CowgirlJane

thank you - this was a very powerful post. "I am not looking through rose colored glasses anymore. I need to eat like a bird and cut out the refined sugars and I don't drink enough Water. I know what needs to change and I am slowly. " I am a newbie - only 18 months out. I have been in maintenance since Feb 2013 and i just want to say how powerful this sentence was to me. This feels like my world too. Going good so far, overall, but I too struggle at times. Also - someone mentioned Iron defiency. Well, I am only 18 months out but my iron is above average and I don't take iron supplements. There are alot of different experiences.

Thats it. No big news...just happy. Finally got my "cruiser type" bike fixed and bought a used mountain bike (both from a bike hobbiest guy who custom fitted it just for me). Best $50 I recently spent. I went for a little ride last night and thought "wow - this is alot easier at 155 then at 300+++.... LOL. I am going to do another little ride after work today. Tonight, i am meeting a friend for a horseback ride. Okay, i do that alot, nothing new, but I just can't believe how "full" my life is now. I look back at the person who tried to be active but often sat at home watching TV because the body couldn't keep up with the heart and desires.... It makes me happy to every day be living the life I want!

For me, the hardest part is just how careful you need to be. Diet for the rest of my life - hell yes. If i wasn't careful, I would be regaining.

Oh, and how did you fare traveling alone?

Thanks for sharing so much Michelle that really helps. I am like that lady - need the works only not an anchor cut, just the regular lower body lift. If I did all my procedures at once, which Dr S said I could do - the recovery really scares me. I will be curious how you feel in the coming weeks. I know that the lower body lift is the hardest recovery and i fear combining it with the thigh lift because you can't sit! Anyway, I am pretty much decided to do LBL, breasts and arms and do the thighs as a separate surgery later. I am so happy for you that things went well and you are already recovering so well.

Sorry, duplicate message posted

My internal dialog today is not quite like that... but I am feeling anxiety. Sometimes I realize that food used to mask alot of things like that. I went for a walk, I have tried everything and I still feel this restless feeling. i do hope you can see yourself in a more positive light - but i know the struggle. I know it is easy for me to say, but how can you possibly feel like you are "so fat" - you really really are not.

I think alot of us went through emotional turmoil even when our surgeries went textbook perfect. You are a survivor and what I most admire is you are seekign the help you need. Good luck, hang in there and I promise promise promise it gets better.

Thanks for posting so many details Michelle. I am "struggling" with the plastics decision becuase I REALLY WANT TO DO THIS, but am terrified. I am shooting for a late Oct/early Nov timeframe and am waffling a little on whether to go to Dr S or go to a local surgeon. My local surgeon has amazing and I mean amazing before and afters. It also costs like 3X as much and... well, we all know about the after care situation in the USA. You go home that same night and have to be driven back for you frequent checkups. In Mex, they keep you in the clinic for a few days and then you stay in the hotel and the nurse and doc visit you! There is a part of me that feels like Dr S is a perfect solution for me, but I somehow haven't quite settled my mind on that decision. I guess i hate that I haven't actually met him even though everyone tells me how wonderful he is. You know what else I am wrestling with? General anesthesia makes me SOOO sick and Dr S uses the twilight sedation which is so appealing. When I mentioned this to a local surgeon he explained to me why most surgeons use general anesthesia and then I realized you do take some risks with the twilight - namely the fact that you are not "dead out" so you can move while the doc is cutting (meaning, there is a risk that could happen). yikes. anyway, I really appreciate any insights that might help me feel confident with my decision to go to Mexico or help me decide to spend a crudload of money and stay local. I need lower body lift, breast lift and aug, arm lift, and inner thigh lift. I want to do it over 2 surgeries though - will do thigh lift later since I know that can be a tough recovery. The lower body lift is also tough so I decided I want to do them separately.

It is my belief that you basically cannot avoid at least some vomiting with the crapband. With the sleeve, if you are doing alot of vomiting, there is something not right in my opinion. You should investigate if you have a stricture or something OR you should really check on how you are eating. I have vomited maybe 2-3 time with the sleeve - it was back when I got wound up and ate too fast. I went through a rough spell about 6-8 months out when I was doing some wrestling with my food addiction. It was hell... it was like real vomiting. I never want to do that again...lol. I am 18 months out and have been maintaining a 150# loss with the sleeve since Feb. I don't vomit. I don't abuse food anymore. I think most people can avoid vomiting with the sleeve without a lot of effort...

