CowgirlJane

Wow Coops that is so tragic. I have a firend who is a firefighter. What has shocked me is that he has to deal with suicide situations so much - I think it is a big problem and such a sad outcome. always makes you wish that person could have seen himeself through the eyes of others that valued him so greatly. I am truly sorry.

Sorry to hear about family and marriage stress - it totally sucks. In my case it wasn't caused by my weight loss.... but I will say that removing 150# of emotion burying fat made it so I could actually see and feel the issues that were really pretty bad all along. I hope this is something that can be worked through and a good outcome for you and your family.

I would have to draw the line there... if my social life was impacted this much to lose the last 10... I don't think I would go there. Thats probably why I am where I am, and not 10 pounds lower! I am not that great in the social life department anyway, and cutting out my occasional outings with friends that involve food (not horrible, The tummy helps on the quantity part, but some treats) would be heartbreaking to me. Most of my "food outings" are at horrible restaurants that do not cater to vegetarians anyway, and I have switched most of my thinking to "going out for socializing, and not for eating" Where do we draw the line? I go out once a week to a delicious restaurant - we go to happy hour as that is the only way to afford the food there...haha. I have two drinks and an appetizer - or share two apps with my friend. We sit there for a couple of hours after happy hour and chat with the regulars siince the DUI laws are so strict we want to be stone cold sober before leaving. I probably am NOT willing to give that up - but internet dating which seems to involve food and wine - often quite nice - yeah, I can give that up...LOL This morning the scale coughed up 151 instead of 154 so I feel a little less weirded out. It is strange - I am still well under my official goal of 158 so I am not sure why this upset me so much. I think it is that feeling of out of control - like how do I gain 4-5# in just a few days sort of feeling. I am worried that i am having ab swelling due to plastics. Surgeon keeps saying this is way late, I am a slow healer etc but I know from the patient support group that some people have intermittant swelling for like a year. Anyway, compression around the belly as I would like to maintain a waist! florinda, i am sorry if my words sounded like an attack - they were not intended that way and I think if you reread it you will realize it wasn't. I was taken aback as I thought i was understanding your situation but I wasn't. It really is your business what you choose to share and I am very HAPPY for you!!!!

So, I think Body Pump builds muscle endurance more than mass. To me it is very complimentary to other types of strength training. I have gone I think 4 times now - started out so easy on myself I didn't even break a sweat. I keep adding a bit of weight and really do hit muscular failure due to the high reps. The best class is the one that is probably 2/3 bodypump combined with a mega intense core workout... that core workout is almost too hard for me.

I had the band for ten long years! The sleeve is so much better BUT recovery is a little harder due to dehydration. Don't be shy and get IV fluids if you need them. I didn't - but I made it my mission to sip sip sip those early weeks. When you read the posts that say "I regret the sleeve, I feel like I am dying" I generally suspect undiagnosed dehydration OR excess acid. My surgeon had me on PPI the first3 months as prevention. After the initial healing period the sleeve ROCKS but I felt not quite human those first 6-8 weeks....

CBT - I think the risk goes much longer as most peoples drains are out in 2 weeks (I went 3 weeks with my last two drains) and seromas seem to show up certainly during the first 6 weeks. I am far from expert, but a common theme with the seromas are doing too much too soon. also, a couple of people on that facebook group have had wounds re-open by getting in hottubs and doing other questionable activities too soon...haha. well, not funny, but you would be surprised. Anyway, easy does it, slowly return to normal. I think many PS LIE and tell people they are back to normal at 6 weeks. I think it is more accurate to say... you begin to return to normal at 6 weeks.... and slowly crawl up from there. I am over 3 months out and am pretty good but I do sometimes get a bit of belly swelling after intense exercise. The lympathic and drain system is really impacted by plastics and some people are more impacted than others.

I too think you should go for it. my "transformation" came in stages... why not? I got a free makeover when I was a few pounds from goal and HATED what she did, but it did trigger me to update my look and work on my own sense of style.

I have been doing body pump and it FEELS like a great class. I was doing a little googling though and don't see alot of rave reviews about people really changing their bodies due to it. Not sure what I think... but it is really fun!

