mdrai

Wow, Kat, that sounds so cool!

Good Monday Afternoon, Violets~~ First off, (((PAM)))... I am so sorry to read of your Dad's cancer. I hope that you will be able to spend time with him and make a few more memories together. Know my good thoughts and prayers are with you. Sounds like everyone had a good weekend and is doing well (ish)... the bands seems to be doing their jobs w/you all -- if not with WHAT you eat, then definitely HOW MUCH... and that is something right there!!! Today is my FIRST LIQUID DAY... So if you hear sloshing as you're typing... it's just me! If I'm not online, then I must be in the bathroom! 14 more days to go before surgery... I started a day early after my "farewell" to food day yesterday... now my evil brain is whispering in my ear that I don't really have to start on liquids 'til tomorrow so that the 1/2 pizza in the 'frig is fair game... but IT IS NOT!!! I'll go suck on a sugar free popsicle or something... if I can't do this one day at a time, then I shouldn't be banded!!!

Vegas, Orlando, or San Diego, definitely!

Good Friday afternoon, Violets~~ Glad to read that everyone is doing well, hanging in... (& has clothing hanging off!)... fantastic. It really sounds like you're all getting the "hang" of it! ba ha ha... Today has actually been just a regular day... the first one in a l-o-n-g time it seems... I am extraordinarily tired, however, so think I will go indulge in a quick 1-hr nap before the kiddos arrive home from school. I'm actually looking forward to tonight... all 3 members of my family will be out doing their own things... and I will get to be ALL ALONE w/just me, myself, & I... I bought a couple magazines & a new box of sugar-free popsicles so I'm all set to snuggle down for a quiet night! Have a great weekend, everyone!

Your stories touch my heart. Anyone who thinks that this whole process is easy or simply about eating less food is crazy! We're all tapping in to lifelong issues/thinking/relationships/behaviors that are all in flux and we are learning & changing & growing on every level imaginable. Wow. We're all doing great work and while a lot of it is hard, the rewards will be so worth it. Wow again. ~~~ Me. (Hey, that's what it's all about, right? ) This has been the strangest week. First the whole esophagus thing + other assorted odd things here & there thrown in for good measure (daily crap, but different daily crap). Usually I'm home a lot, but I've been gone all day every day this week. So last night I notice that my big boy cat, Mo, is acting oddly, not eating/pooping... he'd been constipated back in Jan & I figured that was it again... l-o-n-g story short... he had a urinary tract blockage and had an overfull bladder full of blood, basically... the mobile vet came & did all the emergency stuff to him, then I had to take him down to the pet hospital for them to take care of him longer-term (weekend)... he was REALLY sick & actually if I'd hadn't noticed him last night & had to go out again today, he'd have probably been dead by the time I got home! I feel so badly that I didn't notice sooner & that I had to leave him & he's scared & sick & hurt... I was bawling my eyes out when I had to leave him at the hospital... Of course, I called my dh who just does not get emotional things at all (so why do I bother to call him... I think because I hope that one time I'll be upset & call him & he'll actually respond properly! But no...) and so is all short & to the point & "what do you want me to do about it?" and all I really want is for him to acknowledge that I do my best taking care of the humans & pets in our lives and that I'm upset ("it's ok, sweetie, you did your best, he's lucky you pay attention to him, thank you..." -- is that so much to ask???) Instead I'm bothering him at work and can't I just handle it?? That's why I had my girlfriend take me yesterday, as I didn't want to bother him. So then I wonder -- if I have to do EVERYTHING myself and be strong and really rely on just myself for everything -- why be married?? Is it purely money? If so, that's sad. But sometimes (like now) that's what I think it is. Money & the kids. Sigh. Wow... I've got so much emotion churned up this week... I'm a wreck. I feel like I've been through the wringer. Even if no one reads all this, it feels good to type it out... I hope that's it for this week's drama and tomorrow will dawn a new, fresh, "normal" day... I'm not used to all this... usually my life is pretty day in/day out in a good way...