Thank you all. I want to especially thank you who recognized what a great doctor/practice I chose. I went to Puget Sound Surgical Center and feel like they really brought so much together for me - not just the surgery, the whole education and support "package" that I felt I needed. It was a Godsend to literally stumble across them after the first surgeon I went to told me I should get the rny since i failed with the lapband. I wrestled with that and then ruled out the rny and was exploring nonsurgical weight loss solutions when THAT center told me to talk to the good docs at PSSC. I have been at times quiet about singing their praises because there was a very active poster on VST who went to that center and had a leak. She did not have a positive experience and unleashed alot of her frustration and anger right here on this forum which tended to make me sorta feel ... well I don't know how it made me feel. Without disrespecting her point of view, my experience was over the top positve and I think the surgeons were awesome and I trust their integrity and committment to their patients like I have never trusted another doctor. I honestly feel that I had good results because I went to them - I don't know the nuts and bolts of why - maybe surgical technique, alot of hand holding and a huge amount of education combined with really believing in me. Somehow, that team was just exactly what I needed. Anyway, my level of gratefulness is probably so off the scale because i failed with the lapband and failing at weight loss after bariatric surgery is a heartbreak that I hope no one goes through... it is emotionally devastating and makes you question yourself. You question your own abilities and mental health at a pretty freaking deep level - like what is wrong with me that I can have WLS and still be fat? To be finally free from carrying around basically two people (I lost 150#) is both a release of a physical, but also emotional burden.

Love the picture! I have to tell you a funny though - I recently started "dating" and I told my good friend that the first thing i had to get over was just how old looking men my age are...hahaha. I think we all suffer from the whole "wow do I look old - what the heck happened to 29?" feeling from time to time. For me right now, it is the back of my hands, I feel like a granny or something with all the veins and ropey looking. We just have to not be so negative about ourselves!

I went through some tough times on this topic myself. In the end I concluded that I saw myself pretty harshly - more so then others see me. I looked at my face in the mirror, and i felt so old looking. Yet, I constantly get unsolicited feedback about how young I look (I am 49). I think that losing massive weight is emotionally traumatic in some ways. It is a very good thing, but it is a real shocker and for some of us, some feelings of self doubt and perhaps even self loathing surface. I would advise everyone to try to focus on the positive and to realize that with time it really does get better. I lost 150# - nearly half my body weight - so there is no denying i need plastic surgery to have anything like a "normal" body however - I am not that bad! I look pretty ok in clothes. i look like a normal healthy woman. Out of clothes, well, I don't look good but i sure as heck look better then when I was morbidly obese. Although my face at times looks drawn and old by my eyes - according to people around me I look way younger... i have heard repeatedly that losing weight took 15 years off my looks. I am thinking that is good, since I think it added 15 years to my life!

I have found this topic to be fascinating. I am only 18 months out but already recognize many of the maintenance challenges. I feel like the line between maintaining and gaining is a very very fine one. Like it doesn't take much... My doc made a comment that he heard from a maintenance patient - that "Fat people will always be my tribe". The meaning is that we have the disease of obesity and losing weight just means we currently have good control of our symptoms. Never ever forget that for most of us, the body is just pulling to become obese again. I think this is especially true of women who are post menopausal, but in truth it applies to probably everybody on this forum to some degree. What gets me is I have a girl friend who weighs about the same as me, she is about my height. I am way more active and she eats at least 50% more, but i think actually more then that as she tends to meter her eating around me. I spend alot of time with her on weekends and she has told me her weekday eating routine (daily hot mocha, daily pastries in addition to "meals") I watch carbs, she does not. We are both maintaining our weights... The differences besides our genetic makeup, she is a few years younger and not in menopause and she has never been morbidly obese. I am not sure I believe in "calorie math" at all. In otherwords, there is something genetic, something efficient about some of our systems that we just glean more nutrition from food or we seriously just don't need as much as "normal". It is the "famine gene" or something like that because it simply defies logic otherwise.

I have been maintaining since Feb, but recently had a small regain that kinda messed with my head. My goal is 158 and try to stay under that, but really due to the daily scale bounce I kinda consider 155-160 my goal range. Then, when I saw 163 on the scale I about had a heart attack. Combine it with the fact that I am not working out in the gym, but doing summer activities instead, I am not quite as "dense" and my fitted jeans feel.. snug. That all made me feel icky and unattractive even though i knew that it was small and really only noticable to me. So, i went on a business trip last week and saw someone I haven't seen since August. He didn't recognize me and definately gave me the "once over" with the eyes and the "wow you look great". It was like the boost i needed since I often eat too much and wrong things on business trips. It was a reminder that I haven't gained 100#... I have gained just a few pounds and i can fix this. So, this morning I weighed in at 159. Thank goodness! Anyway, this maintenance stuff is hard because i keep having the feeling like it could just all slip through my fingers. I am seeing a counselor and her advice on the tiny regain was to just "be okay with it" for awhile. I followed her advice as best i could which did avoid the whole stress/guilt eating cycle. I can't be relying on people to keep giving me the "wow " speech to keep my motivation up I know that - but it was a boost that I sure needed this week.

