Ms skinniness

UGH...why is it that today, Monday, of all days has to be like this. I mean really, one thing after another and then over again. My family doesn't realize, even though I have told them, that I am losing weight, yes, but I am still working on the mental part of it all. When I get angry, upset, sad, frustrated, feel hurt, etc...I still want to reach for that food...even though I'm not the least bit hungry.
 
I've been telling myself all dang day(don't know if you can swear on here) that you are not hungry, you don't want those chips, and that donut you've been thinking about...it's evil and won't taste good anyway.
 
It all started this morning and spiraled(is that how you spell it?) downward all day. ugh, I just want to cry...and that's another thing, HORMONES suck. YES they suck a$$(technically not swearing if it's with dollar signs!). I have wanted to cry all day, and then just get mad and yell, which nowadays makes me cry even more. OH MAN, I feel like I'm out of control on this roller coaster of emotions and I want to get off this ride.
 
This week my main focus is exercise and feeling better and getting below 200, that's where the scale is at the moment...and I will make this happen this week. I have to focus all those emotions, and such on getting below that 200 mark, and I know I can do this. If I focus on that I can get my thoughts in order and realize that I really don't want everything I have talked myself out of.
 
It's a vicious cycle, and I will break this, I will change my thoughts once and for all and realize that I am greater than this addiction I have been feeding for most of my adult life, and no amount of stress or frustration is going to make me fall off the wagon...it just can't, because I won't let it.
 
Stay true to your journey and thank you to everyone willing to share on this site, it means more than you could every know.

Ok, so I had my endoscopy today, which means my file will be submitted to the insurance for approval tomorrow.... I hope that goes well. The Endoscopy was neat, I have never been under any type of sedation before. I feel good overall, except for this headache I've had all day but I think its because my body wants to go back to sleep and I haven't let it. I left the hospital at 12:30 and have been up ever since, everyone says I should be sleep, so I guess I'm going to turn in shortly as its 607 in the evening. Well I just wanted to say, I had the endoscopy yesterday and the 15 day count down begin tomorrow. Wish me luck everyone!!!!!

Yes, there are a lot of acronyms here. I've listed just the ones related to weight loss surgery, not ones in common use, such as LOL (laugh out loud). Be sure to let me know of any I've missed:
 
BMI: Body Mass Index
CW: Current Weight
DS: Duodenal Switch weight loss surgery
EWL: Excess Weight Loss
FF: Fat Free
GBP: Gastric Bypass
GW: Goal Weight
LBL: Lower Body Lift
MO: Morbidly Obese
NSV: Non Scale Victory, such as fitting in an airline seat
NUT: Nutritionist
OH: Obesity Help, another good online forum
PB2: Peanut Butter 2 (peanut powder substitute for peanut butter)
PCP: Primary Care Physcian
PPI: Proton Pump Inhibitor, such as Prilosec
RNY: Roux-eN-Y (gastric bypass) weight loss surgery
SF: Sugar Free
SMO: Super Morbidly Obese
SW: Surgery Weight
TT: Tummy Tuck
VBG: Vertical Banded Gastroplasty weight loss surgery
VSG: Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy weight loss surgery
VST: Vertical Sleeve Talk, our wonderful forum
WLS: Weight Loss Surgery

So I just got my surgery date! Well it is tenative...the hospital has to confirm they have the OR available that day. Ofcourse in true Shannon fashion...the scheduler is out today and you know doctors arent going to do the scheduler's job and make that call! But it is JUNE 27th! That is like not even a full 2 weeks away! CRAZY! She had me worried I wouldn't be getting my surgery for months. She said, "Well how soon are you looking to have the surgery?" I said lets go right NOW! She then said, "Well my schedule is so full right now. We have opened up July and August books". I am thinking, oh great I will have to wait until August or longer. She then said, "Well if you want first available I have the 27th open but not sure OR is available". I said, "August or July 27th?" She said, "No no no this month". I nearly fell off the table. She said, "If OR doesnt have a room she should be able to get me in first week or 2 in July no problem". YAY! So excited and freaking scared! I already have been measured, weighed, my before pic taken and have my scripts for zofran and liquid pain meds for when I get home! This is happening! She also informed me to not start the liver shrinking diet until the OR is booked for sure. I said what if it is not a full two weeks when I find out. She said no problem that she more worried about that in patients who have high liver levels, or are over 50 BMI. She seems confident that my liver will be just fine and a full week to be safe will be enough. I am so excited and scared to freaking death all rolled up in one! But I think I will be fine I heard my feel good song today on the radio as I was leaving the Dr. office (Three Little Birds...has a special meaning for me and lets me know I am where I need to be) which is random b/c 1 I NEVER listen to the radio hardly ever but my ipod was dead and 2 radio here in good ole TX hardly ever plays Bob Marley, even the cool hipster Austin stations. Funny and kinda childish but that was my sign, "that every little thing goin be alright"! Happy Friday Y'all!

