CowgirlJane

FWIW, I wouldn't date while feeling blue. Even if a great guy showed up, you might not be in the right headspace to enjoy it. I have access to different types of men - urban, outdoorsman,culture vultures, car guys, Harley guys, sports nuts , golfers etc. - all that. For me, I don't worry too much that we like doing the same things 100percent because I am pretty busy. This probably sounds odd, but my attraction is more based on can we talk endlessly and when we do stuff together enjoy each other's company. I am into horses, dogs, town festivals, culture, hiking, wine tastings, live music, dancing, beach, mountains but not like a triathlete..Haha. I seldom encounter a man whose interests overlap much with mine but it works. The main showstopper for me is guys who don't seem to have any real passion - kind of checked out. I've tried that and I get bored. I also get bored if they aren't intelligent,outgoing,verbal, interesting and active. The details are negotiable. I'd rather be with a hunter/outdoorsman (even though I won't participate in most of it) than a dude who does basically nothing because I need someone who is more "on fire" than that. I guess I need passion in a match, passion for life. I figure I have girlfriends to do my stuff with...and meetups or specific activity partners for things like hiking or live music. Michael has a plan to have me actually golfing by the end of summer. I was kind of excited to hear that as I really want to learn, but he is above average golfer so wonder if he'll really have the patience! He has been an athlete his whole life, is politically conservative, gambles - none of those match me, but we get along well, I am very attracted to him, he is fun and a little zany...we can talk forever, even on touchy subjects (politics,religion,death penalty,abortion) and that is such a rare thing. Sent from my KFJWI using the BariatricPal App

Salmon pattiesFish fillets or chicken individual flash frozen and ready to pop in oven Greek yogurt Sandwich meat costco and trader joes have lots of "convenience" foods that are high protein and low carb and limited fillers etc. Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I337 using the BariatricPal App

@@Kindle It is worth trying. I think it is one of the better tolerted drugs out there! Not everyone is as sensitive as I am - but the good news is that once you adjusted to it, the negatives seem to go away. Here is another example of my impulsive thing.... I was remodeling my house last year and trying to decide about countertops. During the middle of my work day, for no particular reason - I got in my car and drove over an hour to go to granite showroom to look at granite. I finished the errand and realized I had done something inappropriate and way out of character. No harm done really, but it was kind of an eye opener. So what i did was pause and think before doing ANYTHING. That issue did go away - it was all temporary. I can't emphasis enough that it has been very useful, the initial rampup was about a month and most people aren't as sensitve as I am. I suspect that people who are prone to ancxiety are more likely to get "wound up" on this drug at first. I can't exlain why I cant tolerate the theupetic dose or why my half dose works... but it does.

There are a couple of successful long term veggie sleevers on this site that can offer insight. I am afraid if I tried to give up meat, my primary source of dense Protein, I would regain. @@Oregondaisy @@feedyoureye any suggestions??

While I agree with @@glitter eyes, I personally think it is a mistake to eat just one meal a day. My reason is that it seems hard to get enough nutrition without kinda stuffing yourself. I eat 4-6 times a day, petite portions of dense Protein followed by salad, veggies and some fun stuff (carbs). I wouldn't try eating a bagel and cream cheese 4 years out because it wouldn't fit my daily plan.... I am quite sure I could stuff it in, but I try to eat small and frequently as just a habit. I don't think my stomach is stretched, but I definately have more capacity. If I continually "eat small" and start with that dense protein, I have the sensation of "restriction" whereas if I eat sliders I don't. I like to eat so I need that feeling of restriction to help me maintain my weight loss. I know it sounds preachy, but it was my personal experience that this all gets much harder around the 3 year post op mark, so those habits that are established early help you alot when you suddenly DO have much more capacity and perhaps old temptations become harder to resist. I don't know why, but I have noticed for myself, and several others on the forum that 3 years is about when it becomes more difficult to feel restricted.