I used to wear a size D, probably 44-46 band size. I now wear a 36C, BUT, the cup part is mostly skin... sadly. I don't want large breasts, but i do want actual breasts and not just skin I stuff in a bra so I am getting implants and lift later this year.

I started at well over 300 and when i got to 200 I sorta lost my focus too. I eventually realized it was because I needed to really rethink what I wanted in terms of a goal weight. At some level, i had some resistance and fear about losing more weight. At 200# I could be active and enjoyed life, but was still using fat as some sort of emotional protection. Once I faced some of those issues internally, I could get back on track. Yeah, that, and going low carb is how I got to goal.

I am at goal; I was a band to sleeve revionista! During the process, the NUT told me that I lost at a good rate/as expected even for a "virgin sleever". she told me that indeed many revision patients do lose slower. The main theory is that the lapband teaches you how to eat sliders, and that you develop a tolerance for a "packed esophogus". Basically, to survive the lapband you learn things that can cause you to have less then stellar results. my view though is that we can use our minds to overcome this "disadvantage" and there are advantages to previous experience - so it can be a forumula for amazing success!

To OP - are your going to Dr Sauceda? Are you a member of the FB group and OH groups? LOTS of people travel there alone there is so much after care there!!! Thanks for posting the TJ options, his photos do look good. Is there a way to learn more about this doctor - a patient group or anything? I am planning my plastics for late Oct/Nov and my family is pushing me hard to stay local - but I will say that when you go to Mexico they keep you there and you actually have nursing care. All the consults from the USA - all outpatient go home the same day. That scares me!

Okay, this is a sensitive subject but I what I will say is we judge ourselves much much much harder then potential partners do. I have a boyfriend who didn't know me when I was heavy. I made a big deal out of warning him about all the ugly skin etc.and it seems it is a much bigger problem in my own mind then his. So, during the weight loss journey you go through a lot of head games - be patient and let your brain catch up with your body.

Okay, I like to "pay it forward" - lots of people helped me and I would like to help others. The best way i can do that is simply ignore 99% of the newbie posts since there are people who are in the still excited phase all happy to answer their questions. I reserve my enthusiasm for people who are high BMI, especially Band to sleeve revisions. There were a couple of people with that profile who inspired me - I am not sure I could have faced my fears without seeing the success of a few of those people and I would like to share that with others. On the subject of getting on track/getting to goal. My personal experience is that going low carb is the key... calorie counting has never ever ever worked for me.

I believe that the eating fast is the contributor. I said I never vomit, and that is true, but i would say during the first year I probably vomited 2-3 times. Every.single.time it was due to eating too fast. I eat slowly and delicately now.... it is also what keeps me from overeating since I no longer weigh/measure food. People don't guess I had weight loss surgery, they just think I am a fussy eater...LOL... me??? When I had the lapband, even with NO fill, certain foods (rice the main culprit) made me vomit 100% of the time no matter how slowly I ate. Most foods I could eat endlessly though - that is why i hated the band so much. It was like a torture device. What I can tell you from 10 years of vomiting is that it isn't very good for you. Luckily I didn't do it so much that it caused me permanent damage, but if you are a regular vomiter, be aware that you can get problems with your esophogus etc.

I have been going through a metamorphisis at warp speed ... and let me tell you a few things I have experienced. I am 49. Last time I was normal weight, I was 21-22 and that only lasted about 5 minutes. I remember I got alot of attention as I was considered attractive and it freaked me out. Last time I was just "heavy" and not hugely obese... I was mid to late 20s. It has been a long time since i have "looked" like an attractive woman. As I lost weight, I felt sadness by how much time I had lost, how ugly I am, how old I look... all that. I had a period of a couple of months when I couldn't stand to look at my face in the mirror without noticing all the signs of age. Guess what, none of that is true! I find myself single again and once I got over the shock of how old looking guys my age are...hahaha... i found that I am considered reasonably attractive, most people think I am younger then I am and so far people don't freak out at the fact that i used to be obese and lost alot of weight. The point of my story is that we are our own worst critics, and your own attitude and personality are a huge part of your beauty. I am so happy and feeling so good that many people have told me that they sense that, they feel it and read it and it is attractive to them. Don't get hung up on what might have been so, quit feeling sorry for the past and start thinking about having the very best RIGHT NOW and FUTURE you can!

NEVER! As opposed to 10 years with the lapband where is was a regular event even with no fill.

Love your results! BTW, I have consulted with 5 surgeons, and they are no longer recommending that long of a wait... but, in my case I will have been at goal about 9 months when I have my surgery.