First, let me say honestly and with all my heart – I hate telemarketers.
 
I believe that anyone that is a telemarketer is an undiagnosed sociopath and should kill themselves.
 
Seriously, if you are a telemarketer – KILL YOURSELF! Really, I’m not joking…KILL YOURSELF, NOW… I’ll wait.
 
Now, this may sound like a conversation right out of sitcom, but it happened to me.
 
A telemarketing firm was trying to gather information about our company to include us in some kind of “green” business directory. My office was bombarded with literally dozens of phone calls.
 
Basically they wanted to know what we did, how many employees we had, the amount of our budgets, and the who’s who of our executive staff.
 
At the time, we had over 120 employees and everyone’s phone number is published on our web site. So it was very easy for the telemarketers to get ahold of us.
 
Apparently they had a team of callers, each with a copy of our phone numbers. We were getting repeated calls to the same phone numbers over and over, from different telemarketers.
 
Now as we are a service oriented business, we are trained to be polite and courteous to every caller, no matter the situation. They would call, we would politely tell them that we could not give them the information they wanted, 30 minutes later -a new telemarketer would call, rinse and repeat.
 
We had so many repeat phone calls that it was interfering with our regular business operations.
Finally, our executive director sent out an email telling us, next time we get a call, please tell them politely to stop calling us.
 
Day one was irritating, day two was annoying, and on day three – they finally picked my phone to call.
 
The first call I received, I politely told the sociopath on the other end that we could not provide them with the information they were requesting. Two hours later, I told the next sociopath, politely, that I was not allowed to give them (and I was not privy to) information regarding our payroll and budgets and to please stop calling our offices. The third call, I recognized the number on the caller ID, I was ready for them.
 
The conversation goes as follows:
 
Me: “Thank you for calling ______. This is Randy”
 
Sociopath: “Hello, I’m calling from ______. Can I ask you for some information about your company?”
 
Me: “I’m sorry, but I can’t give that information out over the phone. What information we do give out is posted on our website.”
 
Sociopath: “Can’t you tell me who your director is and the approximate budget size of your department?”
 
Me: “No, I’m sorry, but I can’t provide you with that information.”
 
“Your associates have been calling our office for the past two days asking those types of questions, and repeatedly calling the same phone numbers over and over.”
 
“Our director has told us to ask you to stop calling our office. I have had two other calls from your company in the past few hours. And I have asked each caller to stop calling, but your staff will not stop calling.”
 
“We cannot give out the information you want.”
 
Sociopath: “Hold sir.”
 
At this point I’m transferred to a manger or some higher up sociopath.
 
Sociopath Manager: “Hello, my name is ____. Don’t you want to be part of our “green” business directory? We are creating a business directory that features companies like yours that recycle and operate in and environmentally manner.”
 
Me: “I’m sorry, but we cannot release the information you want over the phone. If you want a list of our staff, it is on our website, but I don’t have access to or permission to give out financial information about our office."
 
“On top of that, your people have been calling us for the past three days, calling the same person multiple times, even after being told that we were not allowed to give out the information and please stop calling. Some of our people have gotten a dozen calls in one day.”
 
Sociopath Manager: “Maybe you don’t understand. Don’t you want your company to be listed in our “green” directory? I’m sure it would be a plus for your company to be recognized as being an environmentally friendly business.”
 
At this point, an evil thought entered my head. (Picture me sitting there with an angle on one shoulder and a devil on the other – scratch that, there was a devil on both shoulders! :-P)
 
Me: “I’m sorry, but maybe you don’t understand. We are an information business. And information is valuable. We charge for providing information.”
 
Sociopath Manager: “Yes, sir. But what has that got to do with being in our directory?”
 
Me: “Well, we charge for answering questions. We charge $25 for each question we answer over the phone.”
 
Sociopath Manager: “That’s a lot, to answer a question.”
 
Me: “Yes it is, but information is valuable. At this point I must inform you that this phone call is being recorded and if you ask one more question, you accept our terms and conditions and agree to pay $25 for each additional question.”
 
Sociopath Manager: “You’re kidding?”
 
Me: “Thank you for asking a question and acknowledging that your company is agreeing to pay the $25 per question fee. Please feel free to ask anything you want.”
 
CLICK!...
 
He hung up!...
 
The nerve!
 
When I hung up and turned around, my director was standing there with a horrified look on her face.
 
I asked, “What’s wrong?”
 
And she asks, “What if they file a complaint against us?”
 
I asked, “File a complaint with WHO? They called me, I didn’t call them. I was polite and treated them with respect at all times. They have been calling all our departments for three days now, repeatedly calling some of us, even after we have nicely asked them to stop calling.”
 
“Obviously, they do not care what we want or that they are costing us man hours and interfering with our operations.”
 
