CowgirlJane

I am sure that I will have many many ups and downs forever. one thing that was great food for thought is my boss who has always been a hot/fit woman. She still gains 10# and then has to fight to lose it. She is like "welcome to the real world" - the key is to keep up the dligence and not let a few pounds turn into a few dozen... or a hundred or whatever. My good eating, working out is paying off. this morning, i weighed in at 156.8 - so being under 158 is my goal and I am back there!!!

I was a band to sleeve revision too. for me, what "cemented" the decision was after that useless band was removed I discovered it really was doing somehting. My already insatiable hunger went completely wild. I knew in my heart that i was eating myself to death... i was over 300# and heading up. I felt it was a life and death decision. For me personally, this sense of "I have to make this work" is part of what has kept me going through the tough times. My life is completely transformed. I wear a size 8/10 and look like a "normal" woman. I am so glad I was able to get through my own fear and resistance to take this step. I am an advocate of not doing this till your ready, but I also recognize that fear is a normal response. I was absolutely terrified - of the surgery, of complications, of living on so little food, of actually becoming thin - you name it, I was scared of it.

I remind myself that I would have NEVER EVER had the confidence to ride my horse in a parade when I was so obese. This last 4th of July, I was rocking the princess wave! I keep photos of myself at my heavy weight too - this is to remind me of how losing weight has opened up lots of new exciting things for me!

Mine was two surgeries... which my surgeon encouraged me to choose, but, he was okay with trying for a single surgery. I had several reasons for choosing two and since I had no complications AND I eliminated all my doubts while waiting for the sleeve - it was totally the right decision for ME. I had the band for 10 years and it needed to GO pronto due to slippage and I just wasn't mentally prepared for the sleeve. 2.5 months later - I was eager to be sleeved. Realizing how crazy strong my appetite was with no band in place - I knew that I had no choice and needed another bariatric surgery. I think that being really sure was one of the things that helped me be successful. I think there are definately times when it is very clear for medical reasons that it should be 2 surgeries, but I wonder if it is really true that it is safer for most people. What I have been curious about is are there actual studies that show evidence of higher complications when it is done in a single surgery? I haven't been able to find any.

Are you having symptoms? I think everyone of us at one point imagined we might have a leak...

Don't know how I missed this thread, but i need to check this out. I have done really well at maintenance, but recently gain just a couple of pounds since I wear my clothes "fitted" my jeans are now feeling tight and I simply REFUSE to buy bigger ones. I am also of the mindset i don't want to diet, but I LOVE being normal weight and damn if I am going to allow a significant regain!!! So, hardcore what ever I gotta do.. here I come!

What is banded plication?

I really struggled with the band - it was a long 10 years. I weighed 272 when I was banded, never got under 200 and eventually got to an all time high of 332 - all with the band. I have done alot better with the sleeve - more hunger reduction, no pain, no reflux, no food restrictions (after the initial 3-6 months). Maintenance is tough. really tough. but, i think that is true of all WLS I consider the sleeve to have helped me "save myself" from a slow death by disability and obesity. I feel 20 years younger with half my weight gone.

I am struggling more and more with this.It used to be that gum, or a Protein drink (low carb) or a cup of coffee would just kill the desire to snack. I am not having that good of result anymore! I have to keep all protien bars out of the house, out of my life as they somehow quickly turned into junk food. I was having like 2 a day and the thing is - that is just too much carbs/calories. Protein drinks don't have that same effect on me (I use the preimier protein drinks or the nectar powder - all pretty low carb). anyway, i am struggling right now. grrrrr