I went abroad to Dr Sauceda and had follow up done by my PCP. I DECIDED to do the stitch removal at home (by my caretaker) and it was easy peasy. He even removed one drain. I luckily had no complications, but I will tell you this - no MATTER WHERE you have plastics done there is at least some financial risk should you have complications. some insurance plans will exclude this. What I liked about the USA based surgery is you could buy "gap insurance coverage" which was not available to me going to Mexico. It was a bit of a worry for me because we all know how expensive a hospital stay is.... Dr Sauceda keeps you for 11 days - his reason being that infections and certain other complications are likely to show up in that early days. I network with a group of his patients on facebook and in spite of good surgeon people definately CAN and do develop seromas post op and we all need to face that (and other) potential risk after plastics. I did not have pain issues BUT, Dr S keeps you in the clinic for 3 days where they can do good pain management. I had my PCP doc prescribe pain meds "just in case" but I didn't really need them except for drain removal...ha! Anyway - your post was a good reality check. This plastics stuff is great, but is not without risks....

I decided to join a gym for a few months and work with a personal trainer... it was either that or crossfit and I guess i flipped a coin and wound up at the gym..haha. I am coming back to exercise after significant time off from major plastics... Anyway, first session was today and my goals are to strengthen and tone, reduce body fat percentage and (nice to have) build up some more butt since mine is quite skinny. Trainer recommended taking aminio acid supplements when doing aerobics to keep body from burning lean muscle - if I understood correctly. I am curious if this really makes a difference... i know some of you have researched this stuff alot. My bodyfat is about 29% but i really wonder how accurate the pinch tests are on the formerly obese. Anyway, he laid out a plan of how to get to like 20% bodyfat and I told him I thought 25% is good enough for a 49 year old (I didn't mention my fear of my butt disappearing entirely..haha) The compliment he paid is that even though i have been off exercise for awhile... just started back up recently, my strength and flexibility are really good. My form is good too. I credit my Julian Michael's DVDs I learned alot from them. I laughed when he said I could kick the butt of the 30 year guy he just worked with who claimed to be athletic. I will be most interested to see if in a month I can drop 2% body fat down to 27 since I didn't see that kind of movement working out on my own (well, I didn't have a good way to measure either, just going by my scale that supposedly measures body fat%). In truth, as expensive as CrossFit is, I bet by the time I pay for personal training, cross fit is an affordable option. I am just doing month to month at the gym so thought i would re-evaluate after a month but I am liking it there - good group classes, trainer was really good and it isn't too crowded.

Wanda, I can't lose weight if I really eat anything "extra" more than about once a week - my "going out" night. One thing that is nice about seeing steven is he really doesn't eat. Seriously, he is just not food oriented. "dating" is killer on me since normal people eat meals apparently. My house is completely clear of bread, crackers, cold cereal and other tempting carbs now. I may have to completely cut out going out to eat or drink in order to get back under 150 - so my weekly happy hour may have to be sacrificed but no big decisions until I get back from my biz trip to Orlando. I am annoyed with this right now, feeling that "it isn't fair" feeling but I will get over it and carry on. Wanda, I sense you are coming into your own formula for success. Knowing how you need to eat, how to use the intermittant fasting, how adding a little exercise can help. Once the pieces come to gether and the weight begins to slowly drop.... it will be clearer. Then, it will still be work, but at least the path is lit and you know what needs to happen.

Hi Millergirl - welcome. Dr Landerholm and team are the best - take advantage of all the education and support there, they are wonderful! Good luck to you!

