Chimera

So sorry I am so terrible at keeping up - I know i am probably viewed as an outsider, I have been so busy i don't have a lot of time online that isn't related to my job right now. I am Kelly btw We had our support group meeting today at the hospital and the talk was about Overeaters Anonymous - something I have long considered looking into - it was nice to hear how transformational those meetings have been for fellow surgery folk. Lord knows I am having a time of it now - seem to be in the grip of the carb/candy /holiday beast - soon it will be over! I was thinking that I need a lint trap for my life - I dunno why, perhaps it is due to having a lot less padding as protection (like that protected me hah!) but I come home from work utterly flayed, lacking in confidence - just feeling like I want to disappear. Was even looking at protection types of gemstones I could carry in my pockets to ward off negative energy - and increase positive ones...I know it is me - I feel like I am some hellish sponge that is absorbing all of the yucky stuff around me and making myself think that i suck (like its all about me - feels so self absorbed.) On a bright note I have been buying hideous holiday sweaters for my family - they are pretty epic - i will post a picture of us all on Christmas. GT I also live in Seattle - West Seattle specifically and I work downtown - if there is anything i can help with - please let me know. Wishing you all the very best! Kel

Hi ladies! Doing my best to keep up - As far as the post counts go I would probably tend to not make the grade as I think my reading to posting ratio is about 90>10 I mentioned it on the vets forum but I am just trying to get through the next 3 weeks without gaining all of my weight back! Good grief there is temptation at every turn - M2G your post about the sticky nuts had me cracking up - food items like that are my utter downfall - take a yummy highly nutritious, highly caloric tiny little thing and baste it in salt or sugar and I can be assured to eat 10,000 times as much as I am supposed to - thank goodness that the sleeve limits it - least nuts I find filling. Not so fluffy pastry types of things. Hearing about co-workers and dieting - I remember a gal I used to work with, she and I started Weight Watchers together years ago - and I poked along, losing weight very slowly, struggling, journaling, doing my best like most folks do - meanwhile my friend just melted, every week she would rack up losses of anywhere from 3 - 5 lbs...and I am thinking wtf! wtf is the The Biggest Loser or something? for months this went on - she trains for marathon - seems to always make healthy choices and I continue to lose at a snails pace.... Well fast forward a few years later and she has now gained all of it back and about 70 more - she confided that during our WW stint she had been purging, starving, and became obsessed with exercise to the point it was unhealthy - I felt so sad for her that things were so crazy for her and she couldn't it share with me - she only wanted to destroy me, leave me in the dust with her losses that I could never match. I love her because I understand how wacked out all of our issues with food, body images etc are - it may take me the rest of my freaking life to get to goal but I sure am glad that the issues are not as bad as they used to be when I was younger - that the sleeve has so helped with them by getting a huge chunk of the weight off so I can do the work - like meds help me do the work as well. Feed - the positive affirmation you shared for LV is incredibly beautiful - brought a tear to my eye - thank you for sharing it - I feel like I want it tattooed to the inside of my eyelids

That's rough with the eating of ingredients for planned meals - I think at our house now that if there is anything new that appears that is not in our regular weekly shopping that the youngster knows that it is probably not meant for her to eat - I act as 'the Gatekeeper" I have too because my husband and I (and both kids demonstrate similar tendencies) are addicted to food - and can easily slide into a disordered relationship with the substance - very easily at 18+ months out now. Youngster has been know to eat oh say 8-10 Greek yogurts in an afternoon after I said that she could try some of mom and dad's yogurt...it is irritating to me that I have to splain to her that she cannot eat all of them. she will do the same thing with any baked carb that enters the house if I do not hide it (these are usually for guests) I bought croissants for a brunch - and 12 croissants disappeared within the hour.... I let everyone know that such and such is for this meal/event and do not touch it - I think if it ever did get consumed by anyone after the heads up there would be very dire consequences lol. Fluff - a great resource for me are the books and workbooks by Judith S. Beck which I have mentioned in another recent thread. I have spent years in eating disorder groups, and personal therapy and the told offered in her books are some of the most helpful I have found. cognitively based to help you retrain your brain.

