myownjourney

I can't wait for people to not assume I'm single because of my weight and not the fact that I'm an a*****e To not always feel the need to be an a*****e because I refuse to be referred to as jolly

Ok I've been to my orientation ... Met with my surgeon and I have my nut class on Friday... I hope I can get it all done in time

So ... I'm going away to college in January ... I'm nervous because I want to get my surgery before then. I'm with kaiser and all their appointments are always scheduled weeks apart. Has anybody been with kaiser? If so how long did the whole process take?

If by top weight you mean heaviest then I'm 320 and the only goal I talked about with my doc was to lose 20 by October ... I was 315 when he said that so I'm trying to get to 295 I don't know what my ultimate goal should be.. I'm 5'10 and the healthy weight for someone my height is like 170 and I can't even imagine being that small lol

I can't wait to NOT feel guilty after every meal. I can't wait to not feel like hunger is some type of stepping stone to health. I can't wait to be able to say I'm fertile. I can't wait to not think that every little thing wrong with me is a symptom of diabetes ( I'm scared to death). I can't wait to not feel like I have to outdo most girls just to get noticed. I can't wait to not feel like every dude who likes me only likes me as a joke or because of some fetish. I can't wait to not have this faux confidence that I keep to make sure all my friends don't feel sorry for me when we go out to do things that normal people my age do. (but seriously ... I can't wait to go out with my friends all dolled up and sexy an not feel like a mascot ... I can't wait to be these b*****s competition) I love my friends ... But it's onnnn lol I can't wait to not feel like the guys who I think like me might be ashamed to be seen with me in public. I dread those stares so I mostly don't even go out anywhere ... Just Netflix at my home.

This thread is the reason I love this site ... You guys are saying things that I thought I experienced all by myself. I can't wait to not have this crippling fear of California summer. Extensive sweat and shorts and seeing girls in half tops ( ive accepted that I'll never be able to wear those lol) and not being able to wear that dress that shows my little waist but is upstaged by my gut ???? lol

I am also not going to miss people acting like any guy who likes me has some type of BBW fetish or acting like I should be fawning over a guy In appreciation of him finding me attractive

I'm tired of "oh you have a nice shape for a big girl" I'm also tired of people acting like I should behave like all the cliched big black women on tv. I would like for people to stop treating me like a freaks how attraction because of my size h breasts. I was at a party recently and this guy was dancing on me as a joke , then this random guy says "oh you better get that big bit**" ... There were so many problems with this situation 1. Like seriously dude??? I'm not one to call people names but the dude dancing on me was fugly and someone that I would never give the time of day 2. The little commentator had to be a Rick Ross impersonator 3. I ended up having to show my a** at that party and almost starting a riot. I am not going to miss people assuming that my standards are low because of my weight. I am not going to miss my weight being such a huge part of my identity according to other people. I would love for a day where I'm just me ... Not a fat me ... But a smart me, an educated me, and all other kinds of me. I am not going to miss people assuming that I'm funny and nice because I have to compensate for lack of beauty.

Well that's great !! Lol less money I have to spend on alcohol lol

Hey is anyone here at an out of state college or planning to go to an out of state college ... I'm supposed to be going to school a few weeks after my surgery and I would like to know how that environment affects weight loss or how the diet restrictions affects college life ( and drinking?)

Yeah it's crazy because just the other day she said that she'd support me ... I think the problem is that she thinks that me getting the surgery would prevent me from going to school in January. She lives in north carolina and I'm in California but I'm supposed to be moving out there in January and getting my surgery in December so it's cutting it close. But today I decided that I'm just not going to talk to her about it at all anymore. She thinks being tall and thin Is somehow the same experience as being morbidly obese. And I know for a fact that if I get lower than a DD then im getting a boob job lol ... It's crazy how having big boobs has been such a big part of my life lol

Lol I don't like having to dress like an old lady because of my size or paying 3x as much for clothes that are trendy ... Lol I know at the end of the day I'm extremely vain lol and slightly cocky ... I was talking to my friend about the surgery and telling her it was about health but she reminded me of my cockiness and I knew that I was gonna have an even bigger head Moral of the story: wls can make you more confident but really if you are sexy an you know it then size doesn't matter Skinniness does not equal attractiveness

Lol my first appointment with the surgeon all he did was push on my stomach ... Hella awkward