Sweet Toni

Does anyone know where i can find a walk/run? I want to get started on doing some activites, but i don't even know where to start, HELP!

Ok great! Im a beginner, but i wanted to do something to get myself excited about working out. I have been on a low lately and i think this is just the thing to get me pumping again. I appreciate the help, maybe i'll see you there!

I agree with Thomas. I'm not married and no where near it, but i think have a story that may help. My mom is a beautiful, 5'9 about 160lb women. She wasn't always like that. I wasn't born when this happened but i hear the story hear and there more than 35 years later. When my dad married her she was about 230-240lbs. He went on a 9 month Navy deployment and when he came back she was skinny. You know what he tried to do? Fatten her up. Until he realized it wasn't happening and he actually like her healthier. 35 years my mom has kept off her weight, 35 years!!!!! She works out, eats right, (why can't i do that right?). And let me tell you it paid off!!! My dad wasn't a heavy man, but he liked to eat! He loved food. And to his dismay, it caught up with him. High blood pressure, then sugar diabetes. And guess who was there to help get him on track? My mom! And now they are both pretty healthy eaters. My dad, yeah he still loves the sweets, but i always say im going to tell my mom on him! LOL All in all, i agree with Thomas, he will come around. And you're healthy eating may rub off on him. Don't give up hope and don't be discouraged, try to stay positive about it. Just because you will be eating healthy doesn't mean it won't be good food! Show him girl! It may take you a while to be able to stomach those foods, but once you can, show him how you can eat GOOD FOOD and still be healthy. Trust me you can, my dad can make a mean steak! But it has a salad with it, and maybe a half a baked yam to go with it (balance!) Lol, anyway, good luck!

So I am apologizing now for those of you who haven't watched the Biggest Loser episode for this week, but I’m just going to mention a few things. I got a total wakeup call this week watching the show. Time and time again I’ve used my weight to give people pleasure. I love to make people laugh and have always had a great sense of humor, and what better way to get past the uncomfortable awkwardness of being fat than to make people laugh about it, right!? So this week on Biggest Loser, Vinnie, pulls his stomach out of his shirt and starts using his belly button as a mouth and calls his stomach Cecil. He jiggles it around, makes everyone laugh, EXCEPT for Dolvett his trainer. I have found myself in some similar situation. No I don’t whip my stomach out and start talking with it, but I make funny jokes about my back fat, and rolls, and big thighs. EVERYONE GETS A GOOD LAUGH. But am I really laughing inside? Or am I actually crying inside. You should’ve seen the faces they were showing on Dolvett, he was not happy at all. On his side interview he expressed how UNFUNNY being fat was. And made some very interesting points. Honestly I can’t remember which examples he actually used, so I’ll use my own. If it was Luekemia, would you laugh and make jokes? What about colon cancer, or MS? Being fat is no laughing matter! So why do we do this to ourselves. Why do we try to ease our pain with jokes? Why do we laugh at other fat jokes that other people tell, far or skinny. AND YES I am going to use the word fat, and if you get offended I’m sorry. Why don’t we stick up for ourselves!!!!! Tell people it’s not funny! Tell ourselves it’s NOT funny! We don’t want to make people feel uncomfortable, or change the mood cause we are hanging out with friends and it would make things awkward. Well you know what, FAT JOKES MAKE ME FEEL AWKWARD. Every time I hear this line I cringe “hahaha no she was big, like 300lbs big”. THAT’S ME!!!! Why do we go along with it, like the weight is not there. Like the health problems are not there. And trust me honey if you don’t have any, you will soon enough. I get it people! I really do, sometimes it is funny to laugh about things, AT FIRST. Prime Example: A few years ago I went to an Amusement Park. I watched a slightly heavy girl get on a ride. She sat in the seat, and I watched at this ride operator tried to almost break her ribs to get the clap to shut. I laughed, saying under my breath “just stop and get off”. You could see the guy was trying his hardest and so was she to suck it in. All in all, it was funny AT THAT TIME. Until I realized I would NEVER want to be in that type of situation. Can you imagine the humiliation she felt? And everyone around her was thinking the same thing, she was too fat to ride the ride. In the end there was nothing funny about that AT ALL. So what are we afraid of? Why are we scared to say “I’m not comfortable with my weight”. For me, it’s because of my number one fear. I say I’m offended by those words and someone actually saying to, WHY NOT DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT? What will my answer be? How will I handle that question? Am I really doing everything in my power to change it, or am I making excuses. Nothing about being fat is comfortable. But we deal! But one thing I believe we should do is take more pride in ourselves. No being obese is not a good thing, but we are doing everything in our power not be healthy! Let’s change it, let’s do something about it and stop laughing at it! I had a talk with my sister the other day. We get along great but we are like oil and water, lol! We are both big girls. Have been for most of our teenage and adult lives. I’ve NEVER been okay being fat. But her she was fine. She said big and happy, until she got stroked out! She literally had a stroke at 30 yrs old (a mini stroke, but a STROKE!). She couldn’t believe it, and neither could I. What’s funny about that? I thought about what Dolvett said and it hit me hard. I have very few big girls or guys as friends. But the ones I do have, let me tell you we just laugh it up sometimes. And I finally realized this week, being fat really isn’t funny.

