CowgirlJane

Congrats for standing up for yourself. That can be really hard to do when you are obese and a skinny ass person is lecturing on how you "should" tackle your disease of obesity. She has no idea. I changed doctors over this kind of ignorant thinking. My previous primary care doctor really broke the last straw when she told me I just needed to buy the right cookbooks. You know, if i could make food in a crockpot like she did surely I would be skinny like her. I was floored, stunned and frankly felt like she was speaking from a different planet. I never went back to her because we had no common ground to work with.

Kim, it in no way bums me out for you to talk about your mama. What actually bugs me are people who want to pretend the dead were never here. If you lose someone you really love, you still carry some of them in your heart forever. I went to a fun low key mardis gras soiree on Tuesday. I was getting sick but still in denial. Didn't cough on anyone so probably ok. Yesterday hit me hard but I went to bed about 2 in the afternoon and am a little better. It's just a cold/cough/ sore throat. I am hoping to be mended by weekend as I have fun plans! My trip to costa rica is booked and ready for April. So excited!

I wouldn't worry too much about it. I did have reconstructive plastics but through creative use of spanx and dressing right I was able to disguise it well before that. I think the key is to not wear things that cause skin spillage like tight jeans. This comment applies to many people....squeezed into muffin top inducing clothes isn't a great look for anyone.. and yet commonly observed in these parts.

The Lyon's Den in Bothell meeting is still happening, but i don't know what date is the next one! They are always a sunday afternoon at 3. I went to one and met some great people.

Sarah, when it rains it pours. You have my deepest empathy. Head injury..one of my worst nightmares! I always wear a helmet riding or skiing but of course anything can happen. The story about dementia and how your family is dealing with itis heartbreaking. My mom got vascular dementia,last 2-3 years of her life she was a childlike, empty headed but sweet stranger. It was just mind boggling and I was probably in denial myself. She was terrified of going to a care facility (she was always coherent on THAT subject) so we muddled through caring for her. Few years later...we muddled through caring for my lil sis until she died of cancer. I gave up nearly a decade of caring for and grieving the two of them so you and your family have my prayers and well wishes.

Oh I get lots of emails (if I make my profile public) but the quality of men is lower than I find acceptable. In addition, I question how many of them are seeking real relationships. I have run into guys (who meet my quality criteria) who are clearly serial monogamists (well, who knows about the monogamy thing). Meaning, long history of dating women for 2 months - 2 years and then moving on to the next one... I recently "met" a couple of guys who at age 50 had never had a relationship longer than a few years which I find telling - maybe i am being judgemental but my observed behavior from them sort of matches my suspicions. I also think some really "want" a true love but lack the personal attributes to make that kind of emotional investment. My background is different. I am 50. I was with one man from my late teens to early 30s (married my high school sweetheart) and then another from my mid 30s to my mid 40s (long term unmarried). This wild world of online dating seems to encourage men just interested in a pretty woman to go out with and have sex with is all new to me and disappointing. I am SURE there are wonderful guys on these dating websites but it seems like a really hard way to find them. BTW, I met two men on dating websites that I never really dated, but became friends and activity partners. One of them is now in a serious relationship with a wonderful lady who is becoming my friend - so there ARE good ones out there. I am moving to 100% real life and accepting that may be better off single at some point. Last night i went to a social event and met 3 men that all appealed to me. One of them expressed interest - but didn't ask me out as it was a very public social event. Who knows, I might still hear from him but the point is that just in the 2 hours I spent at the low key mardi gras social event they seemed more genuine and cool than 97% of the "coffee dates" I have experienced on dating websites. Sorry, but i am just jaded and tired of it and really just don't need it. blech.. I am tired of the shopping aspect of online dating.

Keep in mind - shrimp come in little bitty bay shrimp size all the way up to jumbo prawns. Also, as much as I advocate "eating small" I do think that people who undereat (ie never really reach satiety) are more prone to grazing. Bottom line, we each have our own journey and constantly comparing to others can drive you batty.

There are successful band patients such as Alex who owns this site...however my story is similar to above. Band for 10 years, alot of pain, food intolerance, reflux from hell, hunger never really satiated. If you go band be sure you have excellent follow up as it requires alot of tinkering. In my case no matter how many fills and un fills it was never really right

I know someone who got the respiratory flu followed by sinus and ear infections. Been very sick for weeks but he didn't have WLS. Possible you just had bad luck with a virus?? I thought I was going to keep all my hair but about 5months out I was losing crazy amounts. Luckily I had too much to begin with so I was ok. 3 years out, My hair and body are wonderful now!! It's so worth it.

I was told the cut nerves in the stomach take a good 6 weeks to heal. Are you still on soft food? It is not until you are fully transitioned to solid food that you begin to feel a normal satiety. I asked my NUT what were the most important success factors. All the"rules" have a reason but she told me that #1 eat to lack of hunger/satiety, do NOT try to find "full" and #2 don't graze. I still take this to heart over 3 years post op. I choose to eat less than I "could" eat. I will share advice given to me...those early months, eat by the clock and measuring cup. I had been obese for most of my life and had a strong physical drive to eat..freaking hungry! It took me awhile to learn how to eat intuitively, to recognize signals, to eat slower etc. So I measured everything in the early months, followed volume recommendations from NUT. So I doubt you stretched your stomach but work that sleeve to maximize your results - you can do it!

