CowgirlJane

I remain highly motivated and i guess since i am now looking into plastics I consider myself still on the journey even though i am told I am "at goal" by my docs. Here is the weird part. I get so much attention still. I like it, but it also can be overwhelming. I have a high visibility job and work with people from around the globe. Some of them I only see "in person" every few years so I still see people who are shocked at the transformation. For the most part I feel their loving support. Sometimes I feel... investigated like a bug under a microscope. I have decided to embrace this because like I said before it is pretty hard to hide losing 150#. I have gained and lost and gained before but i was always basically "Fat" so it was a matter of degree. Now, I am trim and that is new and different. People do not recognize me and when they do they are in a state of shock. What none of us knew is that under that fat I was kinda pretty.... so I stand out now and that never happened before. Sometimes i feel that the men in particular interest is a bit much. Like, you were a mere aquaintenance before and now just because i am trim doesn't give you a license to be forward with me. I guess i am still working that one out.

Weird. The last 5 pounds have come off my boobie but i DONT care, that is why i am getting a boob job! I feel and look competely hot...lol... enjoy getting thinner and ignore the people who aren't 100% positive!

Kara, Dr Billing removed my band and Dr Landerholm did my sleeve. Wonderful wonderful experience - I feel like those docs helped me save my life!!!

Hi there! I am in Seattle and have been doing consults with top rated surgeons here. My sleeve was Dec 2011 and I have lost alnost 150. They told me no reason to wait since I am basically at goal. No probkem to lose say another 15# except since I have little remaining fat they worried that health will be compromised. Bottom line although my BMI us 26.something they both said to stop losing. I am starting with lower body lift and boobs as surgery #1 I dont know anything about your doc, but our numbers are simiiar so thought I'd share.

I have been presented with these options. My backside isnt bad, but I could wear fitted clothes without the skin roll after LBL Curious how you decided to go for the LBL??? Doc said recovery isnt much worse than tummy tuck. Scar is bigger of course....

I have shared over the past year or so the many different struggles I have had with seeing myself accurately. I have had a couple of mental breakthroughs the last few weeks and I thought it might be insightful to some others who are struggling with the same thing. I am like 5# from goal now. I felt that my goal is high - it is like a 26 or 27 BMI and I kept wondering if I really should lose another 10-15 or 20 (or honestly is there a number that is enough?) amount less then that to get to a "proper" weight for my height. I have had some friends concerned about this because they keep telling me it is time to stop losing. I had the plastic surgeon tell me the same thing - I am at a good healthy attractive weight. Well, it is hard to believe that about yourself when the mirror keeps noticing every little imperfection. A few weeks ago I went to a trapeze party and yes I swung on a flying trapeze (terrified, but did it). The photos from that party made me realize that I am thicker then the 20 year old waif girls but thinner then pretty much every one over 40. I am fitter then most of them too. A good friend loaned me a dress for a work related 1970s themed party that I was so nervous about. That being dressed up and being SEEN. Well, the dress was a modest outfit - I went Saturday Night Fever theme. She is average sized and I never believed her dress would fit me. I slipped it on - a fitted medium - and it was pefect. No shapewear squeezing me in, i just fit a medium, fitted, nonstretch costume. Even I couldn't deny that it made me seem so... normal sized. Then, I went to this big work related event where I was declared attractive, not just by people who know and love me. For the first time in my adult life, I felt like an attractive, normal looking woman. It is such a strange thing to think about isn't it.... when you have always felt everything from lumpy frumpy all the way to huge. Last night, I was waiting for a friend outside of a restaurant and got a whistle from a passing vehicle. I was wearing a winter coat over my leggings and boots - hardly dressed provocatively. In my past, I would have assumed alot of different things about that event.... but this time i had to turn away so no one could see my smile. I am not invisible anymore. I am 48 years old and for the first time in memory, I am not invisible, I am not frumpy, I am not embarrassed to be seen. I dress nice, wear stylish clothes and shoes, do up my hair and makeup - I look better then I did when I was 28 when I was frumpy and dressed like I was trying to hide. I am shocked that my looks have held up so well to time and all the weight gain and loss but I bet alot of it is my attitude. I like me pretty dang well and just feel like I have finally given myself permission to shed the fatsuit. Yes, I still want to have that tummy tuck, but even if I never do... that will be okay too.

