CowgirlJane

At the risk of sounding too serious, I think this is one time in life that going so heavily by the numbers might be your downfall. I weigh 150 and am 5'5". Everybody always thinks I weigh less. i think the unknown factor is that formerly obese people carry alot of weight inside - extra dense bones were built for carrying all that weight, extra cardio vascular system to deliver blood and oxygen to all that body mass. We are all so individual, you really won't know what is "right" until you get closer. I say set a very realistic goal and then when you get there... re-evaluate and see if it makes sense to lose more. If you get all wound up in charts, or what other people weigh or what you weighed when you were 12 or how big your wrists are...whatever... it can lead to disappointment. My opinion, the scale is just a tool to indicate progress... real progress is health, fitness and looks (yes, I am admittedly vain). Too skinny ain't always pretty - just depends on the individual. My surgeon told me that BMI charts are guidelines but not that accurate for people who were morbidly obese or people who are heavily muscled. I think there are several examples on this forum of people who look awesome, even though their BMI is something over 20

Well, I really understand her excitement, not sure exactly why it rubbed me so wrong. I am very content being an honest size 8/size medium. I am 5'5", long torso, broad shoulders and weigh 150#. Size 8 is just peachy - to me it is a nice normal size for a 49 year old woman, especially that used to wear more like a 26-28W (my highest size was 32W heaven help me). People always think I weigh less - I suspect heavy bones from a lifetime of carrying around an extra human's worth of body weight. Anyway, I just wanted to mention because I was SHOCKED. In my past experience true designer labels I need a BIGGER size. I thought that store would be more like it... then I noticed all the double zero, triple zero sizes and i started to become suspicious.... Then, I tried on the first pair of 8s and they about fell off. That is when I could not help think of miss prancing pants...LOL Laura - I don't recall seeing full body photos, but your face looks damn skinny. I keep feeling like you are at or near the weight you SHOULD be. Hell with the charts. My sister and niece asked me why I keep losing weight - they said my face looks thinner. I have probably lost 8-10# since I saw them, but I told them it is just redistributing. I also admitted my actual weight and they were shocked - thought I was more in the 120-130 range. hmmm I feel like I need coaching/moral support in life right now. I wish I could see all of you over coffee, or a glass of wine. I am not sure why my emotions are so up-ticked right now. I feel excited, sad, confused, lonely, yet happy about all my friends and family. I am just a bundle of contradictions and I don't really know why. I am returning to work today thank goodness working from home this week. I am physically better, mentally fragile. For me, my eating and weight are all doing good. I am not scared of overeating at the holidays - I am confidently determined to maintain my weight. Maybe it is the dating prospect that winds me up? I know what it really is.... Lets see... lose 150+ pounds - check end emotionally dead non relationship - check remove extra skin - check get kids out on their own - check crap... now what???? I keep trying to defer that question and my counselor has asked me to learn to be "okay" with not having a plan. Damn, I don't like it. I am a strong confident woman but I scared about living alone come january. I am scared about starting dating. I REALLY want to date but at the same time have mixed feelings about really getting involved with someone and his baggage. I am scared about the emptiness that I sometimes feel. I guess it has always been there, but now that I FEEL everything, no numbing with food and carb induced haze... it is more persistantly troubling. Don't get me wrong, I am mostly okay, but have a certain heaviness of heart and spirit at times. I think returning to exercise and real life will help.

I would feel remiss if I did not point out that the thread marked "enabling" is full of drooling food porn talk. In all seriousness, is that what we want to talk about? and besides, don't burger and fries make you feel kinda ill?

ok, for everyone annoyed by the prancing around in her size 2 pants - I have a report to make. i bought a couple of outfits at White House Black Market today. That store has ridiculous vanity sizing. i wear an honest size 8 pants - but there I take 4 or 6 depending on the cut. They are also very very heavy sales. They have a clerk helping you and when the other clerks have time they come by and mention how great everything looks on you. Seriously. They did it to me and they did it with other customers. There was a skinny lady (I'd guess actually a size 2 or 4) that wanted clothes for a cocktail party. For some reason, she wanted to wear a more casual look and they kept reassuring her with over the top compliments that the boring sweater she picked out would be great for the cocktail party. I was like WTF? Makes me wonder if the clothes I bought are really good "date night" choices. For some reason, I didn't have the presence of mind to take photos in the dressing room. sheesh. I will get pix in the next day or two and ask for votes - returning anything that isn't awesome, that stuff is expensive!

