RosieSweetie

I understand exactly what you are saying. When I was heavier, I didn't see me as being so fat,either. It takes a while for your brain to catch-up with your body. I also find it annoying when people keep asking me, "how much did you lose?" . Also,since I am still a plus size (although I have been losing weight since May 2011 on a pre-op diet ) I feel like I am not "thin enough" . I am just hoping (along with exercise, high protein, 800-900 cal/day diet) that I can become "normal sized" AND Maintain it.

I understand how some people are very determined to reach a specific goal (and are willing to do whatever it takes) and there are others who are only willing to make some "sacrifices". Years ago when I went to Overeaters Anonymous, I was struck by some of the really tragic stories I heard and I thought, "boy, this person thinks they are a failure for coping with food and being fat? I think they are so brave and courageous just for getting up in the morning and getting through life. Its amazing that person is a food addict and not a hard core drug addict, and totally avoiding life". Weight issues have many, many facets. Today I think, "yes, I want to reach goal and I'm willing to exercise just about every day and always eat right. But realistically, will I "fall off the wagon" if I face an immense personal issue? Maybe, maybe not. I am trying to give up my old ways of coping with food- with other activities , exercise, creative activities, building a larger support network, etc. Getting sleeved is such a personal journey- not just an endpoint of a goal weight. I have been at a "goal weight" many times, and swore I would "never" gain the weight back- but I did. This time, I want to use my "tool" and live. ANY weight I lose will make me healthier. I think we need to be kind to others, especially our obese peers- there is enough discrimination out there. I do not need to boss someone else around, and tell them what their goal weight should or shouldn't be. Just because someone expresses a shortcoming, doesn't mean they want you to fix it. Maybe that person just needs to think aloud or maybehe/she is just looking for support.(Remember, there may also be medical or emotional issues why a person can never reach a particular goal- that they may not even be aware of).

First, I would like to say, I am not a medical professional. I understand that the VBG is a much different operation than the sleeve. The sleeve works by restriction and reducing grelin.The surgery itself is about an hour. The VBG is not done anymore by most surgeons in my area (I do not think any of the many surgeons I went to do it and my ins only covers lap band, gastric bypass & sleeve), because it is a long surgery and had many complications . I am about 5 wks out from the sleeve and it has been working for me so far. My Dr used a 40 Fr bougie,so I have restriction but I have not had vomiting and I can eat regular food- although there are foods I can not eat yet. (My nutritionist gave me a list of what I can eat, when).There are other foods, like cake and ice cream, that have lost their appeal to me. I am basically on a high protein diet, and the cravings for sugary foods are gone. At this point. I am no longer waiting to "start my diet tomorrow" or dealing with guilt, because I messed up again. I feel free from "dieting" and feeling hungry, even though I am actually on a long term food plan ("diet" ). For me, at this time, the sleeve has made me feel I can become a normal weight again, it will just take time- but it is not impossible. The sleeve has given me hope. (Before I had it done, I was skeptical -since "the Dr did not operate on my brain", but I was desperate. So I figured, since I didn't want to be the half ton mother, I had to do something. I am much, much happier now. It was definitely worth it for me- but I was ready for change and to make the committment to change my life. As I said, for me - I am not walking around feeling hungry all of the time- it is a tool that is helping me feel satisfied. Good Luck whatever you decide.

I used Dr Silva who is associated with Columbia University Medical Center, (he also works out of Bergen County, NJ.) He is excellent. I had no problems with surgery and he will explain everything. I have also met his associate Dr Beth Schrope who visited me in the hospital, who is also excellent (I have met people that she has done surgery on as well in my support group). Their website is www.obesitymd.org and they have alot of videos and info. (even if you decide not to use them, check out the website). Good luck.(I have United Healthcare and they were covered. By the way, Dr Oz works out of the Columbia University Medical Center, which includes NY Presbyterian Hospital and Columbia University Medical Center)

I had surgery 12/13/11- I agree with you that you are forced to adress why you are eating.You literally can't overeat just because you are mad, sat or happy. If you try to overeat, you will feel pain in the middle of your chest, and will be uncomfortable. I have gone out to eat in restaurants, now I notice that I am more interested in conversation than food,since I can't eat much. I do appreciate what I do eat- I am much more careful with my choices. I can not "mindlessly" eat or eat on "the run"- I have to eat slowly and chew thoroughly,so the surgery has forced me to slow down. Right now I think I will have to live like this forver- which is NOT a bad thing. I have already worked hard to get to this point, so I think I will be careful so I do not "Undo" my hard work. I plan on joining the Century Club by by next Xmas, buying a new wardrobe and then maintaining my weight, so I can enjoy my new clothes- until they wear out (not only until I grow out of them!)

I take 1 prevacid a day and I still have an upset stomach sometimes. I take tums when I feel an upset stomach. This may help you too, but the drawback is they have sugar (carbs). The pharmacist told me basically you can take them as often as you need to, and I feel better almost immediately. ( I probably take between 2-4 a day, I am 1 month post-op).(I notice when I get stressed out with a deadline, I tend to get an upset stomach). You should also check with your Dr.