Girl! .2 pounds, please you can't account that to anything. Don't get down over that, just tell yourself you're going to try harder! If you're already going hard, just keep doing what you're doing. All kinds of things scare me, ESPECIALLY leakage, but that is the risk of ANY surgery. But you just make you sure you've done your homework, get the best surgeon you possibly can and do everything you can to keep yourself healthy. As far as that scale! I would say chuck it out the window, but no one really wants to do that! Weight yourself once a week to 2 weeeks. Watch what you are eating, WRITE IT DOWN! Then when you get on the scale you know why you are up or down. But don't ever let it get you done, just a stepping stone!

I agree with IVY, this is the biggest loser sista! I mean 5 lbs in a week is a lot, ID LOVE TO LOSE THAT! You're walking so thats GREAT! I'm sure if you were doing intense cardio and weight training it would come off faster. BUT don't be discouraged, you are doing all the right things, just KEEP IT UP! Thats got to be super hard and i for one and proud of you girl!

oh good luck smoky!!! i hope all went well, keep us posted!!! yayayayayay!!!

Well i definitely wasn't asking the same questions in a different way. I had valid questions. Me and my coworker even went through them together. Trust me, she is very informed, questions that she got answered I didn't even ask. But questions that both her and i wanted to know, i asked! I've been through seminars, and to a nutritionist. ALL the required steps. I'll give you an example of questions i had 1. How long have you been performing bariatric srugery? 2. How long have you been performing the sleeve surgery? 3. How large of a bougie does your practice use? 4. Is there a standard size that the sleeve will be? And so on... questions I feel that no one else could answer (maybe) for me other than the surgeon. The practice is a center of excellence. The doctors are well known. I'm not concerned that they don't know how to do their job. They do it well and i've known plenty of people who have gone through this office and are fine. This doctor inparticular is the newest of the doctors on staff. So maybe he doesn't have it down yet. The other 2 doctors have been on staff for YEARS! But i highly doubt they would bring someone on who wasn't on the same level that they were. So its just like AMANDARN said most surgeons have bad bedside manner. It just sucks that it had to be mine and he rushed me the way he did. Like i said, im going to keep on praying and asking God for guidance. hopefully things will work out.

