CowgirlJane

Maybe we should get together for St Pattys day...haha! Well, I think I will be just back from Mexico then, but, another day would be fun. My mini coop really is mini.. the little S Coupe hardtop. White Silver with black racing stripes and black wheels. Love it. I think I need to get a photo of me with my mini..teehee. I am sorry your work situation is deteriorating - bit life lesson for me - work is just work. It's important, but it isn't your life and it surely does not define who we are!

Well, they had me use ice and some rest to get the injuried muscle to "quiet down" but then I keep working it even though it still causes some pain. The focus is on stretching and stregthening. The moves are hard to describe because they are very focused on small muscles. So, for example, lots of ab related work, but not crunches. We keep changing up the glute ones to find effective ones where the glutes do the work and not the quads taking over without hurting my knees. I wish i could give you a list of exercises and stretches but it isn't like that. Every workout is different and even the homework I get is evolving. Fiddle - even though I only dabbled at cross fit, I did alot of Julian Michal's dvds with the focus on compound moves... you get more out of your workout. I suspect it contributed to this for the same reasons you are describing. For me the lesson learned is that compound moves are great and efficient, but your weekly routine needs to also include isolation of those small and underused muscles. Example, I still do not engage the muscles on the side of my ribs to support pushups. My arms and shoulders do all the work and it is no wonder they are so hard for me. It takes time to isolate muscles - I am sure I couldn't do it without her coaching me as the way an exercise is done needs to be pretty precise.

Florinda, you are not alone in many of those feelings. I became a CPA when I was young and I am sure one of the reasons that it was so important to me - and to work for one of the most pretigious Accounting and Consulting firms in the world actually mattered to me... was for the reasons you describe. I felt like a nobody from a no matter background. I felt physically hideious (I had real body self esteem image issues as a youth). Even later, after I left that uber high stress career (that didn't suit me at all) I gained a tremendous sense of self from my work and peers. It sounds weird, but I felt a certain pride to be like the only really really fat person that ever had high visibility, executive presentations etc. in my little world. It is the truth, corporate America hats obesity as much as the rest of the world. Going through my sister's illness and death made me see the world differently though so I am no longer so focused on my self worth coming from my career, but I certainly understand it. Even now, work is the one place where I feel like I can really make a difference every day - surely in the rest of my life I feel as though I have had some pretty big failures. I sometimes get down with the feeling that I am going to be 50 this year - and when I thought I would be looking toward "golden years" with the love of my life I am instead looking at the "solo years" however they may be. I see the wrinkles on my face, I feel the sense of time passing quickly.... sometimes it is troubling. Steven has coached me alot about this, about reinventing ourselves. Don't focus on what might have been - instead focus on this being the best years of your life. (when he says it, I believe him... haha!) I think your story can also be reframed in a different way. Instead of thinking the negative (no kids, no hubby) think of the freedom you have. When I was your age, I had to financially support a family of 4 - I had to make decisions based on THAT not necessarily what I wanted. When you view it that way, you can see you have so many good opportunities before you... to do what YOU want. Anyway, I feel for you. Be careful around the oreos - evil bastards. That gain you experienced, that's what happened to me during a fairly breif period of free for all eating - it will come back off pretty quickly so don't let it bum you out. Hang in there girl - you need to get "home" - you have a plan, just follow through! Denise - i actually agree with Bill. I think couples risk drifting apart and losing the spontaneous physical relationship when they sleep apart. What continues to bother me is how he turns hostile on you when try to fix/discuss a legitimate issue. IF the tables were turned, I think you would want to discuss it, be supportive of both parties concerns. I feel like his attitude is not very loving and frankly bothers me if that is how he deals with disagreements. Anyway, I know you feel like he is "the one" but I can't help but think of protecting your heart and feelings a little bit - reserve judgement - if the sleep thing is his only "unreasonable issue" that is one thing. If he deals with relationship conflicts in general this way, well for me, that is a real red flag. Why does Bill snore with a CPAP? CPAPs solve snoring problems... does his really fit/work right? Have you tried buying high quality/expensive earplugs. My EX snored like a freight train. for many years he preferred to sleep separately but I often used earplugs during the times when we slept together even though I didn't like it.

