CowgirlJane

I find that the hot chocolate protein drinks really satisfy a sweet tooth.

Curious what you decided. I lost over 150# and that combination of recommendations puzzles me based on the consults I had. I had the lower body lift as well. At first the idea terrified me but i can see now that I would not have had the best results with the tummy tuck alone. I went the Mexico - have a bunch done at once route - arms, breasts and the small thigh lift so no long scar. Rugged recovery, but now, wow, I am amazed at my own transformation. The only bad part is I still have side boobs, underarm extra skin but I just don't want to do an upper body lift which is the only solution to that problem so i will just live with it. It is easily disguised and really not THAT bad. Other than that, my skin problems are SOLVED...wooo hooo!!! For anyone, i would recommend MULTIPLE consults because you start to really understand the options better.

I might have gotten the best one ever yesterday. A friend who knew me as very obese saw me just over a year ago when I weighed about 20-25# more than I do now. also, body and face were still readjusting... Anyway, saw her yesterday and she said "you look like you are about 25". I am actually 49 so even if she was exageratting a tad, it still felt GREAT!

I would like to add that women can be emotionally abusive to their husbands too. One of my friends is kind of... abrasive is the word I would use. I feel like she is a little asberger syndrome type. Anyway, her hubs is far from perfect, but he has invested so much time and money in HER horse hobby, HER farm and i feel she really doesn't treat him as well as she should. Just the tone of her voice when they talk on the phone, how critical she often is when he helps around the place but doesn't do things "right". Last summer, I finally said something to her about it (gently) as she was talking in the context that she doesn't like having sex with him but she wasn't worried because he doesn't have the social skills to attract a different woman. I told her to not misjudge men - their emotional life is important to them too, it just looks different. We actually had a long talk about it, i never told her I thought she was mean to him, but she kinda knew she was. Anyway, I noticed a difference after that, just a gentler, less critical tone. Except for a lunch in December I haven't seen her since my surgery (we do horse stuff together only) so I don't know current status. I hope she is taking it seriously because they have been married 10 years and if they divorce - everything will fall apart. They are in their 40s and that is a time of life when I think many people consider if their needs are being met... She needs his income (she works too) to sustain their farmette and horse hobby and frankly she needs his help too. anyway, my point is that emotional abuse comes in alot of forms and people who love each other seem to do it to each other.

I need to get updated pics. My measurements are 40-30-38 so I am relatively skinny assed but my tummy really did shrink with weight loss. I did have plastics, but my waist measurement didn't change much. My hip measure shrunk because the extra skin from my hanging tummy is now gone. I was more voluptous looking on the hips (with clothes) before plastics because my extra tummy skin could be cleverly spread out under shapewear to make some hips..haha. So, I am slightly top heavy looking now I guess but really pleased with the transformation from barrel to to something closer to an hourglass. I intentionally choose quite small implants as i did not want to be huge looking on top.

I have been meeting about one new person a week lately - and part of it is because when you find a possiblity - I feel like you need to go for it because this stupid online thing... people forget about you in 2 days since they have 10 new emails. sigh. I hate emailing someone for weeks and then it just fades away... waste of time. Now that I am back to horseback riding - the pace will slow way down...haha Doug, the lunch the other day wasn't a date. We aren't a prospect, that was made clear many months ago that was more like a possible friendship. We have stayed in touch via text, occasional email and phone call since we met last summer. He knows about my plastics and all that. I admit I really like this guy so even though he doesn't want to date me I am open to light socializing because you just never know. I think somewhere in my brain is a formula - personality, location, looks, character, interests/hobbies/lifestyle, my impression of their stability - etc. and this guy just seems like he is this just right blend. I don't know but I assume he senses i am not the right blend for him but likes me. Or maybe he just doesn't really want a girlfriend right now, I am not sure but I am not going to bug him about it. What the heck, I can always use new single friends since most of my friends are married. My oldest son has a great theory of meeting people. Find someone you like and maybe that person isn't "it" but there may be someone in his social circle. My son's point is to hang out with people that you like and that is how you often meet other cool people. That has totally happened to me with women friends and horseback riding friends. My very close friend Mary I met through common aquaintances.

I bought the pant liner from her room. I love it..very firm support. I have different purpose though which is making me feel held together especially during exercise,skiing,riding etc. and prevent swelling (post plastics issues). The extra benefit is that they make my thighs trimmer. The problem with the pant liner is they are not high waist so would have given me a muffin top pre plastics. What bra models are good?

Florinda I am sorry. The grief is enough to deal with...don't need this additional drama. Does this mean that you are leaving regardless of the investigation outcome into how the family was notified?Keep us posted...I will be thinking of you. Last night I did my first horse back ride since plastics. I did a lesson on my new horse. It was fun, but I am sore. The instructor knew me in my obese days and saw me in about Nov 2012 when I weighed 25# more than I do now. Anyway she almost didn't recognize me and cracked me up when she said "you look about 25" Now isn't that the compliment of the day!!!!