know thyself. I got a bottle of Baileys for christmas. My christmas eve dinner party ended with us each having a small bit on ice. It has been in my cabinet since... haven't even thought about it until now. A week ago, I bought a container of choc chip mint ice cream. I ate a 1/2 cup a day until it was gone - I measured.. I couldn't forget it, the siren's call was so strong it was all I could do to keep from eating until I felt sick which is why I put it in these tiny 1/2 cup serving dish and forced myself to not heap it. I should have thrown it away. So, for me, clearly ice cream is something I probably can't manage all that well as it is an old trigger (I don't even like it THAT much but it just seems to call my name!) whereas a bottle of spirits has it's time and place and I don't have white knuckle it to ignore it whilst under my roof. They are both empty calories, there are clearly healthier foods and drinks to consume, but one calls my name and the other doesn't. I guess I have a problem with the one size fits all approach and I while I do agree that addictions can be a real problem, and should be considered - it seems like it is an overgeneralization to say that people in maintenance should "never" do ...fill in the blank... We need to know ourselves and how to balance a healthier lifestyle against things we enjoy or find fun. I know several cigarette smokers - talk about something useless and harmful to consume!! Why aren't we ranting about THAT?!?

Hi everyone! How are you all doing? Spring has sprung around here - I did my first horseback ride since December! I did an hour long walk with doggies too - I was exhausted! I could barely lift my saddle. My conclusion is that 3 months of laying around has made me quite weak, no endurance - but at least my life is returning to normal. I made a big mistake buying a container of ice cream about a week ago. It was an impulse buy and I have of course eaten it myself as my sons buy their own junk food. I need to learn the lesson that I have no control with certain foods and just can't have them in the house. I want to weigh 10# less and I bet I would if I would just cut out these occasional de-railments (Easter candy!) and wine. sigh. As I said, I am pleased with my current weight, even though I would like to be a bit lighter.... mostly I don't like the icky feeling I get from ice cream and junk food. Life is better when I completely abstain. Do you all ever read the "articles" on this website? I keep getting sucked in and most of them aren't very good. They have this pscycologist writing a bunch now and I feel like she has a personal agenda... curious what you all think.

I am not denying that alcohol can be a problem - it hits you much harder post WLS. At 4 years out though, I consider social drinking as one of my lifestyle balancing acts. I don't need the empty calories, very true, but I am maintaining at goal, have healthy blood work, healthy liver (had scan done due to stones so could see my liver looked good per the doctors) and as mentioned above, much prefer my few times a month happy hour with the girls or wine on a dinner date over dessert etc. It is a balancing act and we all need to take responsibility for how we choose to "balance" and seek help when it becomes a problem... or if health, lifestyle, family, friends etc are impacted. Honestly, I am more likely to binge on ice cream so THAT is something I need to have pretty much abstince on.

My sympathies to you..these losses are so difficult. I have some personal experiences with both the losses and the meds. I struggle with anxiety. It was invisible to me until I lost weight (apparently overeating was a successful self medication). I worked hard to use behavior techniques and"brute force" through trying to control it. I finally agreed to try lexapro. It worked so well, but about two months into it, I realized it was giving me flu symptoms! So I had to go off it. I tried again to "will away" my anxiety but some health problems triggered a reoccurance. Last year I went on 150mg of wellbutrin, which is considered a subclincial dose. I was warned the ramp up could be very difficult so I started very slow...actually with 50mg and took weeks before I got to 150. It made me feel like I was on speed and had a short term uptiick inanxiety and a short term reduction of hunger. I became a bit impulsive....told someone off that I would never have done prewellbutrin. This is a powerful drug and if you are sensitive it will make you feel crazy for awhile. Eventually, I got stable on my 150mg, but I have to take it at 6am, or I can't sleep. I have a massive improvement in anxiety now. I made it through a surgery, surgical complication, ER visit #1 due to my surgical infection, then ER visit #2 due to kidney stone and then surgical procedure for stone blasting - ALL WITHOUT EXCESSIVE ANXIETY!!! Its been life changing. To no longer feel that gnawing underlying anxiety waiting to rear it's ugly head. Life is better not having to fight this beast all by myself. I am confident I will wean off it because I believe it has helped me change those brain pathways that led to excess anxiety. I have never been able to get to the therapeutic dose of 300-450 as I get numbness, tingling and crazy feeling everytime i try to slowly increase the dose. I have decided that I am just very sensitive and the low dose is working just fine, so staying here for now. If you go on it, recognize that the first few weeks can be hellish, and watch for impulse control. Then once your system has adjusted, those won't be problems. I am grateful for a provider who recognizes and believes me that these "brain drugs" hit me hard and my side effects are real. You won't gain weight though! Sent from my KFJWI using the BariatricPal App

