CowgirlJane

For me... carbs is the key and more important than calories. Having said that, you are still really successful! congrats!

This topic will get a much better discussion in the post surgery support forum and really should be posted there. The veterans forum is more for topics concerning people who are further out from surgery. But, you are doing fine!

so much great info and support in this thread. I wanted to share thoughts on a different angle. My boss is a red hot chick (in her late 50s) whose weight bounces in a 25-30# range. Sucks but the key is she never lets it become 50 or 150# - she works that "gain " off every time. Normal people struggle with weight and the formerly obese have it even harder... but so it goes. Just.don't.give.up. Thats my plan anyway.

Thanks Bea- i am so grateful for those who came before me... I hope to pay to forward. It also keeps me focused on my health so I get alot out of hanging out here still!

This whole weight loss journey has been way "bigger" than losing weight for me. I have shared many self discoveries, new found interests, made new friends, had new adventures and a terrific new wardrobe.... really in some ways a new life.... What has been a more recent discovery for me is understanding in a deeper way the role the food and weight played in my life... for decades. I have read on these forums people who get very emotional over the food deprivation post surgery, but I did pretty okay with that. I had a few "binge attacks" or emotional eating episodes, but in general, I have done really well with all that. i didn't miss overeating, I didn't miss favorite foods, I really was just "over it" - felt I didn't get much pleasure from using food as recreation anyway. At the time, I chalked it up to be really ready for the surgery and the lifestyle changes, now I am thinking about it a little differently. I just returned from an 8 day vacation with all restaurant food and a goodly amount of "partying" ie drinking, and maintained my weight. It helped that we walked a TON (NYC, Philly and DC - lots of walking). I also kept portions tightly under control and skipped Desserts, and only had "good food" no junky fast food. enjoyed what I ate and drank and didn't do it in too much excess. Amazing restaurant food just isn't that amazing quite frankly. It was fun, but i don't need it in my daily life. More importantly, as soon as i got home i did a fast day and hit the working out again immediately. I feel really good about that, a confidence boost, like I don't need to be afraid, i can function even when off my normal routine and then i am confident I can get back on my routine. what has been unexpected in a negative way is how much being numbed by obesity and overeating (I think they BOTH played a role in numbing me) and now that it I don't have that shield, how much anxiety I experience. I don't mean social anxiety, public speaking or big fears, more like just that nervous energy like "too much caffiene" or something can give a person. It is an unpleasant feeling and i believe that food used to dull it and I really self medicated myself with food. I am wondering if under that mountain of fat i was always anxious and just didn't know it. I remember that when I was 22 I got down to a normal weight and i about blew a gasket emotionally, but I didn't have the maturity or support to really understand it... and I regained weight so fast I never had a chance to work through it. I am basically a happy person, and yes i do see a therapist, and my day to day life is just awesome.... but man sometimes i feel like a spring that is wrapped just toooooo tight. Exercise helps, riding my horses help, spending time with good friends helps... lots of things help but, it keeps popping its ugly head. I now need to find a way to cope with this underlying anxiety without using "drugs" (prescribed or self medicated of any kind either). Ultimately, I hope to reach the point where I don't need coping mecanisms (like exercise) and that the inner wound up feeling just is no longer a daily part of life. The timing is bad to try to solve this now because i am 4 weeks from plastic surgery and in a full on freak out mode about that... so I am pretty sure that I do not have an immediate solution. My counselor encourages me to mediatate daily and to also accept anxiety, learn to tolerate it, and not be afraid of the anxiety itself being a first step to reducing it. In dealing with the surgery, she has given me permission to "check out" and do a few things that I have done in the past... and I am trying to follow her advice. To give myself permission to be a little crazy if I need to...lol. I have a month to go and on a daily basis the anxiety is amping up so i am concerned.... but i think this is part of the journey of self discovery. Maybe what surprises me the most is that I am nearly 2 years out, been at goal since Feb 2013 and am only now really seeing this as being related to my weight and eating. hhhmmmm... that couple of years of talk therapy I did many years ago (in my late 20s) I did to solve my eating problems (back when I thought it was all in my head and not largely a physical problem) this whole possibility was never pointed out to me either. (and please don't tell me my anxiety is because i am not ready for plastics, that isn't the case. the anxiety has a life of its own, I WANT to do plastics, I have researched the crap out of it and am excited about it too. I think it is just the anxiety focal point and trigger right now.)