I am so with you!!! Since we are getting into details..Haha.. I had a great sex life with my ex... he taught me alot. Like how to get into a headspace that is actually better than orgasm. It broke my heart when he lost interest in sex and I had to shut all that down for years. I thought it was due to my hugeness but it wasn't. About the third time I was with Steven he said to me..."you were just GONE" and he was right. Some of it was his physical attributes...tall dark and handsome is my kryptonite. Over time the newness wore off and it was harder to get to that mental state. He had done alot of role play with his 2nd wife so pulled out some of those tricks...and it got me again. This is one reason it is so hard to walk away cold turkey....someone that knows how to please and that gets into the fact I am so enjoying it. Sigh. I need the right kind of lover to find that spot. Well, I know of two (my ex and Steven) so I hope I find it again. It would be easier if I didn't care about sex but flipside....it is really pleasurable!

globe - good webpage but some items are cheaper on http://www.herroom.com/shapewear.aspx cinchers are pretty cheap on: http://prettygirlcurves.bigcartel.com/category/waist-cinchers

okay, here is a laugh for all of us working so hard to remain trim..... somebody I met on a dating website last summer (before I put it all on ice so to speak) invited me for lunch. He was one of the disappointments in the sense that we really hit it off and I liked him alot and he just decided that he didn't want to date due to being too busy (well who knows the real reason). I thought, what the heck and accepted the lunch invite. He noticed the difference in my shape and size (lost 10# and had plastics) and definately noticed and commented on the owner of the restaurant flirting with me. Anyway, he told me I look great, that I look so small... and then kinda mentioned that I didn't look as soft. See, some guys like a girl with a little curve to the thigh and butt and perhaps even tummy! HaHa I don't know kissing good night on a first date doesn't seem that insane to me, but what do I know about the world. I work for an international company and there are colleagues/friends from Europe that routinely kiss as greetings so maybe i am desensitized to it? I will definately think about it though - it is easy to get lulled when you feel you really hit it off with someone. I had a great phone conversation with someone last night and we are scheduled to meet but... if that doesn't pan out, I am done for awhile. I think my lunch date reminded me of why this is frustrating - find someone that I like, lives nearby, and just feels compatible (no emotional attachment yet obviously as we only went on maybe 3 dates total) - and for some unknown reason he seems to like me but doesn't want to date me. I don't really care about him in particular so much it is just the process is frustrating and I tire of it easily. I don't really like "dating" I have always had a very hetro, healthy sex drive but spent most of my life in one of two relationships so never really had to face alot of these situations before. oh well

I have another thought.... as I re-read the original post. Are you sure that your sadness is because you are alone? Are you truly alone or just lack a life partner - there are alot of other ways to have important people/friends/neighbors etc in your life. Many single people live very social lives. I have a theory as it applies to myself. During the weight loss phase and even when I got to goal, I just felt so good physically that even though there was alot of emotional adjustment going on, it was okay. I feel like now I have been at goal almost a year, just over two years out from surgery... I am accustomed to feeling good. I feel like i look good. It's like that part is behind me know and I am faced with the "ok, now what do I do" sort of feeling. My emotions on this are complex and i am not sure i fully understand them but i think there is some delayed grief for all the years spent being obese. I turn 50 in 2014 and the thought of that... well... it's hard. I feel like I should be so much younger! I am lucky that my face is still relatively young looking, but i sort of have this vague nightmare of waking up and just looking really old. It is that sense of how little time... Yesterday I replaced my badge at work - that photo was taken in 2002. I looked at them side by side and i could honestly say I look younger and better than I did. It gave me a little boost to see that. Anyway, I am suggesting that you consider the deeper reason that you feel miserable. I think dating sucks for lots of us - even if your looks are such that it is easy to attract men, doesn't mean it is necesarily fun.

stacey, I find myself in a similar state of mind. You are not alone. What I will say is that right at this moment, men seem to generally think I look pretty good - lots of positives on my looks. Clearly, I don't have a good formula figured out and I think dating just doesn't really work very well. Especially online dating - I think people are too easily lulled into looking for the next hot prospect. I am going to try speed dating - partly just because I want to give it a go. but I am really leaning toward the dropping the whole online dating thing and just focus on my interest. I am an equestrian/horse rider I pretty much only meet other women doing my hobby but I am going to try doing some other stuff with meetups etc and see what happens. I am trying to learn to ski for the same reason - round here just about everybody skis. I am going to try to learn some other new hobbies too - alot of things I missed out on when I was obese. It is fun and I figure I am more likely to meet "active" guys that way. Come summer - Sailing classes, rent a kayak, I don't know... that sort of thing. I work out at home but recently decided to join a local gym... just never know. And at least I get to check out the hotbods while I am there. One little thing I have done is about 2-3 times a month I go to a happy hour with my best friend. We sit at the bar, go to the same place. We are starting to get to know people since we are now "regulars". It occurs to me that living a life that is "out there" like that might cause me to finally meet someone. I don't know, but that is what I am thinking right now.

