CowgirlJane

@bayougirlmrsc In the past I would send name and cell and location and timeframe to a friend and do the whole "check in" thing on first dates, but honestly, I have never done that with someone that I have been seeing for weeks like the situation that happened - although, in this case her people KNEW she was going to the Mariners with this guy and it didn't keep her alive. A background check wouldn't have done much either because his criminal record was not bad enough to make you think he was a murderer. I guess we accept a certain level of risk just leaving the house everyday...

coops, that is a little concerning. I don't know what rennies means, but I would do a 2-3 week course of good PPI and see if that fixes you up. If it doesn't get better... get thee self to a medical professional who has a clue about the sleeve. I weighed today.... only 1# over goal, not bad since I have been on a 3 week eating bender and feel like I weigh much heavier. Yesterday was a good fasting day, today a reasonable eating day.... I feel a bit discouraged about some work things...but all in all, doing good!

I have a relative that has a very checkered past - so I used her as a sample. Could not find evidence of her misdeeds... OR her marriage to the Nigerian prince (I could not make that up)

So, I am curious how you are all doing this checking? Did you subscribe to a paid background checking website? Probably because I am old..haha... many guys dont even have facebook accounts. When I google names, I tend to get a linked in profile, perhaps some photos posted to google images - that is about it. In the case of the man I am currently seeing, I found his law practice web presence of course. I have never found anything "useful" by checking the internet. Yes, actually you should. If I am serious about someone after the coffee date, I'll check to make sure their divorce is final and if they have any criminal charges (mostly concerned about drugs or financial fraud). This internet thing helps, but in this case, probably wouldn't have set off any red flags. I think he had one minor conviction in MO.

@@Katrinakit my views are similiar. I don't want to die, but I don't sit around worrying about it either. The other day a very scary horse incident occured that my sons heard but didn't see. I came in the house and my oldest said "mom, did someone just get stomped to death?" I told him what happened (close call, but no one was hurt) and we were heading out and he said... "Mom, don't die today." Even though they are young adults - I still feel that if something were to happen to me, the real tragedy would be the impact on my loved ones. This poor woman had 3 minor children - they REALLY still need their mother. In the case of this murder, she had been chatting with him awhile, had been dating about 3 weeks... especially if I had met friends or family by then I would be very trusting and getting in a car with him etc. I won't change my behavior significantly because of this but it definately gave me pause. I am not in the least bit comforted in the knowledge that women are more likely to be assualted/killed by someone they know. That happened to me, I was attacked and held hostage for the better part of a day by someone I had worked with for about 6 months... he pointed a gun at me besides being physically overwhelmed. That happened when I was 17 and i have never forgotten that feeling of being completely not able to control the situation and keep myself safe. We operate under the illusion of safety until we are not...

Wow Sent from my KFJWI using the BariatricPal App

I haven't talked to her since last year so haven't discussed this specifically. I know that in general the advice she gives me is to just "do it" and be okay with the inner tension/ discomfort / fears which is what I am doing. As it relates to dating, one of the big concerns that she had for me is that while others find it "fun" to go on a million dates and casually see lots of people I don't. I find each of these "short term" interests erodes my positive feelings about dating/finding a relationship. So, for me, it has been a balancing act of keeping at it vs respecting that my internal self protection kicks in. Last year, I was bothered by a dating situation WAY more than I realized at the time. I started to notice that I had a longing for someone I used to see. I noticed that I didn't really want to be in a relationship with him again (there was a reason it ended!) but rather I had some fears about meeting new men and trying to find a good one. I occasionally thought about my physical safety... but what I think was really going on was that emotional fear. So, what I did was take time off from the whole thing. Whilst I was recovering from surgery etc I put some time into thinking about how to approach things differently - asking myself what I REALLY want... that sort of thing. It was successful - this go worked out so much better than past efforts. However, I still want to be a more open person. It is a tough one because I am super outgoing, make aquaintances easily but am adept at keeping a certain wall up and only letting a very few people in. Let me share an example. There is a super nice lady at work that I have known for years. Yesterday, she suggested we go shopping and have a glass of wine - super fun! I want to do this, but... I still notice that inner resistance. It apparently runs quite deep and surprises me at times. The part I can't tell is how it "reads" to another person. Does my hesitancy read as lack of interest? Does it read as reservations about him specifically? Neither of those is true - and that is the only reason I thought about bringing it up.

I am so sorry... I too have met men who seem to be on dating sites for recreational purposes... self validation? I dunno but it is disappointing. My worst experience was actually seeing someone for several months who had serious emotional problems, but his flipping counselor had him dating as part of his "therapy". That took a long time to get over and I think I developed a little fear even after THAT experience. While we need to be open to love, I guess this sort of thing is a good reason to start really slow. I think it is a good sign when you meet their friends and get a vibe about that situation to see if they are some kind of user, freak or otherwise unsavory character.

