CowgirlJane

I have decided to put the trainer on hold...at least till my swelling is down. I emailed surgeon Dr Sauceda and he was a bit concerned about it. I think it is just too much. Thinking to do the group classes awhile as those work me without leaving me useless for a day or too due to fatigue. I think I should get advice from an orthopedics doc too...Irenes story is something to learn from. I LOOK fit, am aerobically fit, so it is easy to forget I have a damaged body... Denise, I have no idea what to say to Bill but I know that when someone insisted I be exclusive (ie not date or meet anyone else) after knowing him 90 minutes it was a red flag and I never saw him again. Your situation is different but be aware that he might feel a little pressured. And yes it is the 3day seminar based on that book/system. Life changing stuff to examine questions like"what's at your center/core" A older man ihave worked with for nearly 20years came in during break to say high to his team members in the class. He got to my table and stared at me a long time and said "I just have to keep checking that is really you." Of course he is talking about my looks, but I heard it as about the me that is really ME. That is how I sometimes feel. The old me would have never let my EX do this. The new me has no idea how to save him without drowning with him. So what really is at my center and is it still changing?

I don't feel food addicted but HUNGRY. I have blamed it on uber hard workouts, and in fact have alot of swelling going on, think I may be over doing it... of course my stress level is sky high over my EX deciding to live in a car. I have so many emotions over it... In Coveys 7 habits class this week which is perfect....good class to take when self examining life.

Only 5.5 pounds of skin which amazes me considering i am 180 some pounds lighter than my "lifetime" high weight. Dr Sauceda info is on page 5 of this thread I think. IF not, you can google him and look for his patient page on obesity help (link is on page 5 of this thread). At 3 months out I am finally feeling pretty normal again and it is hard for me to even imagine going back to life with embarrasing arms and a tummy that sat on my lap and inner thighs that were just horrible looking to me I am not perfect, but I have a body that I feel very comfortable and happy with and honestly.. even proud of. The only real problem area remaining is the extra skin on my torso under my arms - the infamous side boobs. They aren't THAT bad and is easily disguised by clothing. That can be fixed with an upper body lift, but for me, that is just a step too much and my surgeon did NOT recommend it for me. Dr Sauceda would say our goal is significant improvement but when you seek perfection you will never be happy...

Tonight I will look at my quotes but dr Harris was the most affordable of the surgeons I saw. He may not have more than3 of men with similar situation. He wasnt able to use photos from his previous location whereas some others have like a 25 year history so have volumes of photos. The lack of pix was the main reason I wasn't comfortable but that was a year ago and I trust that medical practice overall so I think he is a good choice.

Sounds good. Did you see any photos of similar patients? I am dubious about full strength at 6 weeks. I am at 12 weeks and now doing intense workouts - I was cleared to resume exercise beyond walking at 6 weeks, but was not full strength. I get a little swelling even now on days I exercise really hard.

Sarah that is amazing. Would love to see photos!

The veterans forum thread about losing too much, a serious problem for a few. I just really wondered when the root cause was a high bmr that existed pre op. I ate about 2500-3500 cals pre op.

Please forgive me for being so bitchy but why would anyone with a BMR of 3,000 calories a day need weight loss surgery? If LV were reading I think she might wonder the same thing.

I think time helped my face alot. I have been at goal almost a year and I get alot more comments on how young I look now. I do have some neck wattle but I am lucky it isnt too bad.

Florinda sounds like HE is the confused one. I too would feel bowled over but you know he wasn't the one that brought you hope and all those things you said about him... being with him just helped you find that within. Hang onto THAT and let him just fade away. I took a gun safety and basic shooting class with my friend Mary today. Super fun, learned alot, and we are both good shooting students. Seattle Seahawks are going to the Super bowl!!! The sad freaked out I am sick over it news...My EX plans to live in his car. He made me promise not to tell people we know so I have to carry this burdensome knowledge. I am horrified and mad because he has options. He has reasons for his insanity but does it even matter? Counselor says I am in classic co dependant relationship but without the traditional alcohol addiction. Maybe that is why I feel guilty beyond reason.

Doesn't every woman want to lose another 10-15#? Alot of times we really are talking vanity pounds.... Why do people regain? Maintenance is work, takes focus and sometimes lacks the excitement of losing. So far I have treated maintaining much like losing phase and when I don't -the. pounds creep back.

I also like quest....and don't buy them for that reason....

