CowgirlJane

Let's admit Lynda and just look for future people as they come along. I do not support Lisa joining. I am trying to be supportive but she is hostile to most input frankly.

Protein and zinc and good luck are the 3 things that most minimize hair loss. I have uber curly fine hair- Caucasian but doubtful that has much impact. Words of encouragement. .. a little hairloss was a minor hassle compared to obesity. It is SO worth it.

You are a beautiful woman..in spirit and looks. Love yourself, keep on keeping on. Offer still stands to talk about specific habit because I too became a coffee junky.

We can all relate. I am under goal but feel big compared to where I was. Now is the time to fix it but don't be all negative like "I am huge". We have spent a lot of years beating ourselves up over weight and food. I say it us time to stop that emotional punishment and just "git er done"

Went to "christmas story" the musical on Saturday night. I had bought 4 tickets - for me, my two son's and oldest son's long term girlfriend. well, they broke up and oldest spend the weekend in portland so it was me, my youngest son, one of my girlpals and Kevin. Yes, bold move, Kevin met one of the kiddos. We had a great time. It was a very well done musical at the beautiful 5th Avenue theater. I had some ups and downs, my weight is up but still under goal. Have had a bit of emotions over some stuff which I am recognizing as "unexamined inner life" or feelings things. It is all good though. Things are going great with Kevin. We are a bit smitten with each other which is fun... but i am starting to have that ...gulp... feeling like "don't get too attached". I have been thinking about why I feel that way and realize that was such a huge appeal of my friend Steven. He never wanted a damn thing from me, and when you start moving into relationship mode with normal people... they expect and want things from you. I have spent a lifetime giving and doing things for other people and it is something I gravitate to and want to do, but i think I have a certain fear about it too. Like "here we go again". BTW, Kevin is a very reasonable person - I just mean he like wants to spend time with me, meet my people - you know normal stuff. He wants to find someone to love; like most of us. It scares me alittle because going out and having fun is one thing.... but this relationship stuff has been crushing to me in the past. I don't love quickly and I surely don't let go easily so getting enmeshed emotionally is something I have some hesitation about. Oh, and just for funs I went to a comedy competition with Theo on Friday. We were in contact a few weeks ago - just as buddies since we really did enjoy time together even though we are NOT dating. OMG, we laughed, laughed, laughed. It was like laugh therapy. One thing I can say about Theo is he really is good at picking out fun stuff to do!

key thing is fluids. I found Water to be very irritating early on - herbal warm tea was my saviour for months on that topic. On the topic of Protein drinks - sorry to sound mean, but that is a bit of "suck it up buttercup" topic. If anyone thinks i would RATHER drink a Premier Protein over just about anything else they are crazy. I did rather like losing 160#, so it was worth it. I understand that Protein Drinks are horrid. I really really do. The important thing to know is that the early weeks suck big time, but it does get better. Stay hydrated...sip, sip, sip. Hang in there, you will be fine!

Two suggestions, go to real self dot com and search for surgeons in yoru area. You can see photos and read reviews. Second suggestion is to read the plastics forums as many of us have posted long writeups, pictures etc.

I call BS on many of the statements as well... however, i for sure have had to deal with some emotional issues post weight loss. I was pretty okay during the weight loss phase, it was as I got closer to goal, and then maintenance. It is my opinion that for me personally the primary issue was that food was sort of an emotional ballast, a crutch, a way of numbing feelings. When you spend DECADES leaning on something like that it is really hard to adapt. They tell you to replace it with physical activity (I did), friends, family and new hobbies and interests (I did) and at times I still felt like I had a hole in my heart. Honestly, I think for the most part, I just wasn't used to REALLY feeling my feelings. I was used to being numb. It was a wild ride to get to the point where I was comfortable with that. also, your looks change ALOT. It's a good happy change, but when you go from being invisible to being quite noticed, it is shocking. Again, I am over it and it doesn't impact me much these days, but it was a bit of a head trip. Then, there are expectations. I NEVER expected weight loss to solve my problems in life. However, once that central issue, monkey on my back obesity was in check... I started looking around thinking "hey, i want more out of life". My expectations now in terms of what I want in life are much much higher. Example, I was planning to go to Hawaii in December with a friend - I have never been there in my whole life. She couldn't make it happen, so that was a little disappointing. When I was obese, I wouldn't have even wanted to go to Hawaii. That isn't depressing for me, but it surely has an emotional impact.

