CowgirlJane

You know what makes it worse..I had like 4 people lined up to help keep me company. One is super sick, two had unexpected business travel, three extended his hunting trip and so person four did go out to dinner with me. I got tired and couldnt do anything else. So thats it since i have been home - one dinner out. My helper took me to costco so I guess thats two. I have other friends and family but some people's energy isnt what I want right now. Interesting part of healing is no capacity to handle stress. I can drive now but I am a social person and feel lonely. There are all sorts of things "happening" in my larger circle but I dont have the energy to keep up with any of that. How is your appetite Bean? Mine is finally dropping but since I get no real excercise... I feel like I still eat too much. Give me a minute .. I am sure I can find more to whine about..haha

I respectfully disagree. Extra skin is no burden compared to layers of fat. You can live a full life - healthy active joyeous -even if you need shapewaer. And clothes disguise excess skin but nothing hides obesity. My boyfriend was not bothered by my extra skin - it was me that wanted it gone. I liked my body before plastics but I didnt want extra skin waiting to be filled up again. Also I love stylish and fitted clothing and wanted to make that easier.

I had major surgery - plastics and was so glad to have a helper.. Someone else is down there now all by herself and doing ok tho. Main difference is'that the hard stuff is just a little harder without a caring companion. I wouldn't let it stop you though. And yes my friend is looking into assisting medical tourists as she'loves caregiving. Even so I think you can do this yourself if you c ant afford to fly someone there with you.

I am really curious to hear from those of you that are long time sleevers and had regains. I am very very very very very aware that this could and likely WILL happen to many of us, including me. My boss is a knockout georgous hot woman, was never obese, but can get to be about 30# overweight - and she is short so it really shows up. I have known her for 15+ years so have seen it repeatedly. What she does, is go on Jenny Craig and get slim again. She is close to 60 now and i am definately noticing she is having a harder time knocking that weight back off. She used to gain the weight pretty evenly now it is definately the mid section. joy oh joy - what we have to look forward to...I am 49....anyhoo... I have my own ways of being diligent - I weigh daily, or nearly so. I write it down - if i bounce outside of my bounce zone I jump on it and go back to basics or ... start 5:2 (that did happen to me this summer - too many first dates packed on about 5# - being wined and dined is my excuse!). I exercise - maybe not at the gym, but I push my body to MOVE. I do NOT track food. I know that many of you don't agree with that approach and can't live with it, but, tracking food is a lifetime of dieting practice - I think my first food tracking diet was when I was 8. Trust me, it is NOT part of MY secret to success. I did it the first 3 months post op and the NUT I was working with could see that it did not suit me... she challenged me to find a different way and dang it if she wasn't right. I mentally count Protein and carbs - that's it. No calories - they carry too much emotional baggage for me. My fast days, I sorta figured out "about" what to eat to stay under 500 calories and I just follow that plan rather then counting calories. Anyway, I am nearly 2 years out and my doc told me in January that year 2 and 3 are just about as important as year one because that is when he sees the regains - especially from people like me who were... lets face it HUGE. My BMI was over 50. He gave me a very loving but firm talk about not slacking, don't get cocky that i needed YEARS to create a new normal weight for myself after spending so much time in the super obese weight class. so, I am feeling good... I think I am going to make it to the end of year 2 still at goal. but, too early to declare victory. In fact, I see maintenance as a forever focus or I won't maintain. I am at peace with it. I made changes like - i don't hang out with foodies...haha. I hang out with skinny people who actually don't care that much about food. That has made a HUGE difference! i hang out with people who want to get out and GO. I don't feel anger like I used to over not being able to eat "freely" - I right now, feel just "over it". I in fact chose to not date a guy (back when I was going on first dates) for the primary reason that he loves wonderful restaurants... and it just isn't the way I can live and maintain weight. My "boyfriend" is a picky eater, has a problem with getting too skinny since he is an active athlete and doesn't really like to eat much. He has to force himself to eat enough to keep from wasting away actually - it is a strange thing in my book... Not much fun on the wining and dining front, but he makes up for it elsewhere. I don't see my siblings very much these days because they are all food centered people...gee...how come I was one of the ones that got so big? Drew the unlucky straw I guess... they, as a group, are overweight not hugely obese, but are developing type II diabetes etc... so the chips are being cashed as we speak. What I would like to hear is what advice would you give to those of us who have not YET had the rebound? I think the obvious is exactly what you all are doing RIGHT NOW. Being part of this support, trying 5:2 as a lifestyle etc. Stay active. What else do you think could have prevented or minimized a regain? My plastic surgery is actually part of my strategy. I will be damned if I am going to ruin it by gaining a bunch of weight...LOL Anyway, I would love to hear the "lessons learned" if you are willing to share them. For background, when I was 21-22 I got to a normal weight and had an emotional meltdown... didn't know how to even ask for help so regained the weight as an emotional defense. I am over that. Age does have a few benefits.