I had my pre-op appointment on Tues and that was the first time I heard of the injections as well. I haven't filled the prescription yet, but am not looking forward to this... I am not a needle girl... yeesh! I'm going to try to get the L one so I don't have to do it so frequently (as if 2x/day for 14 days isn't a lot!).

Now that I'm back on track for the band, a few questions based on my surgical pre-op yesterday... Did anyone else have this done as an outpatient? That's how mine will be done. Oh, and he doesn't do a barium swallow either... said he used to do them but found they're not necessary??? Did anyone else have to give themselves Lovenox or Heparin injections 2x/day for 2 weeks after the procedure? (This came as a BIG surprise to me, as I have never read of ANYONE mentioning this before... and I am SO NOT a fan of needles! Yikes!) I think those are the only things I was unsure/unaware of... he seemed impressed w/all my other knowledge, and I told him I had a great support team online who're one month ahead of me!

I'm baaaaaaaaaaack... The ups & downs & ups & downs & ups of this journey is making me carsick! Endoscopy went fine. The surgeon said he saw NO evidence of the Barrett's thing, NO hietal hernia, and NO gastroenteritis, which the previous one all showed. He obviously still has to send the biopsy's out to the lab, but he is very confident that I'll be back there @ the surgery center in 3 weeks for my band. Can I get a (cautiously optimistic) YEE-HA??? My nerves are a frazzled wreck! I wish I didn't get so emotional whenever I hit a bump in the road, but I do... thank you all for being here & lifting me up when I needed it. xoxoxoxo

Thank you, Lunasa... your kind words are making me cry... I wish I could be as kind & caring w/myself as you are to me... thank you...

Bleh. I wouldn't mix any of the powders w/just water. I got the unjury samples and have mixed them with 60-cal no sugar pudding (when you mix it it becomes runny like pudding soup, but still tasty) and in a smoothie... couldn't tell at all. For the liquid stage, I'd suggest the Isopure drinks w/40 g protein in a bottle... the only one I've tried so far is the orange, and it was pretty good... a bit of an aftertaste, but ok. I've also tried the Micellar milk w/low-carb chai tea and that was good... a chai-tea latte w/lots of protein. The bariatriceating.com site has a variety pack w/recipes, you could check that out. It's a very personal thing, the whole protein powder/drink thing... good luck figuring out what works for you!

Thank you all so much for your positive replies... of course you are all correct... I need to stay positive and be thankful that this has come to light so I may address it... but it is difficult for me at this moment to think that way... which is why I am blessed to have you to remind me! I just feel soooo bad (badly?) right now.... completely down & out... I'm so close to my dream of being normal... I feel like I'm being taunted... I just don't know if I have it in me to postpone or go through all the hoops again in 6 months to a year... "Poor, poor pitiful me..."...I really am just a miserable mess. The band truly is the answer to my prayers and I absolutely cannot do bypass... no way, no how... so what... it'll be back to diet & exercise, which works for about a week or so before I'm off on a binge... dieting is what got me here... argh! I am so sorry, Violets, for being such a downer... thank you for letting me be wholly & truly who I am at this moment and not having to pretend w/you as I do the rest of the world. I swear I'm giving myself only tonight to wallow in all this self-pity and then it's back to dealing w/whatever may come my way w/my head up in true Violet fashion. Keep sending out those powerful Violet supervibes my way, please... I need 'em! ((hugs))

