CowgirlJane

I was 47.... 50 now. I am so much younger now!!! Lots of people are in the middle decades when they get WLS

Denise, did the second surgery help? Is the infection clearing up? I am worried about you beautiful lady. I would be depressed too, but you have to keep visualizing being fully recovered, painfree and healthy. Your mind is so powerful...use it to make yourself believe in a full recovery. I am the queen of netflix benders....sometimes I like to just zone out and it is my guilty pleasure. Tell me what kind of shows you like and I can recommend some. Warning, I have a thing for black comedy, British shows and documentaries.... Well, I have lost the weight I regained while sick. At 156. I do believe I will see 140s sometime in 2015...Haha....or at least close enough! It's wonderful that my clothes aren't so tight. That 160 thing is pushing it.... I belong in the 145-155 range! Heading out to ride!

It sounds corny, but Star Trek changed the world. I think I watched in reruns but I had a crush on Pavel Checkov character, but Spock was my hero. He was my idea of an adventuresome scientist, loyal and loving friend. I often wonder if part of the appeal to the character was the emotional control. My father behaved like a bratty 2 year old, so the idea of a man who was just so...steady.. it was amazing to me as a child. I never trusted that womanizing Kirk dude..Haha...kind of high drama if you ask me. Live long and Prosper Leonard.

I am so happy for you! It's just wonderful to feel normal, shapely,attractive and you deserve it! That was my shape..all gut. Oh and broad shoulders too....peachy. The larger implant takes up some of the extra skin I guess. Mine do have independent suspension but I wear bras anyway cuz my momma told me to. That and I would risk the high beam situation. I do like it that I can wear a backless dress or something and be able to go without...and I find camo for the high beams.

I can navigate around pretty well from my laptop, but from my kindle or phone...it's hit and miss..haha. Anyway, I had a couple of recent experiences that sort of shook my confidence. They are each very small... but I noticed I they have introduced a bit of fear/hesitation in me on the dating topic. Okay, story one. Last year I went to a Halloween party/costume contest. I was dressed as Xena and just for the note, was by far NOT the most revealing costume there. However, I do admit that some of the other very revealing costumes (belly dancer etc) were not worn by people who were fit/trim so in some ways I did stand out. Everything was fun, I was among friends and everyone was just dancing and having a good time. Well, a guy I didn't know was really obnoxious, grabby and stuff and when he would not take NO for an answer, i just left. I didn't think much about it until I was out with a girlfriend on Valentines day. This guy comes up and talks to us and he was fine, pleasant, low key... until he says "Jane, you don't remember me but I was the guy who creeped you out on Halloween when you were dressed like Xena. I am pretty sure I was the reason you left early". I was astounded he brought it up and then when he did - I was astounded there was no apology or excuse making... simply a statement of fact. Then, he asks me out to which i declined. didn't think too much about it until about 2 weeks later a completely unrelated event... I have a hidden profile on a dating site. I decided I am ready to start trying again since my relationship ended a few months ago. I was corresponding with someone and we were in fact planning on meeting for an intro coffee date the following day when I get messages that were absolutely insane rants. It took me awhile to figure it out but bottom line he accused me of "playing him, cheating on him" etc because he stalked/watched my log ins to the dating site. Yes,I was logging in to check email, including responding to his, and to see if there was anyone else I might want to meet. Apparently, this weirdo thought that agreeing to meet for coffee was some sort of long term committment and that I was cheating on him by simply logging into the website. I blocked him both online and on my phone (luckily my phone does not display my name in caller ID) because if he watches me and weirds out about logging into a website he is NOT my type. Anyway, I am pretty self confident, I take precautions, sensible and experienced with watching out for myself (world traveler, including much solo business travel etc. so I am tuned in to surroundings etc) but these two incidents have suddenly made me feel very very uncomfortable about dating/meeting new people. I am very social, I do stuff with groups of people but it is hard to find someone to date. Okay, I am probably too picky but I am going to be really honest - in your 50s alot of guys are pretty unfit and not able to join the lifestyle I want to live right now. I am active in meetups but the "going out" ones i never date from because I haven't met anyone that is super interesting... but more importantly I feel like SOME of the guys use them as pick up scenes and that isn't my deal so i just stay out of it. anyway, it leaves me wondering ... if i am burned out on online dating, don't really want to change my fun but low key social relationships in my meetup groups - how on earth DO I find someone to date and ideally enter a relationship with??? Maybe this should have been in the rants section....

Well, went on a first date last night that proves there is intelligent life out there. We are going horseback riding today. Maybe I just needed to rant. Of course who knows what will come of it but it's a good start.

