Suziecat

Back from the store and it it very cold out there. Wind is blowing so that makes it really cold. Kat, I would work for you but I have to work later today anyway. And they are calling for it to rain this evening. Wish we could both stay here and drink hot cocoa and enjoy a fire. And good conversation.

I'm up and drinking my hot cocoa. Thinking about going to Wal-Mart here soon. It's supposed to rain today and I have to work this afternoon. Have a great day.

I started my day out great with my eating and was still doing great going into this evening. Than I went to bible study class and blew it. Oh, they had the best Potato Soup and apple struesel(sp?) cheesecake and cookies. Yup, I ate it and blew my whole day. Maybe I was feeling good after my Doctor's appointment, knowing that it wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. Tracy, congrats on you having a good day.

Back from the Doc's and you will not believe this. I don't have a fungus. Both toes are bruised. Bruised from walking. Weird. Anyway, he had me stand up so he could see how my toes were and both of those toes have a slight curve to them so that the nailbed faces downward and if I don't keep them trimmed real good, they hit. So I have to trim them at least every 2 weeks. He went ahead and cut on them while I was there. If I wanted too I could have surgery on them like I did on the other 2 toes and have the knuckle removed and straightened out. That would be the extreme thing to do and just not sure if it's worth it right now. So, I'm home with my body intact and I'm still going to put my feet up and relax for the rest of the day. Sunny, So glad to have you here. It doesn't matter what your journey is, we are here. Hopefully you will find inspiration from one of our stories and who knows, we may find it in your story. Either way, welcome and we hope you stick around.

Good early morning. Yup, it's Monday. Well, it's Toe day. I go to the Doc's at 1pm. Right after work. :sad: Not looking forward to it. Someone asked where I work and I can't remember who it was that asked. I work at "Curves". It started out a little part time job and has slowly turned into about 20-24 hours a week. At the beginning, that was hard. I wasn't used to standing on my feet that long. Now I can go 6 hours on my feet, and still come home and go for a mile walk. Tracy, sounds like you do need to go get a little fill. I think it will help with your head. Just knowing you have that in your band will help with the eating issues. Good Luck. Michelle, I miss Yosemite. Beautiful country. The best thing about being a Scout was being able to see all the beautiful country that I did. Happy Columbus Day. Chat at you later.

Jenn, The pictures you have posted are awesome and I am in Awe of you. That is one thing I wished I could do. My Dad was a DIY'er and did so many things around our house. I can repai stuff, plumbing, drywall etc. just no remodeling. I live vicariously thru you.

Michelle, Holy Cow. That was scary. Reminded me of our times camping in the Sequoia's. We had to keep our food in coolers and hang them from the trees. No one was allowed to go to the bathroom by themselves. Glad you didn't walk out there. Sitting here watching football. Housework is done, I just need to finish up the sheets in the dryer so I can make our bed. Than it's a lazy cold afternoon.. Got y electric blanket out for my chair. Looks like me and the kitty will be curled up later. Trying to get as much done as I can today. I have a big week ahead of me. Lots to do. Starting with getting my foot done tomorrow. I grocery shopped yesterday and got stuff for the hubby to put in the microwave to feed us with. Tracy, glad you enjoyed your little peace and quiet time. Jenn, why are you sitting for hours on the bathroom floor? I hope it is because you are tiling. Hope everyone else is having a good weekend.

Back from the support group meeting and it was a really good one. They also handed out some journels to us. They are really neat and full of a lot of info. I'm looking forward to starting it Monday. I'm making rotel dip and chips for the get together this evening. Oh my. Wish me luck with that one. Jenn, have a great time this evening and take it nice and slow. But enjoy yourself.

