Hetera

This will sound silly, but exhale before you swallow. It might be that you're swallowing air with your food/drink.

Wonderful!!

Love reading these! Getting my courage up! Thanks.

Her meaness has nothing to do with you. You should tell her to her face that she's being rude and unkind, and tell her calmly. That's the only way to shut her up. Put her in her place and STAND UP FOR YOURSELF. It FEELS GOOD!! I can tell you're a sweetheart, and people will try to pull that stuff to make themselves feel powerful. It's pretty common. Just tell her to back off. Grrrrr! Makes me mad!

Been thinking about going to see Dr. Rodriguez at the Tiujuana location (I have friends/family in San Diego). How are you feeling since your surgery? What are you doing about follow up here in the states?

More about the "all or nothing" thinking trap: there was a time in my relative youth, when I weighed 164 lbs (at 5'9"). But in those days (the early 1980s) young women wanted to weight 135-145, because, well, it SOUNDED thin, whereas 165 SOUNDED pretty hefty. But it was that all-or-nothing thinking that was like a slippery slope for me. I STILL wasn't thin, even though I was a size 10. And of course, with my state of mind in those days, I let that faulty thinking undermine my accomplishments. I still thought of myself as fat, and fat was fat was fat, whether it was 185 or 165 or 195 or 211 or 230, etc. The last 20 years, the focus has been turning towards health and not just numbers. I still HATE it when people talk about BMIs and how women should be at 20% body fat, blah, blah blah... it's SO demoralizing. sorry for the rant. But we MUST give our selves credit for what we've accomplished and NOT think of our slip ups as catastrophes.

I really liked this above post about overweight people having "all or nothing" mentalities. In other words, they can be, surprisingly, frustrated perfectionists! If we're not operating at 100%, if we ate 1/4 of a doughnut, we might as well be sitting in front of the television with a pint of ice cream, bag of chips, what-have-you. Perspective is everything. I can only encourage you to relax and be proud of how far you've come, while always being aware of what/how much you're eating and getting in your activity. You've done a great job "self-adjusting" with your Protein shake, so I think you should be very happy with yourself. That's working it!

I totally hear your frustration and can relate. I haven't had surgery, but I am seriously considering it. I am definitely an emotional eater, and my whole life have used food to "balance" most of my emotions. That's why I'm thinking hard about having the surgery. I want to have a handle on my eating issues and have some coping mechanisms in place. My sister, who is addicted to 12-step programs, is encouraging me to go to some Overeaters Anonymous meetings before I have the surgery. And as hard as it is to admit it, I think this might be a good idea. I mean, if the sleeve is a tool, as everyone refers to it here, than so can be considered OA, right? OA doesn't dictate a particular "diet" or method to lose weight, just supposedly help with understanding the triggers, habits and mind set. Just putting it out there for your consideration. If emotional eating is an issue, I guess it would be wise to get to the bottom of it. I'm going to go to a meeting tonight. I am not thrilled about it, but the last thing I want to do is have the surgery and then be bereft and miserable afterwards about missing my best friend and greatest love - namely overindulgence in food.

Very helpful. I don't hink my doctor puts anything down my throat though... is that Dr. Alverez's technique? Or do I just have an incomplete understanding of the procedure?

I'm just beginning to explore the possibility of having VSL. The research I've read on-line says one can reasonably expect to lose up to 50-70% of their "overage" in the first year. For me, that would be roughly 70 lbs (which would DELIGHT me!). Are your results meeting your expectations, seriously? I would really be happy just to get to 180lbs (down from (260 lbs). I don't have to weight 160 lbs.... does that sound reasonable? Achievable?

I need some help here. I've started the process....insurance wants me to wait 6 mos and jump through their hoops, which is fine with me. However, I've been really trying to do some soul-searching about my relationship with food. During my psych evaluation, the therapist told me that while she is supportive of my having the surgery, she is concerned that I will have problems keeping the weight off after the "honeymoon" stage because I am an emotional eater. Needless to say, since I've decided to have the surgery, I've been VERY emotional and worried about "losing food." Since she said that, I've kind of "gone off the deep end" just when I'm supposed to be trying to lose some weight pre-surgically for the insurance company's approval. So for you all who are doing so well post surgically, my question is, how have you dealt with your emotions since you cannot eat to assuage them? I asked my therapist, "Isn't everybody who's significantly overweight addicted to food on some level?" She said that not everyone who is obese is addicted to food. I guess the tipping point (or alarm) for her was that when I was in my 20s I was bulimic, and on and off for about 20 years after that. I'm in my fifites now, and have no compulsion about purging. I just don't do it anymore. I guess a history of bulimia is a red flag (understandably). Since most dieters regain some if not all of the weight they have lost (as I have done my whole life) (and even those who have had WLS have been known statistically gain back about 30% of what they've lost), do you think a person actually CAN shake their addiction to food? Before all this doom and gloom naysaying kicked in, my attitude was, "I'd rather being thin and healthy and fighting to stay slim, than sad and fat and struggling and feeling bad about myself and failing at diet after diet...." Another question, how many of you "practiced" the dietary restrictions before your surgeries, and with how much success, i.e., not drinking and eating at the same time, esp. Thank you all for your insight and help. I appreciate it. I want my surgery to be a success. I'm a very young 51 (often thought to be in my late 30s), 5'9" and I weight 265 lbs.