I have been at goal since Feb and maintaining well. My 15 year relationship (not married, but together as though married) ended fairly recently and I am finding it to be an interesting challenge to go through this without food as comfort. I haven't talked about this before because I guess I wanted to think about it a bit and be a little more objective in sharing my feelings. Oddly, in an old pattern he bought me ice cream to make me feel better. It was a 6 pack of skinny cow ice cream sandwiches which i polished off in 2 days and didn't feel any better - just goes to show that food wasn't that good of a friend, was it? Also goes to show I can still try to abuse food and must remain very diligent. I am hungry alot, but often find that if i just focus on drinking Water and getting Protein, I am okay. I also need to tolerate that it is okay to feel hunger - I won't die from it. So, alot of people talk about how losing weight causes breakups. In my case, it isn't quite that simple. We have been living more as friends, not so much a couple for 4-5 years and i guess I had a fantasy/dream/hope that losing weight would reverse that and we would go back to being more of a couple again. That didn't happen, I couldn't make that happen - so the losing weight connection is that as a thin, energetic and vivavacious person, I simply can no longer tolerate the status quo. I finally forced the issue and the way things happened, i guess that even though I did the "break up" in reality, it happened a long time ago, just quietly. Maybe I was the last to know, I am not really sure. It has been a low drama breakup, we are still very supportive of each other, and in spite of the ice cream incident, he is wanting me to enjoy life more fully as a thin person. He is encouraging me to have a full social life, date, do fun stuff. During my weight loss journey, my partner was supportive of me... sorta. Meaning, he helped me during the recovery and certainly did not actively discourage me. I would characterize his response to my weight loss as indifferent. After losing 125# I finally asked him if he noticed, if he had any "reaction" and now in hindsight i guess I understand it a little better. He was happy for me, but it didn't impact him that much really. It was hurtful at the time, but I guess just another sign that this relationship was already pretty much dead, not even on life support. So, I am venturing into the dating world a little bit. Interesting experience. Luckily, I have a high degree of self confidence and all that so not freaking out so far. My thing right now is to go out on a few dates, but not really looking for any sort of replacement in my life. Those that follow my story know that my excess skin is a bit of a cosmetic bother to me, so for example I wear sleeveless dresses with a little jacket or sweater. You know the big surprise - I dated someone for awhile and revealed some of that ugly skin and his reaction was like "what's the big deal? you are very pretty". Turns out that even with the excess skin I am still looking pretty good compared to average women my age..hahaha. who knew. I guess the main point is that being fit, being happy, being confident is attractive and a little extra skin is more of a deal in my own eyes then perhaps it is to others. I have had girlfriends tell me the same thing... I have an action packed summer planned - trips almost every weekend etc etc. I have a younger horse to ride (borrowed for now) since I was riding the fur off my old wonderful horse. I plan to buy a mountain bike,... and maybe even a road bike. I just want to DO stuff right now! I feel so good I am just wanting to suck in as many experiences and activities as possible. Then, I plan to get plastic surgery in November - and my ex (who is now my best friend??) still plans to help me out with the recovery. I am thinking 2014 is probably the year to be thinking about new relationships in my life....for now, probably just too dang busy. some recent adventures attached...

So, here is what i am finding. I am active, I am not trying to maintain a "skinny" weight - just a nice normal looking size medium weight... and yet, I really cannot eat junky food AT ALL. I have to keep portions of even healthy food moderate. I do sometimes have carby foods, but on a daily basis I am definately in the no Pasta, no bread, no rice, no potatoto mode. So, my conclusion is that for most women, over say 40, to maintain a "normal" weight requires activity and a pretty controlled diet. This is the reason that when I walk in the grocery store, i notice I am "thin" compared to many women my age. It is hard to keep this weight off when the body;s metabolism slows down.

I had some discomfort fromt he band removal - that port area was sore for along time. It also felt weird.. basically there was a hole there that took some time to fill in. The sleeve recovery was hard though because in the first month or so it is hard to stay hydrated. I was wiped out. However, it was so worth it - you can't even imagine how good it feels to be about half my former size!

I used to love plain ole Water. Post surgery I found it metallic, weird and basically undrinkable without some kind of additive. Now, it is "ok" but i don't love it anymore. I mostly drink "sugar free beverages" like crystal light etc. but if served tap water, I can drink it. I wish I loved water still - I think that is probably the single biggest negative long term side effect of this surgery for me, but, i am not really complaining.

I read somewhere ... and I don't remember the quote exactly... but basically that "I have the disease of obesity and by losing weight I am merely managing the primary symptom. I will always have the disease of obesity and will need to be forever diligent that the weight doesn't return." My maintenance is going fine, but I do so much feel this is a true statement - like the weight will just fly back on if I don't remain vigilint. I don't want to make newbies too scared, this is different then "dieting" ever was - I still have my sleeve. What I am trying to say is that it is no freaking joke - you need to make permanent lifestyle changes and it is hard!!!

I have been maintaining within a few pounds of my goal since Feb 2013. It's hard My goal is not super skinny either. Part of the reason I picked it, is I felt it was more realistic to maintain and because the bariatric surgeon and 3 plastic surgeons all advised me to stop right here. I would like to weigh 10-15# less, but frankly I don't know if I could do it without really dieting. Then, I fear I couldn't maintain. so, I will probably only lose about 4-5 pounds with the plastic surgery so I will be staying in the 150s. Works for me - I am a solid "medium" and you know all I ever wanted was to be normal.

I had no complications. According to surgeon revisions have "about" double the risk of leaks and excessive bleeding. So, if leak risk is around 1-2%; for revisions it is still single digit but much higher. For me, the risk was worth it because I was dying slowly being so obese.

