CowgirlJane

Well, I am deciding to not complain because i am still under goal! It is just hard when you used to be skinnier! Except for one pair of jeans, all my clothes fit, but they looked better a few pounds lighter. I am so happy right now it doesn't matter too much, but like Denise i notice stuff that should fit loose don't because I am not working out. Good news is the physical therapy is working it's magic again and as soon as I am not working a zillion hours i can go back to kickboxing..woohoo! I am 3 years and 3 months. I will turn 51 in June. Maintenance is getting harder. I am really spending energy on thinking positive about all that. I don't think i express often enough the plain ole joy I feel at the life i live now. tonight I went dancing and some drunk asshole I danced with actually yelled out to one of the tables "Hey Dave, Jim - LOOK" and pointed at me as though I were a prize fish he'd reeled in. While it was a jerk thing to do , it did remind me that maybe I am OK at 155ish. (Scott is busy with his little girl for awhile and so I decided to go visit my old dancing friends that I haven't seen in awhile). Thank goodness my old regular dance partner showed up and we both noticed I am seriously rusty! Crap.

Don't do it behind his back. That is toxic.

I am going to assume that he is behaving like an idiot-ass because he does not understand obesity. Example, it is well known that you can "eat your way" through ANY exercise program. The key is food. The problem is once you are obese, that fat triggers even more hunger so it is very very difficult. I have no idea your stats (weight, BMI etc) but I assume you are at least 100# overweight if you are considering surgery. I strongly suggest mediation/couples counseling because you two don't even have a common understanding of the problem.

Kim, I know how painful that is. My old lab mix is 13, his eyes are clear, his coat is nice but his arthritis is terrible. I have to put rugs on hard floors everywhere he walks or his hind end just does the splits. We have a tiny step from the deck to the lawn and he can barely make it. He weighs 100# so not like carrying him is an option. I feel a little resentment that he was the family dog, but like most other responsibilities, his end of life decision falls on me. am sorry you are really going through this now. I took Scott to my friend Tom's birthday party last night. I had bought my friend a small flowering shrub (blue snowball bush!) for his birthday which he was surprisingly delighted with. We were there to sit around the campfire so were outdoors anyway and Scott and my friend Tom immediately went to work planting that shrub. It was a great start. They are all bigger rednecks than i am so it was an evening of telling hunting, horse riding and power tool stories...ha! We had fun and the party moved indoors. Suzy fell asleep on my lap about 9 and i finally had to pipe up and break up the party since I start work so darn early... they have made plans to tan a freaking deer hide together and I am doing a girls night at the gun range at the end of the month. Scott loved it - everybody hit it off with him as he is our people!

@@Rogofulm Thank you for being the one man "dreaded 3 week stall" campaign! It's awesome Only thing to add is that once you are maintaining your new trim figure, you won't even remember stalls etc... take the long view and this stuff just doesn't matter!

You know what hit me after I posted. Wow, what a blessed life I have that my friends chase me down to meet the new beau... what I mean by that is that I have such a supportive and loving social circle. These ladies want the very best for me and as Mary says "rooting for me" in all things in life - maintaining my weight, finding lasting love, retiring early..all things horse related..whatever. I am lucky! Tonight, Scott and i are going to a casual Birthday doings for a guy friend of mine. Well, I am friends with him and his girlfriend, in fact my horses are currently vacationing at his house. Scott and i were planning on having a solo evening as we won't see each other for about 2 weeks due to his daughter being in town, but it is a huge priority for him to meet my friends AND it is a huge priority for me to "show up" for my friend. The birthday boy is going through a low emotional time and doesn't want a birthday bash, so a low key sit around the campfire with a small group is nice. Last minute - I gotta find a gift by tonight...yikes!!!

Swizz, Denise is on the mend. I am sure she will post. I feel for what she has been through. Michigan chic and bethinpa have both been dealing with post plastics complications for months and will likely need revisions. It is odd that i feel a bit of guilt. I did the crazy ass go to Mexico and have jumbo procedures done at once. Recovery was hard but I was horseback riding and skiing at 3 months post op. Michigan has an open wound....and I think its been half a year. If I had had that I would have blamed my wreckless decision...and those ladies did the USA based staged surgeries. Not sure my point really but it does make me reflect on luck of the draw....and maybe post op rest? The new beau met more of my friends. It was supposed to be just Mary but word got out and 2 more showed up. Scott was perfect and I think enjoyed the henfest haha. He passed. I am going to share a very personal issue. I saw Steven several months ago. We never ended things..I just let it fade to background because he has a big business related crisis and it stresses me to be around him when he has drama. Anyway I know I need to tell him to not call me again, regardless of what happens with Scott but I feel stress over the idea. It's like I am fine not seeing him (even before I met Scott I was not seeing him) but the IDEA of never seeing him gives me angst. I think it is because he was so influential in shaping how I see mself (I mean that very positively) . I think in some crazy ass way he has been a father figure who actually treated me like I matter when mine didn't. Maybe I am blowing smoke- I don't know why I feel this draw actually. I need to separate permanently but it stresses me to visualize it. I decided I will face it after costa rica because I wonder if I will go through a funk as a result. If I feel like crap I'd rather be where my support network is. Life is great overall but works sucks right now and one of my best pals is severely depressed and another is losing her mind during a bad divorce. It drains me to be there for them but I am managing and balancing my needs too. I realize I am much stronger than I was and those two friends were there for me when I needed it.

