CowgirlJane

I have lost 160# and now weigh about 150# so I used to be twice my current size. I am exactly the person that changed so much people recognize me by my hair, my voice and my laugh which are all apparently quite distinctive! Parts of your question are hard to answer, but some are simple. I have no judgement toward obese people. I know how physically difficult it is, how some suffer from social stigmatism. If any overweight person asks me about my transformation, I share it all in hopes they may find a path to recovery themselves. In general however, I am not interested in what other people eat, do or how they live their lives... it just isn't my nature to be so worried about someone else. I have my own life keeping me busy! It is like, do I judge with appalling disgust someone who is losing his/her hair just because i have a full head of the stuff? No way, that would be a stupid waste of energy in my opinion... and pointless and just plain mean. Now, I think imbedded in your question is way more... "do you feel like a different person?" and I think that is way bigger then do you discriminate against obese people. I feel like I am finally who I always was but buried under mounds of fat and the numbness of overeating. I feel like the personality I exhibited at 300# was a lie and the person I am now is genuine. I am much more open and straightforward, honest about my feelings and needs now. When my relationships don't fullfill me, or meet some need/desire I have - I speak up rather then trying to bury that hurt/emptiness with food. It cost me relationships, BUT it also created for me much deeper and better ones. I welcome people into my life, but somehow don't really need them. I have my insecurities, don't get me wrong but in general I feel blessed with a good life and good looks and good health and good family etc etc. The sadness I have at times is facing that I am 49 and I missed out on literally DECADES of the chance to feel good and enjoy things in life that I take for granted now. It was like I was living only 2/3 of a life before and that is time I can never get back. Regrets are useless... just look forward and make the best of it, but at times, I do feel that sadness of loss. Now as far as eating like a bird. That is the freaking reality for women past menopause whether they had a sleeve or not. The reason most middle age women are at least a little overweight is because they eat too much for their bodies. I know this because i have a couple of fit/trim friends and have paid alot of attention how they eat - very similiar to me! I date now and occasionally get razzed a little for ordering off the appetizer menu but I have no problem looking someone in the eye and saying "that is why I fit into this outfit you just complimented me on"... or something along those lines. I stand up for myself and if someone doesn't like that I skip dessert and eat light... they can take a flying leap...haha Luckily, my family and friends are all just thrilled for me and I have really gotten tons of kudos, love, support and "you're hot" remarks from the lot of them. It really makes me feel good that they care enough about me that they are happy for me and not jealous or mean about it.

Okay, I had ALOT of plastics done two months ago so I can give a little logistical advice. You can shower with drains - get a lanyard to wear around your neck and hook the drains to it. My surgeon considered a daily shower as very important and he had us doing it the very day after surgery. I was instructed to gently wash with antibiotic soap and I had no wound issues. Follow your surgeons instructions, but if you are permitted to shower, the lanyard deal works! I HATED the drains and the last one had to come out while I still had alot of output, well, it basically fell out. anyway, drains are so helpful at keeping swelling down and preventing seronomas (spelling?) so look on the bright side. A lady who had plastics 2 weeks after me - her drains came out sooner and she had much worse swelling then I did. I am 2 months post op and still have twinges, tingles, numbness near the LBL incision and the latest feature is a bit of numbness down my left forearm from the arm lift. Surgeon said nerve weirdness can take 8-12 months to resolve. sigh. It isn't bad, don't get me wrong, but now i really understand when people say recovery from plastics is a LONG journey. Good thing I look so dang good or I would be unhappy...haha

My update was missed... so adding in. Ms. Skinniness= Dorrie ~ Fullerton Ca Feedyoureye= Kim- Sacramento CA Sarsar = Sarah-Wisconsin MG2= Sheila - Centennial CO Ccjane = Sheryl - NorthEast of Seattle WA Georgia = Georgia - Conway, AR Uk Cathy = Cathy- Cheltenham, England, UK Swizzly = Dee-Switzerland Brown= Wanda- New York now Cincy Globe= Florinda Susan= Susan Laura-ven= Laura- Los Gatos, CA Chimera= Kelly-Seattle Supersweetums= Sheila Coops= Sue - Pontypool, sunny South Wales UK OrgeonDaisey= Denise

Search Google for dsfacts stall. It is good info.

I dsagree, lower body lift was Not very painful for me. I had no lipo though. I have a thread here with pictures. Recovery has been hard though I need to post an update on that.