I had another thought.... my EX has been living here still. He is gone alot, but is still around. He moves this month... I wasn't cognizant of being freaked out about it, but i decided today that I am. I finally finally finally understand why things ended, which maybe gives me a little peace, but I am still freaked by the change.

I think it is interesting/strange that several of us are feeling that "imbalance" right now. Short winter days? I don't know, but I am struggling. Logging out my pattern is helping me see what is paralyzing me - inability to focus on work. I don't think work is the root cause, but it is where the problem collides with reality I guess. So, I am trying to focus on solving JUST elements of that for now. I woke up in a panic this morning - that never happens - but it did today. I woke up because of some stuff I forgot to finish... my brain is just mush. In general, I am sleep deprived because i wake up in the middle of the night for hours.

HAWWTTT... awesome! How is insanity going? So, the scale says 147.5 today... woo hoo.... solidly in the middle of my bounce range of 145-150. 5:2 is good even though I admit my fasting days have been even less perfect that before, it still works. I also thinking resuming working out is finally kicking in.

I agree. I didn't mean to sound cruel - I suspect he is the most genuine man I have met in a while. I am just feeling the whole jaded thing. We had a lovely time and I turn on the charm no matter...My good friend Priscilla once said they don't "deserve" sex but perhaps the pleasure of the company of a gentle woman and nice smile...yeah, I ALWAYS deliver that as I feel it is good manners. A man takes time and effort and money to take you out...he is the center of my world for that moment.

Ok want to hear a funny? I was going to do a speed dating thing last weekend...I registered on the website but didn't sign up and of course didn't go. Today I received an email with my mutual matches..Haha. I wrote them back and said...cool...but I wasn't even there...hmmmm. Now I have a vmail from someone I don't recognize who I apparently have a date with Thursday night. NOW THAT IS A DATING METHOD THAT WORKS....HAHA. Should I just show up???? (That was a joke) Spent some time with an old friend who is unhappily married and going through tough times with her son's learning disabilities etc. Her hubby never wants to do anything and she has given up all her friends....so on Saturday nights, after the kid and hubby are settled in she goes to the 10pm movie showing alone. That's lonely. So I told her I can do a 10pm movie. I hope she calls me. Met someone new after work. Good news is he didn't try to invade my space and is super intelligent....but he is a metrosexual which I think means shaves body hair. He told me I make him nervous which is a good thing.... I just dunno. Has the whole world gone mad? LOL

I am curious why Tiffy and LilMissDiva moved over to Facebook...

And besides, getting to goal was just a step - granted a HUGE milestone - in the journey. I feel like maintenance is basically a continuation.... and i value the support I get here.

well, I can't help much since I had to do hand to hand combat with each of the last 10 pounds to get to my initial goal of 158. I am now hanging out around 148, which I got via 5:2. I don't think I will ever have to worry about losing too much! I am 5'5" and have a pretty substantial frame so I feel great at this weight. My next goal is to change some of that to muscle... lose fat and gain muscle still staying under 150#

My surgery was Dec 2011 and Tiffikins in particular was someone who really helped me get prepared to take this on! I think she moved on once she started having babies ... i like to think she is living a nice normal life. To some extent, I tried to pick up the band to sleeve revision torch she carried. She really shed light on the whole topic for me... that it was worth trying AGAIN after my epic fail with the band.

My boss knew because she is a friend. With Hippa and all that, they don't need to know why you had surgery.... I scheduled mine to be least disruptive to work, it worked out fine. I had guilt over being gone so long, but it wasn't really a problem.

My doc wants me to go on some horrible daily drug and they cause all sorts of side effects. I don't need xanax daily... just a small dose, maybe right now a few times a week but I think once under control, just occasional. They hate you using it because of the addiction risk. Trust me, I have asked - she relented and gave me a tiny amount for the surgery. I will admit my friend P that went with me to Mexico had a more generous prescription and I did take it a few times when things were going to happen that stressed me - drain removal etc. Anyway, it is very frustrating. I am going to see another person next week that is a nurse who also does therapy so she can prescribe drugs. I will try to have an open mind but I am fairly adament I don't want to start on a daily anti depressant/anti anxiety. I don't want the side effects and the weight gain. There are alot of things that I have complex emotions about but the heart stopping anxiety is because I can't concentrate at work and I just get further and further behind. It's awful.

I wish my doctor would prescribe Xanax. All I need is a tiny dose to keep me from amping up when it hits... I have just a few left over from when the doc prescribed them for my surgery anxiety. Now she wants me to go on a daily med which I don't want to do. I have been sleeping very poorly and i know that is part of my mood stabilization issue. So, I think that bouncing 145-147 is normal - my body retains water at times when I don't expect it.... I don't think we can get too worried about a few weighs - it is the trends to watch. I am slowly but steadily trending back to 148 my new goal.... 149 this morning...