You would think that being sick would make me lose my appetite. Starting a few days ago, I have a cold, mild fever and I am crazy hungry! i decided yesterday to eat more than normal as i feel it is my body telling me it needs more to heal. I am curious if anyone else has noticed this? Other than some digestion issues, i am sick so much less since being sleeved 3 years ago - it's great and incredible. This cold isn't much fun, but I seem to have moved out of the chills into just coughing so I am okay.

Insurance aside (I didn't stand a chance) my advice is to look at lots and lots of before and after results when choosing a plastic surgeon. There is a great deal of "art" to this. Look for bodies that are "similiar". I noticed when I was researching that some surgeons cherry pick awesome results to post on their marketing websites, but what really tells the story is a full body of work. One surgeon I met with - when I looked at her book of results they were quite underwhelming. another had books that covered two decades and the way she talked about changing her techniques, and addressing different body types, and her incredible results we very confidence inspiring. In the end, i couldn't afford her, but, my point is there really is a difference between surgeons.

Ava, hide your profile, that cuts the creep factor way back... way back. The prince charming I mentioned above was one i picked...lol. I used to get emails from men the age of my sons (what is up with this cougar obsession anyway?) or from out of state... but no worries they are willing to travel (seriously?) and then the catagory you mention as well. I DO activities. I hike, I go to social events, I go to tons of horse related stuff, i go dancing, I listen to live music. The horse world is 90% female and the remaining 10% men I encounter are either in a relationship with a woman I know or are renouned womanizers - its a small world and I am not diving into that pool... I get asked out alot but men like younger women so i tend to get approached by men way older than me. I don't actually care about age - what I care about is can you keep up with me! I also get asked out alot by men who I am pretty sure are only interested in a physical relationship. I have no shortage of opportunities in that sense, but it isn't really the opportunity I am seeking. Example, the Valentines night I was actually asked out by 3 different guys. El creepo was the first. The second was a bartender who by the way was super tall handsome and clearly youthful, but i knew it was not going to be relationship potential and I am not looking for a playmate only. The 3rd was the owner of a bar/restaurant who gave me salsa lessons. When I go to his place again, if he asks me when he is not intoxicated, I would say yes... but ... you know what are the odds of that happening...lol So, it's not so easy out there and I probably reject situations too quickly but I can only respond to my gut instincts about people. Perhaps a more basic question is what is it that I do that attracts attention ... but the wrong type? I have modified how I dress to hide my body more, i have a stellar reputation in my social circles in the sense that i don't "hook up" - and yet - that is what the "opportunities" the universe keeps sending me. I even asked for feedback from some female aquaintances that I go out with. They had little advice as they seem to have the same experience. BTW, I WANT a fully intimate relationship... but relationship is the key word here.

I never had reflux until I had a lapband. I could not keep any Fluid in it - I had elevated head of my bed, didnt eat close to bedtime, took pills etc and with the band, my reflux was actually not tolerable. It was scary revising to sleeve, BUT what i knew is that with no fluid in band I was okay and the 3 months after band was removed - no reflux - so i took that chance with the sleeve. 3 years out and KNOCK ON WOOD I don't suffer from reflux. If you have a known, chronic problem with reflux, think very very hard about the band or sleeve as they can both cause reflux problems. It seems the RNY is a better choice. A comment about weight loss statistics.... that is an average across large populations. Many of us DID lose 100% of our excess and keeping it off so those things are possible but may require extraordinary efforts.

Were you given post op instructions? I wasn't even eating that kind of food two weeks out, but I looked through my old instruction manual and noted that as I was introducing soft/mushy foods I made a note that 1/4 cup is PLENTY (that is 4 tablespoons I believe). I often ate LESS than 1/4 cup at a sitting. I am 3 years out and was told that 1-1.5 cup is PLENTY. In truth,I can eat more than that of food that mashes up/compresses. I don't think I would want to try eating that much of dense Protein though. So, over time, your tummy matures. Eating "small" remains a really good idea though and helps you maintain. This is why some of us lecture endlessly about protein first, veggies next ... and seriously, do you really have room for the rest in that first year? I DO eat all foods, and don't place food restrictions on myself so can enjoy special occasions etc. but my daily routine is pretty similar to what we were all told to eat....protein, veggies and then... do you really have room for anything else while "eating small"?