As far as dealing with the compulsion - keeping the house a 'safe zone' for foods is probably at the core of what has made my husband's and my own vsg surgery a success - we have a teen in the house who dropped 20 lbs. in the first year after our surgeries and was very happy with her svelte figure - what was amazing is that last summer she went to visit family back in North Carolina - and in 3 weeks she put on 23 lbs. 120 to 143...I guess it is a carb free-for-all basically at grandma's - they were buying those cheap 5 lbs. tubs of ice cream and would go through one a week, that is not including all the other goodies that were basically always on hand. This time of the year is really rough as we are hosting a football party this Sunday (go Seahawks!) and though I have veggies and hummus and salad and lean filet mignon - there are also a lot of devilish Cookies, popcorny types of things from costco as well - think those tall Harry and David tower of treats...yikes. I think my goal is to just hang on and not gain anything over the next 3 weeks lol. As far as the complaining from the teen set that there is nothing to eat - I let them know that they can go get something and eat it away from the house. If we do go to get something that we did not prepare - I journal it - usually prepare for it (I do the free meal thing one a week, seems to work well). The young one has a job location sandwiched between a McDonald's and Starbucks - and has a deep preference for anything fast, easy, that requires no effort on her part - I worry that she will get big like we did :/ - ahh well she has seen what utter lack of mindful eating, complete hedonism with one's food will do to your body - hopefully she can nip gains in the bud if they get out of hand - I hope she sees us as her cautionary tale.

<---Shares the same crazy Great post - thank you Laura! I love the tiger analogy - so true. Not true for all folks - but medication definitely helps me with in my own ongoing struggles with anxiety/ptsd and compulsive behaviors. I think I realized a few years ago that this will always be with me, and dealing with it will always be a part of me and my (and my family's) life. Sometimes I get pretty sad - wishing that it was just gone - thinking how much easier life would be... I just get worn out - its exhausting.

wow - that is nuts... lol

Figured out what my url pasting problem is - browser issue I love this site - helps to see the variety of shapes and sizes. http://www.mybodygallery.com/ And I enjoy some of these types of threads from MFP - I too am 5'3" and have about 25 lbs to goal - some good stuff here - and realistically how long it takes folks who have 30 to lose - to lose it - most seem to be in the range of 5-7 months or so. http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/725214-5-4-ladies-out-there-share-you-pics-please http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/803155-5-3-5-5-females-can-you-show-me-your-transformation

I would like to speak to numbers 6, 7, and 8. I think a wonderful resource is The Beck Diet Solution and workbook - by Judith Beck, Ph.D. - don't be misled by the title, it is really about addressing the myriad of cognitive and behavioral issues that come into play when one struggles with disordered eating - all the head stuff that we must work on in order to succeed over the long haul. There are a set of response cards that come with the workbook - and you also make your own. These are the phrases that are on that set of cards - which I have found helpful in my own "brain re-training". The Beck Solution Response Cards 1. Do It Anyway - Even if I don't feel like using a diet skill, I have to do it anyway. If I only do what I feel like doing, I wont be able to lose weight and keep it off. 2. Give Myself Credit - I deserve credit EVERY TIME I exercise. I deserve credit EVERY TIME I practice a dieting skill. I deserve credit EVERY TIME I stick to my plan. 3. Eat Mindfully - I need to eat slowly and mindfully while sitting down - EVERY SINGLE TIME. 4. It's Okay To Disappoint People - I am entitled to do what I have to do to lose weight, as long as I am nicely assertive. 5. Say No To Extra food - Get rid of extra food. It'll be wasted in the trash can or in my body. Either way, it's wasted. 6. Put Dieting First - I have to plan my life around exercise and dieting activities, not vice versa. I deserve to put myself first. 7. Exercise No Matter What - If I don't feel like exercising, remember: 5 minutes is better than 0 minutes. Say NO CHOICE. The hardest part is getting started; then it gets easier. 8. Tolerate It! - Hunger and cravings are not emergencies. I can tolerate them. They are mild compared to ____________________________. I am going to eat in ________ hours anyway. 9. Distraction Techniques - When I want to eat something I shouldn't, Do these things instead:_____________________________________________________________. 10. If I am Hungry After a Meal - Don't worry! it may take 20 minutes to feel full. 11. No Excuses - Just because I want to eat, doesn't mean I should. 12. Resistance Habit - EVERY TIME I eat something I am not supposed to, I strengthen my giving-in habit. EVERY TIME I don't give in, I strengthen my resistance habit. 13. Can't Have it Both Ways - I can be Loose with my eating OR I can be thinner - I cant be both. 14. It's Not Okay - It's NOT OKAY to eat this. I'm going to be very sorry if I do. 15. I'll Care Later - I may not care right now, but I will care A LOT when I get on the scale. 16. I'd Rather be Thinner - Being thinner is SO much more important to me than eating this food. 17. NO CHOICE - NO CHOICE - NO CHOICE. 18. Get Back on Track - If I eat something I shouldn't have I haven't blown it. its not the end of the world. its just a mistake. Get back on track this minute! Don't keep on eating! that makes no sense. It is a million times better to stop now than to allow myself to eat more. 19. Celebrate! - I should Celebrate each half-pound loss! 20. Oh, Well - I don't like this, but I'm going to accept it and move on. 21. Advice to a Friend - If my best friend were discouraged, disappointed, or dismayed, what would I tell him/her? 22. Be Realistic - I shouldn't expect to lose weight every single week. 23. I Don't Comfort Myself with Food - If I am upset, don't eat to seek comfort! it wont solve the problem, and I'll just feel worse. 24. Enrich my Life Today - I need to work toward developing a rich and rewarding life - right now.

