Keluliana

Good luck! I'll be right behind you on Tuesday!

Faith: thank you for the eloquent defense of the forum. You are gifted both in language and diplomacy!

It is so comforting and touching to read the different experiences of everyone who has gone through the same things. Thanks everyone for posting your personal stories - I've enjoyed reading them all and hope to see more soon!

Yes, I missed the first half, though. Thanks for posting - now I know at least what I missed. I hope they replay it! And thanks for the link.

Wow, great to see such responses - thank you for posting! I realized I didn't actually post my 'last straw,' (though I don't know that it could follow the ones posted now ). First, I have a life of being fat, trying diets, paying for gyms and schemes behind me. Then I read some chick lit book with a fat heroine (a guilty pleasure) who eventually started working with a personal trainer and got in shape. I was so inspired, or perhaps, am so impressionable, that I decided that would be the answer: working one on one with someone to keep me accountable and to support me and watch every step of the way - and to get healthier, not just lose weight. And it was enough of a financial burden that I figured I wouldn't let myself waste it by not giving 100% effort. At first I was great - one week I even worked out 5 times! I had my RMR tested and got hooked up to machines wearing a mask that measured my oxygen intake and output. I even spent a small fortune on a heart rate monitor and worked out exacting my pulse rate within the prescribed perameters, and lifted weights per instruction. But then I missed a few sessions due to illness and I didn't change my eating habits much because I didn't want to try to take too much on at once and set myself up for failure. I worked incredibly hard, just not at eating right. At the end of the eight weeks I had paid for, I had gained 8 pounds of fat (not muscle - we tested) and my trainer told me in no friendly terms that I must be eating pretty poorly to have gained weight despite the training. A few things happened all at once: First, she went from being a supportive cheerleader to being condemning, condescending, callous and totally without compassion. Second, this made me realize that non-overweight people - health professionals included - truly do not understand overweight people at all. She took her job because exercise fascinates her - I only exercise because I will die if I don't. As far as she was concerned, she had done her bit, so my failure was due to my undedicated and slovenly behavior. Third, this made me realize that I was totally on my own, if even the personal trainer could turn against me and place blame so quickly, and that this was the most I could ever do, the hardest I could ever work, and I still failed. I hit the deepest rock bottom despair I had had since my clinical depression in high school, only this was due to genuine circumstance, not a biological accident. I knew then that I was powerless to change without intervention, so I came home, looked up weight loss surgery, found the band, told my boyfriend, and haven't looked back since.

Do you have a 'last straw' story when you realized you had to have surgery? I realize it's kind of self-indulgent to dwell on on those TV drama moments, but hey, sometimes misery just loves company. What was your last straw?

It's funny, I thought, "hmm, mom sounds jealous" before I had even read that she is overweight herself. A friend of mine who has also struggled with her weight told me over lunch one day that she was really going to step up her routine because she was not, like me, going to "take the easy way out. I'm actually going to have to work." If my mouth hadn't been full, it would have dropped to the table at her rudeness. I think when people have struggled themselves, this 'stomach shrinking' seems to be a perfect solution, so they become bitter about not being able (for pride or whatever reason) to do it themselves. This manifests itself as digs at you. It is said that the man most likely to throw stones at a glass house is the man who very nearly lived in one himself. It's kind of contradictory to be concerned about the risks and complications (or so she said), and then claim that it is an easy thing to do. If she keeps up, I'd be very tempted with something snarky like, "Yeah, it's the easy way out - so why don't you try it? Clearly the hard way hasn't been working for you."

Hi Minnesotans! I'm in the twin cities area - anyone have theirs done at the U of M? I go under the knife on Tuesday April 17. Very excited, but a little nervous. I'm happy to chat should anyone pick up the MN thread. :confused:

I've never heard about or seen the Oprah episode everyone is referencing, but I have wondered about replacing addiction, too. I am SERIOUSLY addicted to carbohydrates. I love the rush of euphoria at around the end of the first bite of a dessert. I've been known to giggle uncontrollably in public while eating much-craved chocolate or ice cream because the pleasure rush is nigh uncontrollable. Honestly, though, I doubt that I have an addictive personality. I really think I am just addicted to food. I do tend to get intense obsessions that last weeks at a time, like watching House episodes back to back on DVD, or quilting into odd hours of the night, but once the desire for food is gone I doubt I will find something else destructive to replace it. And hey, how bad could being addicted to sex really be?

I got my resting metabolic rate (RMR) tested about 8 months ago when I tried hiring a personal trainer. As it turns out, I would need about 1900 calories a day to maintain my weight if I were in a coma. Given that I have steadily been gaining weight, I'd have to guess I eat at least 2500 cals on an average day, more on unaverage days. Getting my RMR tested was one of the most eye-opening things I've done - it really is different for each individual, so the guidelines you see everywhere are virtually useless if you don't know for sure that they match your individual metabolic rate. I realized that when I was on Weight Watchers, I was literally STARVING my body with only 26 'points' per day (about 1300 calories). I cheated every day and still lost weight rapidly, still felt hungry. I was so angry at Weight Watchers for having put me through the mental turmoil of feeling like a failure for finding their one-size-fits-all program impossible. Now I just take caloric guidelines with a pinch of salt, as it were, and try to focus more on what kinds of food I eat. It was such a relief to find out that I really did need more food than the rest of the world said I did! Of course, I'm still eating more than I need, but that's where the band comes in....