Bad News, Violets... Today was my pre-op appointment w/the surgeon... they told me it'd be an hour... well, 3 hours later... I was driving home crying & mad. The story: When I had my endoscopy (which I had on 3/6 -- 2 frickin' months ago!), they took some biopsies of my stomach & esophagus lining. I never heard anything from the endoscopy center, my pcp, or the surgeon's office about the results, so I figured all was well & forgot about it. Fast-forward to today, and the surgeon notices that the pathology report says that I have "Barrits Esophagus" (sp?), which basically is when reflux has caused stomach cells to grow up out of the stomach on the esophagus. It is a "pre-cancer" marker, meaning I would be at increased risk of developing esophageal cancer in my lifetime. The treatment is simply to take prilosec or some other reflux medicine, and it may just go away in time. Now there was much confusion as to why the path. report said one thing and the procedure report said another, so there was a lot of back-and-forth... ultimately, the end result is that I am going tomorrow morning for another endoscopy, performed by my surgeon, and we'll have results in a week. If it comes back that I do indeed have this (even after taking the reflux meds for the past 2 months), then I cannot have the surgery. So now my head is swimming w/the "cancer" word, the fact that no one told me for 2 months that anything was abnormal, and, of course, the fact that this could end my last hope for meaningful, long-term weight loss. Here are basically my whines right now: Why can't things ever go smoothly for me?? Why is everything so !@#$% difficult?? Why is this such a roller coaster?: First I was denied, then I was approved, now I've got this... ARGH! I will be a fat pig forever! I can't even be fat right! ............. The one good thing was that while I was sitting there waiting and waiting, I imagined that all my Violet friends were there with me, sending me good thoughts and y'know, it actually worked! Weird, I know, but true... so thank you... I am just so mad & sad & MAD! I feel exactly like I did when I was denied... like it's some cosmic joke or something... "Hey, watch this! Let's dangle some hope in front of her then jerk it away! Ha! Ok, let's do it again!"..... ok... I've got to go actually do some of the stuff that didn't get done today as I was in limbo... will check back tomorrow... thanks again...

Hi all~~ I'm on jury duty this week... went in today & after reading a book I brought all morning, I got to go eat lunch outside, then got to go up to a courtroom to go through the jury selection process for a civil trial that they expected to last 2 weeks (!)... but then partway through the judge asking us all her questions ("Have you heard anything about this matter before today?" "Do you know any of the parties involved?" etc.), she called all the attorneys up to the bench, got agitated w/them, and then told all of us that there was a problem and for us to all go back down to the jury room, where we were dismissed for the day. Odd. So basically I made $20 to read... ok. I don't have to go in tomorrow, but I have to call tomorrow to see if I need to go back on Weds. Our legal system at work! Tomorrow is appointment day w/my surgeon! Which means only 3 more weeks 'til surgery. Since Friday I have been reminded why I have to get the band. For about 10 days I was the perfect dieter... and I lost 8 lbs to show for it!... but then Friday and each day since I've "blown it" in some way... I haven't had any major pig out fests, which is good, but I ate a sandwich one day, a cookie another, etc... so now I am worried about tomorrow, but hey, it is what it is... but the good thing about this is that I know that I was really giving the dieting my all but eventually the hunger won out (as it always does) and then it's a slippery slope back to unaware eating. I *need* this band to keep me feeling full longer and to enable to me eat less and more quality food and remove the ability to overindulge... physically remove the possibility... that's what I need. I've been feeling a bit scared about the surgical reality of the band... did you read the post about the gal who died from the surgery after her stomach was accidently sliced? I've been questioning it... but now I know it's this or just be fat forever, and that's really not what I want. I caught a glimpse of myself unawares today in a big window at the courthouse when I was walking back in after lunch... yowza... now how I see myself at ALL... what a slap in the reality! Sorry for going on & on... just the thoughts bouncing around in my head like a pinball machine... thanks for listening.