I didn't have any lipo since I didn't have enough excess to make it worth it, but I have been told that is much more painful than the skin removal. Is that where you are feeling most of the pain? I had plastics two months ago and it is a rough road to recovery in some ways. I didn't have pain or complications, but it is a BIG deal. However, i am astounded by the difference. I thought I looked pretty okay before, but now clothes fit so good, my arms are amazingly normal looking, my scars are healing up well - very flat. It is worth it if you had alot of skin. Hang in there, Kris, the swelling and all that takes awhile to resolve, but it will get better. Do you get to wear a tight tight compression garment? fun - not! but, necessary!

Globe - this is for you. I don't think my PM got to you answering your questions about costs of plastics so I will post it here. First thing I want to say is read this thread. I do NOT want to be unsupportive but I am appalled at the "finish" in this procedure. I realize that everyone's starting point is different, but her incisions do not look at all tidy like mine. http://www.bariatricpal.com/topic/291243-lower-body-lift-one-week-post-op/#entry3282831 I am paying attention because my boss wants to have her too large implants removed and a lift done. She was quoted $8500 in the USA - a discounted price since he was the surgeon that did her implants but really high! She is considering Mexico and logistically TJ is much easier so I am keeping an eye out for a good one in TJ. Dr Sauceda specializes in post massive weight loss so my boss doesn't really need that specialty - a good breast surgeon is all she needs. Okay, I paid about 16K USD to have lower body lift, arm lift, breast implant and lift and "small" thigh lift. That included everything except my food after i left the clinic. I had to pay for my friend's food and airfare too but the hotel room, compression garments, all clinic, surgeon and anesthesia, meds, nursing etc was included in the total. Compare that to the quotes I had in the USA to just have the LBL and breast work - about 21K- 26K range and that was going home same day, had to buy my own compression garments and rely on insurance for all meds. No nursing care. Then, I was never really clear on how much it would cost to have the arms and thighs done... but they were going to be two separeate procedures so a total of 3 operations. I think I would have been into it for about 40K in total, maybe more, over the course of 3 years since I couldn't take much time off from work would need to wait.

ha ha, FYE - I first read it like "artists, lovers" as opposed to art lovers. I like art, but sort of like the idea of being considered a "lover"...tee hee. Yes, nekkid pix which I did by the way remove. And our good friend Butter PM'd me to make sure I knew he saw it. I am really not shy I think after the holidays would be a better time to dive back into darker subjects, but I thought alot about this over the last 2 years - how a few pivotal events in my young life influenced my relationship with weight, food and even men.

Laura, we were posting at the same time. I will be honest, I won't post reguarly to the vets 5:2 post because i am NOT a good example. I have done well on 5:2 because the intermittant fasting part of it has helped "shake things up" and I think causes me to eat less on normal days but since I don't calorie count, I am not a good example for people starting out on it. Really, I do NOT recommend my approach to anyone it is just what works for me and a basic system I developed with a nutritionalist who recognized that after a lifetime of professional dieting, I needed a new way. I get overly.... what is the word... wound up and involved with food ... I think the word is obsessive... if I record it. she figured that out about me around 4 months post op and helped me take the leap of faith that there is another way. If my way had not worked, I would have been able to recover and switch back to detailed tracking but I would hate to influence someone who is already "shaky" so to speak and cause them to lose control over their food intake by tossing out the mfp or whatever tracker when they really need it. And lets me honest here, the big ole web is full of info on 5:2 and lots of resources for it they don't need this cowgirl's story of losing a whopping 13 pounds on 5:2...

ok, if this sounds bitchy, blame it on the carb hangover. It has been on my mind I think just needs to be said. One random person's remark shouldn't make us think we need to change the name of this group. I don't mean to offend anyone, but it seems like an over-reaction. This BP forum is full of people who say all sorts of things - I am not even sure that the original person even cares that much, know what I mean? What we have here is working, why mess with it? I have already suggested we can do more to help by actively maintaining a 5:2 thread on the vets forum and I say never even mention this group. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings and it isn't actually their business - hence the meaning of privacy. I also want to say that I am very happy (perhaps more than some others) to welcome new members as we see fit/the time is right/the person is right. I am really glad for example that Susan joined us, but i didn't really like how it happened. My feelings are not hurt, nothing needs to be undone, but I think in the future we should all feel comfortable with a new member joining due to the nature of some info shared here. BTW, I would have voted yes for Susan so please do not take this remark in anyway as against her joining. I am just saying that to maintain respect for people discussing their health, their family life, issues with teens and hubbies, emotional state, work woes, childhood abuse, their travel plans, their dating life, their cool shoes, British TV and tall men - all the important topics - that we are a little more careful with how new people join in the future. side note, I was actually interested in starting a discussion how previous abuse (ie non parental) might have contributed to how we found ourselves obese, but for me discussing that is deeply deeply personal and I need to feel like there is at least some level of privacy. Yes, I realize once I open my mouth or type anything, there is no guarantee, but holding it inside isn't really a good answer either. i have told you before that I have found others outside this circle to be a bit less understanding. Okay, my vent is over. S p.s. you can call me Jane, really you can.

