CowgirlJane

But people say the darndest things on coffee dates, the meet and greet.

They censored the word "pu$$y". Actually using dollar signs is not that far off base sometimes. Is it really necessary to join this thread just to insult women? Sent from my KFJWI using the BariatricPal App

Of course that was hurtful - it sucks and most likely was his own issues and weirdness. Most relationships DON'T work out,so I wouldn't put much stock in his"reasons". Wouldn't even blame him..Thank goodness he and his issues are gone for good. Hey, an ex boyfriend wanted me back...why? Well, because I am not an insane pathological liar. Wow, that makes a girl feel like she is really valued. Actually it was great because recently I was told I wasn't someone's usual type. Asked what was meant and he said "i always find crazy redheads, only i don't realize they are crazy until it's too late" since I knew sanity is one of top attributes it was easy for me to say "you will find me boringly responsible and ordinary- sorry". This man is pursuing me pretty carefully so hmmm... You just keep being you. Focus on your own awesome self because whether single or coupled, life satisfaction comes from within... and maybe a lucky ma n will figure that out about your awesomeness and want to be a part of it. If not, well, you've got your awesomeness and a happy life! I just haven't figured out how to have that amazing sexlife with my new found wisdom..lol. I simply cannot do another 3-4 month relationship...done a couple now and am over that. Of course that was hurtful - it sucks and most likely was his own issues and weirdness. Most relationships DON'T work out,so I wouldn't put much stock in his"reasons". Wouldn't even blame him..Thank goodness he and his issues are gone for good. Hey, an ex boyfriend wanted me back...why? Well, because I am not an insane pathological liar. Wow, that makes a girl feel like she is really valued. Actually it was great because recently I was told I wasn't someone's usual type. Asked what was meant and he said "i always find crazy redheads, only i don't realize they are crazy until it's too late" since I knew sanity is one of top attributes it was easy for me to say "you will find me boringly responsible and ordinary- sorry". This man is pursuing me pretty carefully so hmmm... You just keep being you. Focus on your own awesome self because whether single or coupled, life satisfaction comes from within... and maybe a lucky ma n will figure that out about your awesomeness and want to be a part of it. If not, well, you've got your awesomeness and a happy life! I just haven't figured out how to have that amazing sexlife with my new found wisdom..lol. I simply cannot do another 3-4 month relationship...done a couple now and am over that. Of course that was hurtful - it sucks and most likely was his own issues and weirdness. Most relationships DON'T work out,so I wouldn't put much stock in his"reasons". Wouldn't even blame him..Thank goodness he and his issues are gone for good. Hey, an ex boyfriend wanted me back...why? Well, because I am not an insane pathological liar. Wow, that makes a girl feel like she is really valued. Actually it was great because recently I was told I wasn't someone's usual type. Asked what was meant and he said "i always find crazy redheads, only i don't realize they are crazy until it's too late" since I knew sanity is one of top attributes it was easy for me to say "you will find me boringly responsible and ordinary- sorry". This man is pursuing me pretty carefully so hmmm... You just keep being you. Focus on your own awesome self because whether single or coupled, life satisfaction comes from within... and maybe a lucky ma n will figure that out about your awesomeness and want to be a part of it. If not, well, you've got your awesomeness and a happy life! I just haven't figured out how to have that amazing sexlife with my new found wisdom..lol. I simply cannot do another 3-4 month relationship...done a couple now and am over that.

I'd rather be hypnotized into believing I was a super model with my own personal French chef and a hot body builder personal trainer and maybe a Latin lover poolboy...wait, I might be getting carried away. .. but I think that would stand a better chance of working than an imaginary lapband. That is a hoot Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I337 using the BariatricPal App

It isnt the size..it's more the Hitchcock like creepiness. .. ha!. Everything I know about cars is from some POS that I owned that broke down...this like this for me too. No idea at all about this strange condition, never fathomed it would ever be relevant to me. Ok, horses get these HUGE rocks that form inside them that can cause blockage. I saw one once, from a necroprocy - it was like a good 6-8"....surreal. it makes me wonder about the sense behind it. I mean like why our bodies do this stuff. Makes me grateful for living in a time with such good medical care too. "Good Ole days" - ha, give me novacaine, antibiotics and pain killers over nostalgia any day. I really wonder how people coped with this sort of thing 100 - 10,000 years ago. Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I337 using the BariatricPal App

