CowgirlJane

Great question, but I moved it to a forum where you are more likely to get replies. The veterans forum is for people a year out from sleeve surgery. I had the lapband, did not do well, but lost over 160 since revising to sleeve. I am currently in maintenance. Revision was the best thing I did.

Okay, I contacted Alex again as my status as the host without a forum...haha. anyway, i have been added to the vets forum. Seems to me the main mission there is to simply move posts started by non vets, right? What is the guideline - PM the person, but what forum do you move it to and and how do you do that? this is my pet peeve... the "ask a vet" type thing. I don't really have an issue with non vets replying so much as I realize that is mostly by mistake due to the way this site is laid out.

I am shocked you haven't had Indian food - but I live in the land of Microsoft where there are many many tech workers from India and lots of Indian restaurants. Not all of it is hot and spicy, much Indian food is quite delish. I don't know what depression really is, but i don't think it is normal to burst into tears at every little thing. It could be that something is really bothering you and you are burying that feeling so it comes out at weird times?

I think it just hit me - depends on the program you are part of. Mine never expected perfection, but clearly informed me that a certain path was more likely to result in better weight loss and maintenance results. My BMI was over 50 when I started so I took it seriously - like how can I best "work" the sleeve. I focused on weight loss during that phase... and then have adjusted my thinking a bit for maintenance but i am still terribly conscious of my food and activity choices. does that mean I am on a diet? I think we are all "on a diet" it is just a question of if it is a way of eating that supports your health and weight goals or not. It is a lifestyle, not a temporary thing - but, during the weight loss phase I was focused and fairly diligent. In maintenance, part of my diet includes certain foods/drinks that were not on the program during weight loss. I follow it "perfectly" in the sense that I live a lifestyle that so far is keeping me good in maintenance. I am currently in the low 140s; under my personal goal of 158 - starting weight was over 300. I think people misunderstand what it means to be "perfect"...haha. Perfect is not possible, but in the big picture do you live the lifestyle that is keeping you on track for your goals is really the question.

141.9 I am eating again but still losing, slowly now though. The rule of thumb is to stay within 10% of your weight at time of plastics. I was 150 so that gives me a range of 135 to 165. I didn't ask the definition but in my mind clinical depression is a brain chemical thing whereas grief is a mourning. Trouble sleeping so I am exhausted this morning

I would love to meet and socialize with some of the local folks on this board, don't get me wrong. I am just saying that many people already go to their surgeon's support group or, in my case, I choose to get my support online. I went to one from my surgeon's office in person (post op) meeting and decided it wasn't for me. I did attend several meetings at Overlake hospital in Bellevue pre-op and it was very helpful in me deciding to proceed with bariatric surgery however. They have a monthly (or maybe it is twice a month) with a very good leader and it is open to all. Anyway, I do agree that the only way to make something like this happen is to just DO IT because just talking about it didn't work last summer...LOL If you haven't seen this thread, you might want to post something here: http://www.bariatricpal.com/topic/284945-any-washington-state-sleevers/page-6

I also want to mention that the closer you are to a normal BMI, the harder it is to lose. Once I was under about 190, I had to REALLY work to lose more.

Heck, we weren't even able to organize a single get together of this group in the Seattle last year ...