I completely relate. I mean, I was looking at photos of my lifetime high (was around 350#) and now I weigh about 155. The physical and appearance transformation is astounding for me to process, so i can imagine it was/is for others too. What has been helpful to me though is see it positively. I think we sometimes feel that people "should have loved me for who I was even at 350#" but in truth maybe they did! They just didn't always know how to relate, I mean I was terribly obese, in physical and emotional pain and when i am self honest about, sometimes closed off and distant to people. It's amazing I had so many friends, work colleagues and even family who included me in social events, who tried to make my physical limits fit into their world etc. As I lost weight and changed, although it often came out less than gracefully, they were genuine expressions of joy, happiness, pride in my accomplishments AND amazement of what was hiding under all that fat. I feel the same way! In fact, if I were to be even more honest, these people have been much much less cruel to me then I was to myself. They were celebrating for me even when I felt still fat and ugly. they helped me with the "how I see myself" changes because of their honest reflection. So, I encourage others to try this same path... try to have some understanding of what it must be like to witness this kind of transformation, not really know the right thing to say but to still have some caring for the person as a human being. If you can turn around some of the messaging in your own head and give people the benefit of the doubt it will benefit you too. Of course, some people are unlucky enough to have genuinely mean people in their lives, but I have to believe that is a 2% problem, is usually other obese women. My thin friends, colleagues and aquaintances have been my best cheerleaders. I did have a couple of things happen at work that could have been uncomfortable. I was invited to a senior executive "meet and greet" and a fellow invitee freaked out and accidently blurted out how I looked so great, how did I lose the weight etc. Well, I was at a cocktail party meet and great and all eyes (executive) turned to me and I was suddenly in the spotlight. I kept it together and while answering basic questions steered the conversation to my motivation for change rather than other gnarly details... and it became part of a business conversation... how big life events etc can change the course. It worked and my boss later heard back that I really impressed a couple of the guys that heard my little story. Another time, a senior executive (stick skinny female BTW) who has known me for 10 years came up to me after I had been at maintenance for awhile... she said "I have seen lots of people lose huge amounts of weight, but you have kept it off for a year now, great job, you have this figured out - you can do this"... and she walked away. That was one of the nicest compliments EVER. It was true - I did lose HUGE amounts and i don't need that sugar coated. It was also true that maintenance turns out to be the biggest challenge for many. I had one work colleague be very weird about my transformation but what i realized is she had gained massive weight during that same time and she was going through something inside I couldn't see so i decided to just... let it go even though it was a little upsetting at the time. That was one out of dozens and dozens of very positive experiences.

If your surgeons purpose is shrinking a fatty liver you will normally get a 2 week low carbohydrate plan. I followed mine diligently because I was terrified of surgical complications but it was hard. I think other surgeons use it to jump start weight loss or to make us suffer -not sure- and there is alot of variation.

@Alex I just deleted about half dozen fresh duplicates. You want them reported instead so they can be I investigated?

Ross Dress for Less. Ial so switched to dresses more w h Ile losing.

@Alex I think there is a glitch here. A person that I thought was posting to a million forums to get answers did not intend to do that. what happened was from the phone it kept telling her that it failed/didn't post so she kept trying different places to post. It wasnt until seeing it on the computer that she realized that in spite of the error messages they were actually posting. Even though my name says host, the only forum I can do anything in is the veterans forum so I am not really sure what is possible in terms of putting stuff in right forums. I guess I am generally tolerant of miscatagorization but the duplicate posts issue has really increased in the last month or two.. so I do think it is something going on with the site.

Well, I think it is clear there are lots of tactless people out there. So, here is a funny... most of the people I work with don't see me as we work in virtual teams. I made a trip to one of our locations and a guy i have known (we had met several times!) for years didn't recognize me. when my boss told him - that's XXX he replied in a very loud and animated voice "holy s**t, (my name) you are HOT!" I blushed, it was a little embarrassing but to this day I recognize that as the moment when I started to see myself as something different than a frumpy obese, middle aged woman... that was a genuine, uncensored, no brain involvement compliment! haha I Iove that stuff.

Yeah, I think it is a glitch or something. I THINK that the setting of the dates is a policy thing of your surgical center. Here is what happened to me. I was approved for band removal, but I was too chicken to be sleeved. Had the band removal in Sept 2011, and then in I think November found out my insurance was changing and beginning Jan 2012 - sleeve would no longer be an option and I would have to go bypass if I wanted insurance. I got off my butt and pushed for December. Due to vacations etc December had fewer surgeons available, so they put me on the schedule to save my spot (with a BMI about 52 and my history they were pretty confident in getting approval) before I had final approval from the insurance company. I was sleeved Dec 11, 2011 and to this day I thank the insurance company for forcing me to get my rear in gear... and save my life! anyway, I would talk to your docs office if you have any concerns about it.

I want to share that this is so important. Most people have less restriction as time goes on. I got sick with the flu/fever and was SO HUNGRY I felt like I could eat endlessly. i felt so sick I was just eating whatever.. cold Cereal, a piece of bread, whatever. anyway, as soon as I went back to eating properly...voila... it was like the sleeve worked again! I am 3 years from my revision so I am simply sharing this experience so you realize you are not alone, this is true of MANY of us. I mostly want to comment on the final paragraph though. Isn't it just a joy, blessing and pleasure to be able to eat salads, raw veggies, steak etc - you know, normal food - without fear of getting stuck, eyes watering, horrible puking? I LOVE having a smaller, less hungry tummy that seems to function pretty close to the way a normal stomach should work. For me, the sleeve is what I had hoped the band would be, but just didn't work that way for me. For the first time in decades, I feel normal.