@@j16 your profile avatar is scary..just saying! Oh no, Dr Deck (evergreen) really wants me to capture that thing so it can go to the lab. If that is not possible, he says they can do other tests, but reading the offending stone is best. Normally, I would be a little hesitant of a doc who wants to do so many tests and follow ups, but good heavens this has been terrible. I want to do anything I can to prevent re occurance. I have mixed feelings about Evergreen ER - between my son and I we have been regulars lately - but I do like the docs associated with Evergreen. I am of course in pain, my poor young adult sons have felt traumatized by their normally tough momma crying from pain not to mention the other unpleasantness. My friends are starting to wonder if they will ever have their social director/partner in crime back! (I have been pretty limited since late January due to surgical complications - just returning to normal when this hit). I got a sad text from a girlfriend, she'd gone on a work related fancy evening out and I had gone on a short date on Saturday night....normally the kind of night when we'd both be like "all dressed up,the old folks have gone to bed, lets go find some live music and dancing"...but no, I am in bed by like 930!! Nice to feel kinda loved.... it is true that big deal stuff ripples to people who care about you... and people who rely on you for fun! Not to mention, I found someone who is thrilled to teach me and my peeps how to gamble. If i ever go to Vegas it would be nice to have a clue. Heck, I can't even figure out the horse racing betting - there are like too many choices! That was supposed to happen Sunday, at my house...food, beverages and laughs and a bucket of pennies in the line. ..of course cancelled. Sigh. Oh well, I am happy that I have so much fun stuff to look forward to when I recover. That, and having a flat tummy again.

So glad he is supporting you now...and making a real effort. People (me included!!!) Can really mess up, even when they care alot. I want to throw another thought out there. Sometimes we are so incredibly SELF critical about our weight that a small criticism even feels like a crushing blow. I hated being obese so I imagined my ex hated me for it. I lost 125# when I asked him if he'd noticed. It became clear that my weight was not the central issue in our relationship even though it was hard for me to imagine that it wasn't. And now for a little humor...when I was obese, I didn't feel too desirable physically. So, now I am dating and an unreal number of men indicate liking a woman who is at least a little overweight. Seriously. .. I finally have a skinny butt and fat ones are all the rage! ! You have to have a sense of humor about it too. Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I337 using the BariatricPal App

Ah sooo... that explains it! Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I337 using the BariatricPal App

People say they can't clear notifications, I can't find them! Example, I get an email that somebody mentioned me in a post. I used to delete the email, and then look at notifications next log in. Now, I have no idea where to see the notification if I deleted the email. I used to select "content I follow" which appears to be the same as subscribed but doesn't show when a subscribed forum is updated. I have had happen, and notice it for others too....that posts"hang" and since you can't think 'll, you hit the send button again and you get multiple, repeat posts. Sent from my KFJWI using the BariatricPal App

Perhaps focusing on the positive.... like the good things to eat can get you out of this thought spiral. While it is important to be diligent, attaching all this emotion to food gives it a lot of power. Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I337 using the BariatricPal App

So I am a trying some different approaches ,overall not ready to discuss as this just started...but I have a small example. Last night I was on a second date with someone I like, but of course hardly know him yet. I sensed a certain cooling toward me by the end of the date. There were a couple of things that came up in conversation that I imagined could be the reason, but who knows. My old way would be to remain silent, and just see what happens..leave things in his court...if he didn't contact me, just let it be. I decided today to do something different. I sent him a note telling him how I enjoyed myself (vulnerabilities in the face of sensing a cooling) and then asked him if he would teach me to gamble since I have no idea and want to check out Vegas. He responded enthusiastically with inviting me over, he'd cook dinner and to see if I have friends that want to learn too. I have a guess at the"cooling"thing and we still havent kissed or anything, and this may not go anywhere, but I was pleased at myself for breaking an old pattern. Sent from my KFJWI using the BariatricPal App

Hey I resent that! Some of us are still here because we have transferred our food and alcohol addictions to WLS forum addictions. As dysfunctional as they are and as silly and idiotic some threads are, it's like a horrible car crash that I just can't help but stare at. Hello my user name is Kindle and I am addicted to online forums. LOL You and me both. I reckon this obsession keeps me fairly focused on my own situation. .. Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I337 using the BariatricPal App

This was never intended to be a horror story - more of a humorous event with a bit of self reflection on the topic. So, the original coffee date that inspired this - I liked him, but when I refused the offer of a cocktail at his place on our first date, the evening ended abruptly and i didn't hear anymore. I thought...oh well, that is fine. I think he is genuine, just has a different expectation of the pace of things etc. Anyway, I found out about an event going on in around 2 weeks that is a common interest and I knew none of my pals would want to go. I texted him and asked if he was up for bringing the dogs to this festival and he was quite enthusiastic to make the plans. I am feeling the friend zone thing, but, I have an open mind. I have met a few interesting guys recently and am just keeping it light with all of them. I just thought it was sort of funny to have the reaction about my photos... and people do sometimes say the oddest things. It did touch a certain nerve as well - that little bit of self doubt. However, i am self reflective and pretty aware that my appearance has nothing to do with any of this.

