I realize that questions and comments regarding the subject of weight, food intake, and weight loss in general have always been a touchy subject for me. The fact that I have had this procedure did not in and of itself change that fact about me. What is changing slowly but surely is how I am feeling about myself and in general and my weight and health. So, while unsoliciated and advice and questions regarding my lapband or food intake is still somewhat of a sensitive subject for me, I now filter and respond to it in a different manner. How I use to respond and or felt really depended on the person asking and/or the way they asked or even the way I was feeling about myself that moment; I never said a word to that person but internalized it or complained to everyone but them. Now, I don't internalize it or take it personal (even if was meant to be personal). I am working on not allowing how someone thinks or perceives me to affect how I think or perceive myself. So when, I get unsoliciated comments, advice, questions, and I have a negative feeling about it, I first stop and ask myself why I am feeling this way. Secondly, I address that person accordingly and respectfully. If I don't feel the need to explain what is on my plate or why, I don't (99% of the time I don't; I have been know to say things along the lines of "thanks for your concern about _________ but none is needed I am fine".). If I feel like someone is being rude, etc. I tell them that I feel their comment was rude, etc. or ask them directly what is their concern, etc. I usually can figure out the true intent and if I can't there is certainly no question about about mine.
Bottom line, from my own experience, most people treat you the way you allow them to treat you and I have learned that I have some responsibility in how I allow people to speak and/or treat me.When someone says or does something that is upsetting, annoying or offensive to you, you should tell them and/or address it, otherwises they may not ever know. Don't ever assume someone should know or understand how you feel. Sometimes people are trying to be helpful and not hurtful or just curious and asking a question and other times not. Either way, if you don't speak up for yourself and they continue to do it, you should take part of the responsibility for them continuing to say or do something that they may have no clue is offensive to you. If you tell them and they continue to do it, the responsibility is all theirs.