CowgirlJane

I tooksix weeks although many do less.

I tooksix weeks although many do less.

My surgery was 9 hours - two surgeons. It is a controversial subject with many opinions. I think really researching and understanding the trade offs is the way too go. I am glad I did alot at once - it is behind me now..whew. But, recovery took a long time. I am 3 months post op now and feeling and looking pretty good though!

I don't know what you mean by complete body lift. To the best of my knowledge, there is a lower body lift (tummy tuck plus goes all the way around to help lift butt and get rid of backside skin overhang) and upper body lift (gets rid of side boobs and extra back hanging skin). I had the lower body lift alone with breasts, arms and small thighs in Mexico with Dr Sauceda in Mexico. Amazing results, recovery was ALOT though as I had a lot done at once.

My view is that Curves is like walking, Water aerobics etc - OUTSTANDING resource for many people and absolutely a good idea. I don't do any of that anymore because i have reached a level of fitness that can only be improved by continuously increasing the challenge. However, I think that my start with water aerobics and walking were critical stepping stones to my current situation. For plenty of people, they don't have the interest to take it further, and that is OKAY TOO!

You don't get back fat / skin with that? My EX is my ex sig other - and yes he is STILL in my house and I am losing faith that this will end anytime soon...sigh. He has some serious emotional/mental issues that I never really understood until recently. IT is so sad.

I think it is kind of silly that a support forum like this even has THOSE boards. I mean, what what's next - a place to discuss gun control, reproductive rights? Important subjects, but very controversial and really has nothing to do with the reason we are here. Nonetheless, it was dumb that Laura got smacked down for kidding around with Butter in a place that was appropriate for it. I am sure she is fine and that the real issues are just needing to focus on house, home, family and real life....

Okay, went to the ARNP phscologist that can write prescriptions. We have a six week plan out of insanity..haha. It made me feel better to talk to her because I think she accurately pinpointed that all other issues aside, the fact that I am ending a co-dependant relationship is a huge stressor and could account for all of it. Well, I never thought about co-dependancy since he isn't a drinker or druggie - but - when she said it I recognized it. We have a very unhealthy "need" for each other that has nothing to do with typical man-woman couple need for each other. Small example - I awoke in a panic from a nightmare that I blew a fuse in the house and didn't know what to do to fix it... Anyway, his car broke down so he has been borrowing my truck. Can you see why I am stressed - he is supposed to move out in January but I am not sure he has a clear plan on HOW that is supposed to happen. And I haven't been able to use my truck to haul my second horse out to the barn for conditioning rides... not the end of the world, but it has impacted my plans. I guess I don't care about that very much, but it is more the point that he has absolutely nothing except for what I have bought. It is really sad and he deserves better I just don't know how to fix him and need to give up. Since the car breakdown on Saturday he has been even more out of his mind than usual so I have felt uncomfortable adding to his stress by confronting him over all the stuff he didn't do that he promised. I think I need to let THAT go and just focus on getting him out of the house. I care deeply for him and he is a good person, but I simply cannot keep my own head above water with someone who is floundering so terribly in life and cannot seem to get help for it. It is so sad to me... and for him I know. anyway, when she told me that ... in essence that I am in an epic battle to break free of a very unhealthy co-dependant situation it put it in a light that I can understand. I feel very ashamed that I totally lost my cool with Steven and he is really pissed at me - I accused him of nutty things and it was really just insanity on my part. Craziest part - I didn't even realize I was saying horrible things. It was totally undeserved and just happened due to my exhaustion and lets face it, wrong ways of thinking. He at least finally sent me a text that was ... friendly... although he has yet to say if he forgives me for it (oh, and I have apologized and taken full responsibility for it). I don't care if we never play again at this point, I just hate that I did that to someone I care about. I don't want to end on this note and this is NOT how I treat people. That was the incident that made me realize that I needed to do something serious to get my mind under control. Anyway, hoping that the six week plan works...

Would love to see your corset photo. I think I want one.

I was on that thread. Dumb, why have an atheist forum if you are then attacked for perhaps making light of some religious beliefs. Anyway, can't wait to hear from Laura but she should take time as needed! Appointment went well...have a six week plan back to sanity. Hope it works but I am better this week than last...journaling really helped me pinpoint the anxiety wind up before it becomes consuming.

That is alot of stress. I am so sorry. for me, the daily fluctuations in the scale hold no emotional power over me. In fact, my emotional wreckage seems to have little to do with ACTUAL events. I think I am out of wack and exercise and horses DOES help. I just want to be normal, and I no longer know what that means even. Seeing the person today - I still don't want to be put on an anti-whatever but we shall see.