EX moved out... well sorta Friday night but since he was there Saturday I didn't realize it..haha. Anyway, he is really out now. He is coming back for a week to take care of the critters while I am in Orlando. I am doing surprisingly well, but i am worried sick. we are having a cold snap and it is 25 F degrees this morning. I hope he decided to stay with someone - he has those options. I texted him last night and he said he is okay. I don't believe in calorie math - you know the ole calories in calories out? To me it is about as reliable as the Easter Bunny and Santa Claus. I actually think that my body is full of stress and is hiding it from my conscious mind in those shrunken fat cells. Stress weighs alot. That's my story and I am sticking to it. I weigh 153.2 this morning which is better than the 154 I weighed yesterday. What is so crazy is I was just under 150 last week. Oh how quickly that harsh mistress, the scale, withdraws her favors. I am 5'5" and I think I would like to weigh about 140 (I had plastics at 150 so ideally should keep my weight within 15# of that weight). I think I would like to make that my goal for 2014 to lose to 140 and drop my body fat % to 25%. It might take me all year, and i have to hide it from my friends and family who think I am already either skinny enough (yeah probably) or too skinny (which i am not - lets be real here). I am sorry to hear that Laura Ven is struggling so - miss her. Thanks for posting Florinda - good to hear from you. As far as particpating in a conversation - many of my posts go unanswered and I know I don't answer many others but I DO read them all and try to keep all the stories straight. Don't take it personally.

I was in full on freak out mode... about the surgery. I was especially afraid of the anesthesia. Meeting with the anesthesialogist gave me so much peace of mind... he promised me he'd keep me breathing and just gave me alot of reassurance. I get sick from general and they gave me an anti naseau cocktail that kept me from vomiting. i still felt like crap for a few hours, but compared to some previous experiences, it wasn't too bad. I think in hindsight, what i was REALLY afraid of was losing 85% of my stomach and still being obese but at the time all that anxiety focused on my fear of stopping breathing during surgery. I have said this lots of times, but i find over and over and over again on this journey that I worry about the wrong things...LOL. I promise you that the surgery itself, even those first few weeks of recovery which can be hard... is really not the main thing... for many of us now just a distant memory. The main thing is changing your relationship with food and eating. That is quite a "row to hoe" and is a long term deal. I know you will be fine and will have amazing success! Believe in the wonderful possibilities that lie ahead; keep your eye on the prize!

Most of the time I accept that I am not normal when it comes to weight management...but it occasionally still ticks me off. Exercise, eat really well MOST of the time. Heck I dont even eat "meals" by most people's standards and yet a small deviation and it shows up on the scale. That is my reality, just pisses me off sometimes. Grump. I have said many times I am very content with my weight at about 150, but at 5'5" that is not exactly skinny. You would think that would be easy to maintain...and with my active lifestyle, even get smaller...but truth of it is that my body gravitates toward being heavier and that's just the way it is. Carry on...what other choice do we have?

I want to go to Wales too! Yea I miss our "possee" here too but I realize that this online stuff can be a real time sucker. One of the reason I quit the dating sites was the time waste factor. I have been in a farm maintenance, house dejunking whirlwind last few days. I want a fresh start... I even want new furniture, not sure I will do that but I just want everything to feel fresh and different. I am doing better than I feared since being alone. I am busy busy. I am very unhappy with my weight bounce..hit 154 this morning....post superbowl excesses I guess. Just can't seem to make my weight top priority right now. It is quite the reminder how delicate the maintenance balance is though...

I have been reading these forums long enough to know there is much variation. I encourage you to focus on success... track track track... ask for knowledgable input from your surgeon or nutritionalist and adjust as needed. I have been very successful with the sleeve, but have made many adjustments along the way. We aren't all the same and it is so easy to wonder why we don't show the same stats as the person next door. I felt like was losing too slow during elements of the journey, but in total, I exceeded my docs expectations. BTW, i had lost FIFTY huge pounds before there was much of a visible difference and it was a little discouraging feeling... so i do relate. However, if you look at my before and after photos you can see that one pound at a time... it adds up and you eventually get healthier and thinner. Hang in there!

