CowgirlJane

Well, let me give a counter point. I was in a long term relationship with someone who treated me like I was invisible. I lost about 125# and brought up... "hey I have lost alot of weight, have you noticed?" he barely lifted an eyebrow. I would have welcomed him regaining interest in me sexually/attraction/romance ANYTHING. So, while I understand the confused and mixed emotions, consider the alternatives and how that MIGHT make you feel...

Oh, and besides that, he's HOT!

Frangos, fudge (and fudge like stuff) and cookies - the unholy trinity of Christmas. Just don't go there... I can't have them around. I don't even like cookies very much but they sit there screaming that they must be eaten.... damn them!

Wanda - I suspect them all of being serial killers...lol. And i have watched enough episodes of Dexter to know that serial killers NEVER look like serial killers so that clearly adds to the confusion. Actually, I think the bigger risk is of moochers, scammers and cheaters so I am watching for that too. I admitted to Steven that I wasn't too sure about him at first either but, I was pretty into the idea of finding a sexual relationship after the 5 year year dry spell so I sorta thought "may be a serial killer, but, well, what are you gonna do?" Then, once we did have sex, I was like "I don't care if he is a serial killer, I want more of THAT" haha. It did take me probably two months before I became really enamoured with him though so I am apparently odd.Other people get bored and the passion wanes with time... I tend to start slow and it goes from there. I love the art. Globe - that is a really good picture of yourself, what talent! You won't be homeless when you come back to the states, you know that. All or nothing thinking is my old way, and it isn't very useful.

That was weird... at the end of our last date Frasier wanted to see me again right away but I said no, but the weekend would be good. Emailed me that he was sorry,he likes me but doesn't feel that spark. I am not sure I felt that spark either so I am not crushed but I found it strange that he went from wanting to see me so often to that. I speculate that it was my lukewarm response to him teaching me to ski etc. Not sure but I felt awkward at that moment and I felt a little shift in the air. Anyway maybe it is old sge but I dont feel sparked by having dinner with someone. I will be honest, even with Steven I didn't get so into him until we had been together for months....but I am old and jaded so there you go. Oh well, I have about 5 more serious contenders that want to meet, into the next one. I dropped a Christmas arrangement off for Steven last night. He is still so sick I wanted to do something cheery even though I can't see him. He hates being mothered or fussed over so resists any attempt at caregiving which I respect. He was so moved by it,surprised me. I didn't zero in that he likes little gifts before...I have so much to learn about humans.... anyway he called and talked forever again. I wish I didn't feel love for him, but I do. Anyway he is a ski instructor so I told him my lesson plans and he told'me once I get a few lessons he will take me skiing. Scares me a little because just like the rest of his life his skiing is insane....racing and off course backcountry stuff. As an instructor he teaches advanced who want to learn SPEED. sigh...I think it would be years before I can even begin to ski in the same neighborhood he does....and I never want to race etc.

Jen, I started at 308; lifetime high of 332. Just be careful you are not setting yourself up for disappointment. You will be very successful but don't get wrapped up too much with a specific weight.....your body will tell you the right weight when you get there. When you start out bigger you just have more weight - bones, blood vessels etc are bigger. You may not even know your bone structure size...a good goal weight will become clearer with time.