When I was losing weight, I worked hard and was continually amazed that I could do it. I mean, after so many failures - including with the lapband, it was almost too good to be true. I have been at goal and maintaining since Feb 2013 - almost a year. I haven't lost my focus or even my sense of wonder about it. My body continues to change and become more and more normal. I feel the remnants of the 300#+ slowly fading away and being replaced by a normal/average looking body. I have been told that I don't look at all like someone who was ever the least bit overweight (who knows what that means exactly but the speaker was referring to my thin calves - no cankles...LOL) What I do sometimes notice is a certain "worry"... like what if I regain? Will I handle it as well as so many others that post here regularly have (ie keep working the sleeve and relose that gain) or will I repeat my old demon pattern of just throwing in the towel and giving up (like I did with the lapband)... and I have no doubt the regain this time would probably put me at 400#. It is a scary thought actually. Anyway, I don't spend alot of time thinking about the negatives, but maintenance is a different kind of headspace. It is really learning, and adjusting and finding that new life at goal weight. How to keep it without being consumed by the Quest for a certain body size (weight or whatever). I think my primarily goal for 2014 is to maintain, one more year. I like to think in smaller chunks - I can visualize maintaining throughout 2014 so that is what I focus on. I would also like to increase my muscle/reduce body fat percentage. I don't even know what it is, so I would like to get measured and assess my progress in that way. Not really a new years resolution as those always seem to fall by the wayside. Mine is more a mindset - I don't have a choice, I have to maintain for one more year.

I just started working with a personal trainer...today he wanted me to run stairs. I said wait a minute sonny...I have NO cartilage left, that isn't a good idea. We are doing massive lunges squats etc and I wonder if I should talk to amedical professional about how to preserve those joints. In hindsight,would you consult with an orthopedics surgeon before injury????

I am a little envious of this problem but not really......like I fight so hard to lose a pound it is easy to wish the weight would just fall off...Haha but a friend of mine has the same problem as you. He is very athletic but if he gets sick or stressed he gets SKINNY and it is no joke - a serious problem. He is 6foot2" and big framed and struggles to stay over 180. What I am dying to know is how this happens to a formerly obese person. I have the obese metabolism (though others need to eat even less than me) and clearly you don't. Next time you see the endocrinologist can you ask how this happens? It contradicts everything I thought I knew about obesity. I am working to build muscle mass to try to boost my burn rate. Problem I have is increasing burn always increases appetite too.

I think that pucker is also called dog ears. I NEVER saw any evidence of shoddy work in Dr Harris photos BTW - so don't take it that way. My meaning is just that other surgeons recommended more aggressive work for me (lower body lift) over Dr Harris Tummy tuck recommendation. I am not an expert, just throwing out there the kind of things to ask about. Alot depends on how much skin you really have - i had a pretty goodly amount and was worried i would have puckers or dog ears. Also, my incisions are smooth and even... I have seen some that don't look that great on the internet so there really is a difference in surgeons. I really hated the idea of the lower body lift but now that i have had it, I am glad I did because my overall profile is so much improved.

Before and after pix....lots of them. Ask about realistic expectations of results, recovery time etc. Ask what is the risk of dog ears (one reason for the lower body lift for me). Ask what is included (ie how long follow ups etc.) Ask if he offers a way to buy complications insurance. Can't get that in Mexico but I would buy it in the USA. I like dr harris but he is a cosmetic not plastic surgeon. Shouldn't make a difference for a tummy tuck, but just be aware. I think you should next schedule with Dr Mary Peters who has an amazing results portfolio but is more costly. She had different recommendations for me than Harris so it was educational to meet both.

While the nuts and a few other things have carbs I have to agree with misty-if I wanted to gain 5# I would start with Pasta,potatoes,bread and fruit. Those are all relatively healthy foods that pack weight on me. Add Peanut Butter, trail mix and a little ice cream for dessert(not healthy but even small quantities does wonders in terms of weight gain) and I would be gaining. Prior to my plastics I often did 4-8hour activities like hiking or riding my horse through the mountains etc. and my"survived the Irish famines genes" kick in and make me hungry and metabolicly efficient. As in,did not make me lose too much weight. I would love to have the bmr testing done but assume it is too costly given I don't really need to know. Good luck at finding a good balance. I commend you for focusing on ideal health and living an active life -this is why we did the surgery!

Only the formerly obese can be so hard on ourselves. In what universe should a woman who used to weigh 250ish feel shame for weighing in the 140s? And like I said by sharing your on going success story, with all its ups and downs, is helpful to the rest of us so I hope you realize you haven't let anyone down. I have been so guilty of all or nothing thinking,like that feeling that gaining 10 might as well be 100# I am really cognizant of that...feeling of shame and despair which of course helped pave the path to a big regain. Hasn't happened yet post sleeve.......but I am vigilant. In early stages successful vets help so much with eating and exercise, but the long haul challenges....that's where the stories and lessons to be learned are really valuable!