That is all.

that's just mean... can't talk about food like that unless you bring some to share!

So what I find even more fascinating - not insulting, but fascinating, is the people that didn't know me fat. I have a friend who I met actually while I was losing weight. She shared with me a pic from last year when I was about 50# heavier then i am now.... I lost over 150 total so she never saw me REALLY heavy. anyway, she is astounded at the transformation and I keep telling her she really has NO idea. And then, there are a few others that know about my "history" but I think at some level don't believe it. Like I have heard more than once that I don't look like someone who was ever heavy. Like, should we have the scarlet letter sewed on our shirts? What does it mean that someone looks like they used to be heavy?...LOL I am not insulted, I do find it curious though. I saw my family last night and my sister and niece wondered why it is I keep losing weight. I finally told them my actual weight, which is 150# and for someone 5'5" that is along way from twiggy. They were shocked and almost didn't believe me, they thought I was way lighter/smaller. I think there is a certain amount of dismorphia from the outside going on here... Anyway, I too try to change the subject. Many of my work colleagues are at remote locations so i don't see them often so the shock waves of "oh my god, is that you?" continue for me...

Yea, Friday I woke up feeling like a million bucks. My good friend and i went out friday night and then I was tired again. Oh well, one day at a time... all in all, I am definately recovering and feeling good though. The important thing to know about plastics is they are hard to recover from. I think the contrast is really noticed if you were pretty active.... and then you can't be. Anyway, its good, I am happy with results and it is (mostly) behind me now.

This thread has been weird, entertaining AND educational. And now I seem to be craving pomegranets and I am not even sure i like them. I do want to go to Australia though. I know one crazy from the land down under (really this guy is over the top) guy that worked with me in the USA. I was assigned to keep him out of HR trouble... seriously... he needed adult supervision. He was alot of fun though but now back in oz. Maybe I should look him up and see if he is still alive and kicking and wants a visitor...haha! (he owes me as I am sure I kept him from getting sued or fired or both for that big mouth)

Laura - thank you for the recipe! I may bring yet one more carb ladden thing to our thanksgiving feat. Georgia - that must be so strange to spend the holidays "on the road." How are you coping? I used to LOVE holidays, but they haven't been the same since my sis died. And now my kids had the nerve to grow up... I often wish I could just hide on Christmas as it tends to remind me of what I have lost rather then all the good things I have now. I need to shift that. M2G - I like your determination. I am NOT going to let crappy holiday food interfere with my health. I lost weight last year over the holidays and this year I intend to maintain! I don't even LIKE crappy food that much, it is more like an addiction rather than true pleasure. I feel like crap if I over do it, so what kind of sane person would keep overdoing it??? It is like having too many drinks - one is fun, three makes me feel like shit, so why do it?? So, it is easier for me that I don't host holidays anymore and the big eating boys are out of the house. I no longer have an excuse to make huge quantities of food that none of us really need. They aren't the food junkies - I was - and I used them as justification for food I wanted to cook and eat. Brown - wondering how you are doing Cheri - whats up? I know that isn't everyone... but thinking about all of you. I was also wondering if this forum should have a membership "check". Lots of personal stuff is shared here... there are members who rarely post so not sure how engaged they are. As for me, I did 6:1 last 2 weeks, now going to tackle 5:2 again!