I am so proud of you! Me in the meantime seem to be bouncing UP! So, I have put on hold or cancelled my dating website stuff. I felt like it just became a distraction. I felt like I am not meeting the right people because 1. I don't really want a serious relationship/let someone into my life right away and yet 2. I shy away from anyone that seems too casual. ha. Anyway, I have been seeing my friend Steven again and it has been good but even that... I don't know, it's fun and not time consuming like this stupid internet dating thing but, he is starting a cycle I recognize. This is the cycle where he starts thinking he really likes me and we should do more, be together more, even referred to me as his girlfriend ... and then i know he'll freak out and back away again. It has happened enough times that it is like watching a movie you have seen before and losing my sense of humor about it. I obviously care about him, and he has been such a cheerleader and confidence builder to me AND i would like to do more fun stuff with him as he lives an adventurous life, but I am pretty low drama and do get annoyed by some of this. Low, low expectations in fact - given that i know the reality i don't actually want to do more with him because i know it will just cause drama that i hate. I am starting to suspect he at some level LIKES drama because this cycle is often triggered by us nearly "breaking up". Sometime this year, perhaps sooner than later, i will be done with all of that... just not yet..because i will be honest after years and years of no physical affection I like being with someone that makes me feel great..and tells me I am beautiful and plays a fantasy game of our little world that just feels great - and apparently i have to put up with a little drama to keep that going....haha Then.... I am not sure, but I think I got out on a date to go flying on a private plane. Okay, my friend mary and I go to happy hour once a week at the same place and have been doing it for probably 18 months. Regulars.ha! Anyway, you get to know a few people and this place is super friendly, attracts an older/mature crowd and is really a fine restaurant with a small bar so very very comfortable. A couple of the bar tenders are also horse people, etc. It is just a mellow place, not a pick up joint by ANY stretch. Well, a fellow named Tony is one of the regulars that we talk to alot - he owns his own construction business, grew up on a farm in Minnesota comes from a big Irish Catholic family (like mine) and his hobby is is airplane. Actually, I know alot about his life as we have been sorta chatting for like a year. In December, when i was really trying to find a Steven replacement and going on internet dates my friend Mary let it out that I was on my way to a date. Well, Tony asked me about how it went a week later. I think I said something like "fine" (it was the night of being rather forcefully groped in a very uncomfortable way - and actually took the wind out of my sails so to speak). Well, Saturday night he asked me about that date again. I told him that it was not that great and didn't see the person again and in fact really don't like meeting people on the internet. He told me he had tried it too and didn't like it either. Then he asked me if I wanted to go out in his plane sometime. He has had his pilots license and owned his own plane for over 25 years and flies a couple of times a week so I judge it to be safe enough. So, no specific date/time - so not sure it was being asked on a date but i told him I would love to. Mary asked me what I thought about him - we both think he drinks an awful lot (she goes out more than i do and sees him at other local haunts too), and he has a more petite build than I am attracted too.... BUT, he is nice and I feel safe with him, he lives in a good location for me to see someone, has a good career/business and heck, he has an airplane. Why not go out with him a time or two and see? Anyway, don't see anything happening soon because i am off to Orlando here shortly.... but i am most curious if it is was a request for a real date or rather just one of those "we should get together sometime" blah blahs. If nothing else, made me feel good to be asked.

Ok, if you have been reading here long you know my story. I had lots of issues over the 10 years I had the band including what you describe. In addition, I was pretty much hungry all the time too. The sleeve has been a much more effective tool for me. Look at my profile for details but I lost over half my starting weight...the sleeve has saved me. One clear long term issue is risk of acid/reflux/GERD issues with the sleeve. Research indicates that about 3 to 6years post op alot of people develop a problem. I debated nearly a year whether I was willing to accept that risk....of basically needing to be on meds for it forever. I simply cannot believe there is no long term consequences of having most of your stomach removed -I take this very seriously. There is no going back once it is done. It scares me a little of so many very young or low BMI people getting sleeved....this is a big deal. However, I had 100percent chance of early disability and death as a300 pounder with comorbidities. I needed to do something to save my life. The sleeve has helped me accomplish the unthinkable...normal body weight and a fit and active life. Best thing I could have done. No regrets and so far no acid! I am a sleeve evangelist!