Good Saturday Morning. I got up, fed the kitties and decided to weigh again. Umm, down another 1.5 pounds. Yup, I'm excited. Except for tonight is "Shit on your neighbor" Night. All those snacks and goodies. I hope I have strength. Getting ready to go to my monthly support group meeting at the Doc's office, I'm sitting here ready my e-mails and drinking my hot cocoa. One of the e-mails I opened was from my WW instructor informing me in a very beautiful letter, I mean very beautiful, heartwarming, extremely sad letter that her Mother passed away early this morning. The letter caught my breath and I am still teary eyed over it. I'm very sad at her passing but this letter really touched me. Irene, I am so anxious to follow you on your new journey and realized that there is no reason you can't post here. Isn't this the "Homeless" site? You have a home now and we welcome every bit of info you want to share with us. Who knows, maybe something that you are going thru will inspire one of us or someone that is lurking. I for one hope you hang here. Kat, that is a very sad story. Alcohol is such a destroyer of everything. Feelings, Family, Looks, Hopes, Dreams, Faith and all kinds of other things. I have a cousin who looked like she just stepped off a Vogue magazine who started drinking at an early age. It is horrible what the vodka has done to not only her self-esteem but to her Family and her beautiful looks. It's truly sad each month when we see her at breakfast, knowing that each time she gets up and swaggers to the bathroom that she is going in to take a hit off the bottle. I fear the her funeral is not to far down the road. Her liver is shot and they won't do a transplant in her condition. Such a terrible diesease. Kelly, Thanks for the compliment. It has been a struggle even with the band. However, without the band I would not be as succesful. I love my band and how we have gotten along. I fight with it daily but it's a good thing. Hopefully you and I will be off all of our diabete meds before long. I know that I fieel so much better just being off the blood pressure meds. I'm off to go dry my hair and get to my meeting. I'll see ya all soon.

Oh Tracy, The waiting game, it sucks. I hate that you have to go thru that. Hopefully it will pass fast and all will work out for you guys. 24 hours---you gonna sleep or clean or play??????

Oh Kat, that was so nice to hear. I bet she needed that also. Home from work, a 2 shifter. Nothing worse than sitting at work for 3 hours with no customers. Sheeeesh. So now I'm home, feet up and BIL is going to make dinner. All's right with the world now.

Michelle, take good care of yourself. Glad to hear that hubby got home safe. I bet it was great to see him. Irene, That is terrible that you've didn't have real good luck with the band. I've heard of others that have had problems also and I just can't imagine it. I've never had any problems except the one were you say one day the band is wide open and the next day it's tight. That happens to me and I just need to remember to not let my head allow me to over stuff myself. I have on several occasions lost around 100 pounds but as usual I gained it back and more. The band has been my lifesaver. I am off my blood pressure meds and a few of my diabetes meds. I'm healthier and happier. I get out more and move more. I hear alot of people say they want this surgery or that they have had the surgery and just know they never have to diet again. Well, my Doc and his support group people have always from the very start have made sure that we understand that the band is just a tool. How we use that tool is up to us. If we choose to abuse it than we will not loose the weight. That's when I hear people complain about the band. 9 times out of 10 it's not the band but the fact that people do abuse it. How sad that they weren't mentally prepared for it. I'm sorry that you have had problems and I don't blame you one bit for moving on. I myself have thought several times about the RNY but due to a couple of people I know that have had it, it is not an option for me. I wish you all the luck in the world and will root for you. Please keep us posted and and I also hope that you stay with us. Everyone have a great day and I'll see you sometime. I have to work a double shift and in between those shifts I have to get to the grocery store.

Irene, you said that the band did not work for you. Did you not lose any weight with it? Or did you just lose what the average was for people, they say you lose like a certain percentage of your weight. One of the things that I wished I had done was to have lost more weight before I had the surgery and than let the band do the rest of it. I did lose a lot before I went into this and now I'm at a total of 190 down. That's more that what the average person looses and all the Doc's are really happy. However I still have about 75-100 more pounds to go. I will now have to use my own willpower along with the band to do this. So I guess my question is, Are you using the band correctly? Are you doing all that you can to help your band to help you lose weight. Have you tried doing diets like WW or Jenny Craig or Atkins or any diet plan? I know that I had a lot of success with WW, unfortunately I hit a plataeu and have had a really slow weight loss in the last year. I'm just curious to see if you have really done all that you can with the band.

Good Rainy Morning to you all. Jenn, I bet that was a good concert. I have several of his songs on my MP3 that I use in my walking. I also have a few Sugarland songs on also. Glad you had a great time. Tracy, That's a lot to handle right at Christmas. But hopefully you guys will be able to figure out how to do it. In the long run it's what needs to be done. You know I will keeping you guys in my prayers. Just keep your chin up and your mouth shut, to food I mean. Remember in the stress times t take a walk and not shove the food in. NO ice cream either. Michelle. I started bleeding huge clots. I know, TMI. So after the 3rd time I finally went to the Doc. After haing a DNC to do a biopsy, I had the very beginning stage of cancer. Thank God I didn't wait any longer. They took me in immediately for surgery and removed everything. I have nothing left, they didn't want to have to do another surgery. Of course at the weight I was at the time, I can't blame them. They wanted to make sure that I didn't have a recurrence and I was in my late 30's anyways. No kids for me. I tell everyone that the surgery was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. No monthly, no clean ups, no miss haps, no mess. I love it. They did have to put me on Premarin for about 4 months afterwards, my hormones or lack of them was all out of wack and I became a blubbering idiot. At the drop of a hat I was crying for no reason. All better now. Like I said, at that weight I can't blame the Doc. I still cringe at the thought that there were people that had to lift me and turn me. I hate knowing that. I also had to give thought to if I ever fell or became sick, that there was paramedics that were going to have to risk their health just to help me. The more I thought about situations like this the more I gave thought to having the Band done. Best desicion I have ever made, besides marrying my hubby. I still am at a risk of hurting someone if they had to help, but I ma still working on that. Hopefully within the next 2 years I will be at a very reasonable weight for me. A very healthy weight. Jane, are you rowing that boat yet? It's been raining all night and most of the morning here. Off to go get my housework done and than get ready for work. I'll chat at ya later.