Hi Violets!~~ This thread just zips right along, doesn't it?? Wow. Had pages &pages to catch up on after being away for only 1.5 days! oh my! The yard sale was ok... only 4 hours & made a couple hundred... into the can it's gone! I still have a lot of boys' clothes, tho... does anyone on here need any? They're mostly shirts/shorts/jeans sizes youth M through adult S, jeans/pants 10 - 14. I'll mail 'em out if anyone thinks they'd like them... they're all in good condition, would be great "play" or casual clothes. Went out to dinner last night w/dd & some long-lost friends... Italian... well, will spare you the details... but only 2 days 'til I see the surgeon so these will be really extreme liquid days... I hope to see at least a little loss on Tuesday's weigh-in. CONGRATS on ONEDERLAND, TERRI!! Woo Hoo! Here ya' go girl... you earned 'em! ~~ :Banane51: :Banane52: :Banane31: :success1: :not_ripe: :bananajump: :woot: :Banane41: :bananalama: :Banane30: :woot: :rofl: :Banane08: I did not know there were so many bananas! :eek: Pam -- yay on the salsa! Do you share your recipes?? Jenn -- Peaceful wishes for you as you deal w/your RL issues... Teach -- Glad the golf ball missed you at church! Sara -- Yay on the 3 miles... I'd have caught the train back, too! lunasa -- I, too, am copying your posts into another file to save, savor, and meditate on. You have such a wonderful way with words and insights... you are bringing out the best in me... thank you! Tracy -- Good job w/the buffet... I cannot do buffets... there's just TOO MUCH and I'm always trying to "get my money's worth"... but in the end, it's just not worth it! Everyone -- keep up the good work of self-discovery and band acceptance! Hugs to everyone! I have to go in for JURY DUTY tomorrow morning... bleh! This is the first time I've ever had to go (I've been called before, but didn't have to report)... I want to do my civic duty, but I also hope I don't get picked so I can wrap it all up tomorrow... guess it's just one more of life's little adventures! Miss me while I"m gone... will check back asap. Ta ta!

That's our Tracy... out and about spreadin' the gospel of the band to all those who will come near and listen! Good job! And great NSV's... I really think that's what it's all about... the scale be d'mned!... it's new habits/behaviors/living! (ha ha... I typed "new hobbits" ha ha!) I am off 'til Sunday... am lugging a "carload of sh*t" (as dh puts it) down to my Mom's house for her neighborhood's annual yard sale all day tomorrow. I am *not* a yard-saler at all... don't shop them & have never held one... so what to take & how to price it all is a bit foreign to me... but I've just got to get rid of some of this stuff... and some of it is nice... kids' clothes & outgrown toys, etc... so we'll see how it goes. And dd is going to have a lemonade/cookie stand, too. We've decided that any/all $$ raised will go into our "Walt Disney World" vacation can (yes, literally it is a WDW Holiday Coffee can!) (empty, duh) for a future trip... maybe I should start a "Shrinkin' Violets Cruise" can??? Have a super weekend everyone!!

A cruise! Now THERE'S an idea! hmmmmmmmmm <wheels begin turning> I guess a "cottage cheese tasting contest" wouldn't really be a crowd pleaser, huh. <shrug>

<p>Good Friday Morning, all my shrinkin' friends!</p> <p> </p> <p>Jenn -- Great Starbucks news! Last night the barista told me that in a month or so they'll be getting Sugar Free Caramel! <img src="http://www.LapBandTalk.com/images/smilies/happy.gif" border="0" alt="" title="" smilieid="60" class="inlineimg" /> I loooooove anything caramel!</p> <p> </p> <p>Pam -- Congratulations on your new (third!) job! You go girl! Can we all take your course online??</p> <p> </p> <p>Lunasa -- Fantastic info as always. I love the idea of a meet. It's funny that you & Sara envision coming here to the US... when I think about it, I'm the one hopping the pond for an international holiday! About 4 years or more now, I organized a "meet" for folks who posted on lowcarbfriends.com... we had a bbq (low carb, natch) at a park in my town... I live on the East Coast in Maryland, and folks came from as far away as New England, Ohio, Virginia, and Pennsylvania! Those who drove farthest made a weekend out of it. It was so great to put faces w/names, altho it was hard to call folks by their RL names & not their screen names... we had to put both on the nametags! My hubby thought I was a complete nut, throwing a bbq for "people you don't know"... but he didn't understand that I DID know them... better than some of my RL friends actually. So when I say that I'm up for a meet, I mean that I AM up for a meet! <img src="http://www.LapBandTalk.com/images/smilies/happy.gif" border="0" alt="" title="" smilieid="60" class="inlineimg" /></p>

Thank you, Tracy, for the step-by-step guide to adding pictures. I copied it & pasted it into a Word doc (told you I'm a Word wiz!) so that when I finally take some pics I'll be able to find them. THANKS! A l-o-n-g day... my dinner was actually a tall, nonfat starbucks drink... duh... but better than the California Tortilla next to SBs or the 5 Guys Hamburgers 3 doors down! I feel like I barely ate today... and I'm not even banded yet! Yikes! I'm not sure how I can actually, physically do LESS food! :fish: Tomorrow is another day. G'night!