Well, I haven;'t had plastics yet and share some of the same fears. I started out over 300# and am at goal now. I personally would use compression garments to hold the skin in and wait and have a tummy tuck (ie that is more then skin removal) when at or near goal. I think it helps to join online forums focused on plastic surgery to become more educated as to what to expect. I actually plan to have a lower body lift, boobs fixed, arms and thighs - but not all at once.

I lost 150 pounds, did alot of exercising. I look awesome in clothes, and yes, I have extra skin. Exercise does not shrink skin but makes you more toned looking. How bad the excess is depends on many factors BUT the main thing is don't let this fear interfere. Being thin/trim with extra skin is 1,000 times better then being obese.

I remember when i started getting serious about this whole sleeve thing, I became obsessed with it. I read every forum, tried to read every study, every whisper of info about my surgeon - EVERYTHING. It was on mind mind pretty much constantly. In the end, I made peace with finding the "just right" surgeon for me and was able to put it all in his hands - i was still scared as crap, but I was no longer questioning what size bougie should be used or how he should oversew the incision line. I had kinda forgotten that but now that I am zeroing in on plastics, my obsession is renewed...lol I am completely committed, I understand what needs to happen and how to be successful but it is like every surgeon has some little variation on their recommendation and I belabor it as though I am the one going to be performing the surgery myself. Since I haven't gone to medical school or done a residency, I am thinking I really should leave the technical decisions to the surgeons - it worked pretty well for me with the sleeve. For the love of heaven, what i am doing to myself? I have had people tell me that it means I am not ready. I don't think that is really true - I think it is part of my mental illness process that i need to go through to be ready. Over the last 2 months I have cycled through so many different things - worried about this or that. I think I have settled on the ultimate things to be worried about and am focusing on rational fears now...lol. Right now, I know I have picked a GREAT surgeon who has been doing it forever and who has great results. I am worried about how much freaking money it is going to cost and I don't like needing 3 surgeries. Those are rational things for a patient to think about - I have moved away from obsessing on their surgical approach. I haven't made the final committment to her and so I am checking out a few last minute options due to those concerns but i know that even staying with her, I have made a good choice from the "A" list. I am also super excited. I dream of the day I can wear sleeveless dresses. I dream of the day I have boobs again (lost em over the last 10-20#). Can you imagine being able to do pushups and not being afraid to look down at tummy and thighs...lol? How about wearing dresses without needing pantyhose to keep the knees from being wrinkled? My surgery will be staged over multiple ones so I don;t get all that at once, but I see the ultimate goal. Not perfection, but a normal body where my hard work and level of fitness will be more visible - at least to me. Over the last several months my level of "focus' on my body image and dismorphia has improved ALOT. I feel pretty normal in clothes most of the time. I no longer feel hugely fat, I think I see myself correctly which is that I look like I have body fat where I don't because loose skin looks pretty fat. I feel happy with being at my goal weight and with my level of fitness - that has improved alot. I have hope that someday the plastics will just be a distant memory too and I won't be thinking about my body so much.

Mine is coffee. So far I have hidden the extent of my depravity from loved ones. I see different baristas so none of them are the wiser. I even brew at home... who really notices if it is one cup or three? I make light of this but I find it curious how much I want coffee ! I used to take it black, now I need cream and sweetener. I used to have a few cups in the morning now I have to tell myself NO even in the afternoons or else I would drink it all day long! I have heard of addiction transference ... Also, I suddenly stopped listening to NPR and now only listen to country or rock music. I might be going over the edge!

Well, the before picture looked better then I did.... the after picture is probably not as good as I look now (with clothes) but looks better then i look nekkid due to the extra skin. Even so, I am a hot mama these days in clothes; at least according to the old guys oogling me these days.

I had a friend who did this after losing 100# on weight watchers. It was so hard to work with her - she became a queen food pusher and in many ways it ended our friendship. I was struggling so much to not overeat - and there she was with huge quantities of food being brought into our work area all the time. That was a few years ago and she has since regained her lost weight.

I started seeing a counselor - focused on some relationship/family issues. Anyway, yesterday she asked me, on a scale of 1-10, with 10 being estatic - how have you felt overall the last 30 days. I said 9.5 Okay, maybe that is an exaggeration, but I really do love life as a normal sized person even with my extra skin, return of hunger and the drudgery of maintenance. Curious how the rest of you would rate your happiness?

Ok there is coffee and there is the crap people add to it. I am talking about coffee!

I was told that my lower body lift (tummy tuck that goes around) would only loose about 4 or so pounds.... I think it is quite rare for someone to lose 15-20 pounds from a TT, but i do hear people saying that.