CowgirlJane

My initial goal was to get under and actually MAINTAIN under 200#. Since I had spent a lot of years in the 300+ range that was an ambition. When i got closer to that, i realized I wanted more so I adjusted my goal to 158. i picked that number because it put me at 25ish BMI and it was a nice round 150# weight loss. I actually got down to 140, but never changed my goal because I want to respect that I am still a success whether I have lost those extra vanity pounds or not. My advice, set a realistic goal... and keep an open mind to change it.... or to keep it as the upper end of your bounce range. It can be a negative thing to keep over focused on a number.

On the one hand, I can't even fathom...on the other hand I suppose I do think low BMI/young/recently obese should at least try pretty seriously before WLs so I guess I judge too. What I noticed is that people who had known me FOREVER who were not obese were my cheerleaders. My family who are most overweight were less so. I was 150# overweight, most of them are say 50# overweight. My general feeling is that it is other fat people who are the most judgmental perhaps?

In my opinion (just that - I know nothing beyond my own experiences) you are EXACTLY where you should be at this stage. I went through a period where I felt somewhat... not quite human - ha! food was a chore, it tasted weird, it was hard, it took planning etc. For me, the transition to solid food was slow and difficult - going back to work at the same time I was transitioning food was up there with childbirth in terms of challenging life experiences. When i hear about crazy ass stuff people are eating within weeks of surgery I wonder at times because I followed my instructions exactly and it was still hard. Seriously, it was hard but oh so worth it! I tell people - the early weeks were rugged. Really they were, but i viewed it as life or death so I didn't complain even though I was painfully ill, for example, because I stupidly put Peanut Butter in my Protein drink to "celebrate" Christmas - i was still thinking that celebrate=food. Stupid girl. Ah what I have learned over the last few years. It took me probably 12 weeks before I felt fully human. That is a hard statement to explain, but I really felt quite odd those early months and it was a little scary. Everything.. Water... eating... everything was hard. I was a lifetime obese person - I had the lapband but never moved out of obese catagory. As my wonderful sleeve surgeon said - I had an advanced stage obesity disease. It is true and it changes your body and mind. I view this horrible time as the chance to change the relationship with food. I knew food was the "bad boyfriend" who always, always let you down but you came back for more.... but use that time to break that addiction. There is so much more to life than overeating. We all know that, but I want to sing it from the rooftops. Trust me, nothing, absolutley nothing, tastes as good as being normal, thin, whatever you wanna call it feels. So... let me fast forward to life down the road. I am 3 years out. I can eat ANYTHING. I have to work it, just like most of the trim/thin/fit women I know - crap, you cant just eat what you want and maintain a good weight! Life is good, i feel amazing, I look pretty hot for a 50 Year old and I love life. I don't want to say there aren't challenges - there are big ones, but my biggest worries these days are stuff like... will my knees hold up doing intense hikes? Should i really wear that hot dress at my age? Is that guy really into me or ? Lets just say things change. Anyway, its very hard. and, very worth it. mnmist - I am so with you! I am often shocked by people who don't understand this. This is a big deal.

So, I had a mini meltdown yesterday... but I am over it. When I (re)injured my knee - remember, i freaking know I have bone on bone arthritis and have spent time walking with a crutch or cane due to it - I just cycled up about not being able to keep skiing, kick boxing, riding, dancing - living life! It hurt just walking running errands and i had visions of MRIs, knee surgeries and getting fat again. It was weird, it was like a post traumatic stress event - imagining myself basically partially disabled like I was at 310-350# weight class and bad knees again. Last night I met a friend for dinner and we had lots of laughs. I also talked to Theo (my hiking buddy from last summer that I sorta dated but we never really went anywhere) and he is something of an expert in "joint management" and he talked me off the bridge so to speak. Today, I woke up and my knee didn't hurt. I didn't have to wear a brace, and it still didn't hurt. I took my own advice to rest it a bit more and didn't go back to kickboxing or skiing... but I think I am going to live. It was strange to realize how terrified, at a very core level I am of losing my physical ability. I think it is because I spent not just years, but decades, limited in my abilities. My inner athlete has surfaced kinda late in life (people who are recent friends are astounded I was not a jock in high school and college - nope, i was the obese bookworm nerd!) and I guess it feels so fragile, undeserved, and like it could just disappear on me in an instant. Wow. That has been a shocking revelation.

