CowgirlJane

Which forum Cathy? I thought Susan was a vet so why surgery now?

You have done great - you look amazing! I know you really want to whip those last few pounds off and I have some techniques that work if you are willing and able to do it. I am not sure it is worth it mind you as I think you look just perfect right now! I don't have a problem sharing my before pictures. I keep one in my office. I know that is contrary to what many others feel but I don't hate myself for being super morbidly obese (I looked much bigger then you did girl!). I keep it there for perspective, it is so easy to slide back.... just a few pounds, then 5, then 10 and then 100... well, it is for me anyway. I keep that photo to remind myself of what my surgeon told me. I have a disease called obesity. Right now, I have the primary symptoms under control - I am at a normal weight - but to never ever forget that metabolically, I have the attributes of an obese person. Seeing that awful looking photo of myself, not hating myself for it but rather forgiving myself for truly not understanding my health issues before I met these great bariatric surgeons - that is what I focus on. I know that many don't feel this way, but maybe because I was so terribly obese that I need to keep this in my mind. My all time highest weight was 332; my start weight for VSG was 308. This morning I clocked in at 142. It is almost incomprehensible to me at times how much I have transformed, and yet I know that it can all go back to where I was if I don't remain vigilent and focused. I have said it many times, maintenance isn't really THAT different from losing weight. I still follow the basic techniques that helped me lose all that weight.

I think you should try really hard to lose and maintain on your own before you committ to surgery. That way, when the going gets tough, you will know that you really did attempt and not have any doubts. I have lost and regained significant amounts of weight pre gastric sleeve. I never got anywhere near a normal weight and I have to say I am finding being a normal size, looking like a person who was never fat, is very motivational for me. I never found that pre gastric sleeve. Let's face it, the surgery is really just a tool, you need to make major changes in your life but I simply could not do that without the help of this tool. I know I tried my very best though... no doubts there.

It's really weird, I started feeling a little down maybe Sunday night? but just a little and what it really felt like was being a bit tired. I had tentative plans with Steven but was relieved when he cancelled them as I was pretty done in from a busy weekend and just wanted to chill - so it wasn't really feeling down, more just kinda needing to recharge. And then Monday after work I felt very very tired like I couldn't do anything. I decided to just relax even though i had a million things to do. I got a great night's sleep without taking a thing - not even melatonin - and this morning I feel pretty down. It makes no sense to me and I know the counselor is going to ask me what the trigger was and I just have no idea. It is very frustrating because it just doesn't make sense to me. Well, and I don't like feeling this way. i am not despondant or anything, just kinda blue and low motivation. Well, I have one theory. I finally got my physical therapy appointment on Monday midday and this lady is really good. I found out about a bunch of issues that I have. Maybe I just feel sad to learn my details about how beat up my body really is? I feel so young at heart and people say i look young, but those decades of obesity have taken a toll. I know it is a waste of energy to grieve that, but I think I do. Ever since that injury at the gym, it has been like a cascade of problems. My knees and back and neck have been killing me. I try to ignore it, but truth is I am not feeling that great right now physically. We are forecast to get great weather this week - like in the 80s - which should make me feel happy and upbeat as I love that kind of weather, but it doesn't. Georgia, I am so sorry about the losses. Tornados are so scary to me, I have never lived anywhere that has em. I hope you all are doing great. I have been maintaining right about 143-144 weight so i hope I can hang onto that. It feels tenuous. I don't know why, but somehow I just don't feel "strong" right now. I have been ignoring all the private messages I get, I have been avoiding negative people in my life - do you ever get that feeling like the well is just running dry?

I think this was meant for RJ. I have been blessed with no complications.

I am not trying to discourage anybody from striving toward goal, just making the point that life at goal isn't really very different and that frankly a few pounds here and there just don't matter that much in the greater scheme of life is all.

No flames here... but... trust me there are plenty of people who are repulsed by the scars from plastic surgery too. I know this because a lady in my plastics support group has been TOLD that directly. I say screw em - I lost weight and had plastics for ME. I look good clothed and while I am far from perfect naked, I know I look better than many other women my age. My guyfriend said something interesting. He said that in the dating world, regardless of extra skin or plastics scars - about 20% will be attracted; another 20% will be not attracted to you and the rest...eh.. somewhere in the middle and could go either way. You never know, maybe they are more bothered by my beauty mark (mole) on my left jaw. Who cares - I like me and I am who I am.... there are some things I can't change or fix so I will simply not worry about it. I am confident in myself and deserve to find someone who is comfortable with/accepting of and hopefully even attracted to the whole package - quite literally, scars and all.

Rj that is news to me...I had been informed that leaks are pretty much first. 6-8 weeks and the ones found a few months out are presumed to have gone undected. I was told I am not at risk for leaks anymore.

