CowgirlJane

Sorry... I can't see what I type on new threads started on my kindle...So have to reply to my own post to actually share anything! I am an outgoing person...will talk to anyone anywhere kinda woman . I dont mean to brag, but I have received very positive feedback about my looks since losing weight from both men and other women. So.... I keep wondering why nobody asks me out..Haha. seriously I have been thinking about this and one major factor is that I suck at flirting and tend to not even recognize when a man is flirting with me. I can come up with several examples of a complete stranger talking to me about my horse, my truck or my car or something...and 3 days later, I think to myself..."hey, I wonder if he was interested in ME?" many missed opportunities to perhaps get a date or at least an ego boost I am sure this is a self defense mechanism from a lifetime of obesity. So today...drumroll please...I didn't suck! I went on a long ride with friends and two of us met for a late lunch/early dinner afterwards. We park our truck and trailer with horses inside while we eat. As I returned to my rig, I walked by a guy with a boat hitched to his truck and he said "is that your horse?" The cowboy boots might have been a clue. I nodded and he went on to say, I hope you dont mind I peeked in on her...beautful palomino (a horse color term). I thanked him for the compliment and was walking away when he talked about his ex girlfriend being into horses and that he wasn't into them but respected the hobby. He then started telling me about his passions, talked about my truck etc....and the wheels started turning...maybe he wants to talk to me. So, I engaged in a great conversation about many subjects. I can turn on the charm... He then told me his friend helped him pull the boat out of moorage for the summer and was inside buying bandages for a slight injury....friend shows up and he's a real firecracker.... He got into the truck to bandage his wounds and made the occasional funny remark like.. "Did K mention he owns an airplane?" A minute later he says... "and he has a barn...but sadly no horses in it" . Oh and later he says "k is actually single too". He was being funny but it definitely helped the clueless (me) get a hint. So a few minutes later it was feeling like our conversation was wrapping up...normally I would have wished him a good evening and drove off....but instead I said "I'd like to talk to you more". So he asked for my number! Now the important part is not whether he calls or not..important thing is that I read the signs and gave him an opening! I usually put up a polite wall and it is no wonder nobody asks for my number or asks me out. This is major skill development for me. I have been practicing that sort of social e engagement with other women and have made some new friends but this is the first time I have successfully expressed interest in a complete stranger. Woohoo!

My sleep apnea doc referred me to a surgeon associated with the same "group" at a local hospital. I started the process of band to RNY revision as that surgeon was not a sleeve advocate and barely mentioned it as an option. for reasons I can't really articulate, I just couldn't do it. I was very emotional, distressed, cried alot and just felt like such a failure with the band. I felt I would fail again and that surgeon's program did nothing to make me feel any better. I saw an ad for non surgical weight loss - a 2 year committment. Out of desparation I called them and luckily the director of the program answered my call. After a brief consult, she told me I was not suited for the non surgical program and based on my history, she strongly recommented WLS. I told her no thanks.. but she convinced me to meet with surgeons at Puget Sound Surgical who are big sleeve advocates and have a very comprehensive program. I was still scared and full of fear of failure, but somehow their program just clicked with me. I still believe that for some of us, the total package - the nutritionalists, nurses and other support structure is one of the keys to success beyond the surgeons. I also found alot of compassion and understanding AND education on obesity there - from the surgeons and the whole team. The pieces came together, although I still did some kicking and fighting. They insisted my slipped band HAD TO GO. so I did that. Then I was so incredibly hungry with the band gone. I was already over 300# and realized I was going to just start gaining. Then my insurance was switching as of Jan 1 - to specifically exclude the sleeve.... so more than a year after my sleep doctor sent me out seeking weight loss surgery ... i was finally sleeved Dec 11, 2011. My only regret is not doing it sooner... I have had unbelievable success and am now at a normal BMI, single digit clothing size etc.

I had lapband caused reflux... and knew this risk going into this the sleeve. Reflux is a major risk factor for the sleeve, so i would absolutely talk to him about it. I am 3 years out... and no reflux (after my first few weeks which was controlled well by PPI), for me getting rid of the lapband was the cure. It is very much an individual situation, but he should know! Also, I think best practice is to take a good PPI in the early weeks/months post surgery to give the tummy a chance to "quiet down". I am astounded by the number of people who are suffering from reflux in those early reflux due to poor education by their surgeons.