So good to see you! Diva I was obese most of my life, I am 49and like high intensity workout too. I know I have knee arthritis and likely more....do you think the high intensity contributed to the issues? I am 2years out, 3 months out from plastics and maintaining below my goal...but definitely feel like it is a delicate hold. I learned something very important from my band failure which is to reach out when things go bad as opposed to hiding in shame like I did. I think it is modeling ideal behavior to say "I regained xx pounds and now I am going to get them off" that's what keeps us from regaining 100#.

I wasn't cleared for swimming,pool,hot tub at 5 weeks.

Pain was not an issue for me...but recovery was a long road that interfered with my life....lol. made me a little crazy! Now, 3months post op I am so glad I did it!!!!!!! When I ride bikes and horses I no longer have skin sitting on my lap. I love showing off, not hiding my arms...I can go on and on....

Yes but don't over do it once you are there

Bruce aka Hottie and i have talked about challenges of meeting people this way. I know darn well that he hasn't found women our age (he is 51) who meet his looks criteria besides me - he runs into the same thing I do - lots of 50 year olds are out of shape etc. However, I also know damn well that the 30 year olds are happy to find a guy like him so for all I know he is chatting someone else up - which is fine - we are in early days. I too could find a 30 year old but it isn't what I want. I believe his reason, it is just the chaos factor that I don't like. So, he recently moved here from alaska and is a union big equip operator. The union doesn't have much work yet so he is doing a "by the hour" for a flakey company and gets jerked around a bit - i totally understand that work comes first. He didn't think he was working at all on Thursday or Friday. He was going to leave for Bend oregon Friday morning and had this Dr appt down there at 4 in the afternoon. Well, he wound up working Thursday and then his dad called and said that the Doc office moved the appointment to 9am so he had to make that 7 hour drive Thursday night. His parents are in their late 80s and I know my mother would have just accepted the changed appointment too - generational thing. I believe the whole story ... what irritated me was that a) second time something like this has happened and in all the confusion he didn't think to tell me once he realized things were going to hell during the day Thursday. So, he texted me first thing today - I really do think he is interested in me - but I just find this caveman communication and logistics skills to be irritating as all hell. I have noticed with people that they are generally on their best behavior in the beginning so I expect it to get worse. I haven't told him to drop dead yet...lol... Remember, I am already jaded...lol... so my ability to give the benefit of the doubt is pretty low right now. As the country western song goes.... "my give a damn is busted" Too bad he is so hot.

High intensity exercise tends to make the scale jump I think your muscles hold water. I am up 2 pounds since starting at the gym. I can actually see the tummy swelling... it's that bad on the water retension. I am back to wearing compression garments in my sleep and I wear those rocking pant liners during the day to put compression on the belly. I love those garments... my thighs look just completely tight in the skinny jeans with those on. It seems there are other "diets" gaining momentum based on the idea that we are not grazers and that we should allow periods of time between eating. I was given the mindset to eat frequently and it is looking like more and more evidence that our internal organs need a freaking break from digestion. I still want to do 5:2 - my point is that right now I am making headway on mood stabilization and that is #1 priority. It has been hard for me to really do a proper fast day and i am not stressing over it. One thing I do is make sure I get at least that 18 hours without food twice a week. I think if NOTHING ELSE that helps. So, I am fairly into this guy Bruce. I have gone on a lot of first dates with no spark, and I felt it with him I guess. He seems to really like me, calls me all the time, texts me all the time but for the SECOND TIME has cancelled on me the last minute. Always a good reason, but pfffff... that is ridiculous. Steven at least had the decency to cancel on me 1-2 days in advance. With this guy - i was supposed to meet him at 5 and I texted him at 4 to let him know i would be heading over soon. Then he calls to tell me this big long multidimensional story that involved him driving to Bend Oregon (where his parents live) overnight for a doctors appointment that got moved to the morning. (Now THAT sounds like a typical Steven story - the man who lives his life in complete chaos.) I didn't tell him to kiss off when we talked yesterday because i wanted to sleep on it, but I am going to tell him to go away. My gut feeling is that he actually has no idea how annoying and rude it is and that he just lives his life this way. i could be wrong, but it seems like it just normal for him to have some "out of control" distraction and I hate that kind of chaos. He is super good looking , looks closer to 40 than 50, is tall and fit and charming and so far has behaved like a real gentleman while still expressing alot of interest in me (ie charming) - and as Denise pointed out to me, maybe has gotten away with this crap due to those attributes. What annoyed me the most is i was working in the office and didn't have gym or riding clothes so basically I couldn't do either of those things either. I haven't gone on any first dates in a bit, have none lined up for the weekend and am giving it a rest. I never did that speed dating, that is up next when i actually feel like going on a date - I figure that will at least be entertaining if nothing else.