when I read this originally I sorta focused on that book. It impacted me too, so much I don't even remember a thing about it other then feeling so emotional. I never want to read it again. I know exactly what you mean about carbs drugging you. What I try to articulate is that for me, both the way of eating AND the extra fatsuit had that result. It numbed me. It made it possible to live with a man who never touched me and seldom talked to me. A situation that became intolerable once I wasn't "drugged". I can go on and on about that. I know nothing about your health conditions so have no idea at all if any of this is relevant, but for me personally, simple is often better. Like are there things you can do in life to strip away some negatives? I don't know, just throwing that line of thought out there. Is the IUD a simple, good thing or does it leave you wondering if it is messing you up? If it is stressful, even if it is just in your head, consider removing the damn thing. BTW, I have lots of chin hair and have since my 20s and it is unrelated to anything except that is what my body does. I probably have PCOS, but, never bothered with a diagnosis. What pisses me off is that i did laser hair treatment which worked great for like a year and now it is like I never had it done. What I realize is that I need to do laser treatment as a "hair management" strategy - for me, there is apparently no true hair removal that is permanent. Luckily, there are always good deals on groupon... Oddly, I don't have excess hair anywhere else and in fact my legs have pretty light hair. I feel your stress about the MS - I think it is normal. I don't know what I would do, but hopefully you get MS specific support - other patients, counseling, I am not sure. Just like this weight loss journey is more doable with pals, I would think that would be too. My baby sis who was also my best friend died of breast cancer at 40... that memory haunts me and follows me. I try to not think too much about it, but have been waiting for the shoe to drop so to speak. I miss her terribly and also fear suffering her same fate. I only mention this, because I can imagine how I would feel with a diagnosis of a tough disease...it's frightening and anger provoking and frankly doesn't seem fair AT ALL. Linda once told me that the day he let go of the "it's not fair" feeling was the day she was at treatment and was sitting next to a 9 year old girl... with no hair and clearly at the end of her life. Now that wasn't fair either. Anyway, I am making myself sad dragging all that up and that wasn't my intention - but rather to say that this crap is tough to go through and I think your state of mind is to be expected as all this rolls through you and you work through how to live a good life WITH this diagnosis. Keep up the hope.

Globe - is it the kat person or the lipstick person that is the goader? So, I am going to counsel forgiveness/moving on/forgetting about her. I think alot of people who have WLS have emotional issues. They are likely pre-existing, but certainly heightened by the emotions of not being able to stuff it down with food. I worked as a waitress many years ago at a restaurant that didn't serve booze and so we got alot of the AA crowd. They, as a group, were a mean and bitter bunch of people....nothing pleased them, they criticized everything and everybody and chainsmoked and drank coffee like it was their last pleasure on earth. More than once, cops had to be called due to physical altercations among "sober" people - it was nuts. I remember that surly crowd everytime somebody on this forum comes across as a mean bitch. I tell you, it was about enough to make you NEVER START drinking... I struggle with my own advice as it applies to the moderator of the FB group for my plastic surgeon. She picks on me and does alot of small things toward me that are very unsupportive. I have no idea why I antagonize her but I realized that I can't seem to do anything right in her eyes - so I either leave or stay but fighting about it is a losing proposition. And a waste of time - she collects and plays with premie dolls (I could not make that up) and seems to have few real relationships. I try to take a deep breath and realize that I haven't walked in her shoes ... and can't really understand her mind... and then I go and enjoy my friends, my dogs, my family, and look forward to riding horses and living a full life again very very very soon... and she will still just have her preemie dolls to cuddle and dress up. Reminding myself of that makes it a little easier to let her zingers roll off ... My EX husband (I married my high school sweetheart, divorced in my early 30s) one time told me something that I am not sure if it was just mean, or just the truth, but he told me i sometimes make things look easy and it makes people jealous. I can't relate to that, because i have worked so hard for everything in my life... but... according to him, i could be very "off putting". hmmm. Maybe something I should explore. globe - I would say there are about 50 posts in this thread that I meant to and wanted to respond to. So many intelligent and thoughtprovoking ideas. Truth of the matter is alot of times I read from my phone or kindle and posting is a pain with both... and then I lose track and forget about them or get distracted by whatever is new. I will go back and look for your post because I do care about you and value your input. I learn from everybody, but especially people who are a little further out from me and have worked through the things that are ahead of me still... I do also want to mention something about Dr Sauceda. He will be in Vegas in mid June - great chance to meet him, his anestheologist (and wife!) and to see a bunch of "afters" results. Lots of former patients will be there to show off their bodies...LOL. (formerly fat middle age people seem to think we look good in bikinis just because we don't have pannies anymore - ha). He is doing consults for $35 - I think the money is to fund the social events going on. I am tentatively planning on going because I want to discuss possible future facework but also because I am going to vegas with a girlfriend anyway... so why not combine the two? anyway, if that works for your logistics, you should consider it. I think an in person consult... and then have time to think about it is a really good idea. I did enough of them with local surgeons, but I would have been freaked out if my first consult was the night before my surgery.... I know you are a little above your goal. I have heard that being at goal gives you better results, but i will say that the ladies with slightly higher weight/more bodyfat had more dramatic changes than I did. Sometimes it makes me feel just a teeny jealous...LOL. anyway, talking over your own situation with a surgeon is really a good idea. So last nights party went great. I had to face the music about not telling my family about going to Mexico for plastics in advance. I accidently posted something on FB which is how they found out. Everyone was very supportive, but hurt that i didn't trust to tell them, trust to share my anxiety, trust to share my hopes about it. I have two friends that won't return my phone calls - I am quite sure over the same thing. Moral of the story, withhold info from people who trusted you, and you risk damaging that trust. I know we can all say "its not about them" but truthfully people are hurt by that sort of thing. Or, other moral of the story, don't post to FB when on heavy duty pain meds...lol