I think it was more like he wants a standing date on saturday night. Seriously, I felt like it was a junior high being asked to go steady. It was actually pretty sweet. I made myself very clear that I am moving slowly, etc, and in terms of physical or other expectations no problem - so i thought we were on the same page. it occured to me that he imagines I am not dating others. We were standing in a rainy parking lot after a comedy show so it wasn't the best place for an in depth conversation, but I somehow need to get expectations sorted out. I am transparent and honest but i am becoming aware that some of the cultural background differences are showing up. I like being with him, and he seems very sweet and thoughtful, but I am not sure yet about anything - I mean seriously, we just met like 10 days ago and I do see a red flag that gives me a little pause (hardly ever sees family, including teen kids who are out of state and don't come here to visit - for me, that is a big red flag actually). I don't want to hurt feelings or end things over nothing, but I need to find a way to make him understand that I intend to keep things casual, non physical for awhile. I have observed that not everyone likes that - which is why I tried to be so clear from the beginning. Anyway, my experiment continues... although much curtailed by my intermittant health crises... sheesh... timing not so great.

You aren't failing. Keep tracking, and use that info to meet with a decent nutritionalist. I am unclear on the intensity of your exercise, but suspect that over time you may need more calories. 9 weeks, it is still hard to get much in. Are you meeting hydration, Protein and carb targets? Try to not eat late at night. I don't know about prozak, i took it for about 2 weeks when I was depressed after my mother died and it made me insane, so didn't stay with it long enough to assess impact on weight loss. Some anti depressant drugs are known for weight gain as a side effect. I didn't catch the painful puzzle - do you mean emotional pain over the slower weight loss or something else? i know I am not offering much here - but I think the key is to take a breath, keep following the program and in time, the weight loss will come. I too failed a million times, including with the lapband, so I understand the terror, but it isn't very productive or helpful... hang in there!

I completely understand your post and what I would add is that it seems like it is an ongoing balancing act, adjustment. I relied so heavily on intense exercise for awhile, and then when I couldn't do that anymore - had to readjust. My capacity for food is much higher than it used to be - so need to adjust for that too. anyway, we all have our own stories, own experineces but maybe the unexpected is that our own story changes quite a bit over time too! This is why there is no one size fits all answer - especially to maintenance challenges. I have known for quite awhile that excessive carbs make me hungry. Not everyone has that experience and we all need to listen to our bodies, listen to others ideas and then figure out what applies to ourselves... right now... not yesterday or tomorrow, but what is needed now. I have a friend who eats sandwiches all the time, she is about 40# overweight and on an annual bases loses that weight via starvation diet, then regains it. she blames it on no willpower, junk food etc - well... maybe... but eating bread 3 meals a day (when not on starvation diet) might be part of the hunger trigger!

I can't give dietary advice for a DS, but some life advice (I have been through very difficult times as well - sick and dying family, my child's issues, career stress etc). here is what i have learned, everything is more managable when you feel better, when your health is better. Stop eating junk, get a little exercise (even walks!), make your health a priority, meditate, do self care etc and these other things are less likely to drown you. just eliminating junk food will make you feel better within a very short period of time. Take care of yourself - you have alot going on.

I agree! I'd also like to know life expectancy people with WLS vs not and I think something like the framington study is the way to draw these conclusions. Sent from my KFJWI using the BariatricPal App

Actually, I think those results are very very good. Pre WLS I had zero percent chance of maintaining weight loss (I know, I tried for decades) and so even "average" looks good. I have maintained close to 100percent WLS (the target weight for the calcs is too low for me to maintain in a healthy way). I don't post fresh photos because the novelty has worn off...but 4 years down the road and I am still a healthy/attractive weight. Forums are a very biased source of "research" -heavily weighted toward crisis and the honeymoon period. Sent from my KFJWI using the BariatricPal App