Fasting today - I am going to keep it at 500 if it kills me! My schedule has just been killing me - and the politics of academia.../sigh. Ridiculous amounts of work and prep for very little pay and no job security - I should just go get a job at Barnes & Noble lol. I am maintaining - I guess this is good, normally I would be gaining, certainly at this time of the year with all of the sweet treats and being cold all the time - which makes me want to spend quality time with my electric blanket. Sad and happy news - a gal who attended our support group meetings (who had a lapband) has had some horrid things happen recently. She always wanted the sleeve -but the band is what her insurance would pay for - she did well, losing about 120 lbs over the course of a few years but never achieved her goal weight. She had her band removed last string and gained back 70+ lbs - she had a revision to a RNY in October - went home and things were just not feeling right - they operated again and she had blood clots behind her stomach/pouch and liver - they repaired these but she got sepsis... She is still in the hospital - she just came off the ventilator, I guess has a trach and they kept her surgery site open so they could continue to get at it (yikes!) she has been in a medically induced coma for weeks - they removed her colon and large parts of her intestines - I guess she ballooned up to 300+ with fluids but that is starting to come down now. She is in her mid-40s. I feel so sad that she has had these terrible complications and reminds me to count my blessings that I am so much healthier today than I was a couple of years back. I love the idea of a discussion of the 8 healthy behaviors - that is good stuff. I should post some stuff from my Beck workbook (cognitive therapy for weight loss/maintenance etc.)

Being super morbidly obese for the majority of my life - I think I will always struggle with significant body dysmorphia - my poor husband - the first year it was constantly "I'm I that size? Am I bigger or small than that person" when we were out and about. Whereas I used to spend most of my time with my head down and eyes averted as to not encourage being called names - now I love looking at people - love being normal enough that I am no longer a target for ridicule ( ahh what we have to go through with this struggle eh?) some sites/forums that I like to look at are these, they seem to help me see the variety of sizes, shapes, at various weights etc - I am 5'3" - 49 years old btw. Hmmm - I don't understand why I cant paste a url here....anyone have the magic answer?

Strange that it wont let you simply paste a URL into a reply - selecting the link option above seems poorly designed and it doesn't work.

Hi ladies! Fasting today - trying to get my latte and snack habit under control - as it is waaaay out of hand at the moment. If left to my own devices during a busy and stressful work period (college professor here) I will live on 3 latte's and 1 low fat berry coffee cake a day. Bad! We are going out for turkey dinner tomorrow with family - did the same last year and it was great - no cooking all day, not being surrounded with all the left overs really works for me I need to read the other forums more! I usually only read here, vets, and fitness/exercise so I miss out on the dishy stuff. Cgj - I too like the other shapes for you rather than the bootcut - on What Not to Wear they always go on about how much more flattering bootcut pants are and I simply have to disagree - or its situational. I am short 5'3", and also have short legs - long torso - bootcuts work well when I am actually wearing my boots, then I think I loo kinda cool - but I think they make me look dumpy with other shoes. Vanity sizing - I can shimmy my big rump into a size 2 from Target - pretty fishy to me - the last time I weighed this little was in the 1980's and it was a 12-14 back then lol. Also I wanted to mention a book that I just finished that I really have enjoyed and you guys might like as well - The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin. Trying to link it from Amazon - just about lost my post and had a heart attack!

Hi you guys! I am sorry I have not come to the new bariatric pal site (still getting used to it) - I have been very busy with work, family, etc. I did well on my lecture tour to AZ - although the first day I arrived it was like some crazy dessert monster took over my brain and I stopped and had a latte - along with a bun or pastry - a few times that day. At least I got lots of walking in, 20k steps for 3 days according to the fitbit. My weight has been pretty much the same - shimmying up and down but going no lower. For now I am happy with that. Struggling with fasting days too - 600-650 seems to be the lowest threshold I can keep it at right now. I'll keep working on it. My thoughts are with you all - I know I don't post often but I try to keep up with everyone - and I send you all love and best wishes even if I don't always say it here - experience with sharing on the web is something I have been burned by in the past - very badly, so I can tend to keep my thoughts to myself.

I have shrunk an inch in height, went down a shoe size, 4 ring sizes...clothing from 3-5x on top with 22 pants to Medium tops and pants anywhere from a 2 to an 8 and I still have a decent amount left I could lose - crazy. With the height thing I guess maybe I had a fat head or fat platforms lol - everything else was so it makes sense.