She says, “You lied to them. We don’t charge for answering questions over the phone.”
 
I replied, “They don’t know that. And how would they find out?”
 
At this point, my director gives up and walks away. With a worried look that said, “Somehow a telemarketing company is going to lodge a complaint against us.” Because I lied to a telemarketer!
 
But we didn’t get any more calls from them – ever.
 
P.S. I’m still trying to figure out who the telemarketing company would complain to and how the conversation would go?
 
I imagine it would be something like this:
 
“Hello, we would like to register a complaint against a business that lied to us.”
 
“Yes, sir. Could you describe the situation?”
 
“Yes. For three days, we have been repeatedly calling every phone number at a business, asking them for their financial information, budgets, names of staff, names of their directors and executive staff. And they have told us that they can’t give us that information and to please stop calling them. As our phone calls are disrupting their normal operations.”
 
“Yes, sir. Go on.”
 
“Well, on the third day of calls, I talked with a gentleman that informed me that THEY charge $25 per question. I was so perplexed that I hung up, told my staff to stop calling, and have been afraid to call them again – as we might get charged. Since then, I have been afraid to make probing calls to other businesses! Afraid to ask questions that even I realize no sane business person would answer over the phone.”
 
“It’s really interfering with my staff’s ability to continue normal business operations.”
 
“Since that time, I have learned that gentleman lied to me. They in fact, DO NOT charge $25 per question. I want to lodge a formal complaint!”
 
Pause
 
“Thank you for your call sir. I would be happy to register your complaint. But first I must tell you that this phone call is being recorded and that we charge $25 ……………”

I'm down 8.2 lbs on my 11th day of the liquid diet. I'm actually feeling the loss in my clothes, which just makes me more excited and pumped up to have the surgery and get even MORE off. I had my pre-op app. with my gp and she's 'signed off' so there's no stopping me now. I'm understanding that need to chew issue that I read about. But the V8 satiates my need for salt pretty well (I would HOPE 920 mg of sodium would do the trick!)
 
Right now I'm feeling absurdly narcissistic and completely wrapped up in ME ME ME. I feel a bit badly about this, but I think I'm feeling weirdly about it because I never have thought about ME in the past; it's always been about my husband or kids or parents or students or anybody EXCEPT me. I've neglected myself and it shows in my excessive weight.
 
I feel differently already and wonder if people can SEE the change in me.

Had my 3 month appointment on 05/17/13. My doctor says I'm losing weight a little faster than expected, averaging about 3 1/2 pounds a week. I thought WTF? Don't get me wrong, I'm happy with that, but I thought it was a little slower than a lot of people. I know I shouldn't compare myself to others, but it's hard not to wonder why others are losing so much more than I am.
 
I went shopping over the weekend because I'm just tired of wearing clothes that don't fit right. What a frustrating experience. I'm still in the plus size section, but just can't seem to find anything that isn't ugly, to my at least. Of course, I'm shopping at stores that the clothes cost a little less because I know I won't be in them long and don't want to spend a lot of money on something that I will grow out of fast.
 
The other issues I'm having is although I look at myself in clothes and can't believe how skinny I look in them, when I take pictures, I still see that "bigger" woman that I was last year. It's hard to get those thoughts out of my mind.
 
I did go dancing on Saturday night, which I hadn't done in about 2 or 3 years and it felt so good to be able to dance through 3 or 4 songs without my ankles hurting or getting tired.

OK, I guess I jumped the gun a week ago when I said I was no longer obese because I weighed 227 and my BMI was 29.9. Ever since then, I've been fluctuating between 227 and 229. Guess I'm in some sort of a stall. Oh well, I'm not really stressing over it. I know I'm still doing all the right things and it will move when it wants to.

Hello, my name is John,
 
I'm 19 months post op and I have lost a total of 130 lbs. I exercise 5 days a week for one hour and have really been watching what I eat. Believe me I researched nutrition a lot. I know exactly what's good and what's bad for you that's how I have been successful. However I've been slowly been allowing myself to indulge on the weekends. Basically eating whatever I want on the weekends and then returning to my strict diet during the week. Now my weekend habits are starting to work themselves into a day or two during the week. Still exercising!! I can eat more now and the other day I felt like I ate all day long snacking on healthy snacks however eating all day. I'm worried I'm heading towards destruction. Does anyone have any ideas to stop me from heading down that dark path? I haven't gained any weight yet but I fear if in keep going down this path I will. I need advise please help. I need to hear from people that have maybe experienced a similar situation and have gotten through it.
 
 

Fast loser, slow loser, I am a half-fast loser! On average, I lose about 3 lbs each week. But on the other hand, I'm eating good and haven't really had to exercise hard. I walk 5 days a week and am working my way up to 5 miles per day. I've managed to get to 5 miles only 2 times since I've started. Knee and hip pain sometimes interfere with my walking.
 