BTW, this site is becoming harder and harder to navigate on Android devices. I can post away, but following and finding stuff later...thats another story. I used to use a browser on my kindle but due to constant errors, have had to switch to the newest app. I guess I am old school, but I like the browser access where I can actually see stuff. I got a message from someone asking all sorts of questions about getting plastics even though she has a serious heart condition. On the app, I couldn't tell she was preop! It is probably the drugs talking fueled by a gross feeling bloated belly...but make this leap with me. An article was written recently on this site about people going nuts post weight loss...and how it is this dirty little secret. I felt it was targeted at women as it talked about sexual craziness-which we all know is only tossed at women. Anyway, how about the possibility that many of the people who wind up meeting strangers for sex, or drink all their calories from booze were prone to problem behavior and thoughts before, but it was invisible (or less offensive??) when they were obese. For example, a person with a heart problem that makes surgery life threatening/dangerous planning on plastics before she has even had weight loss surgery or lost any weight. I dunno, just a theory. Sent from my KFJWI using the BariatricPal App

I had an unplanned fast day yesterday. I ate one partial small Greek yogurt, a piece of toast and then swigged a Protein Drink overnight. I am still bloated as check - I look about 12 weeks pregnant. I weighed 159, down from a few days ago but way up from the 153-155 range i have been in recently. I am bloated, constipated and generally miserable although right now pain is in control. I have needed alot of pain pills and you know what, besides constipation, they make me moody. No wonder addicts are so cranky. In between bouts of unpleasantness, good things are happening too. I almost hosted a small gathering yesterday but my excessive pain caused a cancel. I consider it progress that my house is back to reasonably clean and I FEEL like being social. It's Monday - where are all the Monday checkins?? Sent from my KFJWI using the BariatricPal App

Happy Mothering Day! I love that name. Do you know people are using the term"adulting"? Like my sons have had a series of adulting lessons lately - they've never had to be the one taking someone to hospital, and watching them experience unpleasantness. They are mid 20s, about time! Sent from my KFJWI using the BariatricPal App

In 2001 when I was banded, that surgeon was experimenting with"band over bypass" - yes, just what it sounds like. Failed with bypass, so lets toss a lap band on. I can't imagine it. I mention this because you can fail or succeed with any WLS. While the choice is very important, never lose sight of the fact that long term results have alot to do with the person too. People have at times unrealistic expectations and come back years later with regain because the procedure they chose didn't stop them from making poor lifestyle/food/activity decisions. To the best of my knowledge - my experience and exposure to other people, NONE of the procedures really keep you slim over the years unless the person is able to keep "working it" Sent from my KFJWI using the BariatricPal App

I am ok this morning, pain very manageable but not over yet. I don't drink sports drinks but I do sometimes use mio and other Water enhancers. Who knows..once they are able to do an analysis of the type, prevention plan will be clearer. I told doc I do eat high protein/moderate carbs - but that is just one of a laundry list of possible causes. Anyway, I just need to get through this workweek.... Sent from my KFJWI using the BariatricPal App

Thanks for that crazy tip. I may try it. Anybody who thinks horseback riding would help has no idea of the pain I am in. I had a bit of a pain crisis this afternoon. The percaset helped, but never resolved it and within an hour, I was back to alot of pain. By alot I mean doubled over, crying and oddly needing to pee about every 3-5 minutes. Getting up and moving around made it hurt worse. I am also supposed to take an An NSAID which of bariatric doc does NOT want me to take,so I limit it. I take a PPI, wait 30 minutes, eat then take the NSAID. trouble is, today I couldn't eat. So by afternoon I was feeling distress..panting hard. I know that kind of breathing is from pain and not a closed airway but my son was freaking out and wanting to go to emergency. So, I took one small bite of bread (all I could stand) and downed the liquid IB. My stomach burned like crazy but within minutes I could feel some relief. Once the pain reduced, my breathing slowed back down and I ate a whole piece of toast. I am far from cured but pain went from almost unbearable... 7-8? to uncomfortable. So, the lesson here is that at least in my case, inflammation is a big issue. I saw it on the scans too - doctor could see the gas, and swelling. Ok, so I am taking IB regularly now and will call tomorrow about this procedure. I can't stand this pain and life disruption and I want to get off the NSAID as soon as possible. Mine is a single that measures 4 - said 80percent chance I don't need the treatment based on size. This is absolutely insane, I knew it was painful, but this is way worse than I ever fathomed. Wow. Sent from my KFJWI using the BariatricPal App