I had very extensive plastics Oct 14 2013 by Dr Sauceda in Mexico - 4.5 months ago. Scar maturity varies alot by individual - genetics etc. I did use silicone strips but have stopped recently since they make me crazy... I am now using massage and lotions including mederma. I can't show the breast lift ones but they are essentially invisible since I only had the lollipop incision, no scarring under the breast. This photo is in a cocktail dress with no spanx or other flattening clothing... wow what a difference One of these days I will get around to updated bikini pics to compare to my preop ones ...

Hey Dorrie - it is a booming business in WA state now. my little town has "banned" them but I hear they are popping up elsewhere. I personally think it is a great venture. Just because you buy a beer doesn't make you an alcoholic and just because a person buys a joint doesn't make them a drug addict, in my opinion. BTW, in WA state is now legal for recreational use but I am unclear what the dispensaries can sell. It used to be medical card required, I am not sure now.

I emailed her the link. It can be hard to search when you don't really even know what you are looking for. I researched plastics for a long time and not everyone has patience for that. Many of the contacts are from people who just had their sleeve and I just keep telling them to not even think about plastics yet.... I will be honest, I never ever in my wildest dreams thought I could look like the girl in that cocktail dress. When I was in my early 20s I was svelte and sexy but I hated it - couldn't handle it. I sorta figured I would look like what i think of as a typical middle age woman once I lose the excess weight. I never thought I would get to a normal weight/size even because high BMI people often don't. Even before plastics, my looks were different then what I expected. So, weight is a little better today... slowly and surely working off the excess from my binge week. I am happy seeing Steven and the only "gap" is that he doesn't have time or desire to do alot of stuff i would love to have a guy do with me. This is why he keeps pushing me to move on, so that I can fullfill my wishes, but he is very happy with our arrangement. I finally told him not to bring it up until June 1 - if we are still together - because I am tired of hearing about it. I get where he is coming from and it is my choice if it is good enough or not enough for me. However, i have only been living alone just over a month, I need more time to sort things out before i am ready for a boyfriend who has any expectations of me what-so-ever. Steven has zero expectations and he is a good friend to me - and I try to be to him... so for now, it is probably as good as it gets.

This is the link to the thread that tells all about my plastics journey in the early weeks. I have gotten a few PMs so thought I would post it so people can find it! http://www.bariatricpal.com/topic/285839-two-weeks-from-plastics-progress-so-far/ I was afraid of the scars too... and yes I surely have them, but from a mental/emotional point of view they are NOTHING. They don't bother me at all, I don't even see them. I DO see how much my profile has changed so for me, it was really worth it. I think we all need to do that "math" in our head though because it is all about tradeoffs. Plastics are no joke - it is a big deal - recovery takes a long time - I think you really need to want it for it to be worth it. I came across this photo taken of me about 2 months prior to my plastics. No spanx, and I definately have a melted snowman look going on. compare that to the photo taken in Feb in the cocktail dress... again, no spanx.. 2 months pre plastics: 3 months post plastics - similar weight - maybe 5-8 pounds lighter but the skin is the difference

i have been doing squats and lunges for two years and I just get "leaner". Goes back to my original comment that I look like I am doing them right, but other muscles are carrying the workload so my glutes have not built up. Muscular/toned, but don't have the shape they should. My legs are very strong, but i do have knee issues so I never squat below that 90 degree mark to protect the knees. I have been to chiropractors over the years and they never considered that my spine was too straight. However, when I look at my profile in the mirror, and compare myself to others - the new personal trainer is right, I don't have much of a curve in my low back. She told me that part of the problem is that what feels normal to me is a tipped pelvis so some of it is retraining the brain. I have a bunch of weird exercises now, btw, much LIGHTER weight because whenever the weight gets to heavy the strong muscles take over. This comment applies to the entire workout - lighter weights focusing on the small and / or forgotten muscles.