A good number of Dr Sauceda patients had this done. I hear good things about it. I however remain a skinny ass

online dating sucks even when you are thin

Thank you. The truth is even 3 years out I would never eat a cup of Pasta but I am trying hard to not be the carb nazi as I have been accused. Your total volume even years down the road is about a cup or so. I might have a few little noodles along with the meatballs - but in general - I don't eat pasta as it doesn't give me long term satiety.

You do NOT get stuck with the sleeve. I have a few times overeaten/eaten too fast and vomited... but I mean a handful of times in 3 years. With the band I vomited often. IT was disgusting.

I realize there is some variation in experience, but most of us get drastic reduction in hunger. I had the band for 10 years and most of the time I was in hunger or in pain - no true satiety. Sleeve works like a normal, smaller stomach. I get hungry, i eat small portions, I am not hungry for awhile. I started 2001 band at 272, never got under 200#. hungry 24/7 and high drive to eat. Sleeved 10 years later at 308; maintaining in the 150s 3 years post op. I work it, but the sleeve is an effective surgery

Don't let a biased, arrogant surgeon keep you from seeking support. I consider myself wildly successful - I had lost 89 of the 150 I needed to lose in 25 weeks. I think your losses are very similiar pace to mine - our bodies are not machines and lose the way you lose. (I stopped tracking when I got to goal, but I did keep losing) While that surgeon is an ass, at least they are paying attention to you. What i would probably do is ask specifically what you should do differently. My NUT would review myfitness pal records with you (back when i used to track). Perhaps they have some helpful suggestions. This conversation needs to move away FROM criticism TO constructive support.

1 cup of a Pasta dish is way too much in my opinion until you are at least a year out. Early months you should be in the quarter to half cup range. I can eat pasta as I am like the majority that have no food restrictions after the first few months post sleeve.

Dumping is usually temporary. . First year post op...so you are rolling the dieice to count on it. I had the band 10 years. It is much more restriction than the sleeve but I ended up weighing over 300 pounds. I have been successful maintaining a healthy weight post sleeve. The key to appetite control now that I am 3 years out is eating a certain way..following the rules. Some people are open to that message and others have the view that they had WLS so they don't need to diet ever again ..good luck with that! Even "naturally" trim people watch what they eat. I don't really know what to say. There are varying degrees of "success " with any WLS. Pick a surgeon with an excellent track record, get educated, get a support system in place and become one of the success stories. There are a bunch of them.

My tastes really changed but it was temporary. I went through a phase where eating was work, everything tasted wrong. .kinda metallic. I could not drink plain water and switched to herbal tea. It was all temporary and I think helped me get over food.

I think you just received very excellent advice on the practical considerations. My opinion is this -- you should have tried everything reasonable to get your weight under control before resorting to surgery. i sense you have. I could lose weight when I was your age too - always regained it, but at least i could lose it! I reached a point where I only gained. Obesity robbed me of so many wonderful things - and I didn't realize how cheated I was until I attained a normal/healthy size/weight. In hindsight, i wished i had the sleeve or bypass ages ago, but I guess it wasn't my journey. I can't tell you what the right decision is, but rather than just focus on the surgical risks/issues, balance against the reality of remaining obese. I was out of control freaked out by having part of my stomach removed. The only reason I mustered the courage because it was obvious that at the weight I was at I had 100% chance of early death with a likely sidetrip through disability (I was already partially there). It was hard to argue those sort of facts. Risk of leaks is maybe 1-2%. Risk of death from bariatric surgery is similar to other surgeries like gallbladder removal, low. Risk of having your life inconvenienced by having to eat differently, feeling like crap those early weeks and months are probably about 100% too, but very temporary. Only you can do the assessment for your own situation. I wished I could have maintained a healthy weight without surgery, but I have a disease called obesity that I could not manage without help. I am a normal weight now, but still have the underlying medical condition of obesity so must remain ever vigilent. I am guessing you posted from a tablet or phone (my kindle won't let me type on the first post either) so you probably cant see profiles. If you can, click on mine to see before and afters to get the gist. I am about half my former size and living a life about 10X bigger.

Sizes have changed. When I was quit fit in college, I never got smaller than a 9/10 even though I was smaller than I am now and i now wear in the 2-8 pant range. Different brands are way different sizes. I have a couple of non stretch jeans - one is a size 4, the other is a size 8. The 8 is perhaps 1/2" bigger around the waist... but they both essentially fit the same. When I buy true designer brands (recent find at a consignment shop for example) i wear a much bigger size than the vanity sizing. There is a certain store filled with "00" sizes - haha - no wonder I fit their size 2s as the size inflation /vanity sizing is off the hook at that place. Anyway, I am finally to the point where i don't think quite so much about size, I go by what fits me but I do like to stay single digit. It offends me sometimes to wear something marked I size I think I should be smaller than, but it is what it is. Anyway, it is very realistic for you to get to a size 10 if that is what you desire. I am 50. At my very biggest I was in 32W. Pre Sleeve I was in the 26W range but frankly stuffed into them. Now, I wear something generally single digit, but as I described above, it is all over the board. I am smaller on the bottom then the top now since I lost my huge gut, my overall profile has really changed.