Welcome. I didn't manage my band all that well either (ignorance) so kudos to you for getting back on track. Sent from my KFJWI using the BariatricPal App

If it's working, it doesn't need fixing. We each can only share our individual experiences, and mine included "how to fail with WLS without really trying" and if someone asks for feedback, I share my story. There are too many people who don't get to their goal or regain later. I did both of those things with the band and I learned my lesson. It sounds like I eat boring, but that isn't true at all -I eat wonderfully delish food, high quality...but not alot of Cookies and stuff like that. I personally experienced significant increase in hunger 2-3 years post sleeve and I think those good habits helped me maintain through all that. But,I am only an expert on ME, so take all for what it's worth. Sent from my KFJWI using the BariatricPal App

I use a crockpot a few times a month, this looks very interesting. We also have a cruddy old rice cooker that has been a reliable appliance and it seems this would replace both. Any tips on which features are important? I saw on amazon they have one that is bluetooth enabled... i have a hard time fathoming that I would use my phone to cook dinner... so I think I will pass on that... unless it can go shopping and load the pot up too...haha!

Please take my comments as wanting you to enjoy maximum success. I failed with a lapband..partly not understanding how to eat. I found much success with the sleeve, losing 150# in 14 months (and maintaining for years now), but I had to understand how to do this. In the early months I strongly encourage you to eat dense,lean protein(fish, chicken, beef, other seafood etc.) As your main food each meal. Eat it slowly, chew carefully. You will get full really fast! It takes a small quantity! Then have a few bites of healthy veggies. My program called for doing that 5x a day. If you are mostly compliant with that you will have long term success. I am now four years out and I do sometimes"splurge" but it is in a controlled, not daily kind of thing. During the losing phase, following the bariatric recommendations most of the time is really important. Good luck, I do know it's difficult and most of us aren't perfect...but being consistently compliant is key. Sent from my KFJWI using the BariatricPal App

My own personal experience, is that I needed to shift from dieting mode... to healthy lifestyle mode. I also find these kind of competitions to be toxic...

@@rnsamantha I have a follow up question. Lemon Water seems alot better from a flushing my system point of view, but nI like crystal light better! I noticed that the other flavors have citric acid as the #1 ingredient too (I have raspberry lemonade) - so will other flavors be effective? I sometimes find the lemonade a bit sour for my liking and it can make my stomach feel a little acidy, whereas the lemon water does not. Even so, i like the crystal light taste and convenience. Also, from a "dosing" point of view, how much lemonade or sliced lemons in water is recommended? My doc said at least 2 liters of water per day. I have been doing 2 liters of water with sliced lemon plus other beverages as normal but it sounds like your urology practice is recommending even more. I am quite motivated to prevent going through that hell again!

My weight is"ok" -I am at 156, under goal but about 10# over where I want to be. I have to admit, it is a positive affirmation to date men who think I look like a goddess the way I am. It is hard when everyone around me is so much smaller. I continually remind myself that I have a big frame/big build and nothing will change that. In my youth I was very hurt by remarks about having wide shoulders - built like a football player (American football). I have recently recieved compliments on how atttractive my arms and shoulders are (wearing a top that shows some shoulder skin, but no cleavage). I am trying to form new "tapes" in my head about how my appearance is perceived. As a girl, it seemed the whole universe expected females to be waiflike (remember the heroin chic look??) and I know that just isn't true - even though it was pounded into my brain that I was always too big. Michael brought up out of the blue that he is attracted to alot of different"types" as long as they are fit AND have curves. He told me skinny women are a turnoff. It shouldn't matter what another person thinks, but I am trying to use that messaging to just kill, once and for all, those inner negative messages. I know I am not fat, and and I don't really look great skinny (did that in 2014 by accident) -just accepting , no embracing, the wonderful assets God graced me with is the challenge of 2016.