Good news, after 3 days of eating carb debauchery... I feel crappy but the scale rewarded me with 149.1 I had gotten as low as 147, but if I can make it to the new year and stay in the 150 range I will be estatic. Well, True Blood is not a very good show to be honest. I always thought Sookie was kind of a flake - I read the books and she is like a sappy 12 year old girl only she plays in the big leagues... jumping from on very dangerous supernatural guy to the next. I probably sound like I do the same, but difference is - I am not having sex with them all, just one, I am not all gaga about them all and nobody drinks my blood. See, not like that bimbo Sookie AT ALL... lol I watched the first episode of Survivor (the British show sorta like Walking Dead only it is about a flu epidemic that leaves the world devastated). First episode was good - thanks for recommending it Globe (if memory serves me) GT - I think you have a tough few decisions to make and I am not sure how to weigh the pros and cons. One question I think you should consider is that if you stay on longer in your current job, will you be able to increase yoru savings enough to make a difference to the rest of your life? Meaning, will it help you launch yourself in university or some other future dream? If not, is it just buying time until you are forced to make a change - that isn't a bad thing - just think it should be clear what the real benefits are is all. Honestly, I think we should stop apologizing to offended chick. She isn't even a 5:2 follower! Just let it disappear....I think too much is made of it. and BTW, lots of regular posters seem to have disappeared since the move to BariatricPal. Even now, there are some I hardly see around. I try to still post in other forums and I know many of you do too. Those are ways we can help and support others - including a 5:2 thread like I suggested before. Now, I hesitate to tell people alot of details about my 5:2 approach because I don't follow it quite "by the book" since I am not a calorie counter. It has worked for me, but i don't want to lead any astray or confuse.

I don't know how well the band worked for you, but mine wasn't so great - had it for 10 years of pretty lousy actually. I did take the time to contemplate how I contributed to "failure" and one mistake I vowed to never make again was to blame myself and not seek help and support. I think it is great you have asked here and I think you should be very straight forward with your doctor. Don't be embarrassed, you need help! I am guessing he has seen all variations - fast and slow losers etc. I think that you might benefit from some sessions with a nutritionalist or even therapist. Reality of it is, you might be slower loser then you were with the band, or compared to some other sleevers. That is painful to accept, but honestly does it matter? I have lost 160# due to my revision, does anyone really think it matters how long it took? The journey is far from over for me even, because i am now in maintenance... in other words, there never is an "end" it is all a process, an ongoing way of living. So, ;practical advice, get yourself a sleeve guidebook (usually provided by your surgeon or NUT) and follow it as closely as you can! Who cares about Cookies, this is your health and life on the line here! Even doing that, it might be more slow and steady, but you will eventually make your goal weight. I think it took me 3 months post op to really get in the total groove with my sleeve. Nerves are damaged, I was dehydreated, sometimes I felt hungrier than I should, sometimes I had no appetite... all over the board. The key is to be eating the dense Proteins. I am talking fish, chicken, sandwhich meat etc etc. If you aren't hungry for a slice of sandwich meat wrapped in a piece of lettuce, are you really hungry? That goes along ways to filling you up and makes it easier to eat properly. There are lots of "sleeve basics" that i presume you know, but following them really does help. hang in there and don't give up!

I see no reason to start another 5:2 group because one lady who isnt even following 5:2 got a little offended. Want to help people? Lets start a 5:2 thread on the vets forum that has all the links and info and we can all post to it rgularly.... sort of the daily dscussion re 5:2 this thread was supposed to be. If we post to it regularly it will stay to the top or we could ask to pin it. I think non posters are those who havent posted in say 3-4 months. Even that should be by individual discretion.... in other wards a judgement call. We will all go through times when we might be away for weeks or even months but that doesn't matter to me it is people who dont participate at all that I think should be removed. Globe that comparison to Alcide from True Blood is a good one but thank goodness not covered in so much hair. What makes your comment even funnier is that I keep getting the feeling he hails from the south but he was born and raised in the same county as me. We leave the movie and he offers to get the car so I dont have to walk in the cold; sweet but unnecessary given it was 45 degrees, dry and I had a coat..and the car was maybe 200 feet away. haha. Steven isn't really like Erik Northman but I couldn't help but have to find a character for him..haha... tall and thin, older, a little wicked and hedonistic but deep down does the right things especially for Sookie. Really good kisser too that clearly has me glammed.