I am sorry..I thought I was in a sleeve forum. Disregard my comments as I don't know if this applies to bypass.

To regain some how about going back to tried and true yet healthier things. Fat and carbs are an awesome weight gaining combo. How about Protein drinks mixed with milk and Peanut Butter. Eat nuts a few times a day. Drink milk, eat some Pasta covered in cheese some times. Your type 2 diabetes is not improved by your weight loss? If I were you I'd get some medical tests done. You got to goal really fast by my standards. Really fast for a woman. I'd want to know why since good health is key.

Thank .you ladies for mentioning me. I sound like a bragging snot but I scream my success from the rooftop so that others know what might be possible. Fight for your health and lifestyle by reaching a healthy Weight.

Ha- here is MY update. I long ago settled on POF (match was the worst by far in my experience. Did you know that match has more women than men?) Anyway, I had NO problem getting initial dates, but serious relationship prospects were few and far between - both from my liking them that much as well as their intentions. I did meet some nice men, but, ya know, there is more to it then that. I gave myself a deadline that I was quitting ALL of it the end of February because I just felt I was wasting time and tired of it all. anyway, late Feb I met someone who is part geek/part sophisticated urbanite and majority redneck (outdoorsy, hunts, fishes, rides horses, backpacks, hikes etc). It was like meeting my male counterpart (ok, I don't hunt but you know what I mean)...omg. I have known him less than a month, but haven't felt this relaxed and comfortable with someone ... well... in a very long time. He is a very decent man, and has a lifestyle I can relate to and he thinks I am the bees knees. He is fit, attractive, kind, warm and really really wants a serious relationship in his life. We hit it off big time. We are less than a month into it, but my POF account is DELETED. We have discussed that it takes all four seasons to really know a person, but this feels really good ... who knows where it will lead, but both of our intentions and desires align...keeping fingers crossed!

This thread has caused me to reflect on my own process and I realized something. At some moment, I realized that "normal" was just an idea I needed to let go of. This didn't happen in an instant, and I recognize it may not be the same for everyone... but I just don't even have the same idea about food and meals that I used to. I can't fathom (anymore) calling a happy meal either happy, or a meal. This was one of the key reasons i "failed" with the band. I didn't understand how fundamentally I needed to shift to find lasting weight loss.

I was an obese child too. I did get trim in my early 20s and wore a bigger size than I do now, but i was actually smaller or same size. Sizes have changed. At 22, I weighed about 140-145 and wore size 9/10. I now weigh about 155 and wear 6/8 range pants. I don't think i am slimmer now, I think vanity sizing kicked in...

I am eternally grateful for stumbling across a surgical practice, that you are absolutely right were good surgeons who realized there was money to be made in WLS, BUT who invested in the understanding about obesity. Those surgeons educated me. One of the most caring things a medical person ever said to me...when I was bawling about what a failure I was at over 300# and the surgeon who removed my band took my hand and said "you know you have a disease process called obesity that drives your hunger and your physical responses. It's not your fault you need surgical help to beat this." I have never felt so respected as a fat woman. ever.

Shelby, your situation sounds really complicated. I mean, you have had very serious physical problems. I can't quite follow how that has anything to do with anerexia. I am admittedly biased AGAINST many of the mainstream counseling people based on past experiences. I saw a counselor who was alledgedly an expert in obesity and frankly never believed me that I was actually physically hungry all the time presleeve. I WAS! That is what advanced obesity does to you. So, the uninformed try to turn physical problems into mental ones. She kept implying I was lying - that I hadn't told her all my deep dark secrets and childhood woes (I had). I almost felt like I needed to make up a better story to explain my obesity - it was freaking weird. I am in no position to guess what your situation really is but i encourage you to seek help from qualified professionals, get your physical problems sorted out and while there may be emotional/mental issues too - it is pretty hard to address them when you are essentially recovering from your complications. Good luck to you - hope you get to the bottom of this all. ps i did later find a great counselor who I saw last year (well after reaching goal) to help me process some big life changes related to weight loss, changing relationships etc.

Seeing tickers and siggy is important to me because it gives context for their question/comment. I have no problems on laptop using Firefox. My kindle uses ES and if I make a new post, it is invisible to me as I am typing. So, what I do is make a post and then reply to it with my actual post. I haven't tested this in awhile to see if it is fixed. My phone I use the app and really dislike it. Besides the missing profile info it's harder to navigate. Firefox did some updates over the last week and it seems quite stable on my laptop anyway.