Can I ask a serious mental health question.... have you noticed that a very high percentage of us 5:2 ers are either on anti depressant type meds or else are struggling with mood issues - or BOTH? I know we haven't done a rolecall, but when I first started talking about this I thought it was just me, but many of you have shared struggles or medications currently taken. Do you think this is a coincidence? Do you think it has something to do with formerly obese people finding a way to handle these kind of issues now that we no longer abuse food? Being in maintenance, it is now more of a "chronic" thing? Do you think the intermittant fasting contributes in any way? Maybe because most of us are "middle age" and in the hormone hell times? I don't notice that fasting contributes but I notice that when I feel like emotional hell, i don't have successful fasts - it's like the concentration that it takes - I just can't muster. I also want to ask those of you doing intense workouts - M2G I think you are working with a personal trainer? - how are you fitting 5:2 into that? i want to get maximum results, and i noticed that I have been starving hungry for 2 days after my initial training sessions. It really triggered hunger and I don't know why! He kept upping the intensity because I made the stuff look too easy - that was Saturday morning and I am still a bit sore so I definately worked hard. My goal with the personal trainer is to reduce body fat %, get stronger, regain the muscle definition and build some booty if possible. I could do it again via Julian michaels DVDs BUT I think this will be a faster route and a more organized approach.

Well, he sounds a bit similiar to my EX husband - pothead, unmotivated, job bouncer, irresponsible. I don't regret divorcing him when my kids were small, but if i had it to do over again, I would have tried ALOT harder to get him to get off the drugs and turn his life around. I would have laid down the law, insisted on treatment/counseling, put him on probation basically. Becoming a single parent was a nightmare, hard work. Good news is that neigther of my sons have turned out like their dad...but, that was a rough road I took. Divorce is often thrown out as the solution and lots of ladies will talk about how much better they did after their divorce - that was true of me too, BUT a family pays a big price for it so I think people need to fight really hard to try everything before they consider divorce.

So has anyone seen a difference using the amino acid?

I wonder if the calipers are accurate on the formerly obese for calculating body fat percent....especially those of us that were really big. I was assessed by a trainer at the gym. I am @29 percent and he says I can shave 2 percent off a month. I am dubious of both claims because he also found me quite strong believe it or not. Planks, lunges, squats... told me I completely kicked it....even compared to younger clients. We shall see. Big storm blew through....trees down, power out etc.

Based on consults i did - that is a good price. I think it is really important to feel confident in the surgeons resulst though - no matter what the price it won't be worth it if the results are disappointing.

Well, it is such an interesting thing... when I feel down I tend to reach out and want to talk to everybody about it. Makes me feel better maybe. I have a friend who disappears whenever things go south in life, such an oppposite... it was hard for me to relate to that and still is at times. Anyway Sarah, we all go through funks.... and sometimes it hardly seems for good reason does it but it is how we humans are. I KNOW that I went through funks when I was obese, probably much much worse actually but i was so emotionally shut down, I don't remember them hurting so bad, do you? Anyway, I have had a great day, yesterday was a good day... and compared to feeling like a crazy person that I was earlier this week - I am feeling consideably better. I am still not sleeping, but, well, one victory at a time... I will just continue to plod along and hopefully get this stabilized.

I have said it before, I am okay with someone that is known and trusted (I am neutral on Queen - she seems fine to me but i don't really know her - I would support inviting her to join) but i would prefer that people who haven't participated in ages be removed. I do not include Laura or Cheri in that since they participated until quite recently - a few weeks off is no biggie, right - i am talking about people who really never engage in our discussion and support.

Most important thing I learned in my one year follow up is that years 2 & 3 are just as important as the first year.... the shift to maintenance and lifelong changes is what is in front of me. Having that message pounded into my head was very helpful and formed alot of my attitudes about year two. It drove my fundamental approach to year two. I am just now starting year 3 - maintaining successfully so far and in fact weigh less than i did at my 1 year surgiversary. I have regained weight so many damn times in my life - that has been my biggest fear about wls

I think the real advantage of having longer term vets hang around is that stats show that the weight regain happens over time. If we can support each other to keep that "in check" I think it is of great help. I think being able to read about it is also great help to newbies. I am entering my 3rd year and am very "attentive" that this is a high risk time for regain and honestly if it werent for others sharing this, I would not have really understood that.

Cathy, I always appreciate what you contribute. And yea, there are many posts I think to reply to but kinda miss it as it moves fast... but I read each and every one! I woke up heavy on the scale today - didn't do my usual thursday fast as i am much more focused on my "mood" issues. Oh well. I am making progress on the anxiety.... of course only time will tell but at least I am not worse. I was worried for awhile there that I was losing my every loving mind.... I now have data and understanding of the triggers much better then I did before so when I have my appointment on monday I think I can at least provide better symptom description.

I am like that too; I don't like to admit it but it is true. Let me give you an example. My ex and I broke up last spring... well... we had been in the process of breaking up for quite awhile but the final "I am done" came from me in the spring. We want to remain friends, he can't support himself so the whole idea was I would give him...yet again more money so he could keep his debt collectors at bay, and continue to live in my house. In exchange, he was going to do some specific projects around the place AND take care of the horses during my surgical rehab. I thought a more than fair deal for both of us. He did take care of the horses, but NONE of the projects are done, and most are about 20-50% complete leaving me with a freaking mess. I finally today confronted him over it and he just said "it takes longer then I thought". My response was "it was like 9 months ago we agreed on all this". I am frustrated but I largely have myself to blame because he always did this (like I expected it to be different?) and because I should have been bitchier about it like 5-6 months ago but that just isn't how I am. Frustrating. But mostly I am frustrated at myself for once again believing... and for not standing up for myself.