Sassy, glad to hear you are doing so well! I hear that numbness can last a really long time... Pretty exciting! I am doing lower body lift and more... Oct 14. Looking forward to hearing your updates.

You have made tremendous progress... weighing under 200# is an amazing accomplishment and i think you should focus on that! So, here is the tough love part, if you don't get eating right as more of a natural part of your life, you risk regain. I understand the desire to get to goal, but the main priority should be maintaining the good health improvments you have already made. The good news is that maintenance and getting to goal basically require the same things. Go back to the basics. Eat Protein first, green veggies next. Eat very little fruit and high carb veggies. Completely avoid Pasta, bread, potatoes. Simply do not eat fast food of any kind, do not drink any kind of soda or fruit juices or other sugary type food/beverages. Seriously minimize (ideally eliminate) highly processed foods. Track, weigh and measure, at least for awhile. Be honest withyourself about what you are really consuming. Focus on small portions - eat to absence of hunger, the goal is not to be "full". Become more active, mix it up. Work out harder, shorter duration. If you already do that, introduce some other change to your routine. Hang in there - you have done great - count your successes and keep committed to this - you can do it!

Love it - you have done so great - thanks for checking in! Everybody always loves to hear from people who are a few years out

If you click on my profile you can see my before and afters... very apple shaped but I have never been really busty. Now that I am at goal, I like to think of my broad shoulders etc as "athletic" ..hehe

I feared that I couldn't manage my food addiction that well early on. Of course, as a high BMI person who had already failed with the lapband... I was perhaps in a tougher situation then some. I didn't go on vacations during the losing phase. I did a few camping trips, and even that was hard. I am not saying this applies to everyone, but when you your BMI is over 50, you have a very long road to follow and I was not confident I could stay on course during a big vacation like a cruise. Earlier this month month I did an 8 day trip to NYC, Philly and DC. I came back the same weight as I left which was some kind of miracle. I watched portions, I avoided fast foods and I tried to make lower carb choices but I certainly did NOT deprive myself. It helped that we walked about a million miles...LOL. I feel like i am getting the hang of this finally!

A chance to do things that were quite simply out of reach before.... hike to the top of a mountain, riding a small endurance horse, traveling comfortably, walking everywhere - living life to the fullest (click on my profile if you want to see my before pic)

Personally I wouldn't do it for two reasons. 1. OJ is very acidic and can trigger tummy irritation. Last thing you want is to go into sleeve surgery with an acidic tummy. 2. OJ is very sugary/high carb and those are the kinds of foods that will slow down your journey.

I am booked with Dr Sauceda - Oct 14... nervous but excited too!

I think that is all good advice, but I have to say I am a little envious... I fought for every .1 of a pound to get to goal. I had NO trouble stopping losing!

Blue, that was very rude, but your story did give me a good laugh. Some people really have NO filter!

My best compliment "Holy ****.... you are hot!" This was from a male colleague / coworker I have known for many years but since we didn't work at the same location he hadn't seen me since I was over 300#. He was very embarrased as it was not an appropriate thing to say in a work setting... but i loved it. I can't really think of a bad one....

I would donate eggs... if I still had some haha... as long as the "process" didn't harm my health. check it out

I had a hard time letting go of clothes that I got from my sister and mom who were both passed away. I had a little ... heart to heart with myself especially over a particularly nice dress that my sis loved but always made me look dumpy. When she was dying, she really wanted me to have that dress. She was tall and amazonish looking and could pull off this stately look but it was never flattering on me. I had this vision of some other women enjoying that dress as much as my sis did; knowing she could afford it at the Goodwill. I thought my sis would appreciate that someone could love that dress... all it ever did was hang in my closet. As far as anything i bought... I was SO GLAD to see anything with a "W" or "X" in the sizing go out the door - I was happy to kiss em goodbye, good riddance make room for the cute stuff baby! I have become a Ross Dress for Less and TJ Maxx fashionista - bargain city. Once I got out of the plus sizes I found cute things there and just bought small amounts at a time since I shrunk out of them so fast. After my plastics and my size/shapes stabilizes from that, i intend to invest in a higher end wardrobe because I LOVE dressing up my new normal size body!