I'm pre-surgery... 270, 5'9"; size 20. I think everyone has to remember that -probably every female - whether fat, skinny or in-between, is worried about their weight, and as sad as this is, when you're insecure, you always feel threatened in some way or another. I know because sometimes, when I'm feeling very VERY upset and vulnerable, it really makes me feel better to see someone heavier than me.... I'm always relieved NOT to be the fattest woman in the room. The whole body-image thing has totally permeated society, and we're all victims of it. Some people are mean with it, others are more compassionate. I know this because I'm kind of both ways. Many of my friends are overweight, and I worry about what's going to happen to our relationships if/when I have surgery and lose 100 lbs... Will they be jealous, or awkward, uncomfortable with themselves? Will my losing weight make them feel bad about themselves? Will people who were able to lose weight though other means feel superior to me because I didn't have the self-discipline to lose weight on my own? Will I feel superior to my overweight friends if/when I have the surgery? What will I do with my friends, socially, when so much of our time was spent involved in eating-endeavors? I've been fat my whole life.... I have somehow defined myself as a "fat girl, woman." Who AM I if I'm not fat? If I'm not focused on food as my one source of pleasure-comfort? I'm sorry people can be ugly about others' weightloss and have to try to make them feel bad, somehow. It's pretty nasty, but it's also a symptom of their own insecurities about their weight and their perceived "value."

Rev me Up, I really "got" your story about the "big bowl of cereal." The whole irrational, tantrum aspect of it... "Life sucks right now and I want CEREAL DAG-NAB-IT!" I remember getting novocaine once for a filling, and I was so FRUSTRATED afterwards because afterwards I couldn't eat...I wasn't hungry, but I couldn't eat or taste anything.... I was 12... Your statement about "not being able to shovel food in your face because life is difficult" really hit home. And PenPen, I've really found your responses, not to mention your blog, really helpful. Everyones' responses have been great. Thank you again.

Thanks, everyone. Again, my biggest concern is that I lose the weight, then gain it back.... All of your responses have given me a LOT to think about - food for thought so-to-speak. I'm not sure how to proceed right now, as I've just gotten a very important singing engagement for June (I'm an opera singer), and I know that losing a lot of weight quickly can mess up your vocal/abdominal support, and a wise singer that undertakes this (or any WLS procedure) take at least a year off from professional gigs to re-work their technique. I was hoping to have the surgery in May... maybe I'll just plan on having it after the performance. I DO want to try to get a handle on my emotional eating and make some real head-way before the surgery. Thanks again for all of your responses. So very helpful!

Thank yoU!

I understand your query and can relate. Weight Watchers really does work, and it's so SANE... if you can stick with it and really commit to counting points. Unfortunately, I never could stick long enough to make a BIG dent in my excess weight. I was able to lose about 30lbs (of the 75 lbs overage) in 5 months a few years ago (and I've been a member on and off since - 1973!!!!).... But no matter how much I lose I always gain it back plus some. At this point, I've spent all of my life (except 2 years in my early 20s) 10 - 100 lbs overweight. Usually about +/- 40lbs. The last few years, I've really packed it on, going from 210 to 265 in roughly 8 years. I'm now menopausal, which only makes it harder for me to lose weight. And we're now talking about 40 years of using food to cope with my emotions (to one extent or another). Being obese (ugh, what a word!) negatively impacted my self-esteem, and consquently it has negatively effected every aspect of my life, my personal relationships, my professional aspirations, my health, and my finances (I spend and have spent a tremendous amount of money on food for myself and personal trainers, and weightloss program memberships, etc.). Needless to say, a large portion (no pun) of my life has been centered on food. My mother and sisters have struggled iwth their weight, and my best friends have always been heavy, even my preference in male companionship has been based on "who won't mind that I'm fat..." or "who will like to eat as much as I do???". I've been a binge eater and I've been bulimic (no longer). Eating is THE MOST enjoyable thing I do, with singing and watching old movies tied as second. It's also the one activity that has caused me to feel shame and deep disappointment with myself. Throw some guilt in there, too.... for good measure. People (or is it me?) think that WLS is an easy way out. Well, at this point, I've failed so miserably at "getting control of my overeating" and feel so ashamed, WLS is the greatest act of compassion I can show myself. My hope is that once I start seeing consistent weightloss, and once I can STOP fighting my hunger/appetite, even for a few months, I can FINALLY establish the habits that I know will help me maintain the weightloss. I guess I just need some outside help...

You sound really blue... I can relate to your state of mind and your reasoning and fears, but you've got to snap out of it! You're on your way to getting in control of this thing, there's a light at the end of the tunnel!!!! If you're anything like me, you're pretty conflicted..... "Why couldn't I, can't I, do this myself..." blah blah blah.... and that stress (and guilt) and anticipation of the surgery might be causing you to overeat as a reaction.... understandable if eating has been your coping mechanism for most of your life (like it has been mine!). But just for now, FORGET the guilt, FORGET being disappointed in yourself. Your picture says you're beautiful! You have a lovely daughter! Everybody has financial worries, weight worries (even the thin folk), aging worries, family worries.... EVERYBODY has those... you're not alone there! And so what you're going to be the fattest one there???.... DEFY your negative self talk. This is your family, and they love you no matter what.... and if they judge you, well fuq 'em! In a while, you'll be looking and feeling great. For the next few days, do HALF of what you you're supposed to do, diet-wise.... And LISTEN TO HAPPY MUSIC... it WILL cheer you up. And for your one meal a day.... eat salmon (if you like fish), and blueberries and/or eggs. Those foods really will improve your mood (and your skin will be GORGEOUS DAHLING!). And take B12 vitamins.... also a mood booster. You are DOING THIS THING, BABEH!!!! YEAYUH!

I'm new here, and only thinking about getting the sleeve. Re: your hunger, are you allowed a little fat in the diet? It sounds kind of gross, but you could add a little oil to your shakes (I'd suggest better ones than Slim Fast). A tablespoon of oil to your shake will help slow digestion a little and will help to satiate your appetite/hunger. Of course, if this is against doctors' orders, disregard! Best of luck!