Eh... not too sure about this "new look" for the board... Who IS that gal up on top peakiing over the edge to see what we're gabbin' about?? And I prefered the ads to the Right... guess I'll get used to it... sigh... Tracy!~~ Great pics! You just KNOW that we all wish you'd do that for US, right?? <wink, wink, nudge, nudge!> I wish I was computer literate... I can send e-mail and type in Word... woo hoo. Lunasa~~ Another FANTASTIC post! I am so grateful to have you with me on this journey! My Oscar... sadly I could probably be nominated in many categories... "Most horrible person to herself" (you would not believe the way I talk to myself!)... "Biggest faker of happiness" (always, always a smile)... "Helper to the World" (any/everyone who knows me knows where to go if they need any help at all -- minor or major -- it doesn't matter... that's how come I've had my friend's 2 kids staying w/us since Tuesday... people don't even need to ASK me -- if I hear that you're in a bind, I offer myself up to you! I swear some folks KNOW that about me, and use it against me... no one to blame but myself...)... "Least self-confidence in an very seemingly confident person"... I'm going to stop now... this is just too easy! Lots of head work to do, obviously... Laura~~ great house pics -- what an exciting time for you! Sara~~ Great job on the exercise so far this month! Kity~~ "rabbit turds covered in chocolate"... mmmmmmmmmmmmmm Everyone... have a great day!

Lunasa -- AMAZING POST-S!! And THAT is EXACTLY the level of self-discovery that I feel I need to work to in tandem with the band. I truly feel like I have been given the opportunity for a brand new life -- not just a thin(ner) one, but one that incorporates mind/body/spirit. Wow. Thank you for prompting some deep self-exploration for me! Laura -- Sex... what is this strange word of which you speak??? I lost my libido a couple YEARS ago... it must've fallen out of my purse when I wasn't looking! I know that my issues stem 100% from how I look & feel and am cautiously optimistic that problems in that area may improve post-band. I honestly think that's the ONLY reason that dh is even a little bit supportive of this whole thing... men! OK... back to work...

Careful there Tracy... don't want another "squirting" incident! :target:

OMG, Tracy! That sounds awful... a hard way to learn a lesson... but you know we'll all probably end up with a story like that... a little wake-up call from, what did you call it, "Little Billy Bad Ass Band"??? ROFLMAO! I hope you're feeling better this morning! Maybe putting some unflavored protein powder in the soup would give it more "staying" power?? <shrug> Whoever wrote about the "reverse anorexia" (sorry, the viewer thingy doesn't go back that far and I have too little time to go back)... I have ALWAYS felt that, but never knew that it was an actual medical term or condition! WOW! I've been aware of it for YEARS... that the me I see in the mirror does not reflect reality... that I'm WAAAAY bigger than I think. Wow. Lots of extra RL BS going on right now (we ALL have that, I know) led me to eating 2 slices of pizza last night & some (4 or 5) hot wings. Wow. Look at that sentence. Where is my responsibility, control? This is exactly the type of situation that I need to learn to deal with -- and fast! -- before being banded. What if I had yesterday's day on July 1 instead of May 1... I'll be banded, so then what? Scarfing down all that won't be an option... it just physically won't. So what will I do instead? How will I "let the stress out" or calm myself down (because honestly, the act of "attacking" a big 'ol pizza pie is great for that... I start out w/big, fast bites, bit chews, lots of jaw work... then I start slowing down... feeling the anesthetic effects of the carbs as they kick in... get slower... then stop and aaaaahhhhh... all better) post-band? What will get me to that place of "Ok, I feel better now, I can keep on going/dealing w/life... c'mon, give me something to tackle! These are the kinds of behaviors/thoughts/routines that have gotten me here, and these are the things I am trying to work through NOW, so I'll have some strategies up my sleeve for when this hits. And it will! Truly, sometimes I think that the first time I'm in this situation post-band, I imagine myself just curled up on the floor crying in frustration! ... and maybe that's ok! (Just not sure if it's frustration w/the situation or w/not being able to solve it w/pizza!) Sorry to go on... just trying to work out some thoughts here. And I know I've touched on this topic in the past... and received some good suggestions... the cleaning/organizing, or going on a walk, etc... which ARE good... but in the "it's dinner and I've got to eat and I'm dealing with ___ (add your own crap here)"... it's still a challenge. What are you gals who are post-band doing when you find yourself in this type of situation? But, I'm right on track today... 6 days 'til I meet w/my surgeon. Yay. Focus!