I am so happy for you Coops - isn't it just wonderful to go to an event and feel confident in how you look? You deserve it! It hink you look great just the way you are! Dr S told me I wasn't a candidate for the anchor, that it wasn't worth the scarring, but truth of the matter that is how you get the tight waist. I don't have a muffin top, but I do have a wrinkle of extra skin beneath my boobs. It's okay though, I look fine. I never had a thin waist in my life, so what I have going on now completely rocks by my standards. Plastics are a head trip and they are a series of tradeoffs. I am pleased with the choices i made - basically followed Dr Sauceda's recommendations. I feel that he did a good job of setting my expectations so I am delighted with results EXCEPT my butt. I knew that my butt would not be great, but it is still a bit wrinkly. He does free revisions, but told me that he can't take more out with a lower body lift that the only think left is to do glute implants, a new procedure. I don't think so.... I think I am going to try personal training and see if I can build up butt muscles and get some shape there. Anyway, I think Dr S did the best he could with my underlying anatomy and honestly, I feel like a hot mama these days so I am not complaining, but my butt is not really sexy... it is flat and a bit droopy. I think I told you once before Coops, if I looked like Laura Croft I'd NEVER get anything useful done, so it is probably just as well. I was informed by an intimate source that my narrower waist however makes my butt look pretty sexy in certain positions especially wearing the thong panties which completely covered the incision line. enuf said about that. This intimate source however remains very very ill. He got super sick a month ago, sorta recovered, had to go back to work and I talked to him today, he sounds about dead. I can't help but worry - he doesn't let me mother him but that desire is inside me for sure. Well, i blew my fast day, but did stay very low carb. Work got really stressful and while I don't usually stress eat anymore, I couldn't concentrate so i ate more then planned. I am still in the 500 range, but, it is only 321 in the afternoon ... oh well. I am like the rest of you just hanging on through the holidays. I don't need to be perfect with 5:2, the basic idea still helps me. I consider myself in maintenance. I am staying under 150 - would be nice to drop a couple of more pounds just so my bounce range is a little safer (I want to be in the 145-148 bounce range) but basically consider myself really at goal this time. Laura, alot of guys put on their profiles "nothing serious" but I can't help myself but veer away from them because I am looking for something more... in the middle you might say. My dream would be someone cool, fun, active who has time and resources to actually DO stuff, wants a monogamous thing that will go on for awhile, but without expectations that it leads to engagement, or me becoming mom to their kids or whatever. I can pay my own way, but for example my turning 50 big trip - would love to have a partner in crime for that sort of thing. Someone who wants to go camping with me - he can bring his bike or fishing gear while I ride horses and have him to cuddle around the campfire. Someone to do weekenders with, but he doesn't have to meet my whole family either - no obligation to join the clan. Know what I mean, the good parts of a relationship without too many expectations.

Guys lie about their height big time, but he passes the high heel test so I think he is in the ballpark of 6'. He is a nice nice man and I enjoy his company. The thing that at times is a bit awkward is that because of different education/work etc my vocabulary and stuff is a little bigger.... I don't care but things like that can make a man feel bad. I try to make sure he knows I value the skills he has that I don't, which are many. Anyway, we need to have the big talk that I am not really looking for my next husband and need to be sure that he is good with that. It did bother me that he has remodeled women's homes... I don't use people like that. I am more of a giver, maybe that is the lesson I need to learn in life. Well, I guess in all fairness, my EX took on being stepdad to my kids - now THAT is giving! He thought he was rescuing me, and I guess I want to be sure there is none of "that" going on as I know where that leads... I would take Frasier up on the offer to teach me to ski I think, because that would be fun for him too (he goes and really skis while I recover in the lodge with a hot drink...haha) I don't know how to read Frasier but he seems so into me, wants to see me like every other day and yet ensures that there is no more than a goodnight kiss. It worries me when a guy isn't pursuing me for sex...haha... like it makes me suspicious about what they really want. In all seriousness, it makes me wonder if he doesn't see me as a serious relationship prospect because I am after all cool, dress a little sexy while being respectable, smart, have my own life/home, only a little crazy. (tongue in cheek, but i do stack up well against the competition my age I think). I sent Frasier a message today that I would like to see him this coming weekend and I would like to sort of talk about what we are each looking for since we haven't had that chat. Profiles don't tell you much really.

People are used to seeing us obese and have a sort of dismorphia going on. i have gotten same thing from my sister, but i know I am at a very healthy weight.

Hands shrink some. My feet shrunk too. i didn't get before pix, I don't really see a difference, but rings and shoes fit differently.

I am not an expert, but the setting is like your prescription. Now, as I lost weight the pressure was too much and I didn't want to do another study so I learned how to "adjust" my machine by researching online but you are not supposed to do that. I liked to call it the "no sleep study" ha. What I hated was they made me do it a second time because I couldn't sleep on my back, and surgery and waking up you are on your back so they insisted I have at least some time on my back...grrrr... I had to be drugged to get any sleep in that place laying flat on my back.

