I am not sure where the phrase was coined but "living large" no longer has negative connotations for me! I used to hear that and think instantly of my size. Now it is about how I want to live my life.
Only 3 weeks post op and I already am feeling like a new person. I feel much more confident in myself and am already feeling revitalized and a renewed outlook on the future.
I have found myself wandering the clothing aisles at stores and not dreading looking at size 22 but venturing down a few sizes thinking that will be me soon!!!! I had heard the "BMI" term used over the years and never gave it much thought before this surgery. Now, I am excited by that #. I have had two visits with the surgeon post-op so far and the # has dropped from 50.5 to 45.5 already! If I can make that significant of a difference in it in just weeks, imagine months from now!!!
I have found strength to not long for my (former) favorite foods, even when they smell and look so good within my reach. It is actually quite empowering to have that will power now. I am not saying I will never mess up, but that "flub" doesn't have to define me and doesn't mean I am completely off the wagon. It just means I need to make better choices for my next meal. Heck, people that are healthy and thin overeat or indulge from time to time. It's all about moderation and being accountable to myself.
I know I can do this. Admittedly, the first couple days I had a few "feel sorry for myself" moments but I got myself into this and I need to get myself out!
My goals are not to look like Cindy Crawford or Kim Kardashian. My goals are what will make me feel good, not worrying about going to events where there may be a turnstyle, not having to retake photos all the time because I don't like how I look in them, getting off BP meds, hopefully ridding myself of sleep apnea and then all the little things - enjoying going clothes shopping in the misses (not women's) dept, not tiring as easily, crossing my legs (cannot wait for that, even if it isn't good for your circulation), and my goal for next summer - going to the amusement park I have avoided for years!!!!
No time for pity parties ~ time to start LIVING LARGE!!!
I was driving home the other day from an event (I own a photobooth company) and was listening to my Grease Soundtrack and Olivia sang it out ........."Sandy, you must start a new, don't you know what you must do". "Hold your head high, take a deep breath insiiiiiiiide"....."Goodbye to Sandraaaaa Deeee". I thought how fitting and think that will be my new montage. Although I've lost 59lbs, I'm still not to ONEDERLAND, I'm still living in TWOterville (and my hubby can attest to that in more ways than one!)
When I got home and started uploading my pictures from the event, I flashed by this picture and realized it was me! I fully understand most people who see this picture would say I have a lot more to lose. Indeed I do, however sometimes I actually forget that I've lost almost SIXTY freakin pounds! That's a lot of double chins that are gone, let me tell ya. As with so many diets I've put myself through, I've always taken monthly pictures. I chose not to do that this time. My plastic surgeon yelled at me and said I should keep progress. Progress to me is looking six months from the time I had surgery and flashing by a picture and seeing, "wow, I'm really doing this!" I know I have a long road, but I can say with confidence, I look good!
So I was banded on March 5th 2012 at a size 18/20. Well on Sunday I tore a tag off of a 14/16 dress for church and YEP it was TOO BIG..... YAAYYYYY. Now I have only lost 24 pounds which does not seem like a lot to me, but I am happy with my success so far. I am only 7 weeks out and down in sizes so hay... I guess that is my first NSV..... its the small things that count and keep you motivated and I am ecstatic I still have 58 pounds to go and I am ready for the remainder of my journey and to get to where I want to be....... Loving my lap band....