F age zero with frozen berries and perhaps a sprinkle of Stevia is heavenly. THE berries kinda thaw into thks dessert like dish..raspberries aren't favorite this way. And I buy the big container to since I use yogurt for lots of things. Y o u c an marinade chicken breast in it too.

Ah yes, I would like to walk with my shoulders back! I wanted a new pair of boots but my feet are still a bit puffy. I went to Ross Dress for Less and got a couple of form fitting tops...No more muffin top! Then I bought some sugar free dating Vinci flavorings at the costco business center. That was a big outting so then I napped and we got the rest of the stitches out. Yes I am going stircrazy but I know it will get better...and it is getting better. I am doing some wallowing...th a t s true.

Woohoo m2g! Brown consider looking for a place with water aerobics. GREAT workout and the warm water helped me stretch while keeping it easy on the joints. Many older and overweight people in the class but don't let that fool you... you can really push and get a great workout no matter your fitness level.

FWB with Allen or his brother? That is how things started with Steven and somehow it is very hard over time to keep it all "FWB only" Not just for the woman I might add. No regrets as this relationship has shown me slot of things that I want and deserve and have never had with a partner.

I think the point should not be lost that many people going thru this are fragile, scared, defensive, while a t the same time probably feeling hope and other'positive feelings too. Or maybe afraid to hope too much. Anyway, I remember a time when I found the "tone" on VST to feel a little harsh. Yeah the truth is a b***h but we can also be kind about it. I think we all try to be nice but put extra consideration for the person still figuring things out.

Even Light compression /shapewear makes such a difference in reducing the jiggles. After about 6 months at goal, i felt that my skin was significantly reduced. I STILL needed plastics because it was bad, but, I think shapewear and time definately help... a little. So, I was not one to wear super tight girdles or spanx but more like light hold. Jeans also can serve this purpose. Once I got rid of the extra fat and was just down to skin, it could sorta be smooshed in a way to make it look like I had hips...haha! The final stage of weird extra skin before I had plastics is when I lost the last 8 or pounds during Sept and Oct. My belly button disappeared. Laying in bed, I looked down at a flat stomach that had so many wrinkles, it was surreal. I tried getting pics but they never really captured the effect adquately.

fye - I am sooo happy for you! That is major! You do not need to justify your higher goal weight then some. I think I shared previously that I got alot more attention / looks from men when I was 20# heavier then I am now. Weird because my whole life I thought skinny was what everybody wanted. I am not skinny, but think that a more voluptous look is definately appealing. And besides, it is just more realistic for many of us. I am having a discouraging few days. I admit that right now I truly regret getting the plastics. Not because i am unhappy with the results because they surely meet my expectations - but more like I am just not sure the results are good enough for how long and slow this recovery is. Last night my support person removed about half the stitches. It went really well and I had taken something to relax me so I just wanted him to FINISH but it was hurting his back to bend over so I hope tonight he can do the last. I still have one drain, but the output is really dropping so I think it will come out soon. I sense that my feelings about plastics will be much more positive when I no longer have to hide a drain going out in public. I have 3 more weeks of wearing the compression garments and i can't dress normally because they make me look weird. I just want to be able to slip on a bra and panties, throw on some leggings or tights and a sweater dress and be on my way. 3 more weeks. Then I am told not to wear heels and all that since swelilng can happen for months. Again, I question if this is really worth it. My boyfriend exended his weekend trip for a few more days (returning today) and then he flies out again on Friday. I tried to not sound disappointed but I was really counting on him to distract me and get me out of the freaking house this weekend. It is not his job, but I am pouting about it anyway...lol. Anyway, he says he will be home for awhile after this, but i don't believe him. I mean, I think he wants to stay home, but he does public speaking engagements and has to take them when they come up and they fly him all over the country for that. And then ski season starts soon (weather dependant) and between speaking engagements he works as an instructor - basically to fund his skiing obsession. So, although we find ourselves getting closer and closer in many ways, I am finding myself less accepting of him having so little time for us. He knows it, as we have very good communication, and knows that come January I will be reconsidering our whole situation. He has told me that he wants to find ways to stay together but we both also know that certain lifestyle things are just "what they are". I can't stand a clingy or overbearing boyfriend, but one i see more then once a week would be good. The last thing I want is for him to change to try to appease me and then be resentful over it... I would rather move on and be left with the awesome memories. On the good news front, I am going to take both shooting and skiing lessons myself (not taught by boyfriend since that seldom works well..haha). I remember when the kids were learning to snoboard they hated it at first and got really pissed off at the instructors. That is apparently the BF experience too as he told me that he didn't want me to get mad at HIM so that I need to get beginner lessons from someone else. The shooting class I want to take is offered on the same day as my big family Christmas party in December so i guess that will also have to wait until after the new year. I really need something to look forward to sooner rather then later so I wish I could find a good class to take in December (ie after I am cleared for all activity around Dec 9 or 8 weeks post op) So, onto fasting. I am going to try a fast day on Thursday but right now feel so unmotivated. What I need is more exercise but am not yet permitted to do that. i feel the moss growing, the muscles wilting and my spirits flagging... okay, pity party for me today! ha I am going to see if one of my friends wants to be bothered by my company today or tomorrow. That will help. Everybody has been sick and hyper conscious about not infecting me, so it has been lonely.