I was banded when I lived in Germany in 2001. I had trouble finding good follow up care when I returned in 2002 but by 2011 it was not a problem. My Bariatric COE has been so good and caring! I had my band removed September 2011; sleeved Dec 11, all covered by insurance .. maintaining huge loss for 2 years?

I was banded in 2001 and have two proof points that the band was not intended to be permanent. 1. Statement in the brochure an 2. The "statement " I had to sign acknowledging the temporary nature. This was in Germany and a few months before FDA approval in the USA.

I had extensive plastics...lower body lift (tummy tuck with butt lift) breast and arms. I didn't really experience much surgical pain. I was heavily medicated first 3 days in clinic then did ok with Tylenol. Recovery was HARD though. Energy low, six weeks off work etc. However I started exercising about 8 weeks out and was skiing and horse back riding by 12 weeks.

Stacey, I have read several of your posts.... and I have a good feeling about you! I sense how ready you are to transform your life, your health...who knows what the future holds...it is so exciting!

Okay, my tummy couldn't handle booze so soon after surgery. I tried a few sips of red wine about 4-5 months post op and it burned... I waited till I was at goal in all honesty but I had alot to lose and felt that sense of urgency to take advantage of the "honeymoon" period to get to goal. Now, when i go out, if I drink it is typically a vodka/soda/lime. Yes, some carbonation, but the mixer doesn't have sugar carbs in it. I also have it in a tall tall glass so it lasts me a long time - I have one drink usually. Then, I chose to go to places that have GOOD apps, not deep fried, but things like shrimp skewers, or other "clean food". I eat it bascially as my dinner, and NOT chips or fries.

Well, I think some of the requirements for surgery are onerous. I had very few hoops to jump through and am grateful for it. I had enough practice "dieting" and was highly motivated to know that I could do that. What I needed help with was not being so hungry.... and guidance on how to eat and live differently. I got those things, but it wasn't complicated. BTW, the OP has made about 19 posts to this forum - 10 of which were this thread. Previous posts were all about insurance approval process including a statement that she would not fool with it if it wasn't immediately approved. So, okay, no problem - to each his own. I guess one might conclude that deciding whether or not to have surgery based on the ease of insurance approval might not be the ideal thought process - but we have our own paths to follow. What i don't follow is how that all turned into name calling. I personally am very supportive of someone giving it a try without surgery. I believe very deeply that is a more important part of the process than any insurance hoops... and the surgery is always still here for future reference And, I always hold out hope that people CAN achieve lasting weight loss without WLS since I know i would rather I could have done that.

I have been invited to apply (not the same as being offered the job) for an expatriate job at my company. It would mean moving to Europe - something I did for work 15 years ago and loved. I was very excited about it, the travel opportunities etc when i realized it would be a major derailment of my life trajectory. I have things i am still working out to be sure, but my life finally feels like it is going the right way, why mess it up? Besides, I already know that a high stress job helped me get to over 300#. We can say "it's different now"... yeah, it's different because i put ME ahead of work and not sure I could in that setting. Good to think these things through... i think i will just cough up the money for a European vacation and call it good..haha So things are going pretty good. My weight seems stuck in the mid 150sm which is truly just okay, but I still dream of wearing my smaller pants without having to worry about if they squeeze me too much. Really, just getting in the 145-150 range would do it for me, but it is very elusive. Okay, i am not trying that hard, and i am maintaining just fine. You know.. it is that wishful thinking deal. Things are going really great with the man I met a few weeks ago - seriously I met him right before my deadline of just giving up on the whole deal. He is something different than I have ever experienced before. Part geek with a big job at a tech company, part urban sophisticate with fine tastes in food and wine, but MOSTLY redneck cowboy who hunts, fishes, rides, makes his own beer, backpacks, travels, loves to cook and thinks cowgirls are awesome. We both deleted, not just hid, our crappy POF accounts and are giving this real life thing a serious whirl. Oddly though, I am more worried about him getting hurt then me, but I am giving this my "all in" and we shall see. I realize it may not work, but, I think he is worth trying for. What is funny is we have been spotted by his people a couple of times when we are out on dates. (he gets the text). I took him up to my little town and later I heard from people "so, how is it going with the new boyfriend?". It made me realize we must be looking at each other different because i have never heard this comment/question after being out on a date, or even with Kevin who I actually saw for 3 months. So, tonight he is meeting more of my friends and later in the week I am going to go to his office for lunch and meet his team as they are apparently quite interested in this redneck woman..hahaha

How you need to live immediately preop may not be a long term restriction. I don't habitually use straws, but at 3 years out, i haven't exploded from the occassional use either. It is hard - early on these small things seem so important. Over the long run, the sleeve is pretty easy to live with. I say this as someone who did NOT find the lapband easy to live with - 10 years of that.

I agree- decide to do it and then"own it" This is hard to understand after a history of failed diets that this really is different. It is a chance, not a guarantee, but a fighting chance to finally get the obesity disease under control. I had many doubts..many...but once committed I focused on"success" -reading inspiring stories, looking at before and after pix etc. At that point I stopped reading the doubt filled posts and just"went for the gold" You can do this.