How I wanted to be one of those posters who could say they lost 100 lbs in 6 months, but it doesn't look like it's in the cards for me. But I try to be satisfied with a steady down tick of the scale.
 
If I can maintain this downward pace, I'll be down 150 lbs in 10 months. That would be freakin awesome! That would put me at my lowest weight since high school - 27 years ago! And at 190 - my ideal body weight.
 
Jeeze, until I wrote that last sentence, I hadn't taken time to do the math! 190 seems like a weight someone else is, not me. I don't know if I can handle being normal. It seems like one of those daydreams that only comes true in the movies.
 
Ok, back on topic - the one thing most fast losers don't mention in their posts is, what they had to do to have such fast results.
Did they workout 7 days a week on the treadmill for hours, living on Unjury and water? Or do they have a naturally fast metabolism?
 
Or are they just attention whores, looking for approval and praise?
 
***Disclaimer, I know of no one that has lied about their weight loss! And no animals were harmed in the writing of this post. But my cat thinks I'm starving him!***
 
Anyway, the whole point of this post was supposed to be, be satisfied that you are losing weight - whatever the speed! If you want to lose faster: move a little more, eat a little better, and stick with the guidelines from your NUT.
 
Oh, and don't forget to have a support group like the good folks here on verticlesleevetalk. You don't have to post anything, it helps me just seeing that others have the same questions and concerns keeps me from feeling alone.

Well, it's here. Day 13 of my pre-op diet. I can't believe I didn't die. I really felt like I was going to a couple of times. That is that hardest thing I've ever had to do. And I cheated! I actually dreamed about tacos last Friday night. I woke up and realized that I was obsessing! So, I had a taco from my favorite Mexican restaurant. Oh well. At least it was off my mind then.
 
I'm so weak that I almost crawled up the stairs to my classroom this morning. I get no protein today. Only clear liquids. I've had a sore throat since last Wednesday thanks to the dry desert that I live in, so the cough drops are what is saving me today.
 
I'm very, very (did I say very?) emotional. I feel like I could cry at any moment. I think it's because I'm just so tired. I'm also a little pissed at my husband this week. This is a very stressful process. So, when I get home today I'm going to go to my room and cry. Just get it all out. I know I will feel so much better!
 
I have prepared everything at work for my two day absence. Thank goodness Monday is a holiday. I also have an intern coming in next week to help me out or just to be present. Luckily, my job is not physically demanding and my kids know what I'm going through. They have been very supportive.
 
I haven't packed a thing for the hospital. I figure I won't be able to sleep tonight, so I will leave it for then. I bought pretty new jammies and a robe. I'll take slippers because the biggest fear I have is gas pain! So I'm going to walk as soon as the pain meds clear from my brain.
 
Speaking of pain meds...this is my biggest fear. I hate being drugged. Pain or no pain, I just don't like it. I took Motrin with both of my kids and it was fine. I really hope I don't have to have much tomorrow. I don't want to be a martyr, but I don't want to be spacy and loopy either.
 
A less serious fear is the discerning comments that my husband has made. Twice he has mentioned something about getting skinny and finding someone else. Makes me think he is a little insecure. I'm a little happy that he would worry. Maybe he should pay a little more attention.
 
Anyway, here we go. A brand new journey. I feel like I'm at the airport and they're going to call my flight number any minute. I love to fly!

I found one of my trigger foods. It's spaghetti or more specifically pasta. My mom made some homemade spaghetti on Sunday (homemade as in, homemade from a jar, you know, the same line of thought as Olive Garden treats you like family). Really, Olive Garden treats you like family, I don't recall my mom ever presenting a bill at the end of a meal. But I digress.
 
Any way, I took the leftovers home with me. For supper, I ate my normal portion, and a few minutes later wanted another portion - even though my stomach was telling me I was stuffed to the top. I wanted it so bad that I would have cage wrestled a bear for another bowl.
 
It wasn't easy, but I stopped myself. The hardest part - and I can't believe it was so difficult to do - was to throw out the spaghetti. I kept telling myself that I could space out the spaghetti into several meals during the week. But, I knew if I left it in the house, I'd find some way to convince myself to eat more that eventing. There is a dog that trots through my yard daily, so he may be going into insulin shock today!
 
Only 1 other time have I wanted to eat something so bad - it was a banana laying in the fruit bowl. So adios spaghetti noodles, I'll eat you at mom's house, but you won't be coming home with me anymore.

I have reached the 10 month mark post surgery at the end of January. I am finally down 60 lbs. My weekly weight loss has been a series of slow losses, never reaching the 1 lb + mark. This has led to a “will I” or “won’t I” get to a 60 lbs loss every time I have stepped on the scale this past month.
 
Now that I have reached my short term goal of 60 lbs I am moving on to the next goal which is to get out of the 180’s (I am currently at 185.6). Since my surgery date I have averaged a loss of about .8 lbs a week (so sloooow).
 
