "don't come near me" signals sometimes. I am not a shy person so it is quite specific to men I find interesting, you know at the store or out at a dance or something ...maybe remnants of my history of feeling bad about my looks??? Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I337 using BariatricPal

@ LipstickLady it's occurred to me that there is some truth to that! Ok this one I photographed, hope you can read it Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I337 using the BariatricPal App

I am less concerned with them understanding...it's important that YOU understand. It puzzled me for decades how I could succeed in so many ways, but not manage my own weight and eating! It was very...cathartic to understand the obesity disease process. Do some research on this..it helps explain much of that irrational"drive to eat"...

I have been very successful with the sleeve but was a complete band failure. I can relate to everything you say. In hindsight I would say my failure was a combination of a procedure that didn't suit me, with me not understanding what I needed to do for long term success. I hear the same thing in your post. You lost the reflux roulette AND you maybe didn't have the right coaching/expectations/education. When banded, I overate to put out the FIRE and I didn't even know it was reflux/acid!! My number one advice is to not let shame keep you from seeking help. Don't just suffer through this alone....

I will post my thigh picks if the right one ever heals...I am over being depressed but it has kicked my effing ass. I am 5weeks post op, I went for a slow and easy 1 mile walk on tues and had to take Wed off work. Yeah, I am not healed yet ...it's incomprehensible to me...I guess I had been so lucky before. Denise, this is like your back stuff, took forever and a day, and we lose so much ground.... but, we can reclaim it! My primary personal goal for 2016 is fitness! That blue/print dress is like my surefire "date" dress! It is comfy too, but I usually wear it with dark hose because I get self conscious I guess. I only wear it for an evening dinner date... Georgia and Denise I finally braved the measuring tape..my waist is 2" bigger than it was at this same weight. I think it is the working out...sigh...soon, I am back to kicking ass and taking names! Weekend plans everyone???

Package arrived today, put em on and I thought....ehhhh, doesn't make much difference. Then I put on my skinny jeans and it's a good look! It's kinda weird th a that they go up so high compared to my jeans, but, it worked great. Thanks for the tip! BTW, stopped by kohls and all their shapers were designed to make the butt smaller so no luck there!

pepcid chewable is not a strong enough antacid in my non medical expert opinion. Most of us were one nexium or proselec during the first 2-3 months post op. Bummer about the kidney stones - I bet it has made the situation worse! I had intermittant nasuea for probably the first 10-12 weeks post op. Not the puking kind, but the "I don't feel good kind". I couldn't tolerate plain Water... really had to find things that soothed. Also, some food was hard to digest early on. I honestly didn't feel completely human again until about 3 months post op A couple of possible soothing ideas are to see if you can correlate this to an event - after eating or is it when you have an empty stomach? Time of day, do some foods or beverages make it worse? I found herbal tea, served warm was a soothing water substitutue DGL licorice is sold at Vitamin shoppe, healthfood stores, you kind of suck on it and it coats your esophogus and tummy. It isn't regular licorice. I know it sounds weird but if you put it between your gums and lip... like chewing tabacco, it slowly melts and coats I avoided steak and a few other hard to digest items until I was feeling better. Hope you get an answer and feel better soon!

4 days does not a stall make. I think most of us settled on having ONE official weigh in day of the week - same day, same time, and the little ups and downs in between are just normal. You have had very rapid weight loss, and you will need to get used to the idea that it will slow down.... I was very motivated to track and being a geek i set up a model in excel that I used to track, but also calculated weekly and monthly averages etc. It helped me alot to see that in the big picture, I was heading the right direction. In hindsight it also really shows how it was very rapid at first, then fast, then sorta normal and then.... it crept to virtually a halt. i wasn't at goal yet though - so that is when i needed to make some changes. Having a factual look at my data, trends etc - I was able to pinpoint when things really started going off track (in terms of steady losses) rather than getting caught up in the daily emotions around it.