We say crock of shit too.... ha. Not to be confused with a crock pot. So, I do have a question. The difference tween USA and UK in the use of Me and My is well known. Watching Shameless I notice a difference in the use of the words "were" and "was". Like "I were passed out drunk" might be something a character on shameless would say...haha. Or "You was pissed". Years ago I listened to an NPR show on dialects and found out that the appalachian accents in the USA are based on Scotish settlers and they tend to use was and were opposite of what we think of as correct. So, is this just a local dialect thing in the UK too? I grew up on the west coast so have what most Americans consider a neutral accent. This has come in handy as I have done many English to English translations. For example, when I worked in Germany one of my direct reports spoke very poor English and spoke no other languages than German. We had to work with peers in Italy, France etc - English being the common language. The Italian colleague always threw in lots of extra syllabals so to a non native English speaker he was really hard to understand. We had many a meeting where they would each speak (in turn) and I would repeat it so the other party could understand. Reckon the UN has any openings for English to English translators? HA! I gotta get my ass moving today. i have to run errands and I am supposed to meet my friend Mary. I might bail on her, I a don't know. I don't feel like even leaving my house, but sometimes you just have to do things even when you don't have the "ummpph" to.

oh, and I had my surgery here locally at a center of excellence and they refused to set a goal weight for me. They are smart - they talked alot about high BMI people not getting too crazy with goals since too many times people lose 100# and feel like a failure. Their point is losing 100# is a crapload even if you are still "overweight". They focus more on getting to the point of reducing health co-morbidities etc. Most of us that were super obese have lost massive weight before (I lost 85#on weight watchers for example) and they know how that rodeo usually goes.... So, who cares what a surgeon's goals are anyway. Think in terms of continous improvement of health. This isn't a temporary deal with an end - this is a lifetime of living and eating a different way.

He is supposed to be out by the end of january... that is today, right? Truth of the matter is that this has been in the works for AGES and he hasn't packed a single box, consolidated his stuff, he hasn't done ANYTHING toward the plan. It doesn't do me any any harm that he is here except I never move on. I never get to just get it behind me I never get to get used to living alone and figuring shit out all by myself. I am never really truly free to start my new life. So what he does today instead is volunteers to go get hay for me. I feel so overwhelmed i am starting to shut down. I am supposed to see Steven tonight but don't even feel like it. I am not wound up... just feel like i want to hibernate or something. Steven will understand - God knows he has cancelled on me enough times. This apathy will pass but it sucks right now. And I need to find a stupid cocktail dress for a stupid cocktail party - very important work related awards night. I usually love that kind of thing but right now i don't even know what a cocktail dress looks like. Well, they are all black, right?

arrggg.... no more bacon talk...LOL.. I smell it every damn morning!!! bacon is more crack like than even crackers are! While I realize it is very low carb, bacon is actually a horrible food nutritionally, all nitrites and fat pretty much. Damn I am not having a good day.

My situation was different.... but I had lost 125 # - huge right? My partner (long term live in relationship) hadn't said a word. Not a compliment, not an awknowledgement. One day I asked him... shyly... if he noticed that I was looking better. He kinda rolled his eyes at me and told me in a dismissive tone that he had always thought I was attractive. On the one hand, that was kind, but on the other hand, it completely invalidated my entire transformation. I stewed on that for quite some time, but I started peeling the layers of that onion... and eventually realized that i was in a relationship that had been "dead" for years. Had nothing to do with my weight so losing weight didn't help any at all.... In my own mind, I thought our relationship problems had to do with me being grossly fat. nope. I am single now.

I wear a medium top - pretty universal although sometimes they are too baggy. I have a few med button up tops that I wish had a little more room across the bust. Pants sizing are ridiculously variable though. I mostly own 8s but they are mostly getting too baggy now. I have a few 6s, but they are very form fitting skinny jeans..haha. I went to White House Black Market and wore their 2s and 4s which is just crazy. So, don't believe in sizes anymore due to the crazy vanity sizing stuff. I think it is about proportion. I measure "about" 40-30-38 although for some reason my waist measure is sometimes more like 30.5 or 31" as i still get some post plastics swelling especially after intense exercise. My top measurement is so large mostly because I have a big frame, you know just a wide back, shoulders and ribcage - i am only a C cup so not outrageously big in "that" way. Anyway, I encourage people to not get too wrapped up in a number - whether it is the scale or a size... but rather to pay attention to your health, how you feel, how you look. I have been fine tuning where I want to be since hitting goal a year ago. I keep working out, well, really, I just keep trying to work that sleeve.