I am continuing to go to Crossfit three times a week. I have now been going for 6 months. I continue to have a love/hate relationship with working out but I am working on that. The routines have a lot of weight lifting so if you thought you couldn’t do any “weight lifting” after the surgery…not true. I joined the gym’s Paleo challenge for the month of February. It isn’t that much different then how I normally eat but I thought the challenge might help me through this slow weight loss period. I’m only on day one today but the biggest challenge has been to drink ½ my weight in water.
 
My clothing sizes haven’t fluctuated much this past month. I am between a 14 and 16 in pants (mostly a 16 with some 14’s) and a L/XL top (again mostly XL).
 
My hair is growing out nicely but I am losing more than I ever did pre-surgery. My hair went from “thick” to “medium” in weight. I am growing out a very short haircut and the fact that I can pull it back in a rather scraggly pony tail is cause for celebration.
 
I eat pretty normally, except for smaller portions and not going back for seconds or thirds. I do try to limit carbs and sugar (the Paleo challenge should help with that). I still eat when I am bored and I have to watch that.
 
I don’t regret my surgery and am glad I did it. I am getting lots of compliments and “how did you do it?” to which I reply “eating South Beach like diet for the most part” – which is true. I really don’t want to put “weight loss surgery” out there and have anyone undermine the effort I have put into loosing the weight.
 
Wish me luck for the next month. Hopefully I will be in the 170’s if all goes well

I have been battling some buyers remorse. I am soooooooo tired of soups and soft foods. My docs instructions, are full liquids, protein drinks, scrambled egg only, yogurt, cheeses, refried beans and fish. No purees. This sounded great 2 weeks ago but now I would rather not eat than have the things I am allowed. I am not getting in my protein or all of my fluids. I have also hit a stall. I am sure its because of my lack of protein and fluids.
It has been so depressing when my daughter insisted I go out to lunch with her the other day, I replied "why so you can pay 12.00 for the 3 spoons of soup I will
hate?"
This morning I had a talk with myself, I know this is temporary. I know I needed this surgery and was blessed to be able to have it. I am determined that starting today I will eat some protein every 3 hours, drink my fluids and do some light exercise.
In one more week I can add shrimp, crab, chicken and turkey, soft veggies, salad and fruit!!!!!!!!! Yea!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Life will be so much easier then. I will feel like I can actually make a regular meal, I have been collecting some high protein recipes and can't wait to try them.

My teeny tiny 4'11 friend have lost 32 pounds recently.She just got a huge promotion and today we decided to buy her a whole new wardrobe of dresses and shirts.
 
Of course the old stuff had to be turfed.As she was emptying her closets she came to me and said that most of her stuff is size 14 but some is 16 and I must fit them on.Never thinking they could fit I reluctantly tried and boy what a surprize.
 
Even her work suites fit me.And as I am more curvy they look gooood! An even bigger surprize is the fact that all the size 14 skirts fit as well.The tops are still to tight around the bust though.
 
Tis is such a blessing because they have been nagging me to buy new clothes.But for a few bits and bops I havent wanted to buy new stuff yet.I want to wait until just before the christmas holiday when we go home and should be down even another size by then.
 
The best of this is I have been buying her clothes for her for years as she is just too busy and she hated clothes shopping.I also have much better dress sense than her so she's got some really nice stuff.
 
Now I have new stuff and she has new stuff.She looks like a million dollars in all her new outfits and my kids mouths were hanging open when I walked into the lounge with some of her clothes on.
 
So I am shrinking,I just didnt realize it until today.
 
O and as we were walking,we played the size game again.I have to show her women I think are the same size than me and she would tell me yes or no and then show me people that are rally the same size than me.I still find it hard to believe when I see the people she shows me.But it helps me get in touch with my size slowly but surely.

I haven't been feeling very well for about two weeks. The pain has been on my left side, under my rib cage, almost center. The pain was also in my back around my kidney area. The pain would come in waves and cause me to curl up wishing for it to be over. Now, for the record, I am not a wimp. I don't cry over pain. But last night, I cried like a big fat sissy. The pain got to the point that I ended up in the ER.
 
Now, I should have known this wasn't going to be a good night when EVERYONE at the hospital I told about my sleeve responded with the question "was the by-pass or the lap-band." Even the doctor had no idea what I was talking about. Then, to make matters worse, the doctor never once touched my stomach. He shot me up with pain meds...which I didn't mind at all considering how much pain I was in...and then sent me for a CT scan and an ultrasound.
 
Needless to say, in 30mins they tell me I'm constipated. WHAT? I just paid that amount of money to find out I'm full of crap? When i asked about the pain the doctor responded, "well, that's where the poop is." WHAT??? Are you kidding me?
 