My advice - don't worry about plastics yet. When you get there, go out to realself.com and read actual customer reviews and their photos. Surgeons tend to "cherry pick" their before and afters...it is good to get the real deal from patients. Consult with at least 3 surgeons.. I was truly shocked at how much their recommendations varied.. it was very educational.

Well I have kind of big news. I am seeing Steven again.... what's changed? Well, we are starting over. He is considerably older and didn't want to hold me back from finding someone....Well, I have hated dating men in my age range and don't like meeting people online - and told him I was gonna go cougar next. I have decided too many men my age have emotional and physical issues that prevent them from being what I seek in a boyfriend. He has a group of pals in the 50-60 age range and told me only one of them (besides Steven) is still interested in sex. That fits my personal experience granted a small sample size. My counselor told me that I need a latin lover...this isn't just about sex, it is about passion and emotion. Well, a man from Ecuador got me started swing dancing and asked me out (met him through the meetup) and wouldn't you know...he is Mormon...and of course younger than me. I meet younger men in real life because I act younger...online, only the 55plus crowd is interested. To each his own, but I don't want a morman boyfriend. I am going through a "going out" phase right now after decades of being a homebody so that would not be a good fit. Do you ever feel like the universe is sending you a message? I was actually reaching the point of just giving up on anything resembling a relationship. So I told Steven that he better mean it because this time real feelings are involved but so far I am happy. He can be very flakey and we spent weeks discussing sort of the chain of events that leads to that. I hope that the time we spent really talking about our emotional triggers etc pays off. Also, we discussed the reality that passionate relationships come with some negative passion too...and we both decided we are on board for the whole package....since it beats the alternative of being with an emotionally detached person. I am probably crazy for doing this but I feel so alive, beautiful and like a sexy woman with him. I also enjoy our talks and stuff. This could all blow up too, but at least I am enjoying it in the meantime. He is not the least bit jealous so is great with me continuing stuff with my meetup friends and actually wants to join a few events. On another note, I am working on a Halloween costume. I never went to Halloween parties dressed up..always felt too fat. Now I am so excited to go! My costume isn't working out quite right yet but I need accessories! I am doing the warrior princess thing (think Xena etc) but the twist is...fresh from battle with a few flesh wounds and fresh blood of my slain enemy...creepy!

I believe in telling too. It leads to the weight loss discussion. I prefer to not discuss the sleeve surgery because that was 3 years ago and considerably less relevant but knowing that I lost alot of weight a few years ago actually seems to be something admired. The last man I dated told me it was a positive thing about me, that I had accomplished so much and maintaining. I tend to bring it up early on in dating.. well before intimacy. I had an arm lift so I start there. So far nobody has been freaked out about the scars...out of my small sample. Didn't turn into physical relationship for other reasons.

There are a bunch of dance places and century ballroom is the place in Seattle...too far for me. I started swing dance classes already and intend to try others.

However I am maintaining a very large weight loss post sleeve. ..so things are possible! !

I would want to know the reason. I am suspicious of the whole ring or band over sleeve thing. Ask alot of questions. .. In geneeal (not about OP) You plain and simple have less restriction with the sleeve It takes an adjustment in mindset and one reason revisions don't lose as well as they tolerate that full esophagus feeling. .

I used to try to bake weird/faked out stuff and came to the conclusion that they never really satisfy me anyway. Back during the low fat craze it was substitute applesauce for the fat/oil... great idea, but if I eat 3 of them I have still consumed enormous carbs and calories... sigh. My strategy now is if I want bread or potato - I just eat it. I just don't make it part of my daily routine. Florinda, meaning to ask you where you do your tango and how you got started on that? Me and the boys did our first swing dance class last night. It was fun, but hard. Like I have been going dancing alot and a few of the guys know a little bit so I am out there dancing and it looks okay to people who don't know dance... but you add the foot work in...it gets hard! Gee I have been hungry lately. I am doing good, but pretty busy, not sure if that is creating hunger... or more likely the cooler weather and shorter days... Sunny and nice right now though!