I got this private message today and it is representative of what I get a few times a week: "I was told you had plastics don't in Mexico? What all did you have done and how much did everything cost?" Okay, it is a PITA to type from your phone so that probably explains the lack of an intro or a please or thank you - but I am getting sort of burned out on these kind of messages. I have always answered them in some detail but a part of me wonders... does this person even read on the plastics forum? I am also sure that if people are only shopping on price, they can likely find someone cheaper then Dr Sauceda. So, did I just wake up on the wrong side of the bed or is it annoying to get a "hand me all your info on a silver platter" request a couple of times a week? LOL 2 more sleeps till Mexico!

Georgia - so sorry! My mother got shingles too and I remember how much she suffered. grrr... just seems like getting more "mature" has enough challenges - why this??? Anyway, get better soon! Dorrie - your remarks about insane out of control hunger really hit home with me. I saw this counselor again about a week and a half ago. She had a theory that my weird mood swings (more specifically, that feeling like I just got devastating news, my stomach sink to to floor horrible bad feeling for no reason, that lasts very short term) had more to do with blood sugar than hormones. i try to eat by listening to my body anyway (no tracking) so I kinda let myself eat when hungry over the last week or two. Well, besides baking that stupid peppermint chocolate "cake" and polishing off the last of the bread and peanut butter my son left... grrr.... I mostly ate fairly healthy but huge quantities. I gained SIX FREAKING POUNDS in less than two weeks but nary a mood swing. Puzzle isn't it. Yesterday I buckled down and of course am even stricter today and guess what... I had one of those "moments" this morning. I was able to reflect on it intellectually and the feeling passed very quickly so I am okay, but I am wondering... is it a physical low blood sugar response? Is it "all in my head" missing carbs and freewheel eating? I really don't know because eating doesn't cheer me up or make me feel better anymore - I just observed no "drop to the pit of my stomach" moods during the freewheeling binge. I would really love it if those of you who are experiencing "mood" issues try to start notice it in conjunction with fasting or not. I am journalling. I moved my "90 day" challenge to a private journal and I am including this stuff in my daily log too. In my case, it was the day after having a stricter eating day. It may still be hormonal and I do have an appointment with my doctor to look to see if i need a different bio-identicical cream. I feel like my vaginal moisture issue is not being resolved by the one i am on. At least it doesn't make me itchy like that horrible premarin did, but I want to try a different formulation next time. I recall that saying "youth is wasted on the young" and I am really feeling that right now. What I would give to have my 22 year old body with the knowledge and life experiences I have now. I wasted those years either worrying about being fat or actually being fat... and lots of other pointless things. Now, I am ready to conquer the world - that is- if my knees hold up, there is enough light for me to read the fine print and I don't get shingles... haha.

One of the keys to keeping that feeling of restriction/tightness is to consistently eat to "satisfied" and not "full". It is like re-training your brain that absence of hunger not a feeling of "fullness" is the goal. SMALL QUANTITIES of dense Protein and veggies first! Protein Bars often slide down pretty easy and some of them are really high carb so be careful of them Good luck!

Thank you for sharing this. I am very carb sensitive - it has been the "rosetta stone" of figuring out how to get to a normal weight. I do eat carbs, but I find that restricting them is more important than restricting calories because carbs trigger hunger too! I have a healthy fear/respect of regain. This is why I still weigh myself daily and maintain a tight "bounce" range. I am fairly sure that if I ever stop it, i will regain. I am only 2 years and 3 months out from my sleeve surgery. My hunger initially returned after about 7/8 months but I have recently encountered yet another uptick in hunger. I think that for many of us that is something to be dealt with. It is STILL much better than the 24/7 all consuming hunger I felt pre op.