Context is everything. What I know about Globe is that she is about 3 years out, and has experienced the "woo hoo" this is amazing, I lost weight (and look at that amazing provocative photo - I would post it if I had one that looked THAT hot too..haha) and then the harsh realities of a little regain. When I saw her remark I interpeted it as wondering how perspectives change over time... given that i knew that history. Also given that I know she is a nice person and would never intentionally hurt someone unprovoked but also isn't one to wilt away from tough topics. I personally rarely posted on this forum probably my first 6-9 months because I was overly sensitive and processing alot of emotions. I have noticed at times people can easily jump to feeling hurt or targeted which happens all over the internet but i think post weight loss surgery is an emotional time for many of us (well for me anyway!). I was going to say I don't have a food philosophy but of course that isn't true. My philosophy is to keep adapting to what I need. I use a few measuring sticks - my health (blood work and other measures of health), the scale and my looks. They give me feedback as to whether what I am doing works or it doesn't and I adjust. So, as someone who did not do well with the band, I started out my sleeve journey very strict - I weighed and measured everything, I followed the prescribed list and rules to a "t". I had to swallow some pride and admit that after a lifetime of dieting that only got me fatter, maybe I wasn't such a smarty pants about food and nutrition. I had a couple of times of "disorganized" eating post sleeve and nearly had a panic attack over it... like OMG, only 3 months out and i am already failing AGAIN... I must be failing because i am not perfect, right? I was working with a dietician and she wisely determined that in order for me to transition to a lifelong approach i needed to shift gears. It took a leap of faith for me to stop weighing and measuring since that is the "tried and true" approach to weight loss (and I encourage everyone to keep doing it as it is the most successful strategy for MOST people). She challenged me to trust my body. My thought was, my body is not trustworthy... why the heck should I do that!?! Amazingly, once I used the tools she helped me learn, my weight loss actually accelerated... for awhile. I got to around 7-8 months out and my weight loss slowed to a crawl. I realized two things were going on. The NUT pointed out that I was slowly starting to "abuse" Protein bars. Ha, can't have snickers but surely Quest bars twice a day is fine, right? Well, I have become aware that I am prone to transferring my food dependance to almost anything and that it is the "disordered" aspect I need to be aware of. For quite awhile, I cut bars completely out of my diet. Second thing I realized is that once I hit about 190 I was feeling pretty comfy and actually had mixed feelings about losing more. I had to work through that before i could continue. Once I decided to get serious about getting to a normal BMI I went low carb and significantly changed my workout routine. That was what I needed to get to goal in Feb. By midsummer, a few too many parties and BBQs had helped me regain about 5# and so I went on 5:2 to get back under my goal. Miraculously it worked so well, I dropped a few more pounds. Not sure 5:2 is a philosophy - but my point is to keep adapting to what works. So now in maintenance I do allow indulgences but I pick them carefully. I view it as good health practices - the real dangerous slope for me is to allow a lot of small things interfere. I went to a bday party last night - everybody ate, drank and was merry. I had a glass of wine and some veggie appetizers but I decided i don't even like cake very much, so why eat a slice or two like everyone else did? No deprivation, just doing a little calorie/carb math and decided it wasn't worth it. So, I am both very strict (zero fast food, no junky food in the house etc) but also allow myself indulgences that I truly want AND that don't have a history of triggering hunger. If I start regaining, I will need to look at this again, and adapt as needed. Sometimes it feels "hard" and I am only 2 years out... long road ahead. I do remind myself though that when I weighed 300# I struggled A LOT to keep from weighing 350# and by comparison, this isn't that hard actually.