Funny picture! So, I am a low carber since WLS (I didn't used to believe in it - ha!) but I am questioning the point that obese people get enough brain energy from fats. I am basing this on a study of one.. (me)... but if I get too low carb, i get brain fuzz and I get physical exhaustion - that happened even when I was obese. It is a fine line - I recall not evening have energy to pedal my spinning bike when I was two low on carbs. i have been on a long hike where I literally felt myself running out of fuel. My hiking partner could tell i was struggling... slowing down, a little unsteady etc. I did not feel hungry, but I had to eat a carb source. I don't consider any class of food as my enemy - just to be clear. When I lecture..haha.. about carbs I am simply trying to share the reality of my world. I lost a crapload of weight post sleeve and I could not have done it without going low carb. Maintaining that massive weight loss for 2 years hasn't always been easy, but carb management is for me the secret to hunger management. I found that down the road, you simply cannot rely on "restriction" of the sleeve - at least for me - what I eat drives my hunger levels. My other point about carbs/nutrition is that sugar is sugar. And sugar can really impact us negatively. It doesn't matter if that sugar is buried in a healhty source (like fruit) or comes from something perceived as better (honey) it is still metabolically... SUGAR. For people who are carb sensitive those type of foods tend to increase hunger and interfere with weight loss. Maybe sugar is the enemy - I don't know, but I find I can eat high fat and calories do matter, but not as much as the carb/sugar situation. Now, this does not seem to be everybody's truth because our bodies are quite individual, but it has held true for me.

This makes me sad. I am so incredibly grateful for the work and family and friends support not just for WLS but also for massive reconstructive plastics later. remember, keep your eye on the prize which is your own health and not let this stuff derail you.

be well, i don't know why everything tasted weird - it happened to me too. i couldn't even drink plain water - herbal tea, not hot but warm was a lifesaver for quite awhile. Good news is, it really helps you get over your food addiction..haha. Bad news is, before long food tastes good again. so "enjoy it"while you can! After 3 years, the only thing that still tastes weird is water and that isnt too bad, I can drink it again. It made me sad because I used to love plain ole water but a small price to pay to be half my former size!!!!

Jen, there are a couple of people organizing local get togethers. there was one last weekend in Bothell and I think they are doing something in the Fife or Tacoma area (don't remember!) I am near the northend, but have a real hard time making it to Sunday afternoon stuff so haven't attended yet. There are other hospital based support groups around too.

I revised from a failed band (had for 10 years) to a sleeve 3 years ago. It is pretty normal to gain a bunch of weight from IV fluids - so don't let that get you down. It is normal to stall a bit. The sleeve can work even if the band wasn't successful for you. I have lost about about half my former weight and maintaining for 2 years. I was never able to even move out of obese catagory with band. If you have specific questions...feel free to reach out, but just know the early days are about hydration and healing and working toward Protein goals... it gets easier, it gets better.

My main point is long term success with the sleeve is related to "restriction" but it is more accurate to say it is that you get "satiated" faster. In the first year, it is fairly restrictive for most, but becomes less so over time. You need to retrain your brain...

how are doing @Jlkhollins? I know it is so scary, revisions are riskier than "virgin sleevers" but even so, the vast majority of people are just fine! Even the peeps with complications do fine in the end... so think very positively... you will do great!

I think this information should "scare" newbies a little bit. I don't say this to paint a picture of despair, as that is simply not the case. I say all this to paint a realistic picture. According to my surgeon, I have lost 100% of my excess. That is better than typical for someone who started at such a high weight. Maintaining that, makes sense, is a big challenge for me. I spent most of my life obese or overweight so no wonder maintaining a "normal" size/weight is a challenge - but I have been doing just that for 2 years so far - a feat i have never managed before in my life. One of the smartest things my surgeon ever told me was that years 2, 3 and on to infinity are nearly as important as year "1". I am finding there to be much truth in that and i am not sure most people are forewarned. I mean, it is one thing to say "lifestyle change" and it is quite another to turn that into daily decisions to maintain a huge weight loss.