Not all of us had the same "rules" anyway. If I ate like your friend I would weigh 300 again. If I eat anything even approaching a "normal" diet I gain pounds. It is just how it is, I need to be a small eater of dense Protein and veggies FOREVER. I do have "treats" like alcohol sometimes but not a daily thing. My daily habits generally follow the "sleever" rules.

I am not sure how much it can mecanically or physically stretch - I have not researched it by reading actual research papers/data. What I do know is that you can sort of "lose" that feeling of restriction by behavior. I know that I can always get it back by changing my behavior which makes me think that any stretching is minor and that the real issues are getting used to a feeling of a "packed pouch" and the other remarks I made above regarding acid etc etc.

one day of eating half way decent and I am down to 152. Hopefully I can start to lose more of this water weight in the next few days! Globe, I tend to agree with what others said, but what also occurs to me is that your current situation is intentionally temporary. Think about these feelings when you create your next "base camp". I know that although I am very social there is a part of me that wants to build the fences and lock the gates if you know what I mean. In my case, I think it is age related because i have noticed the same dang thing happening to some of my girlfriends. My friend Tamara's place looks like fort knox although they haven't mounted rifle towers yet I wouldn't be surprised if that is next. Seriously, security cameras, automatic gates and just everything being positioned so you can monitor for invasions. It's a little weird but I have found my brain going that direction myself though I haven't acted on any of it. A comment about the grass being greener. I shared that when I had dinner with two very unhappily married friends who are my age... they were envious of how good I have it. I was shocked and not sure they have a realistic picture, but the point being is that no matter our circumstances it is easy to think some other way is "better". What I hope I am learning is that the key is to find out what you want your story to be... what you want your life to be. You may have to make compromises and choices to get that. I have been putting alot of thought into that lately for myself and have been developing at least a rough idea of a plan.

Amazing.. 2 months before my plastic surgery. No spanx, decidedly a melted snowman look The cocktail party in February - also no spanx. I think even I didn't quite realize how big of a change till I saw that pic from august

I use Premier Protein (chocolate and strawberry but not fond of the vanilla) but for a "powder" I think that Syntrax nectar is a good choice. Uber low carb, low calorie and lots of flavors. i like vanilla bean the best.

I found another picture of Greta Garbo that reminded me a little of my mother... interesting. I have been told before that my looks are a little exotic - but honestly I think that was a wild hair day...haha. I bet it is more something that I do with my makeup or something that i am not even aware of that is perhaps a bit old fashioned... not sure. So, I am doing pretty good right now. I had a horrible weekend. Well, Friday was amazingly awesome but the rest was just hard hard work, no real fun. I got my truck stuck in the mud and felt very alone at that moment... The good news is that it really clarified some things I need to do differently on my little farmette to make things more manageable for me. I have found it very empowering to reframe things the way that counselor said. Each struggle and moment of angst is really just a growing pain. It is really forward progress because i am learning how to do things and cope with things by myself. A big part of what I am becoming self aware of is that I hate asking for help. I don't even like hiring help on most things. What I really mean to say is that I only feel like certain people do I trust to ask for help - like my EX. I called Steven when I got my truck stuck and he was going to come rescue me but after talking it over decided he was likely to get his truck stuck too...so I found another solution. It is sort of working out for me to have him - like if I really need him he will drop everything to help me but... in general his life is even more of a messed up hassle than mine so he isn't exactly sitting around waiting for a damsel in distress to help out. I guess it is like having a security blanket but one that should only be used when things are really dire...lol I feel like I should be able to do it all, but of course I cannot. I am making it a priority to "sort things out" and really figure out what I need to do and what it makes sense to hire out and what I just need to get rid of (lighten the load so to speak). It feels good to be thinking that way and making plans toward a good direction, but it is also hard. My anxiety levels are dropping week by week, though it still rears it's head sometimes. I am getting much better at recognizing it early before it spins up and I can do things to prevent feeling bad. Seeing my EX makes me anxious but I think it is just a reminder of how pent up all that bad feelings were for so long. I am liking living alone - not because he did anything wrong - but that navigating through a situation you can't understand is a real burden on the mind and soul... and i am relieved to be done with it. I am thinking of all of you. Don't let that mean ole scale get you down! Only reason I cared about body fat % is I wanted to get down to 25% in 2014, somewhat of an arbitrary fitness goal...LOL. I think I should already be at 25% so I don't really get it but oh well! I am still puzzled what triggered my out of control hunger. I went out to lunch today and was pretty well behaved so working one step at a time to get back on track. I do find it very interesting that during the week or so I let myself scarf food nonstop, i didn't have any mood swings. Maybe it is not hormonal but rather HUNGER related. I AM going to see my doc in a few days and talk to her about hormone management. I am embarrassed to admit but my main hormone problem is a very annoying lack of vaginal moisture. I hate it. Makes me feel old. LOL. I have a bio-identical cream I use a few times a week but I don't think it is working well.