That is interesting. I am 50 and have always had normal pap smears, but have never been offered the HPV test. I still get annual paps, wondering if somehow I am working from outdated info? Anyway, i am sure I am fine, but I have found this to be such a puzzle. I realize that HPV is very common and yet oddly not stimitized the way most STIs are. Anyway, I still think it would make sense for someone like me to be vaccinated because i am now single and presumably my possible future partners have been exposed to alot more possible candidates for spreading it than my long term relationship was. No one wants the risk of cervical cancer OR warts so I do wonder why this isn't offered to the broader population still. I suspect someday it will be... I still think they really messed up when pushing it only for girls. I would have probably just had my boys vacinated when they were young if I had understood the situation more clearly...

You probably know this already... but one of the ways people regain is that whole "I am not hungry enough to eat a real meal".... so then they are not satiated so that is when liquid calories and little snacky unhealthy foods start sneaking in. Those snacky foods are insideous. It seems like you really aren't eating... but the carbs and calorie count can be astounding. So, while I understand not having hunger for breakfast and lunch, I think it is important to get at least a small amount of nutrient dense food (ie Protein and veggies in) and it may prevent over eating in the evening. I say don't buy into the "my metabolism is nil" story. I KNOW I need to eat less compared to other women my relative age/size. Oh well, that is life. Sort of dwelling on that crap is just negativity. We each have to find our own path, and what we need may adapt over time even. I compare this to my orthopedic doctor who told me that he never likes to tell people they have "bone on bone" arthritis. What matters is can they function with a managable amount of pain or discomfort? If they can, who cares what the XRays show. Relating back to food, I genuinely believe that eating the right kinds of food will help you manage your weight over strict calorie control. If it were just calories, I would have been trim while following weight watchers etc and I never was. I am one of the rare people that don't track (although i believe in the value of it) because I KNOW that eating healthy foods, in sort of the program I typed up is how I maintain.