Estrogen is stored in fat and it floods your system during rapid weight loss. I didn't have anger but sure felt the rollercoaster. It does level out but I think counselor and other suggestions are good. I do want to comment on the idea that losing weight will make you happy. No. Losing weight will make you healthier, clothes fit better and confidence is boosted. However all your problems remain and you no longer have food and the fatsuit to shield and comfort you. NOW is the time to be tackling any underlying problems as they will get worse once u no longer numb yourself with food and layers of fat. I AM happy overall but this has been an epic journey...

Wish I could loan you some of mine.

I am appalled at the staples thing and that people believe it. OMG. BTW, plenty of good surgeons in the NW....

I overdid it yesterday and am exhausted. On top of that feeling sad today. I just want to crawl in bed but have a party I have to attend. My SIL 50th. At least it's not my 50th ...

I would love an amazing dressing recipe!

My advice is get used to it and learn how to make others comfortable with the topic. I lost alot of weight and some people freaked out on me... when I travel to other locations I am often not recognized. I had a couple of guys really react....like telling me I am hot in a shocked...like who could ever imagine THAT tone. I could be insulted but I took the gracious route. I have so many supporters...I feel blessed by their genuine happiness for me. I too am a professional career woman. Of course people noticed we were obese! This is a mixed blessing part of the journey.

Fyi- I am 2 years out from vsg surgery. Finally feeling good after plastics.

I bought a coffee cup warmer at bed bath and beyond for $5. My itty bitty plate fits on it okay and keeps it warm.

I have never done a hookup (at least what I think you mean) so I don't know. Do you think that spending time getting to know the person, seeing if there is chemistry, common interests etc would be an approach? Do you know if he is looking for something more right now? Seems that could be a limiting factor if he doesn't want that in general.