Congrats on ... everything! Weight loss, model recovery, exercise, etc. I've enjoyed this thread and can't wait for pictures!

It seems like they are setting you up for failure, doesn't it? They totally plan to give you the coverage, but they want to see you fail for a good six months first. I don't have Cigna, but my way around the six months was to write down every single diet I'd ever been on, including ones suggested by doctors, and submitted that to them. I think these can count, depending on how strict your insurance company is. It's worth a shot anyway.

Good luck! I'm anxious to hear of your progress. I'll be going under the knife 4/17.

I told only my boss, family and 3 close friends. Everyone at work just thinks I am just going on vacation. Heh, I told them I will mostly be 'lying around at home' which I am sure will be true. I never really decided to tell people or not, so I've stayed silent just because I don't know. On the one hand, I agree that keeping silent seems like you are ashamed. But on the other hand, SO few people understand how difficult it is for us to eat normally, and most have only heard the drastic stories of weight loss surgeries gone awry. Worst of all, I dread people trying to talk me out of it or convince me I don't really need it, ask if I've tried this and that diet, and tell me about their cousin's success with Atkins. I understand they will be good-intentioned, but it comes back to not understanding the severity of the problem that leads one to surgery. I don't want to have to defend myself OR cause people great concern. I think it's probably just more hassle than it's worth to tell people who don't need to know.

Newcastle or Sunderland?

Congratulations! That approval is such a relief, isn't it? Looks like you've had a pretty lucky go of it, only 2 months! I have my surgery exactly one week after yours - I hope to hear more from you!

Good questions to ask the doc - thanks for posting! Did you view the lapband surgery at OR-live.com? Or is there another site somewhere that broadcasts the surgeries? Isn't watching fascinating?

my surgery got pushed back - I'm now scheduled for April 17 - still an April Bandster, though!

I am a little scared. Tomorrow is my final pre-op visit. I am supposed to have lost five pounds by then, but I think I'll have gained at least two (according to the scale this morning). I totally lost control last night to a carb craving and could not stop myself for anything. I just kept eating and eating, feeling guilty the whole time, but it was practically impossible to stop. I resisted for a long time, but by the time I broke down and had some waffles, I was crying because the craving was so strong. I'm scared that the doctor won't do the surgery if I haven't lost the weight because it means I'm unwilling or unable to follow doctor's orders. Has anyone run into this or something similar? I finally got my approval from the insurance company, but now I'm freaking out that I won't be approved by the doctor. Any recommendations or words of comfort? Thanks.

Yay! Insurance approved my surgery! I got the letter in the mail and can't say how relieved I am. I was so worried they wouldn't accept my diet history as a doctor-controlled, results-documented regimen. It seems so silly that some insurance companies make you go on a six month supervised doctor program just to verify that you will fail. Unless for some reason you really have never thought about losing weight before and just decided this would be the easiest, but I'll bet that anyone here has a mile long list of other diets they've tried before finally even considering surgery. Thank goodness that's all (or mostly) over with. Only worry now is that they will post-pone my surgery until I lose the five (probably seven now, sigh) pounds they told me I had to lose before the pre-op appointment. The pre-op is tomorrow, and I have most definitely not lost the weight. Anyway, biggest hurdle jumped. Insurance says I'm clear!

Congratulations! I just got my letter of approval today, too. Isn't it a relief?!

Congrats on making the decision! I am getting banded 4/17/07 (hopefully, we'll see how my pre-op visit goes). I was just barely on the cusp to qualify as BMI 40, but my surgeon 'rounded up' for me, from 39.9 to 40. If you aren't at 40, you can still usually be covered if you have a 'co-morbidity' that is due to or exacerbated by having excess weight. From your history, it sounds like you've definitely tried enough doctor-prescribed methods to convince them. I have BCBS, and they approved me, even though the only doctor regimens I've had were, "eat healthier, get more exercise." Good luck!

Thank you all for responding! (Love the dance, especially). To Mischevious1: As far as my documentation, I just sat in front of the computer one day and typed out all of the diets I could possibly think of that I had ever been on. Then I organized them as best I could by the age I was when I went on it, how much I lost, and how long I was on it. I went all the way back to crash dieting at age 11/12 and included mentions of doctors who told me just to "get more exercise and cut calories." I printed it out and brought it to my initial consultation with the surgeon. Everyone in the surgeon's office was very impressed with it, and the psychologist said it was extremely helpful as well. Luckily the surgeon's office took care of sending everything to the insurance company, so I didn't have to do much petitioning myself, but I certainly didn't supply some of the more nit-picky records they said were a requirement. I didn't even talk to my regular doctor until I knew things would go smoothly regarding the surgery because she is also very conservative and I didn't want her trying to convince me to just 'give exercise another chance." Just pull together everything you have, including those journals, and then see if they ask for more. Good luck!

Welcome! I'm getting banded April 10, so we're heading down the road together. There are a lot of great people here and great advice. Hope you stick around!

Wow, I am closing on my house in a few days too and will be moving very near to my surgery date (April 10). Let me know how juggling everything at once goes! I'm nervous and excited, too.