Denise, I am taking half a dose of lexapro every other day as I notice it either puts me to sleep or jazzes me up like crazy. I am not sure this is going to work out, but I know it takes time. I am just happy that I no longer feel down in the dumps, anti social, want to stay in bed kind of thing. I don't know if I can attribute it to the lexapro or not, like I said, counselor doesn't think I am depressed at all, just grief stricken. So glad to hear about everybody - challenges, but progress in life too, right? The pounds bounce around a little, but in the end, this is a very very successful little group of sleevers! I am continually amazed and impressed and overjoyed at being able to maintain weight loss. I know I still have a very very long road, but it just finally seems possible, you know? Okay, I need fashion advice too. I am going to "try again" with dating but have found a new on-road that I think will work better.... meeting people via social events like meetups, hiking groups etc. I am very outgoing and it is easy for me to join groups like that as long as they are at least a little bit welcoming. Okay, when I go to a movie night (last Friday), or a wine tasting night (this friday!) I tend to wear jeans and a nice top. Skinny, skin tight, jeans as they are the fashion and frankly look better on me than the boot cut type i wear for horse riding. Seems like most of my tops are black and so I am trying to get a little more colorful stuff without spending a fortune so i went to Ross Dress for Less. I struggle at times since I hate looking dowdy, but i don't want to look like I am trying to be overly sexy either. I was trying on this red top, with black sheer over the shoulders. The red bodice part flares out below the waist - I think they call it a peplum style? Anyway, the red, the black, the really close fit around the boobs and waist... I was going..eh... I don't know. A lady in the dressing room said "I can tell by the look on your face you aren't sure about that top, but it looks amazing on you - buy it!". For 7.99 I took the chance, but I just want to be sure it is not in horrible taste. I will try to get a photo later. One of the problems is that in Seattle everybody wears tshirts and fleece - so few women my age actually "dress" that I feel like a weirdo already. Even so, I like looking good, so it is a balancing act. I should consider living in a city with a bit more fashion flair! ha! Oh, and I am trying to muster the fortitude to end things with Steven now, I know it is time but i have a way of hanging on to things and people way too long.... and it is hard for me. I feel like I have lost so much, I tend to hold on tight to things even if they aren't really suitable for me anymore. I care for him, but I don't really get what I used to get out of it and I am getting ready for more than he can possibly offer. I think he is ready for it to end too for his own reasons, and it would be easy for me to do it - if I could just get the words out of my mouth...lol. If I don't, I suspect he will do it soon anyway as he has become very interested in pursuing a spirtual path and at 66 is finding a physical relationship less and less alluring.... Hope everybody has a great day.

So, I am stating the obvious, but for some people massive weight loss is an emotional roller coaster and can be very vulnerable feeling. I would not want to be swimming with the sharks in that headspace.... but again, maybe I just suck at online dating but it was unbelievably disappointing for me. I started to actually think that i have a terrible personality which is weird after a lifetime of obesity when my vibrant personality and smile were the things people DID find attractive through all the fat. After sorting through the obvious liars, out of shape, no attraction type... a few times i found men I thought I would like to get to know. We would have a few dates and I would hear "there is no chemistry". I thought how strange - you want to see me often, have been telling me how beautiful, sexy, funny, charming, fun to talk to I am - and all of a sudden. no chemistry? Then it finally hit me - things weren't moving fast enough for them. what they meant to say, it has been 3-4 dates and no sex...ah ha, now I get it. Once I realized that I stopped doubting myself so much. I would not have wanted to be so vulnerable to all that while in the middle of a major transformation. It was hard enough even after I feel so confident in my looks and weight etc now.