My husband had one done prior to surgery, not post. He was not sedated at all - as he had to swallow every 30 seconds, then try his best to suppress his gag reflex for another 30 seconds - as they are taking readings and looking at what is going on in the esophagus. He had a hiatal hernia repaired during the first part of his vsg surgery. I am so sorry for your ongoing issues with this terrible stuff Lisa ....the manometery is not fun - my hubby hated it.

Just wanted to wish you all a good night and sending positive thoughts to those who are having a rough time. I struggle with the same. CGJane - you look fabulous! If you look that good right after surgery I can only imagine how great things will be when you are healed. Sleep tight - don't let the bedbugs bite

It is absolutely what you eat - or more importantly do not eat! Upping the Protein and drastically reducing carbohydrate/glycogen stores it what shrinks it - not weight loss and not Water. Though excellent hydration helps move things along as always. Rapid weight loss happens to be a nice side effect - as glycogen requires 3 times its weight in water to process - so for every unit of glycogen burned, 3 units of water come with it. this is why people usually drop at lest 10 lbs in a week on Atkins or other very low carb or no carb protocols. Livers that are not shrunk prior to surgery with a VLcarb diet are like Foie Gras - spongy and soft and easily damaged when lifted with the retractor to get to your stomach.

Heh - reminds me of the countless Weight Watchers weigh-ins - where I would wear the thinnest of thin clothes even in the dead of winter, no jewelry, shoes and all layers off, no food or water (thank goodness meetings were in the mornings, don't even what to contemplate what I would do with an evening meeting lol.) and hold my breath repeating the mantra 'angel wings' - which the weigh-in staff always got a kick out of.

You could always bring up the statistics (this is what sealed the deal for my husband and myself - we both had vsg) - if you have a BMI over 40, 100lbs or more to lose your chances of keeping it off for 5+ years is loooooow - something around 2-3%. I am certain all of us are deeply familiar with the diet/exercise losing and gaining rollercoaster. The sleeve as a tool to get our health under control is the best thing we have ever done for ourselves - we are both about 1 year and a half out and are doing great! finally we can manage our weight over the long haul - all of our co-morbidities are gone

Hi guys! Back from our SoCal vacation and woo there was a good portion of food that was sooooo not on my plan (hi Churro's, hi fried Monte Cristo sandwich the size of my head) there was also lots of trotting around - had days of over 30,000 steps and lots of movement according to my fitbit. Got home and the scale was up a bit - felt bloaty and swollen from not enough water, so I had a fast day yesterday while trying to catch up on work - got on the scale this morning and saw a new low and have claimed it for the ticker Woo for 165. Okay now I gotta get back to work!

I think folks should do what feels best to them - losing the weight that I have so far will not make me any less of an addict than I have always been so I keep on it everyday. I know that if I am not vigilant I can easily end up right where I was where I started. I weigh every morning and adjust accordingly.

Glad to hear the surgery went well! Sending healing thoughts your way. Getting ready to leave at the buttcrack of dawn for all points south (L.A. - Disneyland - meeting up with tons of friends and family - don't know how 5:2 will fare this week - I am thinking of just kicking it up a notch when I get back. Birthday week here I come - happy 19th anniversary of my 30th birthday see you guys in a week!

Was surfing about and came across this and love it - for any and all of us working with body images issues (which is most likely all of us) this is a beautiful read. http://dalefavier.blogspot.co.uk/2013/09/what-people-really-look-like.html

Hi guys - hope everyone is having a good day so far - rough week around here but the eating has been pretty okay for the most part - I think I have had only one fast day that was at 500 or just under, soo easy to have a tiny nibble and next thing its 600 - 800 - 1400 lol. Having some computer issues which is mildly irritating, everyone in the house is sick with a head cold including myself and 2/3 of my students- hubby was in the ER last night for another bout of of kidney stone pain that came on suddenly last night out of nowhere, our main family car went in the shop for repairs - this is the same car we were to be driving to SoCal next week for my birthday trip - looks like we might be renting a car - ahh well maybe Disneyland will make us all forget our troubles -that's the idea right? Glad to hear so many folks returning to beloved creative pursuits - I encourage people in the arts all day long (professor of fine arts here Eating at 1200 today - fasting tomorrow..Oh and I got a fit bit and aria scale this past week - so far I am really liking it. Have WL support group this weekend at the hospital - hopefully will get to see other vst members there (Fiddleman and his wife Phoenix79, ans Stef attend) hanging in there and have yet to see the scale move below that newest low of 168

What I found interesting is when the last plastic surgeon visited (and gave us free consultation vouchers yay ) and say you want a procedure more extensive than what your insurance will cover is that they will start operating and bill insurance - then once that is complete (say work on ones apron) then they continue the work you pay for on your own.