Home from our hospital shift, it was a really slow night. That's good but makes it a little long for us. Tracy, so glad you got good news, now I keep my fingers crossed that you can do the finacial part of it. You guys are due for a break. Michelle, how scary about the wreck. We live about a mile fro the HS and all of them come right by this way. Every now and than we hear the fire trucks coming down and the road and just know that there's been a fender bender. I worry about them but also remember what it was like when I was that age, fearless. I hope Jenn is having a good time at the concert tonight.

Irene said, "I need to stop being a fraud and do the right thing." I keep telling myself this everyday. What is wrong with us? Thank You for posting. I thought I was the only one with these feelings. I LOVE to exercise. I mean "LOVE" to do it. I would walk from here to New York and back if my feet would let me. I get such a rush from it and have days were I crave it real bad. I don't know if that is weird or not but I also use it as my therapy session. Now, on the other hand, I LOVE to be lazy also. I have days were I can just be in my chair all day long. NOt to often because that walking feeling will bug me and I have to get up and go. I got off work this morning and found out that the brand new Target opened up yesterday. I loved it. There were only about 10 people in the whole store. I'm telling you, it would have been perfect if I had kids and needed to do X-mas shopping. They had everything you could imagine WII's, Guitar Hero and all kinds of stuff. I walked the whole store. It was fun, not running into people and having to dodge stuff. I loved it.

Morning Girls. I went ahead and got on my scale this morning and I'm down 4 pounds. OMG. That felt wonderful. I'll still wait till my Doc appointment on the 26th. to post but my scale is very close to his. I'm so excited. Cari, once you get out of the habit of exercising it is so hard to get back going. You just need to dig down deep and find that desire and gumption. You'll get it. Very cool here this morning, 39 degrees. I love it. My favorite weather to walk in. I'll check in soon.

Jenn, awesome pictures. Thank you for posting them. You need to start looking at new pics of you, you will find out that you aren't fat. Kelly, Thanks for the name info. What a nice story. I'm home from work and soaking my foot and watching DWTS. I did a lot of cleaning tonight at work. In the morning I'll finish it up when I mop the floors. The women crack up and always ask me to come to their houses. I tell them I don't even clean that much at my house. lol. Big dicussion at work about the H1N1 vaccine and most are not going to get it or get it for their children. See ya in the morning.

Irene, I was in Sac. a long time ago. I was in HS at the time and we were on a school trip. I lived in the San Fernando Valley for about 16 years. I don't remember the name of the restaurant but we had a good time and enjoyed it. I'm sure a lot of things have changed since I have been there. Cindy, the only time I ever saw a flash in my car was followed by a big boom. That's weird. Wonder what it could have been. Sitting here eating my salad and than I will start to get myself ready to go to work. It's a Winnie the Pooh kind of day here and I sure would love to stay home. Oh well, some one has to bring the bacon home. See ya all tonight.

I'm a high risk person and I don't plan on getting the H1N1 vaccine. I did however get the flu shot and that was only because it was free and I happen to be there when they were giving it out. I haven't had one in over 5 years and I got sick with that one. So far so good with this one. And I also work at the Hospital just a few feet outside of the OR, and I'm still not going to get the vaccine.

Jane stuck in a inner tube, that's a picture I would like to see. I agree with Kat, Jane that is one reason I like to meet you in Columbia. I absolutely enjoy your personality, your insight on things, your outlook, your caring and the way your face lights up when talking about the people that mean the most to you. Your laughter is precious and contagious. That's how I define you. My younger sister's best friend is 5'4 and my sister is 6'2. Just like us, we don't let outer appearance stop us from being friends. It's what inside that counts, and I am the richest person in the world because I have you in it. Thanks for being my friend.