M2g I think we should cut non posters. In my mind that is important to privacy...

Globe glad to hear you are okay.... and I know what a difference the arms make on my silhouette. About 3 weeks post op my son's girlfriend almost didn't recognize me..except for my hair...my back sitting to them waiting at a bar. She could not see my abs or thighs....smaller arms changed my whole look. Steven didn't know I had skin removal on arms and thought I had somehow lost weight there (naive about reality that I really can't lose weight to fix the problem areas) 1, but very noticeable even under sleeves, more than I realized. So glad I didn't chicken out on the arms. I also lost my dad to the ravages of alcohol. I felt so much guilt when he died but it was mostly for all the years I spent wishing him dead. Time does help and I have come to a certain peace with it and you will too. One thought I have is that now is MY time, my life and I won't let my bad feelings over his life take any more of my precious time here. Yesterday the nieces and nephews were telling funny first date stories and how they met spouses.almost all were online dating. Anyway my niece's hubby talked about his mohawk and kilt he sported at the time. He always got "looks" so part of his reason was to be in control of that. When I go out and about,I get looks. When I was morbidly obese it was for my huge mid section. Now,I don't always know why,but I get"looks". I kind of like wearing something like those flashy shoes, or my striped sweater dresses or whatever and he articulated the reason. I feel confident in cool shoes and like to giggle with other women over it for example. I can go into a store and know I am dressed way outside the social norm and wear it with ease. If I don't have something that I know draws attention I wonder why people are looking. Don't tell me I am paranoid friends have noticed it too...I somehow stand out no matter what. Btw, I did not share my dating adventures. Maybe next year. Yeah and while colored jeans were a trend last spring,the purple jeans were not my best fashion risk...haha. Everyone loved my outfit yesterday including my shoes but I don't have pix! Red and black was my color scheme and I have cute flats with sparkles....my sis called them ruby slippers. This is a family of tennys, crocks and clogs which is all very Seattle. This is NOT a fashion town. Have any of you thought about stress and weight loss? I wonder now that most of us have already lost alot of weight if stress cortisol is part of the mystery.

Okay, here is my advice.... don't be scared, do something about it. The best way to keep that feeling of "tightness" is to eat in such a way to keep it tight. -Eat until no longer hungry, do not regularly "fill" your stomach -Don't drink with meals, do not pack that stomach -Avoid sliders - you know, the foods like crackers or chips that you can eat literally a whole bag and still feel you have room for more -Eat the dense, filling Protein food first. For me, beef or chicken is most filling, but salmon or other things can be too. Eat your few ounces of that and if you are not full, have a bit of veggies. Skip the potatoes, and any sliders. -Consider reducing your sugars - by that I mean reduce carbs. For some of us, carbs/sugars increase our appetite. I eat very limited fruit, bread, rice, noodles because those foods trigger hunger and don't satiate me. -Watch out for Protein Bars and other "health foods" as many of them are high carbs/sugar and don't fill you up very well. I argue they are somewhat "candy like" and tend to trigger food cravings. Protein drinks that are low carb have worked well for me though. I am 2 years out, I have lost 160# and in maintenance. The sleeve doesn't prevent me from eating anything, but it is a tool that helps me adhere to my healthy eating plan, if that makes sense.

I don't understand your question. I have now lost 160#. When did it become worth it to me? I think for me losing about 100-120 range, but the real pay off is maintenance.... So, the important topic - hunger. Are you on a PPI medication for acid? Early days post op, your stomach is still pumping out enough acid for a big tummy but you have a small one. Oddly, it feels like hunger. Really, most people need to take a PPI for weeks or even a few months post op. Also, nerves are damaged when a good chunk of stomache is removed. I suspect that many of us don't feel the fullness due to that in early weeks. Also, I assume you are still on liquid or mushy food. That is just NOT filling like dense food is. It will take you awhile before you are eating the kind of food that really makes you feel full. If you have a surgeon with a good track record, my advice is to follow the program and trust that it works. It does.

gee kelly, I didn't know you are just accross the pond from me! I am in Woodinville. Maybe when life settles down we can meet for retail therapy or something. Especially of Globe comes to visit to check out Antioch! Georgia - I like your profile pic, I think it is new... All - maybe we can plan a holiday escape..haha! Actually, I love being around my extended family. Today was the family party and I had a great time. My only complaint is the food... omg... so many sweet carbs. I feel like a stuffed slug. I don't "hate myself" in the sense of over indulgance, but I hate how I feel. I puffed up (I STILL swell from the plastics) throughout the day... uhggg. We talked, ate, sang Christmas songs (we have several musicians in the family that lead the sing alongs). I don't know, just a good time. The out of towners call and we pass the phone around so talk to the family that is out of state - it is a big doings. A distant relative was there today - in her late 90s but still sharp as a tack. Anyway, I sat and chatted with her for a few minutes and she told me when she saw me in the kitchen she had to ask who the beautiful woman was. Didn't recognize me at all. She is one of those strict, never had an ounce of fat in her whole life, but she was proud and happy for me. It felt good. This is the last party of the Christmas season and I am hoping to go on a hot date for New years instead of another eating fest, so I hope I am done with the carb laden mess we call the eating season!