Hi Laura -- You are so young still... you have time to learn to cook well & healthfully! What fun! It really can be a joy to cook tasty, nutritious meals... and it's definitely cheaper than eating out! The time issue can be remedied in a couple ways... cook a bunch over a weekend & freeze for future use (just pull out what you want in the a.m., stick it on the counter to thaw, and re-heat in 30-mins or less!)... go to the library & check out one of Rachel Ray's "30-minute meals" books... or see if they have one of those "prep kitchens" in your area, like Let's Dish! or My Girlfriend's Kitchen, Super Suppers, Dream Dinners (there are lots out there) -- I LOVE LD!... you go and you put together your meals and then take them home & freeze them (uncooked), then when you want them, you just pull 'em out, defrost, and cook (usually in under 30 mins). The food there is REAL, and nutritious (all the info is on their sites + WW points)... lots of variety each month -- American, Italian, Mexican, Mediterranean, Oriental...mmmmmmmmmm. The menus change each month. There's no excuse for not eating healthfully... for both yourself & dbf. You guys are so lucky to be just starting out... you have the ability to create healthy living choices now before you're old farts like me & dh & stuck in our ruts. I envy you the freedom of being 23! "If I knew then what I know now..." OMG, I sound like a decrepit 100 year old! Ack! But it's true...

((Christy)) -- Hang in there, friend. You are going through so much right now... healing from the band, adjusting to banded life, dealing w/"feminine" issues & perhaps the loss of any future little "home schoolers"... and yet you're always so positive and helpful to others. What a wonderful heart you have. I send you warm wishes and strength during this challenging time. Lunasa... Your post & the others before it on "car eating" and other sneaky (who were we fooling?) eating really hit a chord for me. I see myself in these posts. Wow. It helps to know I'm not alone, but also makes me sad that we all have to go through this. We are learning and becoming stronger every day! My good news for the day! After my first week on my pre-pre-op plan, I've lost 8 lbs! Yay! :girl_hug: I finally updated my ticker, too! Tuesdays will be my official weigh-in days... which I think will help w/the weekends, as I won't want to mess them up too badly w/Tuesday coming up quickly after them. Oh, the mind games that I play! Hey, whatever works! One more week on this plan & I see the surgeon next Tues... that's my sole motivation at this moment in time... follow the plan & lose as much as possible before meeting w/him! Have a great day, everyone!

Hi all... wow, I'm off the 'puter for 2 days and have pages & pages to catch up on! Everyone sounds good! It's all a bit of a blur as I just speed-read the last 5 pages! lol! Suggestion for new thread title: Shrinking Violets May 2007 -- cuz we'll know it's us by the name + it'll be our thread for May... then in June it'll be Shrinking Violets June 2007, etc. & so forth. Yes? Tomorrow is my 1-week pre-pre-op diet weigh-in day! 1 week of serious lc down, 1 to go! Then it's 1 more (sort of)... then 2 liquid... then the Band! So 1 down, 4 to go. Then I"ll be able to talk about my stitches popping & BMs, etc... yippee!