I don't take anti depressants and I dont think I am depressed but I do at times struggle with blasts of feeling blue. I wanted to talk about it here because I am trying to understand what is happening to me and think you are all tremendous resources. What happens is that I get short lasting periods of feeling pretty down. It might last 30 minutes ....extreme case it might last a day. Weird thing is it is never triggered by bad news or some concrete clear reason but there must be some cause. My situation is getting better, not worse but I want it to be gone...lol...So I am asking for advice. I also went through a period of really bad anxiety but that is pretty much better too (ie I get infrequently anxious over things that scare me rather than unknown so I consider that normal) Counslor I sometimes see thinks it is a sign of growth. I buried alot of pain under obesity and food and now I am wrestling with"meaning of my life" type questions rather than worrying if I will fit in a chair or airplane seat. I have moved up the maslovs needs hierarchy. I think she is right because I do find myself examining my life, eliminating people and activities that are negative and adding people and things that are pleasing. Good stuff but a truckload of change. I find myself working hard to let go of my grown sons and accepting that they need to make their own mistakes (I just ask they make different ones..Haha). I find myself facing that my life is almost unrecognizable from say 5 years ago. It's only partly weight loss related much of this change is age related normal life progression and some of it is me fixing some pretty broken things (work in progress). My medical doctor thinks it is mostly hormone related. I wake up every night and somtimes have serious sleep issues. She thinks hormone things are triggering adrenal surges which is why I am sometimes wide awake for hours. that is under much better control now but I was up most of Saturday night with a tummy problem and was just depressed all day Sunday. I slept great last njght and feel great emotionally and a little better physically so it was excellent evidence that sleep deprivation can trigger the mood swing. The fact that I am sleeping better in general AND that my little blasts of the blues are reducing is also more evidence for this. A close friend is absolutely convinced it is hormonal too because of experiences with other women my age. I went through menopause in my early 40s...very young. I have always believed it was triggered by the devastating tragedy of my sister's horrible illness and eventual death. We were like twins...very bonded...and losing her lin 2007 left a hole in my life. Oddly I did not really experience menopausal symptoms until after weight loss. I think my fat was like taking hormone replacement. I don't have hot flashes but do now experience some other menopausal symptoms so it could be that this is absolutely the cause. Anyway I am not dead set against taking anti depressants except I am not depressed and I don't want to mask symptoms I want to resolve them so my remaining years are the best they can be. Would love to hear how others have experienced this. I look back and I do feel in my heart that I am getting better and more resilient as time goes on. I am less concerned with how others see me and really developing a stronger inner confidence. I hope this means that I will work through this issue too. I am not sure it is weight loss related EXCEPT I know I used to go around pretty numb much of the time and life is in Technicolor these days. It's good, it's GREAT but it's also alot if you know what I mean.

Interesting feedback from my counselor. It is so funny, I tend to see myself as so messed up and she really doesn't. What she said is that anxiety spells like I get are a learned response, neuropathways are established for my brain to react to triggers. I may not even recognize the triggers all the time, as it is seldom an "event". It comes from my traumatic childhood and I used obesity and food for decades to quiet the internal noise and that is why I wasn't really aware of the problem until post weight loss. So, the way to fix it besides the distraction techniques I use (exercise, go out with friends, do farm work etc) is to simply learn to tolerate them. In other words, the amp up happens, then use deep breathing or other exercises to manage through it. Over time, new neurophathways start forming and the brain/body finds a new response to whatever the triggers are. I am not very good at that because it is like I can't stand feeling emotionally bad. I have been successful a few times at changing the pattern like she said, but it isn't easy. Years ago, i went to an eating disorders clinic. They assessed that i didn't have an eating disorder, but rather the disordered eating where I used food as an emotional ballast. Like, things start getting dicey and I would numb myself with food. I think that is really true and i am paying the price for a lifetime of that behavior now. Not only do I not eat like that anymore, food doesn't actually numb me so it wouldn't work even if I wanted it to. It does give me a lot of hope though that this is learned behavior that i can unlearn.

I did not, but tried online dating after losing weight. It did not work for me, I hated online dating. I would get a million guys interested in me, but somehow seemed to meet mostly liars and players. The occasional nice seeming guy showed up too, but I generally did not find them attractive (frankly, too out of shape). I have shifted to meeting people through social groups, clubs etc (meetups and the like) and while I haven't found a guy yet, this is so much more satisfying - and so much less disappointing. I have met a couple of cool ladies too that who knows might become new friends. I am not cut out for online dating it seems. I would worry about entering that frustrating "Scene" while trying to be successful with weight loss. For me, the weight loss phase was very much inner focused to be the most successful I could be.

There are 3keys to that feeling of restriction. I am 28 months out, did not have one of those tiny sleeves and I weighed 143 this morning (started at 308) so I do have some expereince. 1 follow basic sleever rules of dense Proteins and veggies making up most of your intake. Trust me, chicken wrapped in lettuce is much more filling than sliders like crackers. Stay hydrated,don't drink with meals etc. 2. Eat small portions....sounds obvious but eating less at a time and getting used to eating till no longer hungry (rather than eating to be full) keeps a tighter feeling 3 eat seriously low carb. I am one of the 5:2 vets and we all do low carb as well. Carbs make me hungry. You can do this!!!!