Well, I have shared some of this before, but my partner of 15 years pretty much lost interest in me about 6 -7 years ago. I thought it was the weight, but it didn't get better with weight loss. In fact, the indifference to my weight loss journey was pretty hurtful actually. Long painful story but i decided to end things since I could no longer live in a loveless relationship. We are still good friends, but we lived like roommates for a very long time and so I guess it was a pretty low drama breakup. Well, I did start seeing someone earlier this year and it has been a big confidence booster. It is not a simple story I guess but bottom line, he has helped me see my own beauty, both external, but also me as a person. We are not meant to be together forever, but he was totally the right person for me at the moment and made that aspect of my life fun again. Hard to describe, but i think being morbidly obese, one of the things I "lost" was feeling like a woman, not even a beautiful woman, but a woman at all and I have regained that. Now, as far as looks, he always told me I look like a million bucks and now that I had the skin removal - a billion. ha He was the one that told me over and over again that I am attractive and have a lot to offer to anyone so to never sell myself short. I think I am finally starting to believe it. even before plastics, I developed alot of confidence in my body and I think it helped alot with going through the changes that came after plastic surgery. It feels good to like your body - it feels good to walk in a room and feel good about how you look (I am talking clothes on here...haha)

Woo hoo... congrats. p.s. I know the feeling!

In my case, I didn't have any health issues related to the skin removal - so not a chance.

I think you should discuss your fears with your surgeon and discuss the possibility of taking aspirin or other meds - but make sure he knows! I did plastics in Mexico - big long surgery - so I understand your fears. In the end, I just decided to pick a surgeon with a good track record and follow his advice. I think that many of us fixate on a fear like this, and it sort of represents our overall fear and anxiety about this really really big leap of faith.

I love Ross too....their pants suck though. I wear a lot of dresses -all from Ross. Globe I find Erik northman to be very attractive indeed...sort of a primal magnetism. I have been thinking you should extend your stay in Afghanistan if it does not compromise your health. Oversized clothes,yes I have them too. My work slacks are all baggy butt and too loose waist since plastics. At least in those clothes, I need a 6 now. Oh,I did 30 minutes spinning bike yesterday that about wiped me out but I need to force movement. Wanda,how are you doing with the office cookie battle?

Today is fast day wish me luck! Denise here is the link again (did with Kindle!!!) http://www.bariatricpal.com/topic/291243-lower-body-lift-one-week-post-op/ Is dating discouraging because Coos Bay doesn't have your type or because you still pine for Allen? I had my third date with Frasier. I picked the restaurant, close to my home,a cheap but yummy fresh Mex place. Main attraction is they let me order the child plate. Frasier didn't bat an eye and although he teased me about my "expensive tastes" he loved the food. We talked along time including religion and politics which went very well. I found out why I kept thinking he is southern....raised strict Baptist. I am not of that ilk but he is open minded so I think okay. I told him about my home updating plans when he mentioned doing the work to remodel homes of TWO exgirlfriends. I didn't say anything but it made me uncomfortable. I have been examining my feelings about it and truth is I don't like beholden to people. He also offered to teach me to ski since I plan to start lessons. I of course don't want to look like a idiot in front of him (or anyone I know)so would rather start with paid lessons. This has given me food for self examination... am I afraid of taking advantage of someone? Am I afraid of leaping in to a relationship with someone who I then need? Maybe I worry that I have found another "acts of service" type (read 5 Love Languages) when what I need is verbal and physical affection??? I intended to have the big "what are your intentions" talk but time got away when we dove into politics etc. Anyway it was a good date and nice time just gave me things to think about. He wanted to see me again soon but I am going to wait to the weekend as this feels a little fast in some ways. Nice good hearted man though. I think Denise asked about seeing profiles? This is Frasier: http://www.pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=45013069 This is Mark, who I have only seen once and since he leaves weird vmails, not sure i want to see him again..haha. He is handsome and fun, but I don't know, pushy? http://www.pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=6164500 This is me: http://www.pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=56951315

I want a pair of killer jeans. You know suitable for dates or going.dancing. I wear a size 8 but have short legs. Any advice on brands or trends? My favorite jeans are a pair of Ann Klien very skinny jeans that fit like a glove but they are that summer pant length and are plain. Thinking of something a little embellished. IDEAS? Any others interested in discussing fashion, hair, makeup, trends??