The calorie/carb/protein ratios is why I keep coming back to Premier Protein from costco for the premade and the Syntrax nectar for powder. Both are VERY low carb and high protein. The Premier actually fills me enough to be a Meal Replacement. i can only tolerate the chocolate and actually find it tastes pretty good. Here is the weird thing though... every few months it starts giving me diarrea and I need to stop drinking it for awhile and then I can start up again. The Syntrax Nectar I can only drink as a shake when I blend it up with ice. I find it is so low calorie and low carb that it doesn't fill me up very well so a shake made from the syntrax is really just a supplement of protein. My favorite flavor for just drinking is the chocolate followed by the cappacino. I didn't bond with the fruity flavors, so highly recommend everyone ordering the single serving sample pack before getting too crazy with this stuff. It is an excellent protein, but some of the flavors are unusual. Flip side, you can do alot with it. I also use the syntrax nectar vanilla bean torte but more as a recipe additive. For example, I make a low carb high protein pancake using a fake biscuit product called Carbquik. I modify the mixing directions and add a scoop of vanilla syntrax and use Water instead of cream, egg beaters instead of eggs. I get higher protien and reasonable carb pancakes and to me, they taste really good. A dash of cinnamon makes it even better. Most protein powders do not mix well with hot water or coffee. If you want to use one of these powders as a coffee additive what you need to do is premix it with room temperature or warm (not hot) water. once the powder is dissolved, you can then add it to your coffee or other hot beverage. I am a big believer in high protein not just for weight loss but for maintenance so i continue to use the drinks to supplement my protien even now. Side note, be careful of the bars, they tend to be high carb and have a certain candy bar like appeal to them... makes me prone to over eat on them.

J Cross at two weeks out I wasn't really standing straight. Right after my shower and relaxed is my straightest posture, but i normally stand very tall and even in that photo, I am slightly leaned. I am 3 weeks now and still find myself hunching a little but definately getting better day by day. The surgery was not very painful as they do a good job of pain management. It is a tediious recovery though, for all the reasons mentioned previously. Having help at home was absolutely necessary for me - I can't care for the animals and having help with the daily bandage changing and changing garments has been a life saver. As of yesterday, I am 3 weeks out. I am driving - just local getting around. I have to be careful still, to not put tension on incisions in order to keep the scars as narrow as possible. I have 3 more weeks of activity restriction. AT 6 weeks out I can begin exercising and all restrictions should be cleared by 8 weeks.

I had to go back on my omeprazle for a few days. I think it was caused by the super tight compressin garments. It also helped to not lay down, I was very propped up = at first by the hospital bed and then later by pillows.

Dating outside of the internet (ie other ways of meeting people) there are ways to signal your interest. A look, a smile whatever. Online, I don't know how they can possibilly know you are interested if you don't send that initial "ping"? I do think there is something to the idea that men like to pursue, but I still think that is acceptable/expected for women to initiate some sort of interest online. Just don't have your feelings hurt if you don't hear back. When I was meeting people from the online websites I tended to contact men within 5 years of my age and that at least take a decent photo. When I wait for them to contact me, I get contacts from men much older then me. While age is just a number, I prefer someone who's number is closer to mine.

For me personally, the key is keeping the trigger foods out of the house. Nearly as important, i don't stop to grab food at convenience places. So, lets use an old trigger food - ice cream. Don't buy it at the grocery and don't buy it at costco food court just don't stop at an ice cream place. I don't consider it a foribben food - I have had it a few times since being sleeved - but I consider it a rare occasion food. I guess it helps that I can barely tolerate ice cream these days - tends to make me a bit sick - I suppose I am not used to all that sugar and fat. Anyway, same basic approach applies to all my trigger foods - I don't say "never" but they are under close watch and not allowed to get to out of hand...