I hit goal in Feb 2013... I can tell from photos that my shape has changed since then. I have had several people say they thought i had lost more weight - I really hadn't, but your form does change. I have read more about this though and current thinking in plastic surgery that waiting a year really isn't necessary. Why not go for a consult and ask the professional this?

So, I did see my doc about this - she practices alternative as well as traditional medicine. She started me on a product called Gaba Ease - intended to reduce the "adrenal response" - ie panic chemicals from our body. Well, I took 3 doses, and it wasn't until the 3rd dose that i figured out it was making me worse. I had a temporary but very very scary reaction - twice I was driving down the road and had to pull over because i thought i would faint - both times happened about 20 minutes or so after taking a dose. I felt like I couldn't breath and I actually considered calling 911 while i still could. It passed fairly quickly, but it wasn't good. The last time it happened I felt ill for hours and when I met a friend for a big hike he actually told me I looked a little green. I regained my strength and we hiked just fine... but it was several hours of suckage. Their theory is that i had a paradoxical response - meaning the herbs did the exact opposite what they were supposed to. My personal theory is that since my blood pressure is normal/low - that I had a sudden blood pressure drop. We won't find out because she decided it was not wise for me to continue that. She switched me to HTP 5 but I admit I haven't taken any - it is like I am afraid of feeling worse I guess. I hate green tea, but am willing to try it. I have posted about this before, but coffee is my primary "addiction transference" substance. I figure it beats alcohol, gambling, wreckless sex and maniacal shopping etc. but my coffee consumption got crazy wicked high over the summer. I have been cutting back over the last month or so and am moving toward going decaf/no coffee in preparation for my plastic surgery. I did that before my VSG too because last thing i need is to go through withdrawals while recovering from surgery! I am probably consuming 1/4 of the caffeine that I was a few months ago and yet my anxiety is actually amped way up. I eat pretty clean otherwise - mostly meat,seafood greek yogurt, cheese, green veggies and Protein drinks. I will note another small thing. I had let my weight creep about 5# above goal early in the summer - I think i hit 163. I am down to 155 and dropping (intentially) and I can't help but wonder if some of this goes back to the food reduction, the letting go of the weight. I have been doing the 5:2 thing - but I don't notice higher anxiety on fast days, it is just that in general I am eating less. Our bodies are complicated and I am guessing that I am experiencing something that has both physical and emotional components - just as I believe my overeating and obesity had both. the point of my original post really is that i am surprised that this is showing up so late in the journey, but I do see it as another aspect of myself that "needs work" and that I continue to work through as part of my transformation. The biggest difference between the new me and the old me? I am talking to friends and family about it, I am not trying to hide my discomfort and unease. I am being a genuine person and when I was obese I think i often tried to bury many of my inner struggles and i just don't do that anymore and I feel proud of myself for that small victory.

I spent alot of years striving for perfection and treated myself like crap too much of the time. I am not sure i know the answers, but one thing I will say is that best I can tell... normal people mess up too. They just don't see themselves as failures over it. You have done AMAZING so when you look at the big picture, it is really hard to see how you are "struggling". know what I am saying? I feel like I have done amazingly well, and it took me 14 months to get to goal.... by my standards you have been a very fast loser so you must be doing something right!

It has exceeded my wildest dreams... however, being thin does NOT guarantee happiness or that you will like your life. It has improved my life so much because i feel so much better and can do so much more. I wear size 8 pants and i think i might be in a 6 after plastics... quite a change from my all time high of wearing 3x. I think I once owned a pair of 32W pants... yikes. Anyway, I think no matter what your size and weight, happiness does need to come from within.

You got great results - thanks for sharing! Don't be embarrased by your pics... you are a lovely woman who have just lived some life is all. Aren't we lucky to live in an age where we can get a little "rejuvenation"? LOL It is like my photos at 300#... it is part of my history and I feel no shame, only determination to not go down that road again. And gratefullness to have found the tools to help me on that front too.

Good job! I just got back from an 8 day trip and I maintained! i did NOT watch what I ate and drank really except for portions... you know, gotta keep the tummy from being over stuffed.. otherwise i really did just relax. I also walked about a million miles...lol

This is a meaningful conclusion. I want to be smaller but my current size /weight reqires diligence and effort but does allow me a little room for " dates nights" and other treats. So I say embrace beong "medium..haha" beats the hell out of 3X and I believe I can maintain this and still "live a little. "