Sar I am sorry you feel bad but thank you for sharing. I have online horsey friends I have known for 10 years, met in real life and felt so close to until recently. Whenever I post something genuine like that,well they seem to think weight loss has made me crazy and sad. No, crawling out from under the fat and no longer abusing food means I FEEL things so much now. Like a deaf person who can suddenly hear,sometimes it is too loud and too much...but I am much happier and better now it just doesn't always look that way. I feel like you all understand and don't leap to judge. I hope you all feel that from me too, I think you are all amazing ladies even with the ups and downs.

Well, look at my before and after photos in my profile. My "after" is actually 10# heavier than now and pre-plastics and I still look ALOT and I mean ALOT better than my "befores"

Yeah, I didn't hear back on my comment about visiting Seattle. I hope Globe is well... Frasier the III. His oldest son is Frasier IV....haha t is an unusual name. And yes, just one date at a time... I guess I am 90% happy and still 10% sad about my "relationship" situation so I get the occasional twinge you might say.

Dee, you look great! What a transformation!!! Okay, so I can't help but say it, when I see my before pic (in my profile) I "own it" and don't mind looking at it, it reminds me where i come from BUT, I was much less attractive and much more weirdly shaped then most other women's before pix that i see. Dee, I thought you looked very cute before, just bigger.

So my date went pretty well. Frasier made everything earlier that expected and so I had so little time to get dressed and fixed up that I had no time to think! Turns out, last minute he found out he had to be at work at 630 SAt AM but didn't want to cancel, so we had 5pm dinner and 630 movie. Saw Hobbitt in 3D which was amazing special effects. We had a really nice time, lots of laughing and talking. It was like a high school date, only with no making out. Well, more polite than any high schooler I ever dated. Offered to go get the car so I didn't have to walk. Offered me his coat when I got chilled in the theater. Opens doors, sort of obsessively really. Did get a good night kiss - not a great kisser out of the gate but the evening was good. I think the outfit was cuter than it looks in these pix... least I hope so. The hostess and waitress at resturant and ticket taker at movies went gaga over my shoes. I really like them too, a really pretty blue with black in sort of a pattern. I think Frasier liked the fishnet socks... haha Okay, do you sense a slight hesitation in me. He said something that i kinda brushed off at the time, but this morning is bothering me. He said "if we were together I would take care of you". This was in the context of talking about career - trying to understand each others work..haha. We live in different worlds so I am not sure I ever got him to understand even the basic idea of my job (Brown, you will relate - I am a project manager for IT projects - I currently work on the business side and herd the cats on that side of the projects and initiatives). Why did it bother me - it was a sweet and endearing thing to say - but made me wonder if his intentions are a bit more serious than I thought (ie maybe he really is looking for a permanent relationship). Well, at some point there will be a conversation, so not borrowing trouble from tomorrow... Tonight off to a family christmas party. I am on a freaking carb bender right now... eh gad. It started yesterday about noon at the company party. I decided to call today a complete write off and pick up again on Sunday....

Don't sweat the binge, it was a temporary event and going back on normal eating will kill the desire to keep overeating. I think it is good you told her the truth. Sounds like she can't currently control herself, but someday she hopefully can and she will know that you want to love her, but her behavior is blocking. So, told you my oldest son was my trouble. He really gave me a lot of grief, but there was never violence. I was more afraid he would self distruct. I told him once that i would send him to military school or do what ever I needed to do to save him, I would NOT let him turn into a criminal or addict. We had lots of rough times after that, but he once told me that he remembered that shouting match in a positive way - he knew I would never give up on him and I never did. He moved out and stayed with friends on his own accord when he was about 15-16 but we decided to keep an open door and he did sometimes stay with us. I had mixed feelings about that situation, but I felt like we needed to stay in touch, to save him. It paid off eventually but it was so stressful and sad. I love love love my kids and my youngest has never given me a moment's trouble, but knowing what I know now, not sure I would have chosen to be a mother if I had it to do over again. It was that hard. Hang in there Laura. hang in there.