So here is the shocker for me that I still can't wrap my head around - I am at the high end of the "normal" BMI range and yet my doctor, and the surgeons (bariatric and plastic) tell me I don't have extra fat. I didn't need/don't need lipo. I am "heavy" for my size - at 158 right now - and i don't actually understand this because of course I see my jiggly thighs and think its fat (I did not do the long thigh lift) but it is just skin. I just started up kickboxing and zumba in front of HUGE mirrors in a smallish gym - intimate space. I somehow wound up in front so was confronted with seeing my full body, close up, in action, compared to another say 8-10 women ranging from say 30-60 (I am 50). (I think other gyms/group classes I wasn't so close and intimate so this comparison was not so obvious.) I am about 15# heavier than my lowest weight and i admit even i could not see where I could lose 15# from. My body is bigger than some other ladies... but that is my bone structure. I am not a petite person. Anyway, it takes time to wrap your mind around your physical changes and accept yourself as "good enough" or perhaps even FANTASTIC - even with some puddling skin!

Florinda, I work with many tiny Asian children as well. The funny funny funny part to me is I do stuff with meetups and the tiny Asian male children all think I am a pretty hot prospect. funniest ever was the one who asked me my height - 5'5" and he replied "we are perfect for each other, I am 5'5" too!" Kelly, good to hear from you. Seems like you are doing great in the larger scheme of things. nice to see a "surprise" loss on the scale! Okay, Steven must have read my mind because shortly after i posted today about him being so nutty - he finally told me the bad thing that happened. Most of his problems in life are self inflicted wounds (he is a drama queen quite frankly), and he has gotten so much better about not "inviting" trouble and has been so much more level headed that this caught me by surprise. Anyway, his woes are serious, have to do with his business and are lively-hood threatening. I am glad he told me. We are not going to see each other for now because I don't want the stress and I know he will freak out on me again when he is in this state, but it made me feel better to understand it as it just seemed so out of the blue. doesn't really change things - but i feel better knowing. Oh, and I have been freaking out about my knee injury but i talked it over with my best friend and i feel better about that too. I am disappointed to not be skiing (steven is an instructor and told me don't even think about it!) and to not be doing kickboxing 3X a week... but I am reminded it is just temporary. Peace. Wind down... heading out to meet with friends which is what i need when I get too inside myself.

I ate about 1-2 per day at that point. Compare satiety to having two decent sized skewers, delish, 150 cals; 24 g of Protein, low total carbs... Anyway do what is working, just sharing my experience.

The closer you are to goal the harder it will be. Some people seem to lose effortlessly all along but I started over 300#, lost pretty steady till I hit the say 180-190 range and it slowed to like 2 pounds a month. I knew I wasn't gonna make my goals with that so I contacted a NUT and made some changes based on her advice and my own inner dialog. 1. I personally had to face my own inner resistance. I know that sounds crazy, but I had gotten to where I wasn't huge anymore, but wasn't slim either. I was "matronly" and I recognize there was still a little fat suit safety going on there. I had to ask myself the question if i was ready to really "go for it" and get to a normal size/weight. 2. I could not lose weight while eating alot of processed carby foods - including Protein bars. i did a reset back to very simple meat and low carb veggies. to this day I limit fruits and other "healthy" but sugary foods as they seem to pack pounds on me. 3. I changed my workouts from eliptical and using weight machines to doing high intensity interval training. WOW - that is both hard and also invigorating. I feel like that helped provide some of the fuel to get things going again.