Yes, I saw Catching Fire this weekend and loved it (I liked the books and think the movies so far are good!) but the title made me think about what I have been going through the last few days. Okay, I am 2 years out and most of us have some return to hunger by now - mine came back I would say around 7-8 months post op but I have made peace with it and manage it well. I don't suffer, I just eat in a way that controls it well. Anyway, Friday was a work Christmas potluck party which I was late to due to a meeting. By the time I got there, what was left was pretty much crackers and Desserts... oh boy, the carb train is leaving the station. Then, I went on a dinner date Friday night, did pretty good there, but, you know, there was a small slice of bread. Then, huge family Christmas party on Saturday where I ate carbs for about 9 continous hours. Sunday wasn't so bad, but, I was hungry and craving. I spent the day with my son and yes, more restaurant food but I made decent choices. I was going to fast today but Tues/Thurs are my normal fast days and I decided to stick to my overall plan so I ate a normal low carb Protein Breakfast. It is 930... I am not starving yet, but I am telling you that the excesses of the eating season remind me that this is what my life used to be 24/7. Hungry and craving. What you eat, the way you eat, it really makes a difference in how well your hunger and cravings are managed. My current challenge is exercise though. I think most of you know I was a very active exerciser - high intensity workouts 5-6 days a week plus an active lifestyle. Well, I had a bunch of plastic surgery procedures done at once in mid October and I am having a hard time getting back to exercise. There are various excuses, but the main ones is that I have alot of tingling nerves that are triggered by my heart rate going up and it feels weird. At some level, I worry I hurt myself but I am not. Anyway, surgeon is now scolding me that I MUST return to my normal exercise (slowly and progressively) and it is time to get moving. Damn. I may need to resort to getting a personal trainer or someone to yell at me in person...lol. I have never needed that before, but you know, when you deep inside are "protecting" yourself it is hard to get over that mindset. Even so, i maintaining in the 147-150 range so hanging on okay during the holidays....

So we have quite a well traveled group here....located throughout the world. I turn 50 next year and am looking for an epic trip idea...preferably one best served solo. I am thinking Lisbon and Barcelona....other ideas???? I am going back to Mexico to visit my friend in March...she is near Cabos San Lucas. Can't wait but that will be more of a mellow beach trip... I need something worthy of the BIG 5-0!!!!

Totally agree...and I love your wit. This weekend I told my vodka soaked nephew's wife that she had a very good vocabulary...vodkabulary! Love play on words.

Well I am hoping my fellow Dec 2011 sleevers are having ajoyeous holiday and still rocking those sleeves. Would love to hear some updates!!! I lost 160# in total now and maintaining at 147-150 range. I had plastic reconstructive surgery for excess skin and feel like a million bucks. My life has become so full and fun, cup runneth over... Yes there are life struggles but everything is easier when you feel good. This sleeve is the best thing I ever did for myself...well...maybe my college education was the best but this was right up there!!!

Thanks everyone. Between the plastic surgeons kicking me in the butt,knowing my sleeve 2 year follow up is this week combined with your support....I managed 30 minutes of spinning and some gentle easy light arm exercises. I needed a little nap,but I did it. One day at a time....

I HAVE gone mental,I agreed to see Frasier again. I am doing a lousy job of playing it cool. Damn I am supposed to be just shopping around right now. 3 dates in less than a week...Sheesh. one thing is for sure,he is pretty into me. Maybe him asking about my college GPA wasn't a bad sign...haha I think those incisions look like a regular not plastic surgeon. I was appalled and went back to look at pix from my first week....the infamous nekkid in Mexico shot and I did not have such ragged incisions. Chris had an anchor cut style tummy tuck that is why the cut goes up the middle and that is right for someone with a big tummy but the incisions..yikes. somebody is going to say something mean as people are clueless so I try to be carefully supportive of her. I just wanted to be sure globe took note of who NOT to go to. I feel actually angry for her, you pay the money and have hopes and dreams....deserves better. I hope the pix just make it look worse than it is.

This is a great story but i would also add that the "never obese" friends in my life have been incredibly supportive. They know how hard I worked and struggled prior to my surgery and were universally supportive of me. The heavier people, some of my female relatives in particular, worry that I am getting underweight. that can be taken as being unsupportive, but i know it was intended with love. At thanksgiving I had a good talk with one of my sisters and her daughter (both obese) and told them that I weight 150# and at 5'5" it is FAR from underweight. I explained about my follow up with surgeon, my outstanding blood work, no more scrip meds etc. They finally told me that I looked way thinner than that to them and it made them feel much better to know I really wasn't as light as they thought and that my docs are happy iwth my health. People get dismorphic the other way - they are so used to middle age women being overweight they kinda freak out when you are just normal weight (size 6-8/medium top). That is a great great story! It doesn't happen to me sometimes, when I look at a skinny person, and I go "well what if she also had surgery? What if she was bigger and lost a lot of weight?" But of course there are also these other skinny ones who have been skinny all their lives and judge others. But we don't know who's who, and what they've gone through, so i think that's a great lesson for us, to stop judging because we simply don't know what goes on behind the curtains.