I accidentally posted a reply in the men's room due to the stupid way this site is laid out...so I know why it happens but the attitude about the veteran forum is hostile even when you try to gently remind and request. I am overwhelmed recently by private messages etc. One pre op I have replied to like 4 messages and talked to her on the phone for 30 minutes.... and now she wants more. I am beginning to really understand why many vets go into hiding

Check out page 6 of 7 on Vets forum to the thread asking if hunger returned I tried to ask very nicely for non vets to not post and I got a bitchy reply. I am ignoring but this is the kind of crap that at times makes me wonder... I reply to at least 3 private messages a week from newbies. I have done phone calls etc. And one place for vet topics and people simply cannot leave it be.

I hit goal Feb 2013 and my BMI was just over 25 at 158, but I looked and felt great. It is now April 2014 and I weigh about 142. My point? It worked for me to accept myself , Celebrate success and then keep working the sleeve in a maintenance mindset. I think letting go of perfectionism and trying some self love and acceptance is good. I was just as healthy and fine at 158 I just have a little smaller waist now but quality of life? No difference.

Oh what a wonderful photo! Looks like you two really connected. .what lovely girls you are!!!

I don't think you have full sensation until at LEAST 6 weeks out. I think the other point made that we often don't really know what "full" feels like is very valid. I had a larger sleeve according to the whole bougie size thing (I can't recall, but it was either 38 or 36) but I have just as much restriction, if not more, at 28 months than I did at say 6 months post op. I am not convinced that a tiny bougie size makes that much difference after the initial few months anyway, I think it is other factors. I could not eat what you described and if I did, i would have a very very sad feeling tummy. Part of that is because when you consistently eat healthier food your body tends to get a little upset over junky food (tummy aches, diarrea etc). I am not judging, we ALL have or had food issues and struggles. For me, it was so important to succeed for the sake of my health and quality of life that I was pretty determined to do my very very very best. That meant at times making mistakes and then trying to do better the next time. It is not a mystery how I do it.... -I consistently stop eating before any feeling of "full" - I eat until no longer hungry and that is IT - STOP. Took awhile to learn it, but I worked on it from day 1 and I believe that small portion sizes day in and day out is why I feel pretty good restriction now -I use Water and hydration techniques. So really load up with water say 2-3 hours after eating when your tummy is empty. Let it go dry - wait say 30 minutes since a dry tummy gets full feeling faster -Dense Protein, dense protein and some veggies. I really don't eat sliders or other foods that go down too easy. I am sure I could eat a whole box of crackers for example so I just don't buy them. -I don't eat fast food. That is one of those topics that for me, it is just easier to not be in those places if I can at all avoid it. I have created a mental picture of that - not as deprivation but of providing the best nourishment to myself that I can. -I eat very low carb. For me, carbs make me hungry. Absence of high carb food (bread, Pasta, rice, Beans etc etc) helps keep my appetite in check -I eat slow, but not too slow. What I mean by that is I don't let myself graze and eat all day long, but I eat slow enough for my brain to catch up that I have had enough. I think you should discuss with your surgeon and nutritionalist. EAch of us only know our own stories and while we feel like experts - in truth, we only know our own experience. I think a professional is in a much better position to advise you and get you on the right track. Good luck!

I feel the same way, and I am not even sure why it is such a pet peeve. It guess we tend to be sorta okay with the replies by non vets, and it seems like when you even mention the "rules" people get a little huffy. What they don't seem to understand is that if vets don't have a place... they fade away. At least when newbies start threads - they need to be moved and that helps some. Back in my lapband days the vets forums (it was a yahoo group then) were always hidden to stop this kind of thing. Oh yeah, and if i had read just how many problems people a year out where having I would have never been banded so it is a public service that a vets forum is for general viewing.

Yes, I had a very large belly - apple shape. I did have extra belly skin that was easily hidden with spanx/shapewear before I had plastics. The main thing that bothered me is that the skin would sorta sit on my lap when bike or horseback riding. In clothes, with spanx, it wasn't bad though and I lost 160; or more like 180 from my highest weight. There are alot of factors that go into "just how bad" the extra skin is. My advice to anyone is not borrow trouble from the future - stay focused on the weight loss and health improvements - and worry about excess skin later.

My situation was different because I had a high visibility job and an outgoing personality even when i was obese. However, I was "sexually invisible" meaning not really feminine or ever portrayed myself as the least bit attractive. It probably doesn't matter what came first - the obesity or the invisibility - but now is the time to face it as you are wisely doing. When I was young, I regained weight after reaching goal because I could not deal with the attention. I would fear regain if I had those sort of emotions now. I am seeing a counselor and she has said a few very helpful things. One of them is to remind me that there were times in my life that I was very vulnerable, I did have reasons to be frightened/hiding/etc but that isn't the case anymore. This is growth, to find a new way of thinking and feeling that fits your current life, not how things used to be. I am strong, independent and don't need to hide or minimize myself anymore.