It's skin

For most people, "sliders" don't become an issue until 6-12+ months post op. The whole deal with sliders is the DON'T take up much space in your tummy, they don't satisfy you. Even if you are temporarily "full" from sliders or junky food you tend to want to eat again sooner. My joke is even 3 years out, i eat on a small plate, and eat "mini meals" and get quite satiated from that, but I am pretty sure I could eat a whole bag of cheetos.... i might have to wait 30 minutes to eat the second half - I don't know, as I have not tried, but I suspect it! Anyway, I was a big Quest bar advocate until my weight loss slowed to a crawl about 8 months post op and my quest bar habit was one of the offenders. Getting off that train got me back on track and I lost a total of 150# in 14 months. I could not have done that had I stayed eating Quest bars. Our experiences change over time, but I still find success eating food like this: 4-5 mini meals a day Dense Protein first (fish, seafood, chicken, beef, eggs, egg beaters, etc etc. Healthy veggies (love roasted veggies, salads etc) anything else is low priority Difference is now my desire and capacity to eat is much higher than it was in my first year

Coops and Kathy you both report negligble losses but I think perspective is good. we are all several years into this deal and shaving off 10# now is like hand to hand combat. 1 step forward, 2 back, no 3 forward, 1 back.... I almost feel like our progress needs to be measured in smaller units...haha. Hell, not gaining is progress! So congrats on your wild successes of not gaining!!! Coops - sorry to hear about the family sadness. There are no words... unfortunately I know all too well. Kim- i will check out that movie! Thanks, it sounds interesting. Well, it has only been a month since breaking up with Kevin, but i am thinking of starting to date again. I have gone through the whole thought cycle - screw it, I am sick of this, I hate dating I just want a relationship and I can't seem to really find that. I was even to the point of just going back to Steven and finding peace with a limited relationship (we do care for each other and have great chemistry) while doing my own thing since I don't want to give up my daily life for a relationship. Luckily, he went from being wonderful to swinging through a manic phase and as a result freaked out on me - made me realize I just don't need his drama no matter how wonderful being with him can be. My god, i have never known anyone so difficult and yet so easy - depending where he is in his insanity cycle as best i can tell - to be with. It is really good that this happened because for a moment I actually believed he was more stable now. Anyway, after all that I just thought... I want a real relationship. A loving one with a cool, stable, fun and interesting guy. I somehow need to find a way to get to the heart of that a little better in the dating process. Right now I know 3 men who would like to date me - guys I have met through the meetup. They seem decent, employed, socially adept people but I am just not attracted or interested. Last dance i went to I was more interested in the cool shoes I saw on some of the ladies then I was was in any potential suitors. I hope it is just because THEY aren't the right ones and it is not a sign that I have lost my desire. This morning, I am feeling a little bummed because my knee is major messed up. I did it in zumba, which was such a lame workout but the lateral movements caused something to go "pop". I am so discouraged as I wanted to do kickboxing again last night but instead iced my knee. damn damn damn. double damn. One of the things that makes me feel GREAT is intense exercise, especially in a group setting and right now I can't do it. I don't think I can go skiing tomorrow either.

Good topic, since my WLS was December 2011, my years fit calendar years pretty well! 2012 - I almost got to goal but not quite. It was also surreal, I felt a bit awful at times in the early months and it was so strange to have to eat like taking a medication, not because I was hungry. I also had to start facing some of the vulernerability revealed by my disappearing fat suit. I remember the summer of that year I felt so wonderful...I went hiking with my kiddo, wore shorts to the state fair. I was so proud, but when I look at those photos, I was still fat. By the end of the year, i was very close to goal and was starting to deal with "attention" and other strange events. My theme for 2012 was single minded focus to losing weight during the honeymoon period - the year of committment. 2013 - hit goal in February - happy happy!!! That year was filled with so many new adventures, more hiking, starting dating and finding maintenance pretty easy....in fact I started getting careless. I was however FIT - workouts were intense and I was feeling like an athlete! Come about August I realized too many dates had added about 3 pounds so I started 5:2 and got down well under my goal! 2013 was filled with highs and lows...I decided to get plastics, got a new horse, but was in some ways a bit of emotional rollercoaster. My 2013 theme felt a little crazy - so much changed in my life! 2014 - I was still maintaining quite easily under goal, but had a bit of a life upset and and lost my appetite. I lost 10 pounds (unintended) in about 3 weeks and at least i had the sense to get help. I spent a few months getting my feet back under me. By summer, I was feeling good, looking good, happy! I maintained at my new lower weight pretty well - but at the end of year I let myself get off track and by year end i was back to goal 2014 overall was a year of stability for me - no big changes, no surgeries, lots of fun but no important decisions. 2015 - so far... I am finding it surprisingly difficult to get back under my goal compared to experiences from previous years. My current weight is fine, but like most people I want a little cushion...What I notice is that "buckling down" is not really causing the pounds to drop but I am maintaining my goal easily. I am much happier with life as a healthy thin person, but it isn't always easy. Physical problems caused by a lifetime of obesity are starting to show up - joint issues in particular. I am still working on my theme for 2015 ....