You deserve to address this, but remember - you are still you no matter what your eyes are telling you. Love thyself

Don't think of it as failure... think of it as another obesity related issue that the sleeve will help you resolve! Hang in there...

I dont vomit with sleeve, it was a big problem with band.

I am sorry to come across flippant - a GOOD nutritionalist is like a coach that can make this journey much more successful and also give a lot of tips and tricks. I was a miserable failure with the lapband and one of the many reasons is I didn't have that coach. The work is still on us, but the load is a lot lighter when you have an informed, considerate coach helping you along. I could not have lost nearly 150# in 14 months without her. I think the responses you get from people depend on where they are in the journey. How I felt at 2 weeks, 2 months, 6 months versus now - it has been a changing story. I have different challenges now at 14 months and within a few pounds of goal. I do remember that it was hard to get on to soft and then solid food. I do remember when it seemed like taking Vitamins and drinking Water were full time jobs. That isn't forever, that is a temporary challenge. There are so many people here that can help give support to get through all that, but it is really important to remember that you won't struggle like that forever. One thing that surprised me - I guess I just hadn't clued in to it is how much my "taste buds" changed. I used to love just plain ole water and even now I can hardly tolerate it. Oddly, that made me sad for awhile. then, I got thinner and didn't care anymore.

Puja, you made a lot of sense. I too am so happy but it is quite a mind bender at times too. I had to laugh at your remark about meeting new people and wanting to tell them that you used to be fat somehow - because they are being tricked into thinking we are normal. I laughed because I recognized that fleeting thought myself. Then, it took me aback - like wow, sometimes I really do feel that way - is it that old "damaged goods" mentatlity? I don't know but your post gave me something to reflect on. I have learned alot of things but one of them is that other people are much kinder, more accepting, more forgiving and I think in some ways more generous towards us then we seem to be toward ourselves at times. What I mean by that is that others give me hugely positive feedback on my looks and I am finally starting to believe them. I am far from perfect (hey the fatsuit days take a toll!) but I am pretty good looking in most peoples eyes. They are happy for me and THEY don't see me as being fraudelently skinny...lol. At times my inner compass about myself gets a little confused and that is when I am taking direction from good supportive people who care about me - that working toward even more self love and self acceptance. maybe some day unconditional? well... maybe that is too much of a stretch...

I know you aren't asking advice, but you need an excellent NUT who specializes in gastric sleeve. It is hard to adjust to at first, but now it is no problem... my NUT was my coach and inspiration during much of that difficult time.

hmmm.... lets see.... the frequent admiring looks from strangers. The getting hit on, for the first time in DECADES. There is the "wow, you are hot" remarks - that can become very burdensome over time. Uh, the perfect blood work and zero prescriptions, no CPAP etc etc. Let's not forget my older sister commenting today that I must really workout because my shoulders and arms look great (ok, this was in sleeves, so no visible skin). The horrible side effects of losing nearly 150 pounds... they just go on and on.

I have side by side pictures hung up where i see it daily - the current me and the former me. Whenever I feel discouraged about being imperfect (excess skin!) I look at those photos and it reminds me that I AM perfect...hahaha What I really mean is that I look great and to stop picking on myself! I think it is so important to develop a certain love, acceptance, comfortableness with the new body... imperfections and all. Normal healthy women do that and i aspire to join that club. I do plan to have that tummy tuck etc but I am working hard on loving me just the way I am too which is a little bit of a head trip. Like most of you, i too have sometimes struggled with recognizing me too! I carried alot of weight in not just my abs but my whole upper body. Built like a female linebacker i guess. Anyway, I don't look like that now and of all the things that confuses my little brain is my shoulders/upper body profile... I look feminine and not like a guy. Several months ago a friend pointed out that I need to stick that chest out and throw those shoulders back.... she was right I was hunching up trying to be smaller in the shoulders. Now, I feel like I am a normal, but athletic build looking woman. I love my "broad" shoulders and display my shoulders and upper chest proudly as an asset not the part to hide. Anyway, it is quite the journey isn't it!?!