Well, I know some of them are intentional cross posts because I actually investigated one of them (I think a mod did remove some of them later) and the same message was in 6 different forums. I admit, those are the ones that irritate me the most because i do really try to respond to newbies sometimes too (frankly most vets don't) and when i have to sift through all that I am less inclined to try. I am also sure most of it is simply a hiccup... and they are unintended multiple posts. . Jamie, I like your suggestion - perhaps making it directly to Alex as a possible enhancement to the site would help with some of this?

You have lost almost 50# including your preop losses - looking pretty good to me!!! our bodies are not machines, and we don't lose uniformly so to some extent, you have to just follow instructions, and take it on faith that it works. One month post op i had lost 36 pounds BUT that includes the weight l lost preop. I don't know if 550 is the right calories for you but I was just reviewing my old program materials for that phase. I wasn't given calorie targets, but eyeballing the quantity. frequency and suggested foods, I think i was in the 500-700 range.

This gives you an idea of my results. My thighs could be much improved, BUT, I did not have the long thigh lift - I had the groin incision only. Sometimes I think I should have gone with the long thigh lift since my arms are tight and firm post lift and I could have similiar on my thighs. anyway, i went to Dr Sauceda in Mexico and had a very positive experience. Recovery from major plastics is no joke though - you are right to take it seriously. (correction, my before picture was from late 2011 - that is a typo)

Well, we have had such a mild winter it seems hard to even call it winter... but I have a trip planned to a sunny climate in a few weeks. I think it really helps if you can swing something like that! I got a really bad flu and was housebound for 5 days. i didn't get depressed, but, I didn't like it! You have my empathy for sure!

The way the sleeve works, you may not "feel" things accurately the first 6-8 weeks. Nerves are cut and take time to heal. I was advised to measure, and eat by the clock those early months. For me, my maximum "appetite control" was in the 2-7 month post op range. I think it is important to note that the sleeve does not rely as much on "restriction" as the band. It is more like you have a normal stomach that is way smaller and has less hunger. It isn't that "tight/pain" kind of feeling many experience with the band. I counsel anyone to practice the exercise of not "seeking full" but rather seeking "not hungry" once you are past those initial healing weeks

Okay, so I have a better idea now. It is not that she can only eat mushy, but just in general she has major food intolerances. There are probably people here who have much more experience with this, but about a year ago (which would have been 2 years post revision to sleeve) I went through a time when I couldn't eat due to no appetite. I didn't puke, it was just that everything made me naseaus. I thought it was a physical problem, but it actually turned out to be more emotional in nature, and once I STOPPED eating, getting restarted was a challenge. It is like once the tummy is used to undereating, you become prone to eating less and less. It is ironically much like overeating.... so what started as an emotional upset became a physical issue for me. Since I didn't have a mecanical reason for my issue, i had to "work at it" and did recover and and am doing awesome now. Okay, DGL Licorice is a soothing herbal remedy you can buy at Vitamin Shoppe etc for about 10 bucks. They are these big tablets that you bite into a couple of pieces (meaning, a few crunches) and then tuck between your lip and gum and just slowly let it melt. It coats your throat, and tummy in a soothing way. It doesn't instantly fix things, but it just calms things down... I used them 1-2 a day when i was feeling naseaus. over time, it made a huge difference and I keep them on hand even now. the other thing I did was find the circumstances/food that I could tolerate and started by carefully eating those. In my case, the key to the root cause of my problems were that I could eat fairly well if I was out with friends, it was being home alone when I simply could not eat. Well, I started going out more so I could get some food in every day. In your wife's case, perhaps just very gently eating the things that seem more appealing. If toasted waffles work i will speculate that crackers perhaps with a bit of cheese or Peanut Butter might work? I think toasted bread, crackers and stuff has a texture that is likely easier than raw bread type products. I suspect raw veggies are hard to eat. Maybe soft fish is edible? I would also seriously try to find a palatable Protein drink or make homemade smoothies. sometimes people can drink more nutrition and calories than they can eat. Example might be a greek yogurt, fruit based drink with perhaps a bit of unflavored Protein powder in. If she can tolerate peanut butter, that adds fats and calories too. Warning: in my early months peanut butter made me sick because it is so rich, so go easy at first. Has she tried Protein Bars? i avoid them in general because for me they go down too easy (but they helped me when i was struggling with eating). I wonder if she finds a wonderful tasting one she can kind of slowly munch on them? They often are very dense in calories and carbs in addition to the protein. I hope others with food intolerances pipe in with ideas!