Since you quoted me, I assume these comments were directed at me. I do not think carbs are the enemy, in fact I don't have any foods that are my enemy, but what I do think is that they are often sliders (even Protein bars) and you may find this a bigger challenge once you are in maintenance. I am 3 years post op and maintaining 150-160# weight loss. I have more capacity to eat now, more hunger and it is frankly hard at times. For me, Protein Bars have a way of being a snacky food that I eat when i don't really need a mini meal - and some of them are terribly high calorie and carb (not Quest bars so much). You will find many people who are in maintenance work pretty hard to keep snacky sliders out of the house as it is so easy to fall back into eating just a little too much too often. Real food is more satiating and it lasts - again more of an issue for people that are over a year out. So, everyone's calories come from 3 macronutrients - protein, carbs and fat. You absolutely need all 3 for good health. If you go too low carb, you really do not feel well and can get brain fog. My diet is definately heavier on the protien and fats - try to keep it more healthy fats like avocado, olive oil etc. I eat alot of veggies and many of them are good complex carb sources and those seem really okay for me. What is sensible is to listen to your body since some people seem more carb sensitive than others. I didn't worry too much about carbs the first 6-8 months of my post WLS time. When my losses slowed down, I got serious about controlling carbs and I needed to do that to get to goal. At maintenance, I certainly have more, but if my hunger is getting out of control, it can be traced back to overconsumption of carbs - even healthy ones like whole grain breads etc. I know, I experimented with adding in a really nice organic bread daily and having a bit of wild rice with dinner for a few weeks and my cravings went up. I don't believe in the whole net carb thing - I feel that is pushed by the processed food industry. Well, and the MD I used to see has some very good write ups on why total carbs is the right measure. It is like in the old days with Weight watchers, you could eat alot of nasty food but the points were low as long as there was a bunch of added fiber... Oh, and my own modification of it all is I don't even count the carbs in most veggies - I consider them free (potatoes, corn, peas etc are exception)

I was banded in 2001 and had a similar experience. I had it removed in September 2011 because it was slipped, pouch was dialated, danger it could suddenly slip further and cut off ability to swallow Water. I had the same fears you express about the sleeve so I didn't commit to revision. I was so hungry and frankly kinda down after the band removal. I was grieving that whole failure. Anyway my raging hunger made me realize I needed WLS and I was sleeved in Dec 2011 I lost 150# in 14 m months to get to goal. The sleeve has worked for me but it is still alot of effort for me. No pain or vomiting though!

Are you close to a normal BMI? I had to go hardcore to get the last pounds off.

Ladies gone wild came from the sleeve forum. The mobile app sure leaves you blind!

Well, as i like to say... "my give a damn is busted" these days.... Really, I am just not as willing to be the smiling, happy, jovial fat girl anymore. I have grown fond of quoting country western songs... so bear with me... but one of my themes is "I'd rather have nothing than a whole lotta something I don't need". Meaning, I only want people in my life who are true friends and bring a good energy into my life. Relationships have changed. But I also agree with what everyone else said - the crankiness should be temporary. The being less concerned about what others think/or feeling the need to sort of fit in seems to be a permanent change.