It's really hard. I had the band for 10 years and except for the first few months, my physical hunger was never under control. One thing I learned as a sleever that I didn't know then is that eating low carb - especially eliminating that quick sugars (junk food, fruit juice, fruits) helped so much with hunger. I think it can help with head hunger too, because honestly I can't always tell the difference. Good luck with whatever you decide.

Thanks for the info. I managed to capture like 5 grains of sand after the pulverizing procedure. I am going to bring it to doc for analysis but I wonder if there is enough to evaluate. Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I337 using the BariatricPal App

Sorry, this site and kindle dont play well so my first post is blind...more in reply.

Oh, and I love clothes. Especially dresses and shoes...but I love fashion and never cared a hoot about it even I was obese. My latest obsession is fit and flare dresses, especially those with a slight vintage/1950s vibe. Sent from my KFJWI using the BariatricPal App

So, I am a middle aged woman and definitely have a drop in hormones. My libido has dropped some but not alot. So, what I will share is that with the hormone drop my girl parts can get...uncomfortable. I found topical hormone treatments helps build back that"thin tissue" and it is very low risk Healthwise (much lower hormone level than pills). The other comment, and it may not apply to anyone posting here...but there are things a man can do that drives me wild with anticipation. The mental part of it becomes even more interesting and important as I have aged. I feel as though I have ready overshared...so will stop now. Sent from my KFJWI using the BariatricPal App

It does often happen but it doesn't have to. I am above my lowest weight but under goal 4 years out. It CAN be done but takes diligence and willingness to start over and over every time you get off track. It is the story for the rest of our lives. Sent from my KFJWI using the BariatricPal App

Never heard of such a thing. It might be better to research actual data across populations on a site like medline. Horror stories do happen, but not to most of us. Sent from my KFJWI using the BariatricPal App

Cathy I would love to visit the UK someday..your mention of Scotland reminded me. I need to pick your brain to make Plans. I would do this as a solo adventure and think it would be pretty fun! Sorry you are depressed Denise. What has you down? On the bright side, your back is better, spring is here, you have great kids and grandkids! Honestly if it were me, I'd move closer to them. I am such a social creature I fear I'd die of loneliness if I didn't see them and my pals constantly. I will send you a message when I have more time about my dating experiment. It worked really well, but don't know if it will where you live. Michael is super fun. I don't think he is going to be a life partner, but I think he is going to become a good boyfriend. We don't have lots in common except our basic personalities and intelligent conversation passion. He mentioned that he loved how I mingled and talked to everyone at Easter. I hit it off with the people there and genuinely enjoyed it. He taught us how to play craps (gambling game) and he is very entertaining. Steven 2.0, only less "out there". Truth is, I have a strong personality and just do better with strong men...even if he is another one of those crazy right wingers. We actually had in depth chats about death penalty, abortion etc without anyone getting all pissed off. It was great! Sent from my KFJWI using the BariatricPal App

Okay, i am a person that has had HUGE success with the sleeve - I am a sleever believer! However, in your situation, i would keep trying to manage it by lifestyle alone. seriously, weight loss surgery is a life altering decision. forever, I am at higher risk of stomache ulcers, GERD etc - I don't have those things but it could still happen even 4 years post op. I recently had a medical problem that would have been alot better if I could have taken maximum dose of NSAIDs - instead I cautiously took a small dose once a day. WLS is much safer than morbid obesity, but it has risks and long term consequences. This is just one persons opinion - there probably isn't a "right or wrong" answer.