shiny

i have emailed several in the area, explained my situation and i usually just get the same thing- they reply with the price of the office visit, the price of the unfill and a 'we wish you the best of luck' we recently moved to saint louis - i honestly believe that the people in this field are not out to help people... it is all about the money, and when you don't have it, you don't seem to matter anymore.

I was banded in June of 2010. Before the 2 week liquid diet i was 284 - day of surgery I was 267. Today, over a year later I teeter between 297 and 300. I have had 2 fills. I was banded through missouri health net (medicaid) because I was on SSI (i am disabled, but have never had a job- so ssi not actual ss disability). I am bipolar with mixed symptoms of schizophrenia, and have a connective tissue disorder. At the time of surgery I was on medication for bipolar, fibromyalgia, chronic pain (not fibro pain- but joint pain due to my connective tissue dis), insomnia and schizophrenia symptoms. A few months after I was banded, my husband started to receive actual SS Disability, and I lost my medicaid due to the federal income limits. No more psych meds, no more pain meds, no more band visits. Our income dramatically decreased, and though I had been on medicaid for *years*, I was suddenly stranded with no medical coverage at all. Off my meds, and no longer able to afford Protein drinks, Vitamins, I started to gain... alot. My last fill was incredibly painful (there was so much scar tissue around the port it took the nurse 3 sticks and lots of 'digging' and internal 'clicking' to find the port (they don't use any kind of numb-er either.. it was horrible- it's a year later and i'm still cringe thinking about my last fill!) and I know the scar tissue has just continued to build up (I can feel a huge knot at the port site- keloid scarring is a thing w/my disorder) ... I am miserable Almost every time I eat anything I throw up, same with drinking- it feels like I'm swallowing my own throat sometimes, but when i can eat- I can 'eat the house' my stomach is often hard and bloated, again, I was only 267 day of surgery and am now teetering 300- I can't sleep- I can feel the knot in my port side, and my left side is often extremely sore... and I won't even get started on my mental status without my pills. I can't afford to have someone drive me the 3 hours to my surgeons office- and even If i could, I have no more medical coverage, and couldn't afford a self pay visit anyway... I have called fill centers, and 400 for an unfill visit is literally impossible for me... (we live check to check- under 1300 a month - and even with food stamps - we struggle to get by after paying our bills and setting aside for taxes) I try to only eat once a day so my husband and daughter have more to go around- but I'm always gaining... I think I should do liquids - but buying something separate for myself is out of the question... our income situation is not going to change- I can't drive, I can barely walk because of my disorder, even if I could drive, I'm over 30 with literally no job experience, I use a cane and wear ankle and wrist braces (and on occasion am in a wheelchair due to my hip) I feel like I'm going to die because of this surgery, I feel they never should have let me have the surgery being on medicaid since there is always the chance of loosing it, I feel like they never should have agreed to it because of my mental state and my connective tissue disorder (they did not anticipate my scarring)... After canceling my appointments after I lost my medicaid, that was it, no calls from the clinic wondering if i was going to come in, no letters reminding me of annual l appointments ... they got their money from the state and I feel that's all they really wanted in the first place... Has anyone else landed in my situation? low income, No insurance, no more doctors and just gaining gaining gaining? I just don't know what to do...