CowgirlJane

Learn something new everyday! Happy St David Day!

This is how I spent my Friday afternoon!

I am single and although I am not currently dating/trying to meet someone for a Long term I have over the past nearly a year done some online dating. I have always felt that before someone decides to "see" me he should know my history of obesity and plastics. I don't bring it up on the first or second date, but planned to tell anybody that I really intended to "go" with. I have a "friend" that I have been seeing quite awhile (no long term potential there) and he told me -without my even asking - that I shouldn't bother mentioning my plastics. He knows everything I had and saw the wounds at 2 and half weeks so is very aware - and now at 3 months tells me he doesn't even notice them. By the time I am 6 or 12 months out the scars will be so faded... in his mind just not relevant. He also knows about my history of obesity and again sorta thinks it is irrelevant for dating. I guess by the time you are really serious with someone you should say something, but in the nearterm, just doesn't seem that important. He tells me I don't look like someone that was ever overweight (whatever THAT means) and since i am quite committed to maintaining fitness just isn't relevant. I didn't totally agree with him since I like to get stuff out on the table, but I was reflecting that some of the men I met on online dating want to tell me way too much, way too soon and it is a huge turn off. Like, I am more interested in the who that you are now, the dreams you have for your life and the future you are working for then hearing about your bleepity-bleeping ex wife for instance. I was thinking that maybe my friend is right, that it is info that someone should eventually know, if we are really serious, but for a basically dating type relationship it just isn't that important. i am curious what you other "singles" think about this.

I have a bathroom scale that measures body fat and they did the pinch test at the gym and they were within a percent of each other. I have been eating a lot the last 2 days and i am not sure why. I need to stop it though. I observe that it started after my EX visited but that might be just a coincidence.

My body fat is in the 28-29 range and doesn't seem to move at all either...

I love that the you spotted me ad an Irish girl...Haha...what was the give away? So just so you know, the whole bra wings (or commonly know as side boobs) are not easily resolved via plastics. I didn't have an upper body lift so accept them...

You MIGHT not need plastics. My advice to everyone is to not worry about excess skin during the weight loss phases. I am being completely honest...being a healthy weight even with the skin issue is 1000 times better than obesety.

I need to get around to creating a before and after collage. Sweetpee, I need to compliment you too. You have described very well how hard plastics really are over many posts. I LOVE my results.and am so glad I did it, but wow, it was no cake walk. You have accurately described how long it takes to be normal again. Maybe it is better I didn't really know that in advance. .. haha

I tend to post mostly in the vets, plastics and band to sleeve forums. I like to share things that work since I have been obese (I HATE that word but it is the truth) most of my life and finally found my way "out" If I can help one single person find their way to being "normal" I would feel so .... happy. I am glad you noticed this and found it useful. costco and Trader Joe's are my main sources as they are filled with Protein "bargains"

I got down to about 165 range at at my initial consult they told me i didn't have much more to lose. At 5'5" I was a bit skeptical to be honest. I postponed surgery until I got down to 150 and was told that I should stay within 10% of that to maintain best results. My reasoning was i never want to get below 135 or over 165 so it seemed like a good place to be! By the time i had surgery I had 5.5# of skin removed and doctor said I didn't really have enough fat to make lipo worth the pain and recovery. I think he was right, my body fat percentage is within the range of normal for my age and gender. I am happy with my choices and results and went to Dr Sauceda in Mexico. And yes, he does mega procedures at once which i realize is controversial and has plusses and minuses. for me, it was a good choice though because i wanted it DONE and couldn't take off many weeks for repeated surgeries. Just emotionally, I needed to get this whole plastics deal in my rearview mirror so to speak....The USA surgeon i consulted with wanted to do it over 3 surgeries and while I might have gotten "tighter" results going that route, I am pleased as punch with what I got so am glad for my decision.

Denise I am so happy you have found a compatible person. I think what is funny is that when i was young I would have loved all that attention.... funny how life changes you. I love to be paid attention to, but then i need space to breathe.

No Venice is Sinking ball this weekend - I am actually a little relieved. I have so much to get done... David's client meeting wound up being Saturday so he gives me this "he'll call me and make plans at some point". Well, I don't mean to difficult, but I also am not that available. I think Saturday I am gonna spend working on the farm and getting caught up on life. I did go see Roseann Cash in concert last night. Very good! I am very tired today though... i just can't do these weeknight things EX came by yesterday (planned). everything was fine but just being around him triggered some feelings of anxiety for not particular reason, but it does remind me that the more we are apart, the better i seem to be feeling.