@@proudgrammy bariatric pal occasionally loses it's mind. It hangs, but you don't realize it. It seems as though it didn't post, so you hit it again and it just posts over and over. Sometimes, i will log in on a separate tab to see if my post actually worked. Frankly, it is tiresome. I normally go back and correct it, but I guess I was not in the mood that day. sorry.

The number one thing I had to overcome.... get used to sometimes actually FEELING negative emotions. Exercise, talking to a friend etc all helped me cope, but in the end, the healing started when I allowed myself to feel bad things and realize I wasn't going to die (metaphorically).

I love the Protein "mug" cakes - although it isn't really cake like...more bread pudding like. To me the key to success is starting with the right protein powder!

So glad to hear it's going well! He's tolerating chemo pretty well, and believes it will drive the cancer into remission again. We're being very present. Very present. Love that man! We're so lucky. Sent from my KFJWI using the BariatricPal App

I woke up about 2am with a bit of pain in lower left ab area. I took some maalox and tried to get back to sleep. By 4 am I was vomiting and the pain was radiating around my back and across the whole abdominal area. I had it in my mind I was food poisoned because I took a chance on Chinese food that I normally won't eat. But I ate about 530pm and woke at 2 am so that seemed strange. By 5 am, in one of the lulls in the pain spasms I woke my son up to take me to the emergency room. I had another bad spasm and couldn't get dressed, so we left about 45 minutes later. By the time we get there, I can barely walk and continuously dry heaving. They get me in pretty fast - the pain med made me high, but didn't touch the pain. The zophram reduced the naseau. By the time I got back from the ct scan I was in screaming pain, dry heaving again and the shift had changed. New nurse guessed my diagnosis and switched me to a strong anti inflammatory pain med and treated the vomiting symptom.. I felt better within about 10 minutes! Thank God. My pain was like a 9 if unmedicated childbirth is like a 12 (on a scale of 1-10). Really I felt as though I might die, or worse yet that I wouldn't and have to suffer so. So anyhoo..you guessed it, really big kidney stone, way up high. Follow up with urologist since they don't think this baby will pass unassisted. Great. Current problem is that an NSAID is needed but not good for us. Called my lovely bariatric practice and have a plan of attack on how to protect my tummy for short term use of NSAID. My luck has not been 100 percent good in 2016 so far.... Sent from my KFJWI using the BariatricPal App

"Treating" myself to a Protein drink with a generous dollop of Peanut Butter for Christmas brunch 2 weeks post op. I had my one and only dumping experience...it was a memorable Christmas! It was the last time I used food as a reward "I've been so good, I can splurge" - that thought does not cross my mind these days. Sent from my KFJWI using the BariatricPal App

I am 4 years 4 months post sleeve. I eat like a trim, middle age woman. I think it's awesome! Sent from my KFJWI using the BariatricPal App

Last year I got off track due to hip pain and a bad relationship experience..and maybe a certain maintenance fatigue? I got about 10-12# over goal and said " enough!" Been back at goal since last fall! Sent from my KFJWI using the BariatricPal App

I revised in 2011 after 10 tough years banded. The sleeve has been wonderful for me - am maintaining 150#loss!!! However, there are possible issues with the sleeve. I assume you know about the surgical risks, but what you may not realize is that a significant minority of sleevers develop reflux. Most can control it with meds, but some can't and need to revise to bypass. Also, you can regain after ANY WLS. Plenty of " vets" find we have to remain diligent as your hunger will return and old habits can slide back in. I am so happy with my sleeve results - it saved my life and changed my whole world. I realize that not everyone experiences that and some have unrealistic expectations. Sent from my KFJWI using the BariatricPal App

I forgot to weigh this morning. I did good on eating... My horse back riding jeans give me a little muffin top, motivation! Woohoo Kim, great results! Georgia that sounds like a great trip. I am suffering from tree pollen allergies...feeling a little cruddy. Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I337 using the BariatricPal App

I agree about letting things just develop but that isn't what I am talking about. My meaning is that I want to be let him into my life more .. just the way things develop as a relationship grows and I feel some inner tension. It isn't because I have a bad feeling about him it's my pattern and I want to change it. Btw, I keep women friends at a distance too until I really know them a long time. Counselor said it is due to fear of hurt/abandonment and I think she is right. Even when I choose to remove someone from my life, I tend to experience it as a loss. Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I337 using the BariatricPal App