Vacay - staying with my friend Priscilla who accompanied me to Dr Sauceda. She lives in todos santos near Cabos. I am really looking forward to it although it turned out to be a terrible time to be away from work!

My over eating began with just big quantities of my normal diet. Hungry. Then, I had some bread and I had bought peanut butter for my son while he stayed with me for 4 days... and it went downhill from there. I found a peppermint chocolate bread/cake mix from Trader joes that I meant to make over the holidays. This is pre-meditated overeating. I baked it and it sat on my counter for 3 days allowing me to grab a slice here and there. I finally tossed the remainder, but downed most of it. I still feel gross in my guts from it. I am wondering though what triggered me to be so hungry. I don't think it is head hunger. Anyway, I am still in a good weight range so not freaking just wish I was heading to mexico feeling skinny not bloated. I am there March 7-15. I am bringing a swimsuit, but mostly plan to wear shorts and tops. I need to keep my scars out of the sun so that is going to be a challenge on warm days. I am told that sunscreen isn't good enough - really I need to keep them out of the sun. The only ones that are an issue are the arm scars is I can't imagine going long sleeved in hot weather. I have to watch my sun exposure anyway - fair Irish skin stays younger looking if I avoid that intense sun! Besides, my mom had skin cancer so always a little paranoid about that.

Don't worry about what other people think - I think that is too much pressure to feel "watched". I think just focusing on our own health is the way to go! I have had a weird food bender last week or two. I have gained weight incredibly fast but other times the scale has held steady even when I think I am overeating... weird. Anyway, I think this is a normal part of maintenance the key is just getting things back in good control ASAP! Happy Monday!

I am up more than a couple. Wow. I was 146-148 range just two weeks ago. This morning... 154.3 holy crap! The weight comes on so easy! I think at least some of it is swelling, I am getting a lot more low belly swelling these days and it is really annoying. I get on a plane for Mexico in a few days so I need to be a little strict this week. My clothes all fit fine and everything so I am not gonna stress over it but I don't want to go any higher.

Good to see you dorrie. I have had one week of overeating and am up a couple. I can't explain where the appetite came from! Went shopping for Mexico! Need a new pair of sandals and I am ready. Had a fairly crappy Sat and Sunday..including getting my truck stuck in mud. Worked really hard on my farm. Ate too much and feel cruddy.

Don't be depressed and housebound. Honestly even when I weighed 300plus I was still active and enjoyed life best I could. It's good practice for when you are sleeved and get HAWT...HAHA!

I don't believe in calorie math anyone. I do best low carb and.mixing it up....high and low intake days. Been eating non stop last week and gained. Did prove counselor theory that my mood swings may be related to low blood sugar. Nary a down moment whilst eating constantly. Now getting back on track but evidence that my mood issues may not be crazy but physical response to something. Still collecting evidence but happy to feel like there are reasons. Here is a weird and random thought. Steven keeps telling me I look like a beauty from the 1940s...most recently Greta Garbo. Interesting...and I wonder what it is about my look or make up or whatever that triggers that comparison. When I was 10# heavier it was Betty Boop..haha.