CowgirlJane

An interesting set of circumstances to share...i no longer seek to post most flattering pix, but most current and "real looking". Also, I almost never have a second date if it is just a coffee meeting . I don't know why... what I have found more successful is to meet for a beverage, late afternoon. If we hit it off, we have a bite to eat and it becomes that 2 hour date. I know many are into the 20 minute coffee dates, but I have gotten good at screening so don't have those...OMG..meetings anymore..Haha. Sent from my KFJWI using the BariatricPal App

@@Oregondaisy I'd be like that guy - only I would hide my irritation (good manners!) because the realisation that this just won't work....I dunno it can trigger disappointment. I have soul searched and I know I can't do long distance - 45 minute drive is my outer limits. I still have someone in Portland I'd love to start seeing but I don't want it and know I would feel disappointed so I don't go there . Sorry he didn't figure it out until the middle of the date though.... My theory is that people disappear for many reasons and it has less to do with the person you are talking with than the overall life situation. Daisys thing was different because it was long distance logistical planning, but let's all be honest - haven't YOU all "disappeared" on someone you are chatting with? For me it happens when I get busy or just not in the mood to type back and forth. People aren't real until we have met, it seems. And then, sometimes it is about the person I am chatting with... I recently had a really great phone chat with someone and they bring up Trump and how we need to drive "foreigners" out or say something equally stupid on any subject...I don't confront, I just stop contact. Doesn't mean I want someone who agrees with me on everything, but I can't accept certain things and I feel zero desire to justify it. I am sure I am considered a"flake" by those guys. (I have been on several dates with a very conservative attorney and we get along fine because he is not an idiot nor racist even though our political views aren't identical.)

@@Oregondaisy you are right, Amazon Prime. I watched a season or two and have had my "fill" of that show. I just don't bother with long distance or guys who are hesitant to switch to URL. I just assume their life is "complicated" by wife, girlfriend or other situations I don't want to be a part of...they don't count, good riddance, bye bye. @@Cervidae I hear ya, but that isn't how it works, people just fade away. I used to see it as lack of integrity but I am opening my mind up to seeing rudeness as a new social norm. The problem with my shift in attitude is that if people cool off on communication I assume they are moving on since so few have the guts to say something directly. I have misread this before so it is better if people can be direct and courteous to avoid misunderstanding.

I am curious too since this thread was recently resurected!

I resisted for a long time too, but most newer members use the phone apps and what they see is different. It changes the experience. For example, I started out as a lurker. It wasn't until I found a few success stories with similar start weights as myself that I started to believe I might make this work. I found them via their tickers and siggies and you don't see that on the app. My first interactions were messages to a few of those people...followed by discussions on the band to sleeve forum. It made a big difference to me to find role models, success stories that I could relate to.

How annoying. I guess people fade away because until you meet it is all just a fantasy. I suspect they are not genuine - either married or they don't look anything like they said or some other reason they really never planned to meet. Or maybe the distance is an issue for them, but they enjoyed the chatting until it "got real" During my convelescence I watched alot of Netflix, including Catfished by MTV. people who make false identities just for ego boosts and build these online relationships with no intentions of meeting or becoming real (because it's all based on lies) and maybe that has biased me into thinking this is why they disappeared when you are ready to meet. All that dang true crime stuff has made me think about danger too, sheesh, but besides taking reasonable precautions you do have to incur some risk in meeting new people. I can't wait until the weather and my health improve...I am going a little stircrazy!

Newbies won't appreciate this as much, but we used to be able to tell a little bit about a person when reading posts. I find it helpful to know if I am reading words from preop or a seasoned veteran or something in between. The signatures are a bit much (tickers and the lengthy signatures take so much space on a mobile app!) But is there someway for basic info to be visible on the mobile app? I know everyone has gone to apps but the browser version is just better and I really like seeing signatures and basic info. (I know you can't display most of it on the app.) Navigation is a challenge at times. I was trying to find a specific forum to post in on my phone. I scrolled through about 500 forums...lol...and really wondered if they are being used. Would removing forums that havent been posted to in...I dunno, a year? reduce the volume of data you are trying to display? I think volume of content is contributing to the navigation cumbersome ness since it wasn't a problem before the merging of the sites. On the new app, the "subscribed" tab doesn't tell me when a fourum is updated. Since that doesn't work, it's the same as the participated tab. The pop up ad I get for the bariatric pal store is disruptive. How about a nice banner ad on the main screen? I am admittedly anti popup.

Yes, that was the sad fate of some girl scout cookies... proving once again what I have said a million times - I just can't let that stuff in my house!!!!