So I went back to my post op instructions. Zinc, Iron and Protein deficiencies are "possible" causes of hair loss. Have you had blood work recently? I lost massive hair post op due to the surgery even though my blood work was good but I was told that if you are more than a year from surgery it is more likely to be caused by lack of certain nutrients. Now in my case, I was lucky I have so dang much hair that it actually improved it to be a bit thinner. I now have layers... the regrowth and old growth...LOL...however it was scary at the time to be removing like a garbage bag full of hair everyday (well, it seemed like that much anyway).

I just wish that people that use the mobile app could see our signatures and profile pix and before and afters.... there is alot of inspiration to be found there and it just isn't seen because so many people use the app.

Okay, I know I sound like a broken record... but here are a couple of things for hunger management to try. 1. You might be having excess acid... that happens. I know, everybody says, "I don't have reflux" but i am telling you even excess acid without reflux can feel like a gnawing hunger. If I had known that during the 10 years I had the lapband I might not have grown to over 300# since I suffered with low grade acid and the only thing that soothed me was food. An acid inhibitor drug can do wonders if you need it. 2. Carbs make me hungry. i mean, they really make me hungry. If I eat clean, stay low carb, I have a low to moderate appetite. When the carb monster is unleashed, i feel like I want to eat ALL the time. 3. Go back to basics... dense Proteins are FILLING. Slider foods just slide by and don't give you that feeling of satisfaction. Seriously, try following the basic sleeve rules for a week or two and see if your appetite doesn't begin to decrease. 4. Water load. Okay, this is where about 2-3 hours after a meal you start consuming alot of water. I mean, like, you down a couple of cups... don't make yourself uncomfortably full, but you should feel some lack of emptiness! This is not for the newly sleeved I would say, but for someone a ways out like me, it extends the time before I need to eat again. Conversely, don't drink before meals - a dry tummy gets full feeling on those dense proteins way faster then one already lubbed up by liquids. 5. Practice to eating to absence of hunger, not to fullness. Over time you start to change your perception of "enough" and get more restriction.

Maybe I didn't say it right. What I really meant was that for a variety of reasons (former obesity in my case) our bodies may not really be what they seem. I have no cartiledge left in my knees... and I have also apparently used my muscles wrong in the past and I carry that history with me. I have a friend who has never weighed more than 100#, is my age, and just had to have a knee replacement. For reasons unrelated to obesity - she has some physical limits too. What I am really getting at is respecting our bodies for our reality is all. For some formerly obese, perhaps there is no limit and they can compete at world class athlete level, but for many of us that isn't the case. I just think it is easy to get misled... the youngster personal trainer I was working with surely was.

I am sorry to hear this. it is so tough. Avoid all or nothing thinking. A few rugged days does NOT mean that you are somehow broken or everything you have worked toward is lost. You know, even "normies" (never obese - need to come up with a better name!) can do unhealthy things as response to stress. The difference is they pick themselves up, lick their wounds and move on rather then staying in an unhealthy rut. A few times I have wanted to use food as comfort too - not saying it is good, but it happens. What has worked is substituting. For example, hot Protein cocoa is very comforting to me! Yeah, maybe I wasn't really hungry when I drank it, but it made me feel better and did minimal harm.

Well said! Staying engaged with newcomers also keeps me focused on my own, on-going journey. My perspective on this is that goal weight is not the end... this isn't a race... this is an ongoing journey and lifestyle I am also reminded of Tiffykins and how much her taking time to share her story influenced ME. She gave me hope when I had very little. Sometimes maybe I can do the same for another...paying it forward so to speak.

I was so damn "over it" by the time I was sleeved. I was more worried about avoiding my own "real funeral" too young then I cared about what I couldn't eat. I think my state of mind was such that if someone told me how i could be healthy and never have to eat again I would have accepted it. That is not to say I don't enjoy food, because I do now. The difference is that MOST of the time, I enjoy it appropriately. Food needs to not just be appealing/taste good, it also needs to make me feel good and healthy. This mindset has helped me alot staying away from some old favorites like ice cream. It does not make me feel good so I no loner enjoy it - thank goodness for the sleeve. I just don't care that much about food as pleasure... there are alot of things in life that give me pleasure so food has moved to a more appropriate catagory.

My opinion? It works! My surgeon guided us to moderate carbs and in the beginning I didn't worry much about it. My weight loss started crawling... at about 8 months out. I had ALOT to lose (over 150) so that was concerning to me. I faced two things - I was eating too many carbs, mostly in the form of Quest Protein bars (my brilliant NUT pointed that one out) AND my own internal resistance to getting to normal size. Once i faced both of those issues - I got to goal. I eat low carb much of the time, and so it depends on your perspective if you think I am extreme. I am in maintenance now after losing 160#. i eat bread or potatos maybe, maybe once a month at most. I really never eat noodles or rice. I do go out sometimes and have a drink (carbs) and apps (usually more protein based). I don't count carbs anymore, but basically I live a low/moderate carb lifestyle MOST of the time and so far it is working. Now, not everyone is so carb sensitive. I get HUNGRY when I eat alot of carbs - even fruit. all those sugars trigger a hunger response so it is not just the carb count itself, it is appetite management. I am over 2 years out and my hunger is definately present.