I waited almost 3 months. This seems like surgeons make this decision based on their gut feeling since I have seen no research that indicates the "ideal" waiting time or that it is even better than one surgery.

In early weeks... eat by the measuring spoon. Your nerves were cut and don't trust feedback from the stomach just yet. Later, say 6 weeks + eat until no longer hungry. Do NOT seek "full". I truly believe that developing that habit is one of the keys to long term success.

Oh... forgot to share. I worked out this morning..ooh.lala. I used to do this quite regularly but now rely on horses, dancing and hiking to keep me fit. Fall has fallen so time to hit organized exercise again.

I lost over 160# with the sleeve after terrible results with the band. I am a sleever believer but that list is completely unrealistic.

Kelly - great pix - you are adorbable! Glad you had a great time. Kim- that sounds like a great weekend. I had a fun, music filled weekend and then had a horsey day, so all was great. I am off the lexapro and admit to feeling a little blah. Lots of people feel blah on a cloudy monday so i am not letting it get to me. I decided to not do 5:2 right now since going off meds, but have been watching my diet a little closer. I am down 1/2 pounds since a week ago, which is pretty meaningless but... at least I am not UP! I am thinking about halloween costumes... suitable for going to parties/dancing in. I would like to use something out of my closet and do makeup... ideas? I have been thinking about cat woman ( buy the mask/ears I guess) but that seems overdone.

I did not reread the whole thread but I want to share my experience after losing 1/2 my body weight. My first plastics consult was....unreal humiliation. I was shell shocked much like you describe. I had 3-4 consults in my home town and then with Dr Sauceda in Mexico. By that time I was over it and his consult felt loving and comfortable. My friend was with me and felt horrible about it. Reminded me about the initial sting. In USA I would just expect to pay my own so the coverage issue is different.

Be kind to yourself. You know how important it is to comply and you messed up. I see two choices, learn from it, be thank full you didn't cause injury and persevere. You cannot change the past but you can make the right choices today. Option two is to get caught in the guilt shame cycle and overeat again to cope with that. Hang in there, it does get easier.

So I have been going dancing alot with a meetup group last few months. I don't know how but love the music so just do the freestyle thing. A couple of guys know how to swing dance and have been teaching me a little. Not really the footwork but more how to follow. At first it was so embarrassing I felt awkward and oddly..It made me feel like I used to feel when obese..like people might be looking at me. Anyway one of them told me that it was his job to make me look good and that helped. I have danced with him alot and last night I felt like "I get it"'''shifted from awkward to fun. A couple of others in the group commented that I was a good dancer which made me feel good. She also told me people look at me because I am hot..lol. I still get teased about my Pat Benatar look (we did an 80s night a few months back). So my youngest son and I went to an awesome music show Friday night (his choosing) we had cheap seats where everybody was swing dancing. He wouldn't try it but had fun. So last night he joined me with the meetup. W. who has been teaching me convinced him every young man should learn to dance! So starting wed night...My 2 sons and a girlfriend are signed up for an east coast swing class....woohoo!

Oh and today I was shopping at Nordstroms and the clerk said that she loved my outfit and how I was "put together" (ha from Ross Dress for Less) and nobody said that before even if I was dressed to the nines.

Most of my goals were non scale. I freaking kick most people (dudes included) butt hiking. No high or borderline blood pressure, my A1C (diabetics indicator) is excellent. My doc is younger than me and says she wishes her labs were as good as mine.

I advise perusing before and after photos from those who have gone before you..makes for sweet dreams.

The hardest thing the first month is proper hydration. Even mild dehydration can make you feel like death warmed over. Sip sIP sip...and patience.

I cried and was depressed for days after my initial plastics consult. It was awful. I had several more and kind of got over being treated like a side of beef... By the time I went to Dr Sauceda I knew the drill. My dear friend was horrified..like how could he be so mean? ,He was the kindest of the lot but she didn't know what it was like to be prodded and your skin pulled around and reminded of flaws you didn't know you had. My heart is breaking for you but I know in the end it is so worth it! ,insurance didn't pay any of mine but I would advise chilling fora awhile.

Kudos to you..half way to goal and haven't even had surgery yet!!!

That is an abomination!