You have posted before mentioning scent /pheromones and I kinda dismissed it...or rather didn't relate to it. You will laugh when I say I thought of you when I realized it is true! My love interest does not wear cologne and is very clean ... I would say he doesn't have a detectable scent. The other evening I was snuggled next to him and took a deep breath in and was conscious that it made me feel good. Triggered some kind of chemical reaction in my brain... so I must experience a scent even though I can't name it. I was already relaxed and content but that made me feel even more so... it made me feel secure and like I belonged there. Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I337 using the BariatricPal App

I am eating my words....I am very enamored with someone I met just shy of 2 Months ago. Hope it's working out for OP! Sent from my KFJWI using the BariatricPal App

Denise, follow docs orders! Maybe a modified 5:2 - no wine or sweets 5 days a week? Honestly I would probably lose weight if I did that! Sent from my KFJWI using the BariatricPal App

We often coach people to go"back to basics" when struggling. I am conducting a small experiment on myself and preliminary results are interesting. Background, I don't record consumption AND post sleeve I don't care much for plain Water anymore. I drink disguised water - mio drops, crystal lite, Vitamin water etc. and keep a rough tally in my head.... getting about 64 ounces per day. Obviously, those flavor enhancers have artificial sweeteners. Due to recent kidney stone, I have been advised to drink 2 liters of water a day and to add orange juice or lemonade. I didn't want to add the sugars from juice so he suggested lemon in my water. I slice and squeeze a whole lemon into a 4 liter pitcher with the goal to drink it 50-50 over 2 days. Of course, I am not having the mio drops etc. The stubborn water weight from my surgical procedure has dropped since I started this a couple of days ago. My initial conclusion is that actual water, without artificial enhancers helps your body way better. I am giving this a solid month experiment but I suspect this will help with maintaining AND prevention of the dreaded kidney stones. Sent from my KFJWI using the BariatricPal App

One thing about this massive weight loss experience - I learned to have a thick skin. A couple of family members staged an intervention...they thought I was becoming way too thin. I am 5'5", robust build, but 140s/150s is NOT too thin. I knew they were genuinely concerned so I decided to respect their concerns, told them my weight and said that doctors, blood work etc all say I am healthy. They were like.."wow...we thought you were more like 125# and still losing." We talked it out and the problem went away - they love me and were scared my eating issues had gone the other way. I carry weight well, and I did get thinner than I prefer but far from anorexic. The beautiful thing is that when you get a few years out...nobody remembers the "bigger you" and the trimmer new you becomes your new normal. So maybe you don't have a good enough relationship to talk it through...so smile and nod....in a year they won't remember..ha!

One thing about this massive weight loss experience - I learned to have a thick skin. A couple of family members staged an intervention...they thought I was becoming way too thin. I am 5'5", robust build, but 140s/150s is NOT too thin. I knew they were genuinely concerned so I decided to respect their concerns, told them my weight and said that doctors, blood work etc all say I am healthy. They were like.."wow...we thought you were more like 125# and still losing." We talked it out and the problem went away - they love me and were scared my eating issues had gone the other way. I carry weight well, and I did get thinner than I prefer but far from anorexic. The beautiful thing is that when you get a few years out...nobody remembers the "bigger you" and the trimer new becomes your new normal. So maybe you don't have a good enough relationship to talk it through...so smile and nod....in a year they won't remember..ha! One thing about this massive weight loss experience - I learned to have a thick skin. A couple of family members staged an intervention...they thought I was becoming way too thin. I am 5'5", robust build, but 140s/150s is NOT too thin. I knew they were genuinely concerned so I decided to respect their concerns, told them my weight and said that doctors, blood work etc all say I am healthy. They were like.."wow...we thought you were more like 125# and still losing." We talked it out and the problem went away - they love me and were scared my eating issues had gone the other way. I carry weight well, and I did get thinner than I prefer but far from anorexic. The beautiful thing is that when you get a few years out...nobody remembers the "bigger you" and the trimer new becomes your new normal. So maybe you don't have a good enough relationship to talk it through...so smile and nod....in a year they won't remember..ha! One thing about this massive weight loss experience - I learned to have a thick skin. A couple of family members staged an intervention...they thought I was becoming way too thin. I am 5'5", robust build, but 140s/150s is NOT too thin. I knew they were genuinely concerned so I decided to respect their concerns, told them my weight and said that doctors, blood work etc all say I am healthy. They were like.."wow...we thought you were more like 125# and still losing." We talked it out and the problem went away - they love me and were scared my eating issues had gone the other way. I carry weight well, and I did get thinner than I prefer but far from anorexic. The beautiful thing is that when you get a few years out...nobody remembers the "bigger you" and the trimmer new becomes your new normal. So maybe you don't have a good enough relationship to talk it through...so smile and nod....in a year they won't remember..ha!