So, my first thought is that Cross Fit is a means to an end... not the goal itself. When it was useful great, when it is no longer useful... kick it to the curb. no guilt, no regrets, lick your wounds and move on. I kinda think Globe may have a point. one of the challenges that I suspect many of us face is "all or nothing" thinking. I remember last summer when I regained about 5# - my clothes still fit, it was not a calamity but there was this little part of my brain that thought "5 pounds, 100 pounds - all the same... FAILURE". That is completely ridiculous of course, but you can see how your thoughts mirror that a bit. Couple of other thoughts. We, the formerly obese, may look fit, may have outstanding cardio fitness and can kinda "fool" standard ways of looking at fitness. Truth is some of us have joint damage, cartiledge gone, etc etc. Most of us were NOT lifelong athletes. I was hurt at my local gym working with a personal trainer and I am still ticked off about it. I am rehabbing with a different one and this lady was a star athlete in college and has played soccer for 30 years. i don't know her age, but probably in my ballpark. I will NEVER EVER EVER be her. We have decades of difference that can only be slightly amended by my current actions. I personally HATE the biggest loser TV show because it glamourizes obese people being physically pushed beyond any reasonable limits. Now, we are no longer obese and it is tempting to think... "hey, I can do it if so and so can" As it relates to me, I am just mad. I did a lot better with my Julian Michaels DVDs combined with spinning. I was fit, felt good and somehow managed to avoid hurting myself because I listened to my own body. I have spent the last month in constant pain because some so called expert decided I needed to be pushed beyond my body's limits and now I can hardly do the things in life I enjoy (my horseback riding, cycling - heck I even walk with a limp now!) Anyway - walk away guilt free. Find a new way to stay fit... and if that doesn't work, find something else. All these "methods" are just tools... they are not the goal in and of themselves.

M2G so so so glad to hear the pupster is recovering. I call Suzy,my 7# papillon a "PupStar" ..haha I love dogs, I would be lonely without them I think. it is hard for non animal lovers to understand but it is so soothing to have them to pet and snuggle. Meant to mention in my last post - I awoke this morning wishing there was somebody beside me. Just kinda wanting that physical contact. Then I realized i have been "wishing" for that for like a damn decade so to not turn it into anything negative. I felt lonelier when I had my EX here then I feel now. I examined how I felt, and I didn't really feel lonely I felt like I wanted sex...haha. How is that for self examination! And as though the universe reads my mind - guess who called this morning? Well, he isn't available to see me today (and I am going to music anyway) but at least I got a little chat with Steven and we are working out plans. While I realize this isn't haha funny... I laugh at myself because in the end it just isn't that complicated - I just want affection and attention sometimes.

It's been sunny, mild temperatures and I have been getting in lots of saddle time our typical February mini spring is here - so I enjoy it while I can! My "injury" from the gym is really pissing me off. I am working with a different trainer to rehab it and it still hurts alot. This morning I had a hard time doing even an easy does it spin bike session. When I ride horses, i am okay during, but hurt after. I walk with a limp sometimes now. I so regret ever starting up with personal training....grrrr I am going out to live music tonight - looking forward to that but I almost feel TOO busy. I asked David - mr ranting conservative - if he was interested in going to a "venice is sinking" formal Carnival ball on Saturday. He wants to go but may have to meet with a client so I won't know until today. (He is a personal investment advisor for high income people). I am a little bit regretting bringing it up because right now I feel a bit tired and actually want a quiet weekend to get some crap done. This counselor ... to be honest combined with Steven's "yelling at me" has really given me a bit of a push in the right direction. I have made a list of the CRAP that is holding me back/overwhelming me and am working on a plan to fix em. Won't it be good to have some things just not hanging over my head... just things in life I have let stack up and overwhelm me? My anxiety has dropped considerably this week and I think it is largely due to reframing my situation to more of an action/problem solving approach. Sunshine helps too.

This is interesting but just to be clear - it does not address excess skin, right? In my case I didn't really have stubborn fat ... but stubborn skin...haha.

Goal weight is a very personal thing and many people stop at a BMI a little higher and it suits them well. What I was told during consults is that your results are fine as long as you stay within about 10% of your weight. i used that as a guidance and had my surgery at 150 pounds. I knew that I wanted to stay within 15# of that up or down no matter what. If you lose alot more weight post plastics, you MAY have more loose skin.