I took 3 weeks also - no pain, but fatigue. I think I also had a slight case of the blues which sucks your energy. Lots of people go back after 1 week, but I was a band to sleeve revision, high BMI and I am guessing all that factors in.

If 100percent regain is what his patients experience I would be thankful for the info and seek a surgeon with a better track record. Yes, some regain happens, maintenance takes diligence. I lost 150# and have been maintaining. My sleeve was Dec 2011 - 4 1/4 years ago. I'll let everyone know where I am at 5years post op in Dec. Sent from my KFJWI using the BariatricPal App

So, the controversial part is the "goal weight". The target weight for me to have lost 100percent is for me to weigh 140#. At least when I am well muscled, that weight is too low. So I lost 100percent to get to goal, but not quite 100percent they way it is calculated. So the math is simple...using this example as an illustration only: Start weight = 225 Target weight =125 Excess =100 If I lose 50# 50/100=50percent 80# 80/100=80 percent etc Since your numbers arent likely so "round" use a calculator. My start was 308, my target is 140, my excess was 168. I hit my goal weight by losing 150....150/168=89 percent of excess weight lost. At 6 months I had lost 94/168# so I had lost 56 percent of my excess by 6 months. Why do I share this??? Anybody that knows and sees me considers me trim/fit at my goal and would say I lost ALL my excess whereas statistically I only lost 89 percent. So when you see statistics of people losing 80percent of their excess weight - chances are that group of people has done pretty well!! Not all of us fit into the lower BMI bucket..our build, musuclar structure etc cause us to weigh heavy and yet our success is measured by the same stick. Sent from my KFJWI using the BariatricPal App

Oh, you don't eat the 500 in one sitting, but you do try to keep from eating at night etc. When I am following it I do stuff like don't eat after 7pm and on a fast day try not to eat until say noon or 1 the next day. It gives your pancreas etc a chance to rest and not constantly digesting and managing blood sugar. Truly-it isn't that hard and it's very effective. You don't need books, everything you need to know is available on the internet.

There is a 5:2 thread on the vets forum that has many tips and tricks. We also have a few really experienced 5:2 vets - if notifications work,perhaps @@Georgia @@feedyoureye or@@Oregondaisy will chime in! It's very effective, I used it as a maintenance tool as well. Also, it is a longevity increasing diet - appears to have many health benefits. Downside, for some people it triggers anxiety. I do a very modified 5:2 because I eventually figured out the negative impact it had on my emotional state. I haven't experimented enough to say for sure, but I think the combo of low carb with the 2 really low calorie days per week was just not enough brain nourishment. I think I have heard this from a handful of others but MOST people do ok on it. It helps you curb cravings, it tends to drive you to eating smaller quantities, it is not too hard to follow. Many of us sleevers use 500 calories as the target for "fast" days and then whatever you would normally eat - say 1500 as your normal 5 days. This is slightly different as standard 5:2 would have you eat 1/4 your normal on fast days....it just seems like that can be awfully low and many of us found the 500 calories to work well. It is key to NOT overeat on the normal or"feeding" days. I tend to avoid th a that term"feeding" as it does not mean 5 days of overdoing it.

Still has not passed. It's really unpleasant and I have to aggressively medicate to stay on top of the pain and nausea. I stopped gaining weight, but I am really starting to feel like crud, but in a more chronic, not so much acute kind of way. I am not hungry so I don't eat and then I'm starved so I eat something junkie. This has little to do with the stone - well except the nauseous feeling, but is part of the misery factor. I feel gross. I have been faking it, but in truth I just don't even want to do anything or go anywhere due to all this. Just one stone, not multiple I am calling tomorrow about the blasting, I am tired of being sick and tired. Also, I HAVE to take IB daily or else the pain is uncontrollable. I am going to use my tv MD (I've watched alot of doctor tv shows!!!) And conclude that I have significant inflammation if I get unstoppable stabbing pain if I miss my NSAID dose. I have to take percaset also - but percaset alone and I still spiral out of control. Also, although it would be charming to look about 12 weeks pregnant if I were 25 and had an actual baby bump....but having a middle age gassy bump - well I just can't spin that positive! I did learn something about treating constipation...that"smooth move" herbal tea seems to work better than Miralax. I also learned that ginger ale makes me feel good because my mom would have given it to me.