Ok, so this is just my personal experience. I am 3 years out in 10 days and what I have noticed is that "compliance" is easier sometimes and harder other times. What I will say is that I have quite recently noticed a much higher drive to eat, and seems to me like the maintenance challenge is not getting easier over time. I think in reading other "vets" sharing, I am not unique in this. The experience at 2-3years post op is a bit different than someone in their first year or so of surgery. Anyway, you know what needs to happen, but the question is the best way to "reset". First, deep breath. Anxiety over gaining/shame - all those feelings CREATE emotional desire to stress eat. If you can start working on a calmer "get er done" point of view, it will take some of the anxiety out of it and become much more action oriented. I think you need to know yourself a little. Some people are cold turkey and others need to make small gradual changes and work hard to get one change to stick at a time. I am probably a blend of both, but when I am uber stressed (come on you lost your husband!) I can't deal with cold turkey. So, I would probably tackle 3 things first - perhaps spreading the changes out by a few days or a week or whatever feels like you can manage. One, start reducing coffee big time. I would go to 50-50 decaf to start with, and then place quantity and time box rules (like, no coffee after 10 am or something like that). have "abused" coffee during maintenance as it gives me a pick up energy feeling and helps combat appetite. That can boomerang on you though, cause tummy troubles AND if you are adding a bunch of sweet junk, can also introduce a bunch of calories and craving inducing carbs. replace it with plain Water or herbal teas. Second, just stop buying trigger foods - sounds like fudgecycles are yours. for me, it is Protein bars and bread. The bread is really hard because my sons live here now and like sandwiches. Trouble is it calls my name. anyway, if you can make the decision just once - at the grocery store - to simply not buy trigger foods - it is so much easier to resist. Once they are in the house... oh boy! Third, I would start meal planning/tracking on my fitness pal. When I read your descriptions, it is hard to see that you are eating enough to be seriously gaining (although who knows, right?). My fitness pal or some other tracking tool kinda makes you face reality. I would go back to the basics of planning nutritions meals and Snacks. For me, 4 per day, protein first with veggies is the winning combination. If I can eat that way, my cravings and hunger reduce DRASTICALLY. Not sure if you have started drinking a bit of wine or other alchohol or having crackers/snacky type foods, but to the extent you can eliminate them - it will really help reduce the feeling of cravings. So, I am suggesting that you don't need to severely restrict your food, which can be very stressful. I am suggesting that you put some structure around your eating - planned meals and snacks, plan how much water you get, plan to limit your coffee. Plan a snack substitutue for the fudgecycles. Example, how about 1/2 cup of greek yogurt with frozen fruit. Plenty of carbs, some protein, but a healthier way to get it. Even if if is higher calorie than the fudgecycles, you are unlikely to want 3 servings.... and will be more satiated with one. So a healthy eating plan might be something like: Breakfast: Veggie and turkeY (low cal/low carb) sausage and egg beater omelette Lunch: salad greens and salad veggies with tuna or chicken breast. Use a bit of olive oil and yummy white balsamic vinegar dressing Dinner: Lean meat Side of veggies like brussel sprouts, green Beans, etc small salad if still hungry Snack: Greek yogurt with a bit of frozen fruit anyway, these are just some ideas. I know this is hard, but I am also sure your beloved husband would want the best for you, including your good health. Worry more about health than strictly the number on the scale and good things will follow. Once your eating is feeling more solid, then start considering activity and exercise as that can really make you feel better. Good luck and hang in there!

Oh and calories math is a lie. It is way more complicated than that.

Lisa. I am 3 years out. I know exactly what you mean about changes a few years down the road. I have not lost a husband but I too have suffered losses and emotional stresses. I can give you some advice ...for what it's worth. Message me if you'd like to talk by phone I r something.

Kate, I have several Hpv questions if you don't mind.... Why do they say vaccinations only for young people? I know the vaccination only works against a handful of strains but they happen to work against the strains most likely to cause cervical cancer and warts. Seems like older people could benefit from that protection too. When the vacine first came out it was pushed as protection for girls. My boys are in their 20s and although I have encouraged their vaccinations they havnt. I think it was a real miss that the original recommendations focused on girls only. Also why is it that STI testing doesn't include HPV?

Fyi... last winter I was injured by a personal trainer who was trying to rebuild my ass. Turns out...plenty of guys are fine with a skinny ass girl!

Love your pix Kim! ! I had a nice Thanksgiving but feeling kinda low. I think i am just not adjusting to winter.

I revised 3 years ago...best decision ever. Congrats to you! I had diarrhea for awhile. ..the liquid phase had two meanings. .haha...

Oh there are lots of them but the surgeons mentioned have a great track record with post massive weight loss reconstruction.

I stayed one night at outpatient center near a hospital. Great care, no sick people germs, no complaints.