Tracy, you wanna go with me to meet Jane Oct. 25th?

Cindy, so glad to hear from you and to know you are getting a little better. I know what you are talking about with the drowning thing. When I had pnuemonia years ago, I experienced the same thing. Freaky feeling. Sitting here watching DWTS when hubby came out and started bugging me about soaking my foot. So I went and filled the plastic tub and had him carry it into the computer room so I could sit and watch football with him. Needless to say I bugged the crap out of him while he was watching his show. LOL. I mean LOL,LOL,LOL. Jane, I'm gonna start working on not living my life by what I weigh. It is so hard to do though, everywhere you look there are reminders. Looking in a mirror or in a cupboard, watching TV or just watching kids play. It's all a reminder that I don't belong in this world. Somehow I'm going to have to change that and make this world fit for me. I'll work on it. Hope all of you have a wonderful day.

Home for a little while. I have to take my sis to a Doc appointment this evening. 5:50, wow. Anyway. I went to take a shower this morning and took the band aid off my toe. There was dried blood everywhere. So after the shower I called the Doc's office and the nurse said he didn't want to see me, that I would have to go see the Podiatrist. The one who did my surgery a few years ago. So I called there and the nurse told me that he wouldn't want to see me unless there was an infection. I told her there wasn't and that I was keeping it really clean, using peroxide and neosporin. She said not to use the peroxide anymore. That I was to get Betadine at the store and use that instead. Put a few drops in a pan of water and soak my foot for awhile. So I told her that the toe on my other foot was doing the same thing but that the nail was still on but it had the fungus under it. She said that I needed to come in and have the nail removed. Oh no, ouch. She said they would deaden it first. Like that makes me feel better. So next monday I have a date with the Podiatrist to have that taken care of and to have my feet looked at. She goes, "You know you haven't been in since 05". Ummm, didn't know I had to see him on a regular basis. She said yes I was and that he was to cut my nails. I told her I hate the way he does it. I had even told him that one time. He's awful, like taking a chainsaw to my toes. LOL. I really like this Doc. He has such a good sense of humor, just not good at pedicures. Do you want me to post pics?????? Of the toe I mean. Kat, I so miss my MIL. She was such a sweet lady. I do understand what you are saying, about them getting older and a little more difficult. Poor things. You're right to always try to remember them like they used to be. They can't help what is happening to their minds. Tracy, The more I hear from you the more sadder I get. I just wish there was something I could do to make it all go away. What a mess. I will just keep sending you well wishes and keep you in my prayers. Sacramento. Last time I was there, Jerry Brown was the Gov. He was such a cutie. I think he was dating Linda Ronstadt at the time. I wish I knew the name of the restaurant we went to. It was a hoot, we had a good time. I'll check in later this evening after I get done sis.

Look at me, not at work this morning. One of the other ladies wanted to trade with me. So I will be working Friday morning instead. But I'm up anyways, hubby wants me to go to the gym with him. My day off and I have to go workout. I still have to go into work though. The lady wanted to know if I would come in around 11am and close the store for her. So I actually work 1 1/2 hours. lol. My sister has a Doc appointment this evening. She wanted me to take her, so I will be missing my bible study class. She wants me to go because she always forgets to ask the Doc things and knows I will remember. Someone yesterday told me that my weight doesn't define who I am. ????? I know they are right, but that is who I am. This is what I have been all my life. Having been overweight since childhood, I know no other way. It's amazing how no matter where I go I always manage to get people to talk about dieting. Even when I have no clue as to who they are. People sitting at the next table. People standing in line chatting with their friend. How do I get away from it. How do I not let weight and dieting define my life when it is such a huge part of my life? Busy day today, so I will check in when I can. Michelle, is your husband headed to the fires in the San Gabriel Mntns? They have been showing it on the new here. I will keep all of them in my prayers. Jenn, have a good walk. Kat, I had the sweetest MIL anyone could ever have, it's hard for me to understand that anyone could have problems with their MIL. But it sounds like you are one of those people. You'd think that after all the years that you and Rick have been married that his family would be more accepting and caring towards you. I cna't imagine anyone not totalling falling in love with you. I have and I have never met you in person. Speaking of meeting someone, Janie and I will be meeting each other Oct. 25th. I just love doing that with her. I absolutely adore her and think she is one of the sweetest persons I have met in a long time. Sure wish you where going to be there also. Everyone have a great day.