This staple stuff mentioned in this thread is nonsense - those of you presurgery - speak to your own surgeon and get facts. It is a waste of time to even debate things like this. I have a longer history with bariatric surgery than many others. In 2001, i had the lapband implanted shortly before they were FDA approved. I was living in Europe at the time and my surgery was done by a very well known bariatric surgeon there. I was not successful with it and I can give lots of reasons - but the reality of it is that I only lost about 55% of what I needed to lose AND then I started having complications (uncontrolled reflux was the primary symptom) and eventually alot of vomiting - my problems started in the first 5-6 months post op. I never had it overfilled, I did work closely with my surgeon the first year or two, I was just one of those people that had problems. I had to have all the Fluid removed after about 2 years out and wound up regaining what I lost. Many will sing the chorus that I needed to have just eaten better... well duh... but reality if it is that MOST people who have fluid completely removed wind up regaining. Even with zero fluid, the band gave me problems and after many years of denial (ie ignoring my symptoms) I finally had it removed. I can honestly say it degraded my quality of life for 10 years and i was still obese. I have negative feelings about my experience, but, I made the choice and lived with the consequences. I revised to the sleeve nearly 2 years ago and have had success beyond my dreams. It has been complication free, painfree, vomit free. It saved my life so of course I am biased to think it is awesome. I can't even begin to express how glorious it is to be a nice medium/size 8... compared to the 3x/26W (and who knows really what size since I smushed into clothes) that I started with. this is just one persons story - and is not the basis that ANY pre-ops should make their decisions on. You should seriously do your research and decide on your own; but I implore you to get actual information from medical studies, from reputable and experienced surgeons. People out here (including me) sharing our own personal stories is not research - it is more like FYI data points. I am not anti gastric bypass, it was what the first surgeon I saw wanted me to revise to. I somehow just never got comfortable with it and so didn't. I have however known several people who are very successful with the bypass and are very happy living with the procedure over their life. The published studies clearly indicate that the gastric bypass has good results and the complication rate if I recall was only slightly higher than the sleeve. Now, the reason I personally didn't consider the plication is because i felt like I got the band when results were not deep and plentiful enough to make a good decision. Frankly, I didn't really know how to research and I think didn't ask the right people the right questions either. Anyway, I just could not get comfortable trying something that wasn't broadly done. I felt a certain sense of "running out of time" and needed to do something that was more commonly done and had more information readily available to me. Again, that is just my own bias from my history of the lapband - gunshy about these things now. Nobody discusses the DS (duenodal switch) which is by far the riskiest but also most successful surgery. I have to tell you I thought about it, but felt like it was such a big step. I have since found out from plastic surgeons in the USA that their highest complication rates are from DS patients I guess because they have malabsorption bigtime. Of course, DS patients get to eat high fat/high calorie diets compared to sleevers so there are certainly advantages. For some people, this surgery should be looked at seriously - people that are very very high BMI have the best chance of getting to a normal weight with a DS. Anyway, it is a very personal subject and I really want preops to learn about the procedures and understand how it will impact their lives. It is helpful if people share experiences, but remember we are all very biased based on our own personal experiences. Each procedure has pros and cons, successess and failures, complication risks and long term concerns... but luckily for most of us you can live a pretty normal life once you are past that initial preop period (I never could with the filled band due to the vomiting but others do okay with the band). Get the surgery, work the tool, lose the weight and get on with living a full life!

so, next week I think I will do two fast days... thinking Tues and Friday. Wait, I think I am having dinner with a friend on Tuesday so that might not work. Dang, Wed and Friday? Maybe Monday, Wed and Friday to counterbalance having pie and wine on Thursday? haha!!! I am not hosting turkey day so easier for me to leave the leftovers somewhere else. I am making side dishes and I plan to make quantities such that there won't be leftovers - I am stuck making the carby food i really don't need (mashed potato and gravy and the yams are my assignment!) so i don't need to make a crazy portion and be talked into taking it home. Especially for those in the USA - what are you thinking for Thanksgiving feast week?

It is easy for me to remember, I work for a European based company. I start work no later than 6am (PST - west coast of usa) so I can do 3pm meetings with the guys in Germany and Netherlands; which is 9am for my colleagues in Boston (east coast of usa). So, European CET day starts 9 hours earlier that west coast of usa; 6 hours before East coast USA, UK is of course one hour behind CET. What blows my mind is when you throw Asia, Australia into the mix. Once you cross the international dateline, I can't make any sense of it and need to use some sort of online calculator. Its great fun when I need to schedule meetings crossing about 6 timezones and the dateline.... grrr... trust me, somebody, usually more that one person winds up with a really really bad meeting time! I sometimes miss the good ole days when everbody I needed to work with was sitting in the same building as me, but i surely have experienced alot more of the world since my job changed to working with teams everywhere! That part I like. So, scale says 148.9 two days in a row. I think I need to see the 14x for a week before I believe....