I vote yes on both - but - don't think we should admit anyone unless the group is comfy with them. I also think we should be open to adding a couple of others if we see good candidates. The group has shrunk alot. I am having a problem that worries me. Last spring, I had that appetite loss and lost weight in an unhealthy/unplanned weight because i simply could not eat. Well, my tummy has been bugging me again, but I have actually gained weight. I went back and looked at my records, and I had gained a few pounds before that big "crash" that hit me in the spring. So, I am eating too much carby stuff, not exercising due to an elbow injury and gaining weight. (Last spring, i had the overuse injury from the personal trainer that prevented intense exercise, so some similiarities) At the same time, my tummy is becoming delicate. I seem to eat more out of stress/carb cravings than actual hunger. Last spring it was decided that I was lonely and depressed. Well, it was more anxiety than depression, but you know. I feel pretty okay emotionally,not longer on any meds etc - but maybe the holidays coming? Maybe it is physical? Maybe I am freaked out about the scale inching up and it is messing with my head? Maybe too much wine tasting has irritated my tummy? So I am not lonely, but I have to admit a certain ... struggle I am going through. Been dating Kevin for about 2 months. We get on well, I like him, we are fairly compatible...but... he isn't "the one". I am okay with that - and just casually dating, but he is looking for a partner in life. He will end thing as soon as he comes to the same conclusion I have - which I am sure he will. He is 59, I am 50 and I am deciding that the age difference does matter since he is an athletic guy starting to fall apart (age related) and I still want to do alot of things! There are a few other things, but mostly i just don't feel that "crazy about you" thing. Anyway, so I feel like I want to keep seeing him, but also sort of realize that it is a dead end path and I am a little afraid of getting emotionally hurt. I don't think alot about it, but, it has been bubbling up in the back of my mind. I wonder if that is impacting me too. Oh, and I hate the holidays. Used to love em, hate em now Anyway, I have restarted taking the DGL Licorice for my tummy. Trying to cut back on addictive carbs like bread, cut back on irritations like coffee and wine. Basically, get back on track. I admit, I would like to weigh 140 again, but I don't want to suffer to get there!

People say they regret going "too small" - but I had implants and lift done a year ago and as time goes on I am more and more satisfied with my relatively small implants. Like, on what planet is a "D" cup a small? So here was the long painful thought process I went through....more of a journey... -since I am doing it, might as well get those big hot boobs I never had -everyone says "going too small you will regret it -many members of Dr S patient support group seem to choose huge implants... can they all be wrong? -hmmm... how will big boobs impact my active lifestyle? -I have a fairly big ribcage/broad shoulders - will I still be able to wear a medium jacket after implants?- -how will I look if I ever regain a little weight - will huge boobs make me look even heavier? -in professional settings, can clothes fit me such that I look well put together, without feeling like I need to hide my figure? I did several consults in the USA. One doctor advised me implants in the 200-275CC range. Another doctor let me try on the forms and I picked something over 300CC. She never said "those are too big" but she did say something that stuck with me. She told me i have an athletic build and very large breasts may wind up not being comfortable for me down the road and that I should think hard about it. Then, the man I was dating was completely opposed to me getting implants. He had ex girlfriends with big implants and said they were not attractive, felt weird and got in the way of golfing, and active sports. He was an advocate of me just doing a lift (or doing nothing). I took my boys on a vacation to NYC 2 months before my plastics. He told me to look around at all the women in their 50s-60s who had obvious implants and think hard about what I wanted to look like. It made an impression on me. It wasn't always a great look - there were plenty of women who were a little older and looked frankly very top heavy and looked heavier than I bet they really are. So, in the end I went with modest sized 240CC implants. I measured around the fullest part of my bust and decided I needed to stay under a certain measurement to get the clothing to fit and a certain look. When I tried on the "implants" I measured myself and basically selected the largest size that kept me in my circumference goal. I have visible ribs, but still take a 34 or 36 band size - I will always have a big ribcage and shoulders. I measure as a 34DD, but find that 36D fits well too. The Man I I was dating (mentioned above) thought my results were amazing - and he considers huge - but look and feel natural. One of the things is that if your "pocket" size isn't very big then the implant might feel stuffed in there pretty tight. I also lucked out that he did the lollipop incision so there is no visible scarring. guessing smaller implant helped with that too. I like that I can still wear medium jackets - around a size 8 - and it is still always the chest measurement that makes a fitted top or coat too tight. If I had gone any bigger, I would have gone up a size or two.

Recent topics...or maybe topics with no reply...but the sidebar on the right

Lost 160# since my band to sleeve revision

Dr Sauceda provided them. I woke up from surgery wearing a size medium compression garment. My joke being.. size TODDLER medium! Anyway get one ASAP. I can't emphasize how important they are for healing, scar management etc.

Dr Sauceda. ..He is amazing, warm, safe and excellent results.