I agree. When I first got sleeved, I was incredibly cold all of the time. Now that I have started exercising consistently, I notice I am not as cold.

ask him what is HIS rate of complications and how he handled them

there are also fiber gummies- they taste pretty good,so its like eating candy

I think the most important questions are - How many SLEEVE surgeries have YOU done and how long have YOU been doing them? What complications have YOUR patients experienced? What aftercare do you provide? (support groups, staff knowledge- if you call, can the staff answer medical questions?) When I had laparoscopic knee surgery, the recovery was simple- I did not need a relationship with the Dr. With the sleeve, you have to feel comfortable asking your surgeon many questions, so make sure you like his/her personality.Good Luck.

My husband is pretty good, although he has said a stupid thing (or 2 or 3...)(I will be married 30 yrs this yr). The first time he talked disrespectful to me, I was shocked and took it. Then I started taking different approaches like I say to him "Let me get this right, that's how you talk to YOUR WIFE, the ONLY one that truly loves you, no matter YOUR shortcomings? Or You are talking to me like I am a piece of S**T?" How would you like it if I spoke to you like that? OR I'm glad your so perfect and then I point out one of his shortcomings, Or "I may be fat, but I can change. I guess you are just nasty. Maybe you should work on that". Or I have also snapped back "WTF you Jacka**". I find though if you curse too much it loses its effectiveness. I have also said, "How would you like it if someone talked to YOUR daughter like that? Your daughter hears you, and she is going to think this bulls**t is ok. How would you like to get a call from her, at 2 am, crying that her husband treated her this way? (This I found particularly effective). Vary your response, because I think you need to catch him off guard to be effective. Just make sure you respond EVERYTIME he asks like a fool. Anyone who has been married long enough has put up with some stupidity- you are NOT alone! Good luck.

Good answer!

Well, when i have gone to Applebees, I have "shared" an appetizer with a male coworker and then ordered the french onion soup, and then just eaten the liquid, and no one has questioned me. (If you share an appetizer with most men, they do not really pay attention if you just have 1 or 2 pieces). I have also ordered grilled chicken with salad, and then I ate the chicken and just cut up the salad in little pieces and left it. Again, no one has ever questioned me. When I go out to eat, I talk alot while the others eat, so by the end, they are mostly done and I have eaten what I need to, and that's it. If anyone asks about what I am eating (or not), I say "huh, what?" If they are so rude to repeat a question,like "is that all your eating", I say, "I 'm not hungry anymore". If they say anything else, I "joke" and say either, "boy you are REALLY that interested"? or "stop being a pain in the a**", depending who asks me. If I feel like it, and I'm at someones house, I just say I can't eat that I'm allergic or it gives me an upset stomach. I try not to get into lengthy discussions & I don't feel I need to explain anything to anyone. (But I think this is what turning 50 does to you!)

Unfortunately there are many unsupportive people out there- some because they are afraid, some because they don't like change, some because they are jealous. I created a small inner circle of support along with online support.and a support group. YOU have to be very confident in your decision. You can be strong for yourself- keep a journal so you can see how much you have changed and learned. But, there will be challenges. I am only 3 wks out- (I did a pre-op diet for over 5 mos) and I feel much better and I am much happier. I do not feel constantly hungry and I do not feel the compulsion to eat. Remember, the surgery does not solve any other problems other than your weight. However, if your weight is down, and you feel better, it is easier to deal with the other problems.(and people). Good Luck!

Congratulations and thanks for sharing details on the facelift. You'll have to keep us posted on your progress. Also, I noticed you had your gallbladder out. How was that recovery? Did you take Actigall after the sleeve surgery and do you have dietary restrictions now?

I was wearing a size 8 1/2 wide, now I am back in a 7 1/2 Regular- so your feet will definately get smaller. SOO many cute shoes in 7 1/2 regular- I think I have transferred my addiction! lol

I noticed when I went to various WLS seminar and personal consultations, over a period of several years, there are some who only do 1 or 2 things- bypass or lapband, and try to sell you on those (particularly lap band). One lap band Dr told me the lap band was so easy to do, he said a "monkey could do it". However, I found it interesting that all of the Drs I met that do the sleeve, have done the others. (In fact every surgeon who I met who does the sleeve has previously done and currently also does bypasses )and many have also done the DS operations. The only real negative I have heard about the sleeve, is the lack of data more than about 8-9 years out. Many of the Drs I spoke to feel that the sleeve will become the new "gold standard". I actually have waited a few years, since the sleeve was available in NJ/NY to see how the outcomes were and for my insurance to change its policies so it would not consider it experimental (and pay for it).