I lost the first 100-110 or so on a "moderate carb" approach. It gets harder the closer to goal so I lost that last 50-60 pretty low carb and that is where I am maintaining too. Now that I am in maintenance, I definately have exceptions to my low carbs days, but overall it is my "lifestyle" now. For me, it works.

I luckily no longer seem to crave candy but it is a normal thing to have a little bauble... and then get back on track the next day - right on!

I was really active this weekend. It was good and I mostly kept the blues at bay. I am pretty lonely and I think it comes from so many years of being part of a really busy hive or rather several hives (work, kids at home, busy barn where my horse lived, seeing some extended family alot) and now it's quiet. I have same or more friends and fun activities I think..it is just much more isolated much of the time and I am not used to it. I am liking my weight in the low 140s but if I keep losing this fast I might call my surgeons office. It hit me that even though tremendous effort, I haven't been able to lose 8-10 in 2 weeks and maybe something physical is going on that should be checked. After our hike on Sunday I took my sons to a diner for lunch. I had a 1/4 of a sandwich and a few fries and I felt sick from overeating. I then went on a short bike ride and did hard work around my place and had no appetite for dinner but forced down a protein drink. That is not normal for me.

I challenge your basic premise. I have been hanging around awhile and perfection is not a trait I see often among the long term maintainers. Consistently living a healthy lifestyle is the key.

142..3 this qualities as the lightest I have been in my whole life - even as a teen I was never under 145. I am eating again but last night I couldn't cook for myself. I know that sounds crazy as I have cooked for myself for years but I just couldn't bear it. This is why counselor calls this rough patch grief and not depressed. Saturday I rode with a friend then went wine tasting and had a manipedi with two girlie girl friends. Spending today with both sons today....hike! Yes I am better but I recognize that I still have that lurking grief or whatever that seems at bay but not gone. I wear skinny jeans with boots in the winter and usually flats now. I think they are fun with shooties or pumps too. I have wild hair most days so I have to be a little careful to not overdo it....So depends on the setting. Sizes are so inconsistent, I wear a size 8 pants mostly but my skinnies from white house black market are baggy at size 6. You just have to try them on. They should hug your shape without causing rolls or muffin top anywhere.

144.3 and my appetite is returning to normal. This is a good place to stop. I had an incredible day Friday. It was a work holiday. I sold a saddle and a trailer in one day. Spent a bunch of time with Steven and he fixed something for me that really helped. After bandaging his wounds I treated him to lunch. We also talked alot -good day. He headed back east to do Easter with his family. Then I went to a movie with a meetup group. I tried doing stuff with meetup groups last year and felt awkward with strangers but this was a friendly nice group. I hit it off with a couple of ladies and a cute guy shared popcorn with me. We all went out after. I am going to do more of this. I have sworn off online dating but I might meet some friends via the meetup. I exchanged numbers with a fellow horse woman. It's hard to explain how much more normal I feel the last few days. Like I am functioning again. Selling that trailer was a huge event for me and I did it!

I have adopted the term that one of the plastic surgeons labeled me with - I have an athletic build. I never thought of it that way, but I do. Yes, broad shoulders and a substantial ribcage (a reason I got smallish implants) but also well defined and toned muscles come with that. Reframe this crap to something positive - who wants to think of themselves as a piece of ugly fruit! I am like zena the warrior princess baby! When I was obese I looked like an apple... or actually I think more like that fat kid in Charlie and the chocolate factory. didn't he turn into a blueberry that they had to squeeze? That is how I felt, I carried fat everywhere - my stomach especially but also my back etc.