Now, for the record, I drink all day long. Not the good, get you feeling all warm inside, make a fool out of yourself drinking...just normal crystal lite. How can I be backed up? Is fiber really THAT important? I will be honest, with the little I eat, I don't' know how I could ever get any fiber in me. My husband and I even thought about if I ate anything that would cause this. Actually, I ate really well. A lot of crab and shrimp, egg, and even a protein shakes. To be honest, I thought I was eating better than I have been in five months.
 
Needless to say, they discharge me with a bottle of fizzy stuff that is supposed to loosen it all up. WHAT PART OF I HAVE A SLEEVE DO YOU NOT GET???? (what I wanted to yell at the medically trained idiot. Instead, I put the bottle in my purse, came home, got my fiber mixture out and my stool softener and took them. So far, nothing exciting has happened. Hopefully by tomorrow it will all work it's way out. Then, if I am still in pain, I will know it's way more than crap. But for now, it's official...I'm truly full of sh#$!!!

Day 151: Too Normal
 
This morning I weighed in at 185.2lbs and then I walked into my closet and stared at the emptiness. My closet is EMPTY. I literally cannot wear anything I was wearing five months ago. Well, at least not unless I'm going for the baggy look.
 
I'm so surprised that I've stuck with it. I'm still doing all my protein, getting in all my fluids, taking my vitamins, and exercise is just a part of my life now. But my name is Miss Fickle, I'm known to grow tired of doing the same thing within a matter of weeks or months. I'm just amazed. I've been able to change my habits. Seriously change them. I still worry about the day I let my guard down, but I can't imagine it right now. I do not crave popcorn when I go to theaters, I feel *sick* after just a few tastes of my friend's ice cream (a splurge for me) -- and I'm not sad about it. Real food has never tasted so good to me. And the *fake* foods just do nothing for me now. I have a few bites of pasta, and I'm not jazzed about it like I used to be. Funny thing, I love the smell of the pasta cooking. Some days, I just don't know how I got here. It seems like just yesterday I was waking up from my surgery. It was just last Christmas I was huffing and puffing on my brother's stairs.
 
I have gotten out of the habit of journaling. Not happy about that, but it's been nice to have a break. I got to the point I had almost every meal memorized, so I just stopped. I'd like to get back into it, I know I will. But so long as I'm still losing, I'm not too worried about it. I keep to what I know, only deviating for a bite here and there of special things on rare occasions.
 
It's nice to feel normal again. To not worry when a friend wants to go out, to not panic when I'm going to be gone all day and need to pack snacks. I look at my scars and wonder if it was just a dream?
 
Now, I just need to sell some of these clothes that are taking up all the space in my guest closet before my mom comes to visit!!

Well, the day has finally come that I have to give up my "GOOD" scale. It is the one that has always told me that I am anywhere from 5 to 10 pounds less than EVERY other scale in the world, rendering all other scales garbage. The doctor, the gym, the surgeon...all of their scales are junk. They're broken. Poo poo. Until now. My good scale is a manual dial type scale, that now only registers 5 or 10 pound losses. I can't hang with that. I need to know the daily ounces of my loss or bounce. (I know, I know. I said I'd never do that, but I don't get all freaked out over it anymore.)
 
So....my new, evil Weight Watchers brand scale from Costco says I weigh 287!!! Just like all of those OTHER stupid scales! Nowhere to run- nowhere to hide. This means... {GULP} That I did NOT start at 340, but at....349!! AAAHHHHHHHH!!!!! I know, I know...in the grand scheme of things, what's 9 pounds? I've still lost 62 no matter how you cut it. It's just that my starting weight and current weight are, well...shifted up a bit. It's almost like I'm not really who I thought I was!! (insert dramatic music here) HAHAHA Ok, I'm being dramatic for effect, but you get my drift. (BIG SIGH HERE;)
 
Anyway- if anyone has paid any attention to my stats (which a couple of you have mentioned that you have) that's why the change in numbers. I'm finally being forced to face reality. WAAAAHHHH!!!!

Probably the food I have most dreaded trying was salads. I have put off eating one for fear of it causing an issue. Well, Saturday I tried a small salad, and . . . TA-DA!!! No issues! I've had one almost every day since! Still no issues. So thankful I have missed having salads and now that it seems they aren't an issue, it's such a relief.
 
I'm down 45lbs today, and am so happy!! This sleeve definitely rocks!
 
I watched a series of videos on YouTube last night about a 19 year old boy in Houston, Texas who weighed 799lbs. It was heartbreaking. I thought about how easily that could have been me if I didn't get things under control. It's horrifying what "junk food" and "fast food" can do to one's body, and how horribly addictive those things can be. For me, NEVER AGAIN!! I am now in control of what I eat and what I don't eat.
 