So i had my consultation yesterday. It didn't go like i planned AT ALL. When I left I felt like i wanted to cry because i was so disatisfied and i guess my feelings were a bit hurt. I've been super nervous about this decision of having WLS. My coworker is going through the same process, same doctors office (different surgeon). She told me how her experience was GREAT! She felt great leaving her appointment. The doctor didn't make her feel rushed as she was asking questions and she felt very comfortable with him. So i figured my experience would be about the same. Let me just say this, the center where i will be having my surgery is a center of excellence and well known throughout california. They perform hundreds of WLS surgeries a year and i am confident in their practice. Saying that, my doctor has BAD BEDSIDE MANNER. I say that because my consultation was NOTHING near the experience i thought it was going to be. I thought i was going to come out of that appointment feeling more positive about my experience and decision. And well i didn't, i almost left in tears. So i am a person who wants answer. If i am nervous about anything i want details on how things are supposed to go and what i am and what you are going to be doing. So i had a TON of questions, yes written down and ready to go! Yes i can read blogs, forums, and information articles all day long but there's nothing like hearing it from the horses mouth. I have a feeling i intimidated him. I'm quite sure he's never had anyone with this amount of questions. BUT I WANTED TO KNOW PEOPLE! So by the time i got through about 15 questions, you could tell he was getting frustrating. Crossed his legs, folded his arms, leaned back, and i just thought REALLY DUDE, THIS IS MY LIFE HERE? As soon as i flipped the page for another set of questions he has this shocked look and asks me "more?". YES I HAVE MORE! By that time i had gotten to nutritional questions, which he had suggested i take one of their 4 hour nutritional classes that they provide (not a bad idea). He clapped his hands at me, told me we needed to hurry it along, he had more patients to see. Umm it was almost 430pm and the office closed at 5pm. Hmmmmm i just had a hard time believing that, BUT maybe he did. So i skipped those and asked him a couple more out of spite. But they were honestly questions i wanted answers to, FROM A DOCTORS OPINION, i.e. "when can i start vigorously exercising?" ( i have a personal trainer so i REALLY needed to know). So after that, i shut down. I was just disappointed. It wasn't a comforting appointment. You know? I didn't feel like he was EXCITED to be helping into the next stage of my life. Yes i know its not going to be a piece of cake, i know there are going to be major struggles but the last thing i thought would make me want to rethink having surgery is having a doctor who was sensative enough. Maybe i'm just being extra sensative. I've been really praying and thinking about this process. Making sure i am making the right decision. And i just thought going to this appointment would affirm my decision to have WLS and the sleeve inparticular. Dont get me wrong, he answered some important questions for me and i believe he knows how to do his job. He just doesn't have very good bedside manner. Not that sensitive or comforting, you know? I don't wanna change doctors just because i feel like he doesnt have tact but i want to have a good experience going into this process. I want to have a good feeling about it. And i left out of that office feeling down, disappointed and like i had more anxiety than when i went in. Has anyone every had this happen? What did you do? For me, for now I am going to just keep praying. I believe that God will take me through. Whether i have surgery or not, i believe everything will be alright. I just wish i had a better feeling.....maybe it will come. Maybe the next appointment will be better. Maybe next appointment i will tell DR G how he made me feel last appointment or maybe i'll be a coward and say nothing. I know things are really not that bad, but i hope they get better and i start feeling better about this whole process.

congrats!

I've heard the quote before but in this time of my life i certainly didn't apply it. If there is anyone out there like me, having fear, doubt, and worry it is definitely time to STOP! I can think of a ton of reason why i shouldn't have bariatric surgery, but i can think of a ton of reasons why i should. My sister said to me the other day "IF YOU HAVE THE SURGERY YOU COULD DIE, IF YOU DON'T HAVE THE SURGERY YOU COULD DIE". Im gonna lay it out there, IM SCARED! Im scared of being cut, i'm scare of being sick, i'm scared of being put under and never waking up, im scared of sutures busting, or a leak or malfunction. I'm worried that i'm not making the right decision, that maybe i can still do it on my own. Yes if you can't tell I can be a worry wort! Its usually silent, i don't share it with anyone until it almost eats away at my insides and i just have a breakdown. Has anybody else felt this way? I'm feel like im the only one who has felt this way, which i know i'm not! Those words up there are soooo true, tell the storm how BIG YOUR GOD IS!!! Refuse to doubt, refuse to fear, TRUST IN GOD. This is not a decision i've taken lightly. Its not something i decided on yesterday. So why do i doubt, why do i fear? WHERE IS MY FAITH? So from this day forward i vow to trust instead of doubt. I will believe instead of worry. I will remove fear and replace it with faith. No matter what happens, i know EVERYTHING will work out fine

MY PRAYERS ARE WITH YOU ST