Dr Sauceda has a rough pricing guideline on his website, but really, it is based on individual quotes he does from your photos. His quotes are good for 6 months. The reason is that everyone is different in terms of how extensive the procedures are and also they tend to give "bundle" discounts for having multiple procedures done at once. The sleeve is different -- it is a single procedure.

Florinda - I am probably the last person that should be giving advice, but in my experience focusing alot on weight and scale during times of extreme stress can be a real trigger. I know how important it is to you - I really do - but it seems like right now is the time to focus on health. Sort of reframing the situation. What I mean is that you can't really control what the scale reads and who knows when you will be on your scale again any way. what you CAN control is taking care of yourself by eating healthy, doing the things that encourage your body to heal and following the things that you know support your body fighting the symptoms of MS. I think that when the focus shifts to a more positive place, we may be less prone to that "Stress eating" that eating that is almost self punishment. I know absolutely nothing about MS, but I have a number of health issues myself (mostly muscular/skelatal in nature). Extreme things like super intense exercise aren't really always my best friend. I like intensity - I am an intense person - but I also know that I need to balance that against protecting my body. Anyway, I am thinking of you and continuing to hope you get to feeling better soon and get out of this superstressful situation ASAP.

I went to a horse related obstacle course clinic. The horses had to do some things they initially did not like. I loved the trainer's response "too bad, if you don't like it you shouldn't have been born a horse - get over it" The point being is that real life we all have sh*t we don't want to do, it isn't always fun and we need to just deal with it - our lot in life you might say. I have been wondering, especially after reading the direction this thread is taking about something. As a kid, i wasn't really allowed to have an opinion, thrown tantrums or talk back. I stuffed alot of pain (neglect, abuse etc) with food. I wonder if on some level, what i am going through is that inner need expressing itself. I have been a responsible mature adult since about age 8 and I wonder if on some level, i have some growing up to do. I wonder... I really do... if I have that childlike view at an unconscious level, that life should be wonderful. Well, life is wonderful, but just not 100% of the time... Anyway, it is a mystery to me still but I do hope that I work through it all soon as it is not alot of fun. What is strange to me is that I did not go through the emotional rollercoaster due to food deprivation during the weight loss phase - or if I did it was minor. It is quite a delayed reaction for it to show up 28 months post op, but it fits with my personality. What I mean is I learned to really "push through" hard times through my life and most likely deny some deep emotions in the process... showing up now??? Who knows.

Several of you have more experience with anti depressants etc so I am asking for ... reassurance I guess. I am on something called Escitalopram aka Lexapro. I started it Sunday, taking half a dose as part of the "ramp up". Tuesday wasn't a great day in that I had no emotional energy after my "workshop" but yesterday and today, I don't have that collapsed kind of feeling. Yesterday, I felt some restlessness building up and I was hungry so I went out to my favorite restaurant for their shrimp skewer appetizer as it was something palatable to me. I feel strongly that I needed food - and that going out helped me feel calmer and more comfortable. Anyway, I ran a few errands and I felt pretty okay. I didn't sleep great last night due to the damn dogs and cat! but I slept enough and I am alright today. in fact, I feel a little... euphoric. I am worried. Now, the reason I am so paranoid about these drugs is that after my mom died I got pretty blue and my PCP prescribed preosak. I nearly lost my mind. My family remembers it clearly - i went from the level headed business woman & mom to a stark raving lunatic that could not stop crying or moving in about 2 weeks. I am not sure if the doc prescribed the wrong dose, or whatever, but it was truly one of the scariest things that ever happened to me so I am paranoid. Anyway, my counselor told me that if I start feeling like it is too much, to skip a dose. I am not sure I have reached that. I LIKE feeling more positive. This morning I was actually smiling to myself thinking about doing some fun stuff - this is more normal for me so that was good. Flip side, I do feel a little... antsy... a little "up". If I hadn't had that horrible experience with prosak I probably wouldn't even worry about it. I hope you are all well. I am sorry for being so self centered right now, but I feel so strange, I am very preoccupied with getting my head back on straight...haha