I took all the Vitamins, was good with Protein etc etc etc and yet i too lost massive hair. In my case it was okay since i started out with too much...lol I have to say though that while it is scary at the time, as long as your nutrition is good the losing stops and regrowth starts. And then you get to goal and it is all just a distant memory...

I am 14 months out from revision. I have had great losses and the numbet 1 advice is small portions. Dont strive for full, shoot for absence of hunger. Dont focus on how much you " can" eat focus on small amounts. Eating low carb helps. Remember also that it takes time. A good NUT can really help.

I have lost almost 150 pounds - there is no keeping that on the "down low" not matter what you do or say. I had someone who hadn't seen me in a year greet me by saying "Holy Sh*t Jane" and then apologize for the rather unorthadox greeting. I have people that I see pretty often still struggle with even recognizing me. I wonder how it will feel when the constant comments and celebration stops - i am guessing i will miss it. On the other hand, I am really looking forward to the day when I no longer think of my self as perma-obese. What I mean by that is shedding not just the fat, but really accepting that being trim is my new normal. One of the reasons i want to do plastics is to remove the worst of the reminders... there is a part of me that longs to move somewhere new and start over so that I am just the normal looking woman that I am now - not the formerly huge, who the heck is that strange woman kind of reaction I get all the time now.

Ok, I did buy myself a mini cooper! It is perfect for the new mini me!!!!! I needed a car anyway...why not go adorable???? Fiddleman, let the Seattle contingent (me anyway!) know next time you play somewhere cool!!!

Thank you for sharing your "healing" photos - that was a dose of reality for me! I guess I didn't realize it would be that... well you know. Anyway, I am just now at goal and the first consult i went to he told me there is no reason to wait. I have a couple more consults scheduled so we'll see what they have to say.

Well, I approached this as letting the surgeon be the expert - I just picked one that has good results and a good reputation. I had no idea that I would be a lucky one to get TWO drains. it was merely a precaution as a band to sleeve revision I had a much higher risk of post surgical bleeding, leaks and other surgicaly related complications etc. I think the idea with the drains is that if there are issues they can monitor the stuff that comes out. It of course also gets the drainage out of your system. Plenty of virgin sleevers don't get drains and i think it is the judgement of the surgeon. Again, I view that we "hire" them for their expertise - none of them have crystal balls but they exercise their best judgment.

I can't believe I have missed out on this thread! Okay, I am one who actually enjoys this activity. I am dismayed to learn I should have been pretending to suffer through it..LOL Okay, here is TMI ~ since I eat so healthy now I find it surprisingly ... Salty.

Interesting. You didnt mention your hydration efforts, do you get your water in? I still have to work at it!

I love your ideas! You know, in a way I have been celebrating just about everyday on this journey. I already went flying on a trapeze (and from that moment decided I never want to skydive or bungee jump....lol) I went with girlfriends to buy designer clothes (the big Target thing) so I can actually fit in skinny girl clothes. Wow, that is a first in my freaking life. (warning I am a size 8 in most pants, but took 10s and 12s in the designer label so be forewarned if any of you are ordering stuff online). I bought cute heels. I feel like I have treated myself alot, but i just need a milestone event. I think I will throw myself a party because it is a very public committment to myself.... this is the upper end of my new weight range. I know I will always need to be vigilent and will likely have struggles.... but instead of bouncing between 250-325; I will be bouncing between 150-159..that is my plan.... it is a big committment and I will need all the support that I needed while losing that weight.

I constantly update my wardrobe... I feel a lot better in properly fitting and stylish clothes so that has sort of been my reward all along. I guess I am looking more to have an "event" or something. I guess i need to think about it....

About how many balls does this make? I wanted to calculate the protein/carbs per serving