I never knew that the sleeve was an option for me, if not for this forum. I wouldn't have had the courage to go through with it if not for the encouragement and support of folks on this board! Thank the Lord I found it. :wub:

well iam just so nervous and happy at the same time i have to be at the hospital @730am to have my sleeve done

March 6th had arrived. I was so freaking excited!! My parents had decided to take the boys to the lake for a week so I could recover. The only thing that was giving a twinge of worry was the drain. I am not good with medical things. I even hide my eyes and gag a little when a doctor gives a shot on TV. So this drain is a huge source of panic in my world.
 
My surgery was scheduled for noon. I had to be at the hospital at 10 am. That gives me time to sleep in a little, spend a little time with my family, and reassure my husband that this is what I want to do.
 
I am going to a side note here, but this is not a sillly observation, it is a sincere one. My husband is someone that I can say truely loves me. Not who I think I am or who I want to be, just me. He has loved me at size 12 (when he met me), size 18 (when he married me) and size 22 (when he followed me into the hospital that morning) and all the ups and downs in between. He has never made me feel fat or ugly. He is truely a beautful human being. When I made the decision to do this, I saw the panic on his face. Not because of the money or time, but because he said he is scared to live without me. I have had to give my brother my medical power or attorney because my husband said he won't pull the plug. He said he can't be the one to kill me. He did assure me that he respects my decision and will not fight my brother; he said he just can't be the one that makes that decision.
 
So, at 9:30 we dropped my boys off at daycare. With tears in my eyes, I kissed them each good-bye. I knew that I was going to be fine, but there is always that chance. Telling your kids good-bye is a little scary when it might be the last time. I sent my step-daughter a message telling her I loved her. Then, we started out for the hospital. I was chatty and my husband was nervous. He did not feel like talking so we fussed at each other. I took it with a grain of salt. I knew he wasn't mad at me. When checked into the hospital, we were immediately sent to the pre-op (no time to change my mind). I weighed in there and I had officially lost 20 pounds before my surgery. Woo-hoo!!!
 
I was put in my room, changed my clothes, and met all the pre-op nurses. My parents and mother-in-law joined us and helped me pass the time. I cherish those moments. I guess when you are in a situation like this, you sit back and thank God for the little things that make us happy and my family is it. The nurses came in and tried to start an IV. Because I had been on a liquid diet for a week and clear liquids the day before and NPO since midnight, I was a little dehydrated. It took two nurses one hour to find a vein they could use. They kept saying, "Your veins are so deep". (Sidenote: If any of you are nurses reading this, when you say something like "your veins are so deep" what your patient hears is "You are so fat, your arms are even carrying a load. Stop eating cake, fat butt" Well, they finally got the IV started in my hand using a baby needle. If that didn't solidify my decision about having this surgery I don't know what could have.
 
The time had come and they were finally wheeling me to the OR. The nurses are just talking away. I finally looked up and said "You know I know what you are saying". The nurse looked at me in shock. They apparently forgot to give me the wacky juice I was supposed to get before they carted me off. When I got to the OR, a line of nurses was waiting for me. They even did the wave as I passed by. I said "They forgot the wacky juice, I am soooo going to remember you doing that!" Everyone laughed and began talking at once. I was able to help them get me to the operating bed. I talked to the doctor that was going to put me to sleep (Side note: I know what the name is and no idea how to spell it, so don't judge!) I mentioned to him that I was going to remember speaking to him and I BETTER NOT remember any of that surgery. He promised me that he hasn't had a patient remember in 18 years, and he promised not to blemish that record. Thankfully, he was right.
 
Unfortunately, when I woke up, I did not like him or anyone else very much. I HURT!!!!!. . .

Ya know, I really hate it when I give someone explicit instructions - even WRITE THEM DOWN about what I can eat and they don't follow them and then get pissy at ME because they don't follow instructions. Don't volunteer yourself to go get lunch if you're not going to pay attention. Knowing I have specific food requirements, you should probably pay attention. I didn't write it down because I'm trying to annoy you, I'm trying to do things right. If you don't want to do them right, don't volunteer to do them. I get that mistakes are made - no big deal, but then to get pissy and lash out at ME because you can't seem to handle it - that ain't gonna fly.

I have been heavy up and down all my life. I had thought about the RNY but it seemed to drastic and way out of reach dolllar wize in the states. I recently just 2 years ago saw a dr. in Bend Oregon who before he would see me had to have cash up front of $2500 just for some simple tests and exam. well that was a waste of cash! well tax return came and went...other things are always more important than yourself.
 
I finally had a visit with a local girl in Burns who had Dr. Aceves perform her lap band...she was excited, happy with the care and services. The hospital was clean and quiet....she could not boast loud enough about the care she recieved, So I did some research and this is when I made the decision...this year was gonna be my time to shine. My knees are going to feel better when they are not packing 354 lbs of person on them.
 
This grama of 4 is gonna be a cool grama, one that can kneel down and kiss the babies and get down and play on the floor with them. My babies will never again say "Grama why you so tired all the time"....I am excited to start my new way of living.
 