Well statistics show increase in reflux like problems post sleeve. I read a study that showed that 3 years post op they see an "uptick" in the frequency of GERD/reflux type issues. I hope i don't have that happen, but it is a known risk all sleevers should know about. My personal experience is I never had reflux EVER before I had the lapband placed in 2001. Then I met acid reflux first hand... awful awful awful, had to have all the Fluid taken out of the band and still had problems until that lapband was removed. Revised to the sleeve in 2011, was on a ppi for awhile (don't remember but thinking 2 months or so post op), but basically don't have problems and do not take medication currently. so far, i have been fortunate and have not suffered with reflux since sleeve surgery. The only incidents i have had were when I ate way too much. Do not overfill or stuff your sleeved tummy! I did go through a weird time of swallowing. Not problems eating, but more like saliva swallowing was weird feeling for awhile. odd, but it seems behind me now.

I am finding this thread to be most thought provoking.

Haha my first thought is "could prison time explain it?" honestly i think it is natural for dates to be curious. plenty of us were obese and married so I like the truth.. You just havent found the right one.

2 weeks out I was on full liquids. A suggestion is to always back up... if you are on mushies try backing up to liquids. I like the visual as the newly sleeved tummy as being like a newborn baby that needs gentle TLC, Keep portions really small. Nerves are cut during surgry,, you might not "feel" how full you really are. I promise, this gets easier.

Consider that is a form of dismorphia. I went through this feeling and I think you need to give time for the brain to catch up . I finally realized that it is rooted in my sadness over the "lost time". Last time I was thin I was in my early 20s... it was sort of a rude awakening to find my thin face is now late 40s...

When I was 22 I was blessed to get to know a young woman named Claudia. She was the receptionist at the huge accounting firm I worked for - yes I was right out of college, high pressure job, and gaining weight. Anyway, Claudia was one of those women... drop dead knock out georgous... all the guys wanted to date her. Sweet and genuinely kind, as much as the women felt some jealousy at her perfect looks... perfect hair, perfect nails... and get this - she was an amazing opera singer too... even with all that, the women liked her alot too. Over the course of about a year I got to know Claudia pretty well. She married the most handsome man ever. They looked like the couple that belongs on top of the cake "that kind of flawless I always dreamed I could be." Well I eventually realized how damaged inside she was, how sad she was, how low her self esteem was. She KNEW she was pretty but I can remember my shock at her saying this to me "you at least know who your friends are, most people only care about me for how i look" I didn't think that was true, I think people genuinely did like her, but the point was just that the emptiness isn't about being lovely or not, fat or skinny - it is way deeper than that. I have often thought about Claudia over the decades. I have recently thought about... with undying gratitude and my many friends who loved me at my most obese. I show them my before pics and they can't ever remember me looking like that. It is like people's affection colors their view. I can remember a friend even telling me that I wasn't really "obese" - seriously at 300#? But, she saw me as this active person living a full life and that wasn't her image of obese. AGain, affection colors your view. I think GG once made a statement about being seen through "the soft eyes of a lover". I like that image - and try to see myself with a soft eye whenever that critical voice creeps up. So, taking that a step further, I think loving oneself helps color our self image in a positive way. i poke fun at my vanity... but in truth i DO like how I look and I like the person I am becoming more and more all the time. I think that is healthy and I think those positive feelings should be cultivated no matter how heavy or skinny; extra skin or not... You know what is funny though, i got more attention/looks when I was about 20# heavier. I think there needs to be a study on this phenomena... perhaps it is a lie that the world only likes skinny.

I think that hormones are being released; problem compounded by reduced access to your favorite comfort - food. I was overly emotional for weeks if not months. I tend to sort of shut down when I get in that headspace and i recall the world seeming kinda gray and muted. I like to tell people I didn't start feeling human until about 12 weeks out, so I am guessing that is when my mood started to stabilize too. I have gone through ups and downs since then too - don't get me wrong - haha, but that hormal triggered mood change was the first few months. Once you are cleared for activity - start doing it. Walking - whatever you are cleared for. Regular activity is the best mood enhancer I know. And like I always say "keep your eye on the prize" - remind yourself it is temporary and necessary step to get you to your ultimate dreams and goals. I promise it gets better.

It ticks me off that not all surgeons are doing this scrip as standard - i suspect that vast majority of people need it those first weeks and even months and there is no good reason in my mind for people to suffer this discomfort. Some people develop a chronic problem - but they are the exception. I stopped taking my PPI around 3 months post op if I remember correctly. Anyway, try this and if you are still feeling constantly hungry, check that you are getting enough Water. If you still feel that way... I have more ideas but honestly, i think it is the acid.