So, I am assuming you don't have undiagnosed acid reflux. Just a reminder, you don't necessarily need to be choking on food or feeling heartburn to have reflux. It can sometimes feel like a very vague (for me slight burning) sensation that feels better with food... and kinda reminds you of hunger. If you have any doubt, go on a PPI for a few weeks and see if it helps. The first thing is to make sure you are LITERALLY eating Protein first. Example, I thought it was great that i was having salmon patty with salad but when I did my 3 year tune up with the NUT I told her I sometimes felt hungry in an hour or two after the meal which didn't make sense based on the quantity. She said, eat at least half the salmon before digging into the lettuce. I'll be dang if that didn't work! Also, make sure you are Water loading between meals. So, example, you ate 1-2 hours ago, it is not quite time to eat, but you are feeling that "desire". Drink alot of water. You will feel temporarily full and it will help you extend out a bit longer. It will also keep you hydrated. A state of hydration helps you manage hunger IN GENERAL. When you do have a meal, you want to keep portions small, but they need to be big enough to actually satiate. One of the balancing acts post sleeve is to eat "just enough, not too little and not too much". Problem is if you don't achieve satiation, you are looking to graze too soon again and that will definately interfere with effectiveness of the sleeve. If you don't log your food (my fitness pal or similiar) try it. Make note of hunger patterns you might find there are triggers. Example, I found out that eating fruit as a stand alone snack makes me hungry - it is the sugar in them. Every NUT is slightly different, but mine advises having 5 mini meals a day, spaced 2-3 hours apart. They have a very interestingdetailed explanation about how getting "too hungry" (even if you don't feel hunger) can create boomerang effects of over eating even way later in the day. Also, the reason they say mini meals is that all meals should be nutritional. We eat so little in the first months that you can't be using "snack" as an excuse to eat something like popcorn (not saying you do this - just the advice I was given). FULL DISCLOSURE: I don't do 5 mini meals. I tried it and during weight loss phase it was too much - I switched to 4 after discussion with NUT. In maintenance, I tend to eat more intuitely so i eat differently based on heavy workout, etc. However, the basic advice is sound and you maybe need to play with what works best for you. Finally, watch for the secret culprits disguised as healthy food. In my experience, highly processed food should be limited for lots of reasons but the number one is that they are not as satisfying as real food. If you are hooked on Protein Bars, for example, try eliminating them. Yeah, they have protein, but they also have alot of calories and carbs and speaking for myself, I was abusing them by having maybe 2 a day for awhile there. Even 3 years out, I watch those sneaky suckers - they keep wanting to be my surogate snickers bar if I let them... This isn't easy always, there may be head hunger or emotional issues involved, but I genuinely believe that most sleevers can "control" their hunger by their eating and drinking habits. I am 3 years out, my hunger has returned for sure, and I have let it get the best of me at times, but i am maintaining my weight loss without dying of hunger by following the stuff i mentioned above. Everytime I wonder if my sleeve will help me maintain, it does the job once I do my part.

It took me 14 months to reach my goal. I lost very well the last 3. I hit some doldrums about 7-8 months post op and it was recommitting to the basics that got me back on track. I found compliance at 14 months no more difficult than at say 10 months. I think it is wise to recognize that it is good to "take advantage" of the early months and first year - as you definately have decreased hunger and capacity early on- BUT contrary to what you sometimes read, your surgey does not have an expiration date. I promise you that if you keep "working the sleeve" you will do fine. I personally think putting too many time boxes on weight loss is part of my old "all or nothing - either on a diet or off" mindset that i don't subscribe to anymore. We are in this for a lifetime people - and maintenance isn't THAT different than losing except I certainly allow myself more restaurant meals, carbs etc.

How far out are you, how much have you lost, how much to get to goal? I ask these questions because my suggestoins will vary slightly depending on how "mature" your sleeved tummy is.

Okay, my NSV for the weekend. The owner of the dance club, who started giving me lessons (once he started talking to me, everyone else did too - translating to English etc - really fun) said "you have the perfect body... and hair for salsa" I know a pick up line when I heard one - but it was really great coming from a handsome latin guy who could dance like no one's business! It was so fun to dance in a club with Cuban people - they were all doing true salsa not just flinging around on the dance floor like you see at many dance floors. I can't wait to go back! (but maybe I should take a few "real" lessons...haha) Denise - are you getting out of the hospital today? continuing to heal? This is such an ordeal - what are you about 3 months since your back surgery? I believe it will all be fine and you will return to normal but what an unplanned side trip! Keep your chin up!