I have lost my love life relationship with my husband, I want this back more than anything. He is not so supportive and over the years has become more of a roommate than a husband. I want this to change aas well, I want to rock his world again like I did the first time we met. I love him more than he knows.
 
I have very supportive friends and family during this time, so I am praying for a fast recovery and quick weight loss.
 
I will post more when I get home.

Well it has been 6 months since my gastric sleeve surgery. Up to now the weight was flying off and I was having no trouble meeting my 10 pound goal per month. This wonderful weight loss stopped dead after entering my 6th month. It is so frustrating to get so close to my goal weight and then bam it stops. Of course this is different for every individual. Every person responds differently to weight loss surgery. With Gastric Bypass surgery the average weight loss is 60-77% Excess Body Weight Loss (EBWL) in the first two years. That means that if a person is carrying 100 extra pounds, they will lose 60-77 in about 2 years. The Sleeve is 60-65%. These numbers are averages for large populations of US patients. I called to Dr Michael Feiz and spoke to him about this. He said this was a normal reaction that my body has now lost more than 60% of my excess body weight. The weight loss per month will now go down from 10-15pds per month to 2 to 5 pounds per month.
Having talked with the dietitian on staff with Dr. Feiz we came up with new meal plans to achieve each goal per month. Morning meals now consist of complete protein such as protein shakes or an egg white omelet. Lunch – 2oz of protein with fruit such as a ½ of apple or pear. Mid afternoon snacks, a small piece of cheese or a protein shake. Dinner – consisting of 2oz of protein and 3-4 oz vegetable. Not drinking with any meals all this does is fill the stomach with empty calories hence I was hungry shortly after. Drinking 60 to 70 oz of water a day is a must. What I do after each meal, I drink 6 to 8 ounces of zero calorie free flavored water or Snapples diet. Every hour I drink until I have satisfied my total intake of fluids.

Its so easy to start slipping into the old habits of eating when you don’t see the weight flying off. I found myself snacking on empty carbs, not drinking the fluids and just having this nonchalant attitude with myself. I also stopped doing my daily routine of exercise. Staying on track is not an easy feat to do. It can be a complete disaster when you start giving up. The scale will tip in your favor if and ONLY you stick with your doctor’s advice.

 

Having the gastric sleeve is not a “cure all” for your weight loss. It takes dedication and determination to follow completely through even when you are at stumbling blocks. My best advice for this – stay in touch with your doctor. Tell him/her what’s going on and what to do to fix this. Ask questions and most of all don’t give in to temptation even when the scale does not show to your favor. Stay true to yourself…you have come so far with your weight loss. Don’t sabotage yourself and fall into old habits.
 
Given the right tools to beat these temporary obstacles thorough education process and ongoing support will give you every advantage you’ll need to over achieve. If you are serious about losing the weight and are willing to dedicate yourself to what needs to be done you will achieve your ultimate goals. Remember you are in control of you and its up to and only you to make this happen.

Well, I returned to work, arrived early - 7 AM, since I had insomnia last night - I figured I'd make the most of the day. After I got my walk on with the love of my life. My hubbage has been super awesome supportive. I am blessed. I keep my big GNC MIO flavored water at my side where ever I go, and I have a bottle of Isopure on my desk. I sip, sip, sip and that does the trick. I had egg-salad at my desk - started at 12, and finished at 3 - I took my sweet time eating bit by bit. I'm so afraid of feeling uncomfortable and visiting up-chuck city at work that I would rather slowly pace myself. Granted, it is HARD AS HELL. The shadow man from stress eater land is lurking over me all the time. It is so wierd to want to eat but to not be hungry. I think that is the biggest challenge for me. Recognizing and listening to my stress triggers and not immediately thinking FOOD. I find so much support, positivity and community on this site - thank you who ever reads and comments, you are lifting my spirit as I work through this life change. Every smiley face is getting a smile right back. I talked to my HR Director, she did not turn over the paperwork to my boss, kept it confidential as requested, fully supported me. (I LOVE WHEN HR DOES WHAT THEY SHOULD). I met with my boss, the good news...well she told me about my "bonus" for the performance year - we did well. However, she "negatively modified" my bonus because she felt I "struggled" this year. Let me define the struggle. An anonymous complaint to HR w/out facts, inuendo and no specific examples to substantiate the claim. I've asked time and again - but to no avail. And I got "dinged" because she did not feel I had as outstanding of a year as my peers. She smiled the whole time she said it. She's inspires me to be a better person. Even though it was a small "ding" - it is the point none the less. I've been working on my Resume - time to be successful somewhere else. Some day. I love my staff, my team, the work I do. It is challenging, fun. I've got AWESOME health bennies. So, I shut up and put up, or I move on. I don't think I could handle moving on so soon. So I will vent, and deal. And wish the flees of a thousand camels infest her pants.