Well, I somewhat unwittingly conducted an experiment. A few months after getting to goal I started seeing someone who has always been super fit/athlete type. We didn't discuss it much, but he was not someone who dated or was attracted to plus size women. Well, I warned him about the skin as I was very paranoid I guess and in truth I still felt kinda fat (mostly due to the extra skin, but I was also about 15-18 pounds heavier than I am now). He told me later that I made way too big of a deal out of the loose skin - that the reality was not THAT bad. Down the road, I decided to do plastics which he was basically against (although not actively trying to talk me out of it, just thought it wasn't really needed). Then, when I had the plastics, he was like WOW. So, I think my experiment proves PDX point - pretty happy just to get you nekkid and it's all a bonus from there. Women worry way way too much about this crap. I once saw a funny on Facebook that said: "women will never attain true equality with men until they can walk down the street bald and with a big beer belly and actually think they are hot stuff"

I want to go to the UK as a tourist but I may need to take English lessons first. Confession on something here - I never really thought that losing a few more pounds would make a difference, but based on reaction of people around me, I would say it does. I felt like I looked fine before, but being down another 8-10# just gets rid of a little extra around the waist or something. I am not sure how hard this will be to maintain since i didn't lose it in a normal way. I am eating again and keep expecting the pounds to inch back on, but we shall see. I had a bit of an emotionally stressful day yesterday but i am hanging in there. Wondering how everybody is doing and hope you have a good weekend!

Hey GG - long time no talk. Looks like you are doing awesome!!!

It is pretty normal. I wasn't even on solid food at 4 weeks. I would say it took me until more like 6-8 weeks out before I felt better. Then, I had months of just zero interest in food - like eating was a chore. That is what helped me lose over 150#. It does get better in time, I am over 2 years out now and feel great and have for a long time. You will get more input and feedback if you post this in a separate thread in the post surgery forum though! Hang in there.

This was a surprise. I used to go every 4 months for a teeth cleaning as I had the early signs of peridontal disease. I guess I got so focused on plastics that I sorta got off track and haven't been in a year. i went yesterday, and they declared my gums much improved, I am now on a normal 2X a year cleaning. I thought that was so strange given the situation - I was expecting bad, not good news. The hygenist mentioned that overall health improvements often bring about improved gum health. Anyone else experience this unexpected NSV?

A little regain is a fairly normal part of the process. I advise you to NOT beat yourself (that sounds like OLD destructive patterns!) and instead come up with an action plan (which you are doing) and just DO IT! One of my eye openers over the last few years is that even skinny people have to work at weight management - especially after about age 40. You know what, they don't think they failed cuz they had a little bounce - they just do something about it! Hang in there, think positive and stop the self loathing - you have not failed, you are simply needing a little tune up right now.

I picked other because you did not really have a "positive" choice to vote for. i never get sick, I can always find something and I am very comfortable eating at restaurants - I enjoy the social aspects and the ambiance. If I am with my sons, i usually take a small portion off their plates. If I am out with friends, or a date or something, I eat off the appetizer menu. Shrimp skewer, for example, is the perfect bariatric meal. I am 28 months post op, I didn't really go to restaurants too much during the weight loss phase. I never feel like anybody looks at me weird or any of that. I think that since I am now "small" people accept it, when I was obese, i probably got more "looks" but again I didn't do alot of restaurant meals during the loss phase.

Butter chicken is mild, but I would also ask for recommendations when you order. In spite of the name, Butter chicken is actually one of the healthier Indian dishes...LOL. That stuff is not diet food..haha. I like the flavors of Indian food very much but can't handle much heat either. The stars thing help, but sometimes the base dish is spicy so even though you order it as a 1-2 star, it can still be spicy. I think it was vindiloo that happened to me with - anyway there are mild dishes that are quite delish. I personally despise most chinese food because it is greasy and has MSG or something that makes me feel gross. I do love a good dim sum place though! I have been eating at restaurants a lot the last few weeks because it seems like it helps my appetite. I feel like i am eating pretty normally now so expect the weight loss to stop. I am not sure if I will be able to maintain at 141-142 range but would like to stay under 145 if I can. It surprised me how much these last few vanity pounds seem to make a difference, i can't see it but people around me are definately telling me they see it. I luckily didn't lose more off my butt. I can't find my tape measure, but I think I finally lost some off the waist etc where I actually need to lose it! Jeans I wore all last summer have a huge gap in the waist now which is great. I am feeling better... I think. Cautious optimism continues...

Realself.com is a great place to read reviews and see before and after photos.