I was terror stricken pre-op and i think that is pretty common. I am over 2 years out and maintaining a weight loss of 160# and I can tell you it has been sooo worth it.

I think we need to have a thick skin on this one to be honest. I have been heard it for awhile that I need to stop losing weight (basically when I got under about 180). Well, over Christmas I talked to my sister and niece and told them how much I weight 145-150 - which is not skinny for someone who is 5'5". they told me i look way thinner than that so it made them feel better knowing that I am a healthy weight. I think they get a type of dismorphia - they have always seen me as obese (or at least very overwieight) so they were genuinely worried about me. their concern was genuine and loving, not mean. I also think that honestly, overall women are just getting bigger and bigger (sadly) so the new normal is pretty heavy. I also agree that too skinny just does look old - especially for some of us. I think using photos, getting feedback from people here on this website is a good way to get objective feedback. What worked for me was losing to a goal and then letting it stabilize before losing the last 10. I think it takes awhile for your face to sorta fill back out as mine was a little old looking there for awhile...haha. Yesterday someone told me I look like I am 25 (big lie, but I'll take it!) so i am feeling pretty good about my current weight.

I have just fired up the online dating thing again myself and admit... that although i am successful at getting interest from men, I am not finding it to be a satisfying experience so far. More on that another time, but I did want to share that i seem to have a knack for getting guys to pour their guts out to me...lol. I don't ASK, but have been told some crazy things about their dating and their impressions of women they meet. One of the first universals that i have heard over and over is being annoyed/pissed/turned off by women who post photos that are out of date or are misleading in terms of either weight or "face pretty". What I have heard is that they might have even been okay with the extra pounds, but they didn't like being lied to which is how it can be interpeted. I relate to that because i have had several "meetings" where the guy looks 20 years older than his photo...sigh... and I guess I feel the same way - kind of lied to. One guy I met told me there is a name for the shots that are boobs and above - hiding weight around the middle and lower body but I can't recall what he said. Anyway, my point is that you might consider getting a flattering full body pic even if you are heavier than you want to be. Not all guys insist on a skinny girl, many like a little roundness - just be honest about it. Why waste time meeting someone that is going to be turned off by your true appearance. The other shocker has been letting some of these guys run their mouths about just how many women they have met and had sex with. My word - one fellow was married most of his life, got divorced at about 50 and then his record count of partners in around 18 months might have shocked a streetwalker. I don't think he even realized how much he was revealing to me. I get it that people do a little exploring, but crud! I suspect, and i know this sounds horrible, but i suspect that SOME of them will go out with just about anyone for a few dates if they think sex is in the lineup soon. No problem until the diseases and stuff show up, right? I think that alot of men are as frustrated as the women are and I am still puzzling that out, but bottom line - I am disillusioned with online dating. I met someone that I really care about online - but it was more of a casual fling thing - but after 8+ months of that I am ready for more, someone who has more time and wants a true relationship. We care for each other - but it isn't meant to be. What I have to remind myself about him is that since neither of us were looking for a serious relationship that I focused on different things like looks...haha... and didn't concern myself with some of the criteria i have in mind now. Well, it kind of turned out that he has ALOT of other great characteristics (and plenty of bad) that I did not detect until I had known him for many months. I think the online dating thing makes it so easy to be too picky, too selective on the WRONG things. My final remark is there are a lot of liars. I know this more indirectly... a platonic friend I met through POF (I have done better making new platonic friends than finding a real boyfriend, funny isn't it?) told me that one of his friends is on POF and most of his profile is a big lie. His goal is just to get laid and his profile is intentionally misleading. I think I also met one of those guys who claimed to be looking for a serious relationship but his behavior contridacted that. So that is my rant of the day. I keep saying I will try speed dating, and I do think that is in the cards for 2014... There are lots of suggestions to join meetup groups to find people. I have mixed feelings about that too as I went to a cocktail party hosted by a meetup group. I felt so uncomfortable and on display like a meat market....yikes, I hated it. I basically found a couple of fellow single women to talk to ... I am also a member of some hiking and other activity meet up groups and did a few things but nothing came of it yet. I will try to do more of that this year, but i have a slightly different tack in mind. I am going to take a few lessons to learn some social activities that I never learned as an obese person. I am trying a little skiing this winter. I think when the weather gets better, i am going to learn how to kayak, maybe even a little sailing or golf class. I don't know, just getting out there finding new activities. My main hobby is horseback riding and that is NOT a good way to meet men...lol. I figure that taking a few lessons on some healthy fun hobbies might at least make me new friends and that's not all bad, is it?