I understand the reason we all want an answer as to "what to expect" but those calculators really miss the mark. Same as bmi charts don't fit everyone. The empowering thing to know is how much influence each of us have over our own results Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I337 using the BariatricPal App

@@Valentina I shared those beliefs until I met the surgeons at my bariatric practice. Never have I experienced the compassion, taking time to educate and encouraging realistic yet life changing results. They are tuned into the emotional issues - don't try to solve them, but do screen for them. Best of all, they believe in follow up. Lately they have been doing radio spots, which I normally detest from doctors, but the tone of theirs is awesome. It isn't just about recruiting new surgical patients, they speak about helping people get back on track in such a welcoming way. I know my surgeons are a rare breed, but I feel like primary care docs lack training in obesity and really don't know enough about metabolic disorders to fill the role. I do agree there is often a gap, especially over the long haul. I am 4 years out and haven't been seen by my bariatric team in quite awhile. I think I will go in this year because it gives me some peace of mind and because I have had a rough go of it Healthwise over the last 2 months. Bloodwork is good, but I wonder if something Is"up" or if I am just unlucky lately. Sent from my KFJWI using the BariatricPal App

I awoke a little depressed and I think I know why. Intermittent nausea so I don't always eat well. Then I get hungry and I eat junk. No wonder I don't feel good. I got really ill feeling yesterday so ate Protein drink, some nuts and then Cookies for"dinner". I feel like i am poisoned from all that - and no real food. Sent from my KFJWI using the BariatricPal App

Hey coops,so glad to hear from you! Glad you are mending. welcome to my world. I am getting better but it's been weeks of total exhaustion...just from sitting up! I look about 3 months pregnant. My tummy is normally flat, to slightly concave and I now have a "bump". My friend thought I was exaggerating until I showed her! I am giving the stone another week to resolve, then I am going to have it blasted. I need my body functions returned to normal!!! Sent from my KFJWI using the BariatricPal App

My own personal experience was that specific, ongoing and comprehensive education was a key success factor. When I was banded didn't get clear education on how to manage food and I was often hungry but would vomit too easily eating dense Protein...so I gravitated towards sliders. When I revised to sleeve I specifically sought out a program that had what I knew I missed and have been very successful and maintaining too. I was very motivated both times, and had very different outcomes. I understand there are emotional, psychological issues at play too, but it it was a good procedure that initially limited my quantity capacity and hunger...and then the education over the long haul of how to keep"working the sleeve" were much more important in my case. It seems hard to believe but one of the reasons I always failed at weight management was my all consuming drive to eat, my 24/7 hunger. Once that was reduced, it became much more possible to be compliant.

I can't imagine he thinks it is normal to vomit for 9 months. You need to go somewhere else. Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I337 using the BariatricPal App

Awhile ago I went on a few dates with a guy who looked 10 years older and 50# heavier than his photo. I decided (not sure why ) to let it slide. What I noticed was I had a hard time believing him, so I suspect you are more judgmental of the deception than of his weight. If someone is running late and they contact me, I'd wait for a bit. If they are seriously late either they have a great reason. And a reschedule or...bye. shockingly I haven't had that happen yet ...but I try to show respect toward his time and I think he should show me the same. Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I337 using the BariatricPal App

Ok in my universe implying, not so indirectly that women use their bodies to get money is an insult. While it is obviously true of some it certainly isn't of most ... so is the fact that men use their strength to rape and intimidate a good topic to toss out there?. Would a smiley face make that funny? If so well I guess that says alot. Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I337 using the BariatricPal App

No soapbox...but a smiley face doesn't make an insult funny. Sent from my KFJWI using the BariatricPal App

The problem with data, it is often wrong. I don't know how to fix that. Examples are cause of death on death certs - I was shocked to see my mother's because yes her heart and lungs failed and so she died of pulomonary disease (don't recall exactly how it was worded) but that was not the underlying condition. I have no way of knowing if average EWL of 60, 70 percent at 5 years is accurate, but my gut tells me it's in the ballpark based on people I know. You are right that those numbers will include people with bad side effects. It took me a long time to figure out why lap band results were so much better than the circle of people I knew for 10 years, all banded in a few years..then the explanation hit me. One, i think newer bands may have better results but more importantly, it you are measuring excess weight loss, it doesn't matter if that band was removed. The most successful banded person I knew in real life (maintained at goal for a long time) revised to sleeve after complication developed but before regain. My band surgeon followed results via annual survey which included removal. Anyway, the stats aren't the whole story, and you do have to be careful about assuming that just because a particular procedure is 70percent that you personally will lose 70percent of excess weight. It just doesn't work that way - but it's the best info we have. Sent from my KFJWI using the BariatricPal App

Indeed, I have met some characters, but everyone referred to here appears to be on their meds, stable, any criminal history well behind him and generally pleasant enough sorts. The really eerie part is none of them are boring - so all in all things are starting off well! Summer is my season of recreation so if I haven't settled on someone to see in a few months...I'll let it fade away while I enjoy my summer. For now, this is going pretty ok. Sent from my KFJWI using the BariatricPal App