In the Nov 2008 issue of Bariatric Times there is an article relating to protein, that deals with the issues in this form . Click on the link and scroll down to nutrition and perspectives http://bariatrictimes.com/2008/11/ It discusses the "30g myth", and concludes that the bariatric team should work together to maximize patients results. (Btw Bariatric times is written for Drs and other practioners interested in "Clinical Developments and Metabolic Insights in Total Bariatric Patient Care".). I agree with some posters who say you need to listen to your NUT and Drs, but I also agree that some are not as updated (or competant) as they should be. I think a forum like this is good so that we can share ideas- not necessarily take specific advice without consulting professionals or making up our own minds. (I think of the saying, "just because someone tells you, jump off a bridge..." ). I think it especially interesting because we come from different parts of the country,have different experiences, and get different advice from our professionals.Thanks to everyone for their input, even if I don't agree with or follow your advice, I do appreciate it and it does make me think.

I feel your pain- its mine too! I thought I would lose faster after surgery- but I lost alot pre-op, so I guess, I didn't have a lot of water weight to lose. I eat about 600-700 cal a day and if I don't get in 30 min of exercise one day, I try to do at least an hour the next day. My Dr told me to throw away the scale, it will only make me crazy. I do not see a big difference, but others around me have noticed a big difference. Although I know I am losing inches because some clothes I couldn't wear now fit me. (Others seem to have gotten longer!) Hang in there and try not to compare yourself with others (which is what I am trying to do). Also I am 50- older you get, slower wt comes off

Hang in there. I went to one Dr and the office fooled around, didn't submit stuff, etc. I kept calling them & my ins. Finally, I got disgusted. I went to a different Dr. It turns out, his office staff was much nicer, he was much more experienced. They faxed paperwork to my ins co- got approval in 4 days! Sometimes things happen for a reason. If its your time, it will work. If not, use this time constructively and don't add more stress to your life. You always have the option to change Drs if you feel you are not treated properly. Good Luck, whether you get the surgery tomorrow, next month or next year!

Thank you sooo much for posting this article from the May 2008 issue of Bariatric Times!

Not only do I NOT have any regret, but I actually feel relieved and happy. I just got sleeved 12/13/11, and I had good pain relief. The only annoying pain I felt was in my shoulder- which a heating pad greatly helped and which went away after less than a week. A week and 2 days out, I returned to work as a teacher. My Dr used a 40 French (bougie size), so I did not have the complications some people speak of. Also my Dr has been a WLS Dr for over 20 years, and has done well over 600 sleeves.(He used to do mainly RNY before sleeves, with some lap bands). My insurance is very good and my high BMI was enough for me to get approval, but he required me to get a lot of pre-op work (for ex: pysch /cardiologist/ gastroenterologist)and he spent time talking to me. Also, I attended a sleeve support group in person before surgery and I belonged to this forum (and others) pre-op. Pre-op he also put me on a hi protein low carb diet. After the surgery, he has also been supportive and so has his office staff. Prior to choosing him, I spoke to (or attended seminars for) at least 6 Drs (over a period of years) even Drs who were not on my ins., just to be sure I was making a good choice for me. The pre-op diet made me realize that my main triggers were stress, my mother and watching too many food commercials (so I was doing a lot of night eating), so I was already working on coping strategies pre-op. Also since I was already using protein shakes, after surgery was not so dramatic of a difference. (Pre-op I had 2-3 protein shakes and dinner, like steak, broccoli and potato). Don't rush into this, make sure your choose your surgeon wisely, get educated, and be honest with yourself. Are you ready to change your life? This is not a diet to lose 20 lbs before a wedding, where you can just white knuckle it. If you are not ready, be honest with yourself and do NOT do this. But I am happy that I will no longer be plus sized, have to use a seat belt extender, or can't wear my boots because I can't zip them. I was tired of the diet roller coaster and I want to make permanent, positive changes in my life, so I was ready. (For ex, I didn't get RNY because I knew I did not want to be required to take nutritional supplements everyday for the rest of my life. I am glad I waited for the sleeve). Good luck whatever you decide

Count me in. I am very happy to help.

What a great way to start the New Year! Happy Birthday and Congrats!

Tuttle, maybe part of it , is because of the holidays. Holidays for me was always cooking "extra special" treats for my family- and myself- cookies, for example, which I can't do this year. (I bought ceramic gingerbread houses to paint instead). Since I got sleeved on 12/13- I notice I'm generally ok, unless I roam through the supermarket and see all of my old "friends" or if I watch tv and see the commercials starring my "old friends". Luckily now, there will be a million shows & ads on dieting and new years resolutions. But I just wanted you to know that there are others of us who are sad around the holidays. I realized today that I am feeling a little sad . In my case, it's because I think of my loved ones who are now gone, the dreams I had this year that did not work out , and the fact that I can NOT eat all the junk as an escape to make me feel better. I am forced to face my negative feelings instead of stuff them down. Maybe it will help if you try to figure out what's bothering you, if possible. And remember, these feelings will pass. Hang in there- but if you start to feel very depressed, definately call your Dr. He/she can help you- don't be afraid